Umbrellas during summer are a cunt, or rather the cunts that use them. Once only the purview of Oriental ladies that didn’t care to tan. Now colonial women and foppish blokes/transalphabetanønces as well as Africans (they should be used to the Sun) use them.
As a Banana Jock one quite prefers maximum social distance and one wears a hat to keep the judgemental glare of the brutal life giving Sun from incinerating my half ginger self, but on several occasions one has been whacked in the face by the ribs, tynes, prongs?(not sure) of an umbrella by some cunt that doesn’t have an understanding or care of the Nordo-Gallic sense of space or manners (one has ranted several times over chøccøs that neglect to adapt or even use cutlery properly).
Stop it or one shall thrash you with your ungracious and climactically inappropriate device.
#WeneedHIMGeorgeVback.
Nominated by: Shackledragger cunt
Another inch of material off the skirt of that girl in the header, photo and she would have had another two cheeks to powder. Fuck the umbrella – she is far nicer to look at than the spouse.
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Id be surprised if anyone on ISAC used a umbrella?
Deeply ducky.
They hit me in the face in crowds, women have no spacial awareness. And being tall a umbrella is about level with my eyes.
The typical umbrella user is Mary Poppins.
A utter cunt
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I use a gentleman’s umbrella, fiercesome metal tip. A totally legal deadly weapon if the need arises.
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I use an umbrella when it’s raining, MNC. It’s very useful for this.
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I stay indoors when it rains 🌧 fuck going out and either getting wet or using a ☂️
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The Devils invention!
What’s wrong with a stylish, but jaunty, straw chapeau?
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Surely umbrellas, like hats, wellies and heavy outdoor clothing belong to a bygone era ? In my car it’s comfortable and dry, I listen to the music I like and unlike public transport I only have to tolerate my own BO.
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It’s true that umbrellas are not terribly useful inside cars, arfurbrain. There is not enough space to put them up. They are not even useful in convertibles where they are difficult to hold whilst driving and have a tendency to blow away. But what about when you are outside and not in your car and it’s pissing down?
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Good morning MMCM. Only time I spend outside when it’s raining is when running between the front door and the car. And in the car I’ll drive anywhere, anytime, in any weather,so my aversion to walking doesn’t seriously restrict me. Also, it gives me a nice warm feeling that my life style irritates the green lobby no end.
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Morning arfurbrain.
“Also, it gives me a nice warm feeling that my life style irritates the green lobby no end.”
Amen to that !
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Time was when no self respecting British gentleman would be seen without this thoroughly British accoutrement. Handy also for prodding the coolies.
Now they have been adopted by wrong sorts who are not properly versed in the proper and correct use of an umbrella and who don’t know the difference between a coolie and a punkah wallah.
Impertinent and insufferable cunts.
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In case any of you don’t know the difference between a coolie and a punkah wallah (which I find difficult to believe), a coolie is an effnik dogsbody. At a pinch they can also be used as a handy footstool. A punkah wallah is the effnik that operates the fan. Neither should ever be allowed to wield an umbrella.
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I wouldn’t trust the cunt with a fan either. And why use an effnik as a footstool, it’d make your feet smell.
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Good point, Moggie. I had been wondering why my feet were getting a bit smelly.
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I beg to differ slightly. The punkah wallah may well be competent to hold the umbrella for the sahib should an umbrella wallah be AWOL. However it is inadvisable to order him to perform both functions simultaneously.
As regards the deployment of umbrellas in summer, this is clearly the mark of a cad and a bounder – possibly of an homosexualist. The only acceptable implement then is a parasol, but only to prevent the unwanted tanning of white womenfolk. In all other circumstances it is frowned on at the Club.
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Good points Komodo.
I have also noticed that oriental despots favour large parasols carried by underlings to protect them from the sun. No doubt Putin will adopt one shortly.
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Sorry to be a pedant, but surely “summer umbrella” is a misnomer? If it’s to protect against the sun, it’s a parasol.
I’ll get my coat…..
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Sorry, I really ought to have read the thread before expounding.
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Is she or isn’t she
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A tranny?
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Well, I’ve zoomed in a few times and still not sure
I like to think not, unless it’s a tranny.
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While studying the photo in high magnification while wearing my reading glasses Infy, I happen to have noticed her left arse cheek is visible. Edge of her left areola may also be visible but can’t swear to that; my eyes seem to have become strained somehow.
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Didn’t even get to the aureola
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The question was is she commando or not.
I agree there is cheeky bit of cheek visible, nice 😉
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What is a “banana jock?”
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Maybe a Scotsman born in Africa ?
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Nice upskirt pic admin! I thought that was now a criminal offence? It don’t look that offensive to me.
The pic was in the public domain when I found it, so I reckon we’re OK. Glad you enjoyed it – NA.
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Can anyone smell haddock?
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Wish I could.
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Umbrellas, like macs, are great on a good looking bird, providing she is nude underneath. (slightly adapted from Dylan Thomas’ comment about USA)
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I want an umbrella Like the Joker had in Batman – it fired bullets, poison gas and made a passable duelling sword!
Excellent – but Miss busty says I aren’t allowed one as I am apparently “a dangerous maniac with anger management issues” (the cheeky mare!) – I told her firmly that I have my bad points as well! 😀
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Stuff umbrellas, I’m getting the start of a horn thinking about fire extinguishers and green bins for some reason…..
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Bet she could make that fire extinguisher vanish.
Gerrup!
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