A nomination for bloated blockbuster movies, particularly ones about superheroes.
This isn’t a cunting of the ‘Blockbuster’ in general as that would include Planet of the Apes, The Godfather and Jaws (their queues stretched around the city block and beyond), just the recent trend in Hollywood churning out dross for eyewatering sums and making them all look like fucking cartoons.
A quick look down the list of the most expensive films will demonstrate that a lot of these films cease to be actual ‘films’ and become a braindead hybrid of theme park ride and lurid cartoon. Cinematography and screenwriting seem to be dying arts, particularly with the House of Mouse.
You will see numerous entries from the Pirates of the Caribbean series (a series based on a Disney attraction), the Marvel films, the ridiculous Fast and Furious series, the moribund Star Wars property, the recent Bond outings that ruin the characters, and a few children’s cartoons such as Tangled.
Peter Jackson’s’ Adventure around the Greenscreen’ that left McKellen in tears of boredom, The Hobbit, cost north of $600m to produce across three overly-long films and is not well -liked by anyone. For an adaptation of a single children’s book it seems something only Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria would’ve done, rather than the director of low budget horror films.
Link about McKellen breaking down on the set of The Hobbit; Express News Link
Fucking madness.
Personally, I would limit most of this dross to a relatively thrifty $100m a film.
A smaller budget usually forces a director to think more creatively.
Compare these monstrosities to the budgets of a few of Christopher Nolan’s films (even The Dark Knight, a superhero film that was actually filmed, cost around $180m and made about $1bn because it was a decent crime film, as well as being about Batman).
Inception cost $160m, Dunkirk $150m and The Prestige $40m.
Nolan’s breakthrough film Memento, using a non-linear narrative had a budget of $5m, and made almost $40m worldwide.
Even Tarantino’s most expensive film to date, Once upon a Time in Hollywood, is only $90m, but it is a well-shot film and made $240m worldwide.
The Revenant cost $135m but made back $530m as it’s a compelling story and shot in real locations and uses them to help tell the story.
It turns out a lot of these more artistically-minded grown-up films with budgets around $100m make back their budget more times over than stupid bloated cartoons from Disney. it was as true in the late sixties and throughout the seventies; Audiences want a well-shot film with compelling story and characters, and now word of mouth travels faster , thanks to the Internet.
I don’t expect Hollywood to take much notice though.
Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime
I’d like to see a modern Hollywood remake of the 1979 classic ‘Scum’.
Tom Hardy saying ‘Wheres ya Tool?’ to Will Smith before smashing the cunts head in, in a Beverly Hills boiler house then declaring himself as the ‘new daddy’ whilst telling him to get some coal dust on those marks…………
Id also like to see that useless, fat, Z list shit cunt James Cordon get made air-tight in the green house by Kevin Spacey, Ricky Martin and Caitlin Jenner.
I slipped sir…..
Guvnors report…….
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4737 Carlin, SIR!
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You could have that useless LA ginger cunt as the fat chutney ferret who was always combing his hair!!
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as a Father of two lads I had to sit through the worst offender of CGI excess the Transformers franhise. It’s just a migraine inducing vaccuous blur of counter-rotating pixels.
6
The 1972 film ” The Possesion of Joel Delany” was the most terrifying film I’ve ever seen.
“Deliverance” came a close second.
But for sheer entertainment value “Every Which Way But Loose”
Hang a right, Clyde!
4
Whistle And I’ll Come To You.
Now that was scary shit….
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Can’t beat a Burt Reynolds film from the 70’s. Smokey and the Bandit, Hooper. Belters. Usually broke the fourth wall, too and didn’t seem to take himself seriously.
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Sally Field in Smoky and the Bandit.
I’d have screwed her till doomsday…
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Eastwood in the 70s too, DCI.
High Plains Drifter, Dirty Harry, Every Which Way But Loose, The Eiger Sanction, Play Misty For Me. Ace.
5
Absolutely, Norm. Have you seen ‘Gran Torino’? I’d imagine his character would fit in well on this site! Don’t forget ‘Where Eagles Dare’, too. Classic!
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The first three Rocky films were great.
4
The Mean Machine was a Reynolds classic.
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The Hollywoke Marvel films get worse and worse.
Legendary Marvel Comics character, Thor, is being played by Hollywood luvvie and femstapo gobshite, Natalie Portman.
How does a skinny female stick insect get to portray a huge brick shithouse Viking God bloke? Will she able to lift the axe? What the fuck will be next? Taylor Swift as The Punisher? Phoebe Waller Cunt as The Incredible Hulk? For fuck’s sake…
Mind you, Rebel Wilson as The Thing might be a winner…😏
10
Anything written by or starring Phoebe Waller-Bridge or fellow poshling Jack Whitehall is unwatchable.
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Vampyros Lesbos.
Now, that was a classic film….
5
That new Elvis film looks fucking shite.
Looks nothing like the King.The cunt looks more like a Parking Stan Lee.
Besides, Baz Luhrmann is a cunt.
5
Same with Rocket Man. The producers were excessively kind to Fat Reg by casting Taron Egerton.
I would’ve cast Matt Lucas.
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The Woman In Red was a shit film. But Kelly LeBrock was shit hot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZukN1KpIy6M
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