Not So Smart Meters
As most of us expected, the push to have consumers take on energy smart meters because we’re told it will help us with our usage, is just one big marketing con!
It seems that these things will be another form of Big Brother, and that we will be monitored/measured about our daily usage, and charged more for peak hour activity.
The clickbait focuses on net-zero bollocks, and that overall “the consumer will be better off”. But we know that’s utter and complete bollocks; it is more to do with the government’s lack of foresight about supplying this country with enough fuel supplies via fossil fuels and natural gas in its wet dream to be first to reach net zero by 2050!
So if you’re working from home, or unemployed, retired, in care, whatever, then you’re going to face higher bills for peak time activity. And if you have an electric car with domestic charger, you may also face higher charges because the definition of “peak times” hasn’t been officially defined. You would think this would be 6am to 10am and 3pm to 8pm, but even if it was to begin with suppliers could always shift the goal posts wider in order to grab more money out of you.
This doesn’t as yet affect people who only have old fashioned meters, but don’t be surprised of smart meters become mandatory and a condition whenever you sign up to a new contract!
We are fucked again thanks to a fucking idiotic government and its green thinking (or lack of)
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2022/02/08/smart-meter-overhaul-open-gates-surge-pricing/
Nominated by Technocunt
With further musings by Mikdys:
Smart Meters – supporting the Net Zero bollox.
Net Zero UK is a world of pain with no gain. Even if achievable it won’t make a blind bit of difference to the planet but it will cause untold pain and misery for millions.
Smart Meters are a part of it all, increasing your costs or throttling your electricity supply at times of peak demand (because there won’t be enough to go around and, even if there were to be, the Electricity Grid couldn’t support charging 17 million electric cars!).
Thanks Boris and a special mention to your good lady – us plebs know our place 🙇
Does the Queen or Boris have to use one?
More control is all this is. Not at all about saving anything. That’s just the lie to make us willingly comply.
It looks small enough to fit up the ass of whoever thought of it though. That’s good.
12
wot you all miss is these cunts hijack YOUR BANDWIDTH from YOUR INTERNET to communicate said violating privacy rights back to homebase.
PROPER CUNTS eh?
8
I have always refused to have one. Was told you need a different metre for a different supplier if you switch. If i put the kettle on I know i’m using electric and don’t need a fucking metre to tell me. CUNTS!
23
When I was on a ‘green’ tariff with Eon a couple of years ago, they sent me texts, sometimes 3 or 4 a days, telling me I HAD to have a smart meter fitted, BY LAW. I ignored them for months even though they kept trying to get me to make an appointment to have one fitted. Eventually I got fed up, told them specifically to fuck off and changed supplier.
6
I have exactly this situation occurring now.
I’ll ignore it until they send the armoured car and riot police.
Not much of a plan I know
3
I think this might be the answer to smart meters:
https://hyundaipowerequipment.co.uk/hyundai-dhy8000selr-t-6kw-3-phase-silenced-long-run-diesel-generator?bcndyn=d2lkOjQyMnxjaWQ6NTM3&gad_id=285623872758&utm_campaign=Google&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqtqDjpaT9gIV0uvtCh0HmQlsEAQYAiABEgJvPPD_BwE
7
Smart meters are for dumb users.
Like everything else called “smart” we are conned into believing it’s better for us. The opposite is true. Smart motorways kill, smart meters make your domestic bills higher and smart phones take over your life and turn you into a vegetable looking at Twatter all day.
I read in the Telegraph this morning that “Smart Homes” are more vulnerable because when there’s a power cut everything fails and the “smart home” becomes a “ dumb home”.
Smart cunts.
21
I have a smart house. When I click a switch, something comes on, genius.
3
I won’t have anything ‘smart’, the stuff of Big Brother.
No electric smart meter.
No smart phone.
And I would never drive on a smart motorway. These death traps need a cunting of their own.
13
When a Government tells me that something is good for me. It isn’t
31
I’d been hassled by my supplier for nigh on a year to have one installed. I’m not fucking interested because I know that somewhere along the line I’m going to get shafted. I didn’t have a choice with my water meter because, we were told, we are in a depleted water area ( I live less than two miles from the Thames ffs ) and the cunts came on to my property, without my permission, to fit the fucker when nobody was at home. Mind you, I’ve actually saved money so far. That’ll fucking change though. Cunts the lot of them.
13
I rented a house that was already fitted with a water meter and I was somewhat worried. I needn’t have been. Our water bill (for the 2 of us) went from over £600 pa to around £250. When we moved into this house I had meters fitted and it’s about the same.
2
Same here. We had a water meter installed in 2015 and our water bills were halved.
2
Yes, we had the same experience. In our previous house built in 1985 our water was not metered. when we moved to our present house built in 1997 we were concerned to find that the water was metered. However our water bills were considerably lower. Can’t knock it!
2
The days of anything SMART in this country are long past…apart from Contributions on this splendid forum….🇬🇧
21
The concept is fine but in reality it’s balls.
Each provider uses it’s own meter and tell you with breathless enthusiasm that it will not work if you dare to switch suppliers.
The other thing that really gets me is that even if you have these things that cunt still bangs at your door to read the meter…what the fuck for you unemployable cunt as you case my house for what you can rob when I’m out working. They even use mild threats…this is a man who reads meters and has the same authority as a person who works in Greggs.
Morrisons Data Services can suck my cock and suck it good, I don’t let the cunt in…I say I’m on a confidential conference call.
14
I went for a job with these wankers. At the interview I was asked were there any periods I could not work. Yes says I my daughters wedding weekend and our anniversary weekend, gave dates etc. Apparently that made me a bully WTF?
The tart who had forwarded my name for consideration had a right pop at me. I told her a few home truths about the management structure and the cunt who was the regional manager. Had dealings with that particular arsewipe previously. I let slip his previous employer sacked him for fiddling his expenses. (OH DEAR )
Don’t get mad get even.
11
Oh, I do like that one Cunty. Good for you!
3
And… Returning to the loathsome EVs, the energy companies can use plugged-in cars to AUGMENT the grid in times of shortage.
So… Charge your car from a diesel genny… Might as well just carry on driving on carbon fuel. Christ, I really hate what the world is becoming.
13
Someone we know, a silly cow with a smug husband who think they’re richer than the rest of the street has a Tesla and another hybrid car. They strut around thinking their better than everyone with their sense of entitlement, doing their bit for the environment, I just wanna scratch their car up with some keys and see how that rolls.
Someone should invent meters that women wear as watches so the bitches can see how much money they spunk buying shite on a daily basis – now that would be a smart meter…
11
When you see the ‘readings sent every 30 minutes’ you know it’s got nothing to with saving money and all about scamming the maximum amount of money from consumers.
How the fuck can people switch away from peak times, maybe just watch TV from midnight to 6 am with a few cups of coffee to keep you awake.
This is all about government control, these things were ‘sold’ on helping the consumer, no more manual readings and people could see where they were using electricity (like people didn’t know when the switch a light on it uses electricity)
All the cunts who signed up to smart meters need to be cunted, fucking idiots.
Email to Boris, ‘when is it ok for me to put the kettle on’ Ofgem are supposed to be looking out for consumers not devolving power to suppliers to dictate what they charge for a pot of tea.
12
Never got one, I don’t trust the buggers in charge.
Next thing will be turning off your leccy remotely. Someone on here already mentioned kill switches in electric cars controlled remotely. Slowly but surely we are being drawn into their web…. And I can’t remember it being on any manifesto.
10
It’s not going to matter what meter you have, before long it’s going to be sitting idle as we won’t be able to afford what little gas is average thanks to those subhuman Russian cunts.
6
Fortunately the UK’s reliance on Russia for gas is less than 5%.
Unlike other European countries – North Macedonia (100% reliant), Finland (94%), Bulgaria (74%), Slovakia (70%), Germany (49%), Italy (46%), Poland (40%), and France (24%)
8
Yes at the moment the Ukranian and Russian commanders are giving their inspirational talk to their respective soldiers-‘You might not realise this but when you go out there in your uniforms singing patrotics songs on this military stage you are going to change so many young people’s lives.’
A bit like the other night night when Ant and Dec dressed up in Drag-
‘While I was doing Dec’s make-up I said to him: ‘You might not realise this, but when you go out there in drag and you do this song on a mainstream stage it’s going to change so many young queer children’s lives’. And he totally got it,” said Ellis.’
Hail victory!
6
Putin will be taking meter readings today, I wonder when the government will finally start investing HEAVILY in Nuclear, gas and oil.
The promise of one new nuclear project by the end of this Parliament is a joke and let’s get fracking.
8
I wish it were that simple. A massive shortfall in the market availability will drive up unit cost as affected countries scramble for alternative suppliers, and I don’t know if there is scope for additional demand.
Plus, we are partially reliant on electricity from France, who will have to rely on electricity for heating etc, and I’m sure their extra demand will cause a shortfall in power available for export.
We don’t get our oil from tem, but the price of fuel has risen in response to the crisis.
Global economy eh?
8
Is that so? Then why has price of gas gone from 4.5 p/Kwh in september to 17p/Kwh?
5
Why? Because this crisis has been going on for months today’s invasion of Ukraine is just another level. Controversy over the Nord 2 pipeline bypassing certain countries kicked off around then, with Germany dithering over its actions regarding it. Today, they cancelled it, so it’s not looking good.
6
Trouble is Ruff, we may not be heavily reliant on Russian gas but our own gas will be sold via the interconnectors to Europe if a higher price pertains there. That is until the price here rises to match those in Europe.
1
Putin will have to consider his actions once he realises the extent of the response of the World
The US will attempt to cancel his online status
The UK will unfriend him
The French will go into hiding
Africa will remain scratching its arse
The Scots will demand another referendum
Islington will blame Brexit
15
“Ra Ra Vlad Putin
Russia’ greatest drama queen”
– Boney M
“Oh those Russians”
8
I had one of the first ones, wouldn’t work on the gas, signal wouldn’t pass through walls. Sat there for a couple of months til the batteries went flat. Forgot it existed, been in a cupboard for years. Total waste of time……
5
“We noticed your online opinion did not meet with our national provision and diversity standards. Should you continue to have your own opinion we will have no choice but to restrict you electricity use until you have agreed to sign a confession”.
Think it won’t happen?
Ask the people who donated financially to the Canadian Freedom convoy who are having their homes raided and their businesses closed by “Canadian police, not UN mercenaries flown in by Justin Trudeau, at all”.
And I had the great pleasure of informing some screeching Karen from British Gas that if anyone unlawfully trespassed on my property to fit something I did not want and did not need they would need an ambulance.
Who the FUCK do these people think they are?
No – not now, not ever.
No.
19
Hehe, Vern you are already on the Red list, when the state ‘takes control’ you will be the first to disappear into a very dark basement 😂
8
Soi@ – And never was there a more deserving type – I am awful!
Methinks they will be on MY red list in the future..
“I hereby, at gunpoint, elect Vernon Stalin Strangelove to be the Great Leader of everything, innit”! 😀
8
Good for you Vernon! More of us should tell these people where to fucking go.
3
Arfurbrain@ – Evening Squire, I used to work as a utilities broker and British Gas (how can I put this without getting in a tone of legal shit?) are “not perceived to be the most honest energy supplier”.
I was with a charitable branch of Nottinghamshire Council called Robin Hood energy – cheap prices, good service and any profits went to various (legitimate – I checked before signing up) local good causes.
It went belly up because the funding got pulled, and I was switched against my will to British Gas – bills doubled overnight and they seemed to “forget” I had emailed them and told them to stick their “service” where the sun don’t shine – even after I left I would get texts and then calls demanding I have a meter fitted – I recorded several staff lying saying it was a legal requirement when it is not, and then gave them the hard word.
They backed off – which was wise – I have “something of a temper” when people try and take the piss! 😀
I am with Octopus Energy now – cheap, great service and good prices – highly recommended.
1
The UK could be energy independent and lead the world in clean, cheap electricity and gas if we went hydroelectric.
So why aren’t we?
7
Hydroelectric isn’t green and Norway have blown a dam because it was fucking up the environment.
Take a look at all the ‘interventions’ into the natural flow of rivers around the world and the environmental impacts, it is enormous.
5
Soi@ Afternoon Soi – agreed 100% with the dam thing – daft, unnecessary and ruinous environmentally – just stick hydro generating stations on the rivers – no interruption to water flow, basic, proven technology, dirt cheap to install and run and use electrolysis to generate hydrogen, a perfect green fuel for homes, businesses and vehicles.
It is the way forward, and what I always like to do is act as my own “Devils advocate” and put as many things in the way as possible so they can be sorted and I can be 100% confident it works, is practical and doable – “stress test the idea in real life”, as it were. (Built my own mini version – it works).
And from my lifetime experience of “sunny Yorkshire” we ain’t running out of rain anytime soon!
3
When I told my energy company that I didn’t want a smart meter installed, they responded by asking me to provide meter readings every two minutes (slight exaggeration) till I told them to fucking stop it.
Smart meters are for their benefit, not ours.
8
@Vern, good idea to put in your own mini hydro generator, you will be going full green if you invest in a ground source heat pump, using your mini hydro gen to run it. 👍
5
‘Smart’ everything is a cunt!
5
Good cunting this. My supplier keeps bugging me to have one of these fuckers and deploys some very questionable tactics. The last letter I had stated that my old meter was almost obsolete and implying that if I wanted a reliable electricity supply I would have to have a smart meter. They also keep bugging me for a meter reading. Why don’t you come and read the meter yourselves, you lazy fucking cunts? I live in a retirement complex – I have never seen my meter and have no idea where it is, probably locked away in a cupboard somewhere. And there is no way the suppliers would have such an aggressive sales campaign if it didn’t mean more money for them.
8
It may be that being in a complex means that you couldn’t actually have a smart meter, depends where the meters are located.
3
From memory it’s about 25 metres. Just tell the energy company the meter is too far away.
2
No more meter readers smart move for your dealer.These chaps used to wear a uniform! Will get reminders in the post, in a similar way to if you don’t possess a T.V. licence, but unlike the telly, you don’t legally have to have one. Had a lot of bad press, since it’s introduction. May have gone through some inprovments, but can’t think of anything postive on the side of the consumer, who also has to pay for the electric to run the fucking thing! So another smart move. Not having one. Just send meter readings. No real bother there.
6
For anyone who’s getting the smart meter hard sell, and has the money, you can have installed, at your own cost, your own meter, and so long as it’s one listed in this document:
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/857025/Schedule_4_-_7th_January_2020.pdf
There’s not a lot the supply companies can say or do about it, other than hit you with manual reading processing charges.
Incidentally, I was told they’ll try and force smart readers by removing all the others from thIs Schedule 4 approval list, as it’s easier to do that on the fly for ‘technical reasons(unspecified)’ than it is for them to try getting a change in the law to mandate the buggers.
The other thing to watch for is the certification period, if your meter has been on the wall longer than the certification period listed, they’ll try to replace it with a smart one, if you get bolshie about the smart bit, they’ll say it’s operating in ‘dumb mode’, but unless you see them physically remove the modem board I’d be skeptical about how ‘dumb’ the fucker actually is.
3
Agree with your last point Comrade. A few years ago my employer had trackers installed on the company cars. A switch was fitted in the car which supposedly enabled you to disconnect the tracker when you were using the car privately. Being a cynical bastard I resolved to test this feature. On a Sunday morning when I was travelling on the M40 to visit my folks I went up to 100mph for a while. Sure enough on Monday morning my boss was on the phone moaning, telling me my speed, location and time despite the fact I had the tracker set to “private”.
5
RIP Gary Brooker, Procol Harum, 76, of cancer.
Anybody have him in DP?
1
The TV adverts pushing smart meters rely heavily on giving the consumer a display illustrating how much power you are using at any given moment. I haven’t seen one but I bet it’s the usual brightly coloured moving lights with not a hint of any units of measurement. Your bill gives you a price per Kilowatt hour. When you know that a Kilowatt hour is 3.6 MegaJoules and there are 4.2 Joules in a Calorie, working out your costs is quite literally maths at junior school level.
4
People in my house have smart watches.
What is smart about a watch that needs charging?
I got bought one as a present a while back.
I gave it away a couple of months later.
Smart watch?
Dumb watch more like.
3
Bollocks bollocks bollocks to the Jellyfish and his horse faced bint
1
The reason they want every home to have a smart meter is because your supply can be cut-off remotely, No need to go to court for an unpaid bill and get a disconnection order from a judge to get access to the meter on YOUR property, simply flick the switch and boom, No ‘leccy’ for you.
1
Oh, and to add.
YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO ACCEPT A SMART METER.
But be warned, lots of companies are changing terms and conditions to add that you need to accept one, so be wary of changing supplier, that fucking website uswitch is a joke, I changed years ago and was told I would save £400 a year, turns out I didn’t save a fucking penny, Npower simply sent the first 2 bills as estimates, and over the year it turned out I used roughly the same KW/h and paid about £12 less than my previous supplier.
Also the leccy companies are trying to force smart meters by claiming your old meter is at it’s end of life and you have to have a smart meter, that’s bullshit.
1