TV Neighbours (3) – Evicted at Last

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(Kylie’s best asset – Day Admin)

The fuss about the end of Neighbours is a load of cunt.

I know there was an unfathomable craze for this programme in the late 80s. But, the truth is, it was shite.

The godawful pop careers of a good few of its stars was bad enough (Kylie and Jason, we know about. But Craig McLachlan for fuck’s sake).

But the way this country compulsively watched this excrement and the rabid hype that surrounded it was totally absurd. Every cunt was at it. But there was nothing good about it whatsoever. Crappy sets, diabolical acting, and you couldn’t even laugh at it (like you could at Prisoner Cell Block H).

Neighbours was so bad, it made Crossroads look like Coronation Street in 1970. Neighbours always was crap of the highest order. I hated it then and I hate it now. It also had the most cringeworthy TV theme of all time.

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Nominated by: Norman

65 thoughts on “TV Neighbours (3) – Evicted at Last”

  2. Fuck neighbors, fuck Craig Mc Lauchlan, fuck Jason Donavan. Fuck the miniogue sisters and Their arses. Hard.

  3. The worst part of it? It gave Aussie cunts a self perceived aura of “cool”-resulting in what felt like, every single fucking pub or bar-person being a loud, smug, Aussie or Kiwi👎

    Worse still, we have adopted elements of the Aussie dialogue, back in the motherland.

    The sound of teenagers greeting each other with “G’day”, “fair dinkum” or “throw a shrimp on the baaaaaa-bie”. Fuck off “Cobber”

    Finally, the gnats piss that passes for “lager”-Fosters, XXXX et al👎

    That header photo is, however, most agreeable. I agree with admin/it most certainly is Ms Minogue’s best angle.
    Phwoooaaar👍

    • Good Morning CG

      It’s the copying of the Australian accents that boils my piss. It seems whenever I hear someone aged 50 or under being interviewed, and serious supposedly well educated people, they have an upward inflection at then of their sentences making every statement sound like a question.

      Everything has its’ day but Neighbours should have been pensioned off a quarter of a century ago.

      • Exactly.
        You have to ask them if they’re sure after each sentence!

  4. I knew a bloke who moved out to Australia on the strength of “Neighbours”….thought he was going to tap into all the spare fanny in Ramsey Street that was obviously gagging for a short,fat,boring Cunt who didn’t have a day’s work in him….didn’t last too long…he got beaten up by the farmer he was meant to be working for and came straight home..no Kylie in tow. I was disappointed when I heard…not because I liked him,I didn’t,he was a wanker…but because it rather scuppered my plan to fly out to Summer Bay and offer Leah ( Ada Nicodemu) a cock to suck on….perhaps Australia wasn’t actually crawling with spare gash forced to date obviously Fruity Australians.

    https://images.app.goo.gl/73dY65WVQzG5Dygx6

    • Mr.Boggs will give us the definitive answer on whether Neighbours was shite…just as soon as Mrs.Boggs tells him.

      (You’re not suggesting our erstwhile Mr Boggs is under the thumb/bum of Mrs Boggs are you, Dick? – Day Admin)

  5. Mrs Terry informs me it’s full of Orientals,Trannies,D.ykes and Puffs.

    I’m amazed it’s been allowed to shut down this being the case.

    Fuck em with a dead koala.

    • I will admit that I watched this shite for a while back in the day, but the most striking thing about it was how very young people would turn up unannounced and move in with some old cunt that they had no relationship with, it all looked like a job for Social Services.

  6. I’d only watch the occasional episode of Home and away to spot Melissa George aka Angel dressed in a bikini.

    • Or Harold Bishop, a cunt who looked like he tucked his vest into his pants. Lock up your daughters!

  8. I just wish Emmerdale Farm faced the same fate. Thankfully the spouse could “never get into” the Aussie shit (there is another one whose name escapes me but is still running), though she tried. Thankfully in the days when she tried it was on in the daytimes and I was working.

  9. The upward inflection, the ubiquitous use of the word “uni”, makes me fucking cringe and want to unleash serious violence. Neighbours, Home and Away, Prisoner Cell Block H, Flying Doctors,Paul Hogan, Skippy…….this is the cream of the crop of Australian culture. Fuck knows what the rest of it must be like. I don’t really want to know. Good riddance to that load of old shit.

    • Good morning you cunt, I cannot get the theme of Skippy out of my head.

    • Only good thing that was ever on Aussie telly was Sale of the Century. And that was only because of the birds that were on it. And I’ve got Tony Barber in the dead pool.😉

  10. I never figured out just why people watch all that shite! My ex used to binge watch all the soaps. Do people not have enough drama in their own lives and have to watch some fantasy fuckwits? I never ‘got’ Dallas and Dynasty but at least it was a bit of escapism. I imagine the likes of EastEnders, Coronation St and that fucking Emmadale to be something that posh folks watch just to see how the lower class live!

    • In EastEnders why did:
      A) no one owned a washing machine and used the launderette?
      B) no one ever ate a home cooked meal but ate in that cafe?
      C) spent cash everyday in that fucking shit pub?
      D) that Uber Cunt, shit actor Adam Woodycunt not get fucking battered in every episode, the obnoxious cunt!

      • Foghorn-you forgot the most important and obvious question.
        The “Ephant in Albert Park”, if you will.

        To wit:
        E) why are there so many white people?

      • Also:

        How did that human weasel, Ian Beale, get to marry loads of sexy wives (apart from that Laura mInger?)

        The Queen Vic has still not closed down, after multiple murders, rapes and fires on the premises?

        Why does every cunt in ‘Ver Square’ run their own business or a a market stall nearby?

        How come that fat pisspot cunt, Phil Mitchell is still the local hard man and lord of ‘ver manor’, when a younger and tougher cunt would have leathered him and overthrown him years ago?

        Why is Danny Dyer such a cunt?

        How come Zoe Slater (Michelle Ryan)’s tits were so captivating?

  12. @Norman. I can forgive Tony Hatch for writing the most cringeworthy TV theme as he also wrote one of the best ( if not THE best ) pop tunes ever.
    Namely ‘ Downtown ‘.
    A proper pop tune, not like todays dross.
    Hope you’re keeping well 👍
    Good morning.

    • The theme to Crossroads was pretty fucking good, played with the 12 string guitar.

      • The Archers theme makes me projectile vomit! Unfortunately the wife is addicted.

        Mind you, it’s the only soap she follows so I should count my blessings.

      • I remember the Byrds-like Crossroads theme.

        The ‘dramatic’ end theme was credited to McCartney, but it was actually Wings/Thunderclap Newman guitarist, Jimmy McCulloch,(RIP).

  13. I’m a soap Dodger.
    Never liked these things.
    Probably too intellectual for it.
    My mam does though,
    When I was at home they’d be on,
    And they have a insidious way of sticking in your brain.

    You think your not watching them,
    But end up knowing the theme tune and who the cast is .

    Only one I liked was Emmerdale farm.
    Not the racey modern one with fit birds, and ethnics in it,u
    The old one with Seth Armstrong and Amos Breiley.
    Sort of relaxing, numbing,
    Like I imagine taking heroin in a warm bath must feel.

    Comfortably numb.

    • Mnc@ – When we were young I was forced to watch this utter dross – Crossroads, Coronation Street – Emmerdale Farm was the only vaguely bearable one – mad old bitch Annie Sugden permanently rolling fucking pastry and ordering the two dopey, useless fuckwit Sons about like Rudolf Hess.
      Left the Family home, never watched it again.
      The “Neighbours” 2022 version will be nearly ready “Honourable Chinese State takes over decadent Australia – you work for ME now longnose!” – given that Australia has been pretty much sold to China lock, stock and barrel by the NWO snakes “in charge” I do not think that would be far off the mark.

      • I know Victoria Lucas/Johnny Monroe well. Merciless piss taking, especially of the BBC. The Scottish football results one on Vimeo is brilliant.

        https://player.vimeo.com/video/478655313

        Coronation Street was great in the 70s. But when they lost Annie Walker, Billy Walker, Eddie Yeats, Len Fairclough, Elsie Tanner, Albert Tatllock and Stan Ogden in 1984, the show should have called it a day for good.

  14. Surely worst or all time was “Crossroads”, the only one I know of where even the regulator was driven to warn the producers that if they didn’t fix it they, the regulator, would take it off air.

  15. Kylie’s arse and my face were made for each other.
    Unfortunately, the dear lady is unaware of this fact ☹️
    My letters must have gone astray 😀

  16. Fair bloody dinkum aaaaassholes!

    I’d have rattled my love spuds on Kylie’s box.

    Ideally a threesome with Kylie, Natalie Imbruglia and me, in a king sized bathtub of swarfega. The simple things in life…

    (To quote Kylie – “You’ll be fucking lucky, lucky, lucky…” – Day Admin)

  18. Regarding Kylie’s arse, as pert and shapely as it.might be remember that smelly brown stuff, ie, shit comes out of it, I for one never see the appeal of the chocolate starfish, that’s for doughnut punchers

  19. Call me fussy, but I never really got the Kylie fascination. Nice arse admittedly, but flat chested and buck toothed. I much preferred Natalie Imbruglia.
    Aussie soaps are guilty of introducing the idea that, rather than portraying normal people, as Corrie once did, that everyone should be a hunk or a babe. No wonder the acting was and is often questionable. It’s this kind of casting principle that’s seen mockney diamond geezer Danny ‘straightener on the cobbles’ Dyer defile our tv screens. Fuck em all into oblivion I say.

  20. Neighbours.

    The shit soap where terms such as “Oy Noy!” “Rack off!” or “I’m stoked!” were often prevalent.

    Who was that annoying fat poof with the wobbling jowls? Was it Harold Bishop?

    The boring fella who lived with his mother in law and always answered his phone by saying his name “Jim Robinson”

    Annalise was the fittest bird they ever had on there and Bouncer the Labrador retriever was the best actor.

    Good Morning.

  21. Kylie…hmm. squeaky little mouse, ripping off Madogga and Brigitte Bardot. Nothing original, one arse and a pair of ironing board titties.
    The least likely grease monkey ever, strip away the gloss and you’ll get a simian female Lee Evans.

    • Kylie? Nice khyber, but her numerous crimes against music have sort of put me off. When it became ‘cool’ to see Kylie as an ‘indie’ (Ha Ha🤣) ‘artist’ in the 90s, it was cringeworthy. From hated Stock Aitken and Waterman fodder to the pop puppet it was suddenly acceptable to like. That horrendous record she did with that rat faced Jagger impersonator, Bobby Gillespie was shite and all. Now, of course, Kylie makes records for LGBTQ cunts. And they are the only ones that will buy them.

      Kylie also helped cause the downfall of Smash Hits magazine. Once a genuinely witty and satirical look on the 80s pop and rock world, it went shit overnight in 1988 and featured Kylie and that poof Jason every issue.😒

      • The thing she did with Nick Cave was good.

        Just dont like her. Too fake smiley.

  22. I’ve never seen this programme. I’m pretty sure I’d think it was shit, the same as all the other soap operas, so I haven’t bothered to watch one episode. I can’t imagine why anyone, having found out how bad it was, would want to torture themselves by watching more of it, unless they have masochistic tendencies.

  23. Working as a TV repairman during the 80s and 90s meant I had to suffer loads of Aussie shit soap operas.
    Sons and Daughters was by far the most lurid… 🤪

  24. All TV soaps can fuck off. Then all the daytime itv programmes that thrive on this shit can fuck off too. Schofield, Willoughby, Kelly and or whoever else spivs a living off it. Ant and Dec can fuck off as well. How much more £ can they bleed off itv and win the same shit TV gong every year. I want to be voted ‘working from home consultant of the year’ but is that happening? Fuck no. The world is so fucked now that life seems like a real life never ending soap nightmare. I don’t need to see it on TV too. Apart from Ian Beale being flushed down the bog. TV gold that…

  25. I could never stick my tongue up a lass’s arse.

    Fucking foul.

    Although Kylie at her peak? I’d have snaffled away like a pig at a trough.

    I doubt if I’d have come up for air at any point, and would’ve almost certainly ended up in an intensive care unit.

    Good job for her she was wise enough to enforce the restraining order and save me from such horrors.

  26. Although the birds in Aussie soaps were mostly ridiculously fit. I was a late teen when Home and Away and Neighbours were at their peak.

    If I watched for more than 5 minutes I’d have a boner so I didn’t watch it in the living room.

    Having to get up off sofa to eat your tea at the dining table, with a massive stonk on in front of the family is not a pleasant experience.

    Although the ‘ladies’ on Prisoner Cell Block H were all fucking dog rough. They should’ve put that on at tea time come to think about it.

  27. A former mate of mine had the very annoying habit of calling cans of beer ‘tinnies’ during the 80s Neighbours craze.

    He would even say ‘Fancy a tinnie, mate?’ in a horrible Hogan-esque accent. And he wasn’t taking the piss either. He was trying to look ‘cool’. He was a right knob.

    That Home and Away on ITV was also shite of the highest order. There was a bird with cracking whammers in it though (on the right in the pic below). She unfortunately now looks like a double decker bus, and was coincidentally last seen in Neighbours.

    https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ms6zGGSSoFw/WlzwQag0KZI/AAAAAAAAQVU/k1CMsgY0TJ8oS9vNqVBv3Yb3r2d5hbCngCLcBGAs/s1600/Home%2B%2Band%2B%2BAway.png

  28. Neighbours was only shite if you were a raving gay. It was full of gorgeous fanny during my time watching it throughout the nineties and early noughties.

    I have it to thank for many early bedtimes.

  29. Shit show,shit actors,but Kylie did have the best arse ever.Her sister is a whore.

  30. Based on the constant advertisements for upcoming episodes alone I thought Neighbours was horrible I never watched it. Australian soap operas are woeful. There was one named The Restless Years during my schooldays. It was horrifying. On any given Thursday night during the late ’70s myself and mates would see one cast member named Nick Hedstrom at the Newport Arms pub. He was usually pissed as a fart. I’m surprised nobody belted him.
    Agree with the Delvene Delaney appreciation. She was every sensible schoolboys wank inspo when I was at school.

    • I recall seeing Delvene in a nurses uniform in the Young Doctors. Made an impression on me as a young lad, I can tell you…😉

      Restless Years also rings a bell. The bird who was in it went on to do Sale Of The Century. Dark haired quirky girl, and quite sexy from what I remember.

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