ITV’s Middle Aged Children

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ITV and it’s disturbing array of middle aged children.

Ant & Dec. There is something unsettling about these fuckers. Knocking 50, they look like kids with weirdly old faces?
Some cunt called Stephen Mulhearn. He is 44 and looks 12.
Ben Shepherd. Another 12 year old who is 47.

Does ITV have some sort of plastic surgeon specialising in creating man/child weirdos?

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

44 thoughts on “ITV’s Middle Aged Children”

  1. That pair of gonads Ant and Dec resemble a pair of extras from Time Bandits.

    I reckon it is a lack of testosterone resulting in this manchild phenomenon. Or it could be an excess of oestrogen. My first check would be the ITV drinking fountain.

    All the above are copper-bottomed cunts in any case, so a worthy nomination.

    • Arse bandits – Spac and Bent.
      Santander Bank, go fuck, along with HSBC. and Richard EI Addio, and Barclays, with Olivia the alpha-male gorilla.
      Morning all!

    • I don’t know the plastic surgeon, but bidned is rubbing his legs.

      you know the unelected one

      • I always thought that McPartlin was wearing a mask anyway!
        Fuck off … he doesn’t really look like that does he?

  2. Oven for these two unfunny cunts, and willoughby too, after I have torn her arsehole and growler senseless, that’s all, morning isac, morning all

  3. It’s not plastic surgery or tranny changing surgery. The answer is much simpler – it’s make-up, duckies, love it they do, all these theatricals – the men perhaps even more than the wimminz who like to look haggard these days – the “Helen Mirren look” is in, dahlings. Though they are given a good seeing-ro (comsetically) by the make-up girls they have a big mirror in their dressing tooms to touch themselves up (same with Starmer, but he hasMandy and Wes Screeching to touch him up).

    I once saw a very famous TV actor on a train – and it was only because a friend told me who he was I recognised him. On TV he looks flawless, but in real life he looks worse than AnalEase (if that is possible).

    I have often wondered with Ant & Dec if they are fruity gentlemen, despite the wives and high profile divorces.

    • Ask uncle Phil, he knows all about closet bandits, but not about male studio production runners who like vagina..allegedly

    • Fruity? That would explain what they meant when they sang “watch us wreck the Mike”

      • FMC@ – Well, that will teach Michelle Obama for visiting the ITV studios! 😀

      • Stood next to Sharon Stone on a LA flight not a stitch of makeup looked fabulous she must be 6 foot at least. Helen Mirren isn’t bad in the flesh for a women in her 70s.

      • smugcunt@ – Yes she is – utterly plain, average and unnoticeable in real life – and a nasty little cunt as well.

  4. Viz uses ‘Ant & Dec’ in their Profanisaurus as a descriptor for a flat chested woman – ie, ‘a small pair of tits’

    Whilst they are undoubtedly a pair of cunts (you’ve only got to see the amount of shit TV awards they’ve got), I’d probably have trusted these two near my kids, rather than that wizened old nonce weirdo Saville & his children’s bum-hole fingering habits.

  5. I reckon Mulhearn is another Schofield.
    As for Cunt and Dick..,.. nothing needs to be said.
    Good morning, gentlemen. 👍

    • JTC@ – Evening Squire – that little Mulhern fellow was dabbling Holly Willoughby for a while (when she was worth having her whiskers nudged, she has not aged well!) – the dirty little fker!
      Then a Man appeared and said “hey – Willoughby – look at the size of my wallet” and off she went..

  6. Years ago, I read that these two talentless cunts were to receive lifetime Awards for their contributions to the entertainment industry.
    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    They were only in their late 20’s / early 30’s at that point!
    And their contributions?

    -Playing two cunts in a kiddies show about Geordie chavs

    -Playing at pop stars with quite possibly, the worst song/lyrics of all time:

    “Grab the mic-phsyk!”😂😂

    -Producing a “Happy shopper” version of the “Likely Lads” football result episode 👎

    For fucks sake-what sort of meritable contribution is that?

    Still, at least they are White, which is a rarity on TV.🤔

  7. Everyone knows TV is plagued by rampant Homosexualists and the specimens already mentioned surely must be in that Pride Parade.

    Just show repeats of Its A Knockout instead.

    • ….but not Eddie Windsor’s diabolical version.

      Having said that….

      Prince Andrew is the natural successor to Stuart Hall and he will need a new income, to pay Big Ears back the 12M£.

  8. TV viewers like their slebs to look 12 because it reflects their own mental age. We are a nation of Peter Pans, afraid to grow up in the “ nasty, cwuel raycist” world.

    Cunts. Ukraine front, now.

    • I heard some spaz on the wireless last night going on about how he was leaving Scotland to go and fight in Ukraine. Why are over a million of the fuckers leaving Ukraine without fighting? Ukrainian refugees coming to a street near you. By the way, they are generally very unpleasant and vile people – they were killing the jews and ethnic poles long before the Germans invaded. The worst death camp guards were Ukrainians – Ivan the terrible anyone.

      • Although I am a supporter of independence I cringe when I see some of the Scots who do this kind of thing. They seem to think they´re representing Scotland when all they´re doing is something to jazz up their pitiful lives.
        Two guys who were giving lifts in their truck to Ukrainians fleeing to Poland were stopped by border police. One asked: “Are you from England?” and the answer was “No. We´re from Scotland.” The policemen then said, “Celtic or Rangers?” This bilge appeared prominently in the Scottish media as if to proclaim “Wha´s like us?” A feeble piece of banter that shows Scotland is not know abroad for its inventors, explorers, entrepreneurs etc. but for two tribal football teams.

  9. Let’s do a swap. We’ll take these two and you can have the perpetually annoying and Hamish and Andy ( just when you think they’ll never appear again, there they are) As for the agelessness, that’s most likely from the fresh blood transfusions and organ transplants of refugees. Not a particularly bad thing as it reduces the effects of one problem.

    • Theres a Geordie presenter on GBnews who looks like a 12yr old Peewee Herman.

      Genuinely thought it was a kid at first.

      This stems from everyoung pop sensation Cliff Richards.
      For 50years his face has remained unblemished.

      Although his neck looks like a window cleaners rag…

    • There will never be a shortage of refugees in this country, that’s one thing you can bank on. Be grateful that Ant and Dec aren’t Abdul and Mo. You haven’t heard of them yet but they’re out there somewhere.

  10. ‘How do they look so good for their age?’ The tabloids always ask of these show biz types. It’s not just the makeup, they’ve never done a days proper work in their lives, so that certainly helps. But it’s not just the unnerving youthful looks, it’s the childish demeanour of some of them. Bouncing around and giggling at other peoples misfortune like 12 year olds usually. And this is, it would seem, top level televisual entertainment nowadays.

  11. Those two Geordie fuckers are indeed a pair of bellends but for those who like to watch Saturday night drivel, I suppose they’re good at what they do.
    As to their freaky looks, just a matter of time before they look like the Palermo mummies.

  12. Unfortunately, it is the infantilisation of the watching public which demands the presenters act like children. I also couldn’t believe that BBC had devoted an hour of primetime TV to that mong Harvey Price. You’ll now get all the feeble minded (usually women) feeling sorry for Price senior. It’s going to be Jade Goody all over again.

  13. Ant McPartlin, half man, half Klignon. If all else fails, he could get a job as an extra in ‘Star Trek’.

    Morning all.

    • Or using his big forehead as advertising space, the drunken driving cunt

  15. Just googled mulhearn as didn’t know who he was.
    Wish I hadn’t now.

  17. They are providing what the audience of middle age children want.
    Imbeciles performing for imbeciles – forty somethings who still live with Mummy and Daddy in their rainbow unicorn clown world.
    One of many, many reasons I do not generally waste time with television – propaganda, deviancy and bullshit for an audience with the IQ of a pea.

  19. You can tell the Piss Head one is craving for the end credits so he can get on it and I bet he wishes that the little one would get caught in some Gents Bogs sucking off a Tramp to destroy his squeaky clean image.! Can Saturday night viewing get any worse.? Flur (Huge Ass) East is worth a good seeing to though.!

  20. Ant Decathalone? He was a total cunt before he had pubic hair under his nose. Cunt!

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