Royal Mail are cunts and cunts again!
A renowned online retailer sent me two separate parcels by recorded delivery to be signed for. Both orders were worth over 30 quid (vinyl records, as it happens) and I have 100% proof that the aforementioned shop did send them.
But, last week, those dozy or devious fucks from the Royal Mail delivered one parcel. Yet, on their website, the bastards claim that the two parcels were delivered to me on that day and that they were signed for.
First of all, only one parcel turned up. Second, I did not sign for anything and I wasn’t asked to either.The ‘signature’ on the Royal Mail website is an unintelligible scribble. But those cunts still insist that the postman/cunt who signed for the parcel that I did get signed for the other one at the same time and delivered both.
Only thing is, the total fuckhead didn’t and only delivered one. I also don’t believe it was delivered to the wrong house. It says it was delivered to me, but it hasn’t been.
I suspect some light fingery, and I hope the cunt’s hands fall off if that’s the case. I am now after twatting my postie and chasing up the infamous and useless Royal Mail complaints department. Fat lot of good that will do though.
In my current (OK, permanent) condition I can do without this shit. And The Royal Mail can fuck right off.
Nominated by: Norman
(Welcome back to the Fold, Norman. It’s good to hear from you once again.
– Lots of love. The Admin Team)
From my professional and personal experience I believe Royal Mail is filled with thieving bastards.
This is what happens when you use unvetted agency staff.
I have had no end of stuff go missing, and Royal mail are so blase about theft they just direct you to the online compensation site because they could not give a fuck that they employ criminals.
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thank tony blair, prosecuting the innocent and sacking them, then privatising royal mail
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BTW – Welcome back Norman! 😀👍
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Cheers, Vern.
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Good to see you back, Norman. Was wondering where you’d got to.
The Royal Mail is not at all what it used to be.
It should never have been privatised.
Good afternoon.
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Thanks, Jack. Evening, pal.
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Welcome back Norman! You have been missed.
Get a Ring doorbell. When the fuckers send a text stating your package has been delivered, just remind them of the aforementioned door bell and tell them it hasn’t.
See how quickly that package arrives in afternoon.
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Ring doorbells. (Other makes are available.) Fitted two recently. Our disabled younger daughter had a persistent problem with antisocial behaviour aimed at her. Fitted the Ring doorbell ; instant cure. A friend of mine suffering from cancer, already had video of reprobate poking around at 3am who spotted the doorbell and fucked off quick.
Recommended.
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Thanks for that Odin.
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Good show Norman.
Royal Mail has some good eggs and some right thick cunts.
Point of order:Recorded Delivery is bloody hopeless,for tracking and security the jolly expensive Special Delivery is the only way to go.
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Nice one Tez. It’s ggod to be back.
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Home delivery increased tremendously in 2020/21, hardly surprising since there were lock downs and people terrified to leave their homes.
Naturally, this led to a lack of personnel, so every delivery company, not just the Royal Mail, recruited any cunt with a driving licence, hardly surprising you’d get thieving bastards working for them.
I pay for everything through PayPal, they might be cunts, but they’re spot on with refunding non-delivered stuff.
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Welcome back, Norman.
Sorry to hear of your health issues.
Hopefully, one of the group of neds, who do wheelies at 100mph on illegal dirt bikes outside my house, will overcook it and provide a 100% match.
One can live in hope!
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Cheers Jeezum. One can indeed live in hope.
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I have your Dark Side Of The Moon, (solid blue triangle) LP, in my possession.
The Royal Fail’s service isn’t a patch on what it used to be. Full of thieving foreign cunts, and white trash no doubt.
I’ve stopped putting cash in birthday cards. It’s too obvious, and one has gone missing recently.
Commiserations Norman, and welcome back.
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Thanks Dick.
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RM Parcels are total cunts. Delivered a parcel to us and put a photo on their website to prove delivery. Very good chaps we haven’t got a yellow front door. Useless fucking cunts.
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The sig will be the now infamous C19 or Covid 19….the source of a thousand crooked refunds for INRs.
Most couriers are full of theives and workers who don’t give a shit…I was at the local shops a few days ago and saw the Hermes man throwing stuff into his van from the top step of the shop into his van below.
Where’s My Stuff, INR, A to Z claims are all used over and over for people who are basically pikey criminals.
Fuck them.
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A mate of mine works at the Gatwick sorting centre. he was telling me which sorting offices have known tea leafs working there.
If i flog anything on ebay and the value is above £50 i always send it “ next day special delivery “
It’s expensive but worth it because you will get fuck all compo off Royal mail even if you send it registered or first class signed for.
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RM once lost an eBay package it’s was about £50 cost to me I put in a compo claim they sent me 2 first class stamps.
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Not had a problem myself, but we’ve had the same postman for over 20 years and count him as a friend.
Not that I see him very often, I’m usually at work so my wife has more to do with him than I do. I can tell when a parcel has been delivered because she always has a nice glow about her when I get home in the evening.
One other thing, it never ceases to amaze me when the few parcels I do send actually reach their destination. I’m quite lucky in that regard.
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Hold on! The postman is “a friend?” The wife has “a warm glow about her” when he delivers a parcel?
Hmmmm……interesting.
That’s all I’m saying. None of my business.
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Whilst at public school half a century ago my dear ol’ pa would write to me each Sunday; it would arrive on Monday. A stamp cost 3 old pence (about 1.25 new pence for you less geriatric cunters).
Madam Guzzi sent a birthday card from Derbyshire to Cornwall a few years ago and it took 17 days to arrive. The stamp cost the best part of a quid. Given the advances in technology in the last 50 years , shouldn’t customers expect better?
Too fucking right they should!
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My local Hermes, sorry Evri, driver tipped me off last year that the retailer has to include a description of the contents, before they’ll accept the commission.
This information is, helpfully, displayed on the handheld devices all the drivers have.
Moral, don’t order anything desirable/valuable on line, if it will be delivered by Evri.
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Our postie is marvelous.
Dont mean hes any good,
Thats actually his name,
Hes a sootie gentleman.
As I see him open my artisanal made country cream gate and walk up the plum slate chippings path,
I know hes delivering creased ripped tattered mail or ripped open ransacked birthday cards.
Im resigned to it.
Its progress.
Sometimes after hes posted I’ll go out and sterilise my gate and watch him empty his mailbag down a grid.
Marvelous.
*Sorry to hear youve been poorly Norman,
Chin up lad👍
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Evening Miserable.
You said you “watch him empty his mailbag down a grid.” Is that an allusion to masturbation?
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Evening Ruff,
No, dont be so filthy minded.
Thats the problem with this site.
Smut.
Smut and innuendo.
Ive been speaking to Admin about a Mary whitehouse style moral crusade.
A purge.
You all need a damn good thrashing!!!
Yes a thrashing,
Red buttocks, howls of pain,
Thatll teach you,
You mucky pups,
The swish of the cane
Ladies first!
Naughty, naughty, naughty…
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Not right now Miserable, I’m just about to serve dinner.
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The world is decadent Ruff.
Earlier in work I googled
“Cute baby animals”
Guess what images I got?
Mangy Angie Rayner shooting pingpong balls from her big angry looking red fanny!!
It went on for 25minutes.
After Id shown it to the lad working for me,
The customer,
The woman in the chippy ,
Thats nearly 2 hrs long.
Its disgraceful.
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“That is the dirtiest comment I have read on ISAC for a very long time!”
(Mary Whitehouse, Mrs. Deceased)
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MNC, you don’t go after him with a hiking sock full of ball bearings?
I’m astonished, Sir.
I’d even venture that I’m gobsmacked!
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Evening JP.
No, no violent revenge.
Too depressed.😞
You have a mastercraftsman make you some gates.
You paint these gates a tasteful colour.
You work hard to maintain them, cherish them.
And people keep putting their grubby hands on them.
Dirty handprints!!
How does a postmans hands get so dirty?
I take the dog for a walk through the woods,
Her paws are cleaner!
Dont know why I bother JP I really dont.
Suppose you feel the same about your kimonos?
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Happi coats!
Lord, how many times??
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I fight on, Miserable, I fight on.
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Everytime Royal mail catch a thieving postman, his let off with a slap on the wrist.
Birthday cards, Christmas cards full of money taken. Not to mention parcels stolen…
Royal Cunts more like…..
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Nothing new there! Posties have always had their pilferers. People we always thought we could trust. Just like many other members in society. From those that stole postage stamps. Interfeared with registered post, & stole the little brown envelopes, that was someone elses weekly wage. Robbed 1/2 crowns from someone elses till. Or just grabbed the odd mail bag full of cash. But when someone did get caught it never made the news.
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More fiddles going on at Royal Mail than a soiree with Satan himself in a select ring of hell.
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Before the internet age and EBay, Amazon etc, how often did you receive a parcel? Once in a blue moon would be my guess. But ever since the Royal Mail have been playing catch up to the point they were almost bankrupt. They should be top dogs, but instead they are as big a shower of shit as Herpes and the others. Could this have anything to do with an immigrant workforce and a jobs for the boys executive recruitment policy that saw chancers like Andy Burnham in charge? More than likely. Like a lot else we Brits invented, it’s been left to wither on the vine.
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There was a postman a couple of years ago who was shagging somebody’s letterbox and spunking all over the welcome mat. Apparently the letterbox was just the right size for his “delivery”.
He got the sack the dirty bastard.
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They are shit.Shit shit shit.I am waiting for a parcel to return to me.They quoted me 18 days for it to come back but nothing arrived.I keep calling them but to no avail.I might have to make a claim.Bunch of shit weasels.
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Our postie is a whitey immigrant from Kenya. Nice chap, a bit dippy, naive, but honest as the day is long. A couple of years ago he donated one of his kidneys to his black missus. Once she was on her feet again she repaid him by filing for divorce and taking him to the cleaners. They have two daughters who she tried to poison against him but thankfully failed.
He recently got married to a groupie from Ecuador. We await the outcome of this new phase of his life with interest.
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Intriguing!
I look forward to updates.
He certainly has a more varied life than usual.
I wonder if he can petition the courts for a return of all his personal property, including but not limited to, his kidney?
That would wipe the smile of her face.
What a twat!
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Yeah I bet she still has a couple of his happi coats.
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Evening RTC…I was wondering years ago about whether or not organ transplants would work across different races of people, like incompatible blood groups.
My query was answered when, after a series of unlikely coincidences, I received a knob transplant from Linford Christie.
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 😂
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A lot of people think that Postman Plod out of the Viz was just a vaguely funny pastiche.
It was a fucking documentary.
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We have post “wimminz” here.
One of them is a pretty blonde who wears “shorts” that really are.
IsAC’ers would get the horn 👍
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It’s a bit similar to my situation now, CG. When a fit nurse in the dialysis unit take my blood pressure. It always goes higher. The BP increases as well.
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Royal Mail are indeed as stated, a bunch of cunts! Back when I lived in UK I went through a suspicious 2 week dry spell of no mail. Not a fucking thing. Then my neighbours who are both business owners knocked and asked if I’d had any! Postman plod was rumbled! When caught, the boot of his car was stuffed with undelivered mail. The lazy cunts excuse was ‘my deliver route is too long for me’. Punishment? Let off with a warning and told to ask for help in future! Fucking fucking cunts!!
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Collared the said postie this dinnertime (you won’t seem them any earlier than that!). He said it wasn’t him on duty last week (when I know it was), and he gave me this bullshit about how a parcel can be precisely be located from where it was scanned. Funny thing is. it says on their crappy website that it was scanned at my address. There were two parcels, two tracking numbers and two scans. So, basically, two scans were done at my door, yet only one item was delivered. I am not in any condition for vendettas, but I will pursue this wretch – and his cuntish employers to the gates of Hell. And I also have the fucker’s Royal Mail code/ID number. As Foghorn Leghorn used to say ‘Course – ah say – course you know this means war!’
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Saw a RM truck on the motorway the other day emblazoned with the proud statement “16 billion items delivered safely and securely ” should be interested to know the total for lost, stolen, trashed or otherwise misdirected?
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Cheers for the welcome back, Admin. I was in no shape – mentally or physically – to be here late last year and early this year. I was in Salford Royal for quite a bit. But, even though I am still anemic, I have got used to treatment and I felt it was time I came back and put a few cunts in my sights.
(Good to have you back, Norm. But don’t forget to update your will and leave anything of monetary value to me. Cheers! – Day Admin)
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Oh aye… Yesterday I spoke to a bloke at Royal Mail’s sorting office in Prestwich. He said he could precisely track the missing parcel. While I was out, the postie then came to the door and finally admitted to Mrs Norman that he’d fucked up. Pity the cunt didn’t admit it two weeks ago when he dropped a bollock and he could have got the parcel back. He also told the old lady that he delivered it ‘around the corner’. Well, for a start, if my name, address and postcode is on the thing (and it has a fucking tracking number), why bloody do that unless you’re stupid (oh wait, he is!)? But he failed to tell the Mrs which house he delivered it to. So we are still none the wiser to where it ended up. Also, nobody from round the corner has handed anything to us. So it also points to tarry fingered scum thieving cunts who will nick their neighbours mail. As old Adolf said in 1945, ‘Unt shizer! I am surrounded by ze cunts!’
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