Heseltine (9) and Brexit

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Heseltine is a cunt of the highest order.

I refuse to call him Lord. That title is limited to our one and only Lord Fiddler.

Heseltine is a coffin-dodging cunt.

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You never won anything apart from your seat in the HoC. Whichever cunt elevated you to the HoL is also a cunt. You are a cunt because you are an authoritarian. You are a cunt because you are a failure.

Micky Heseltine, you are a cunt, you cunt.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt

85 thoughts on “Heseltine (9) and Brexit”

  2. A Horrible remoaning, Quisling ,pro EU ,anti democracy Cunt who will get me down the pub the day he dies for a celebratory pint and that day cannot come soon enough.

    Not only will he be dead but we can stop paying his ministerial pension which will be a fucking heap of cash

  4. Why is this treacherous old bastard not dead yet? If it was up to me cunt would have met his maker years, even decades, ago.

  5. Nice Cunting Dark key. I just love this twat (not). If there were ever a politician who should be put through a mincer, then its this one!. Pro EU, Pro Republican, and as bent as a nine pound note. As the Prime architect of Thatcher’s downfall, he receives no good wishes each Xmas from her devoted fans.
    May the cunt have a massive coronary! And bags I the twat in the deadpool !

  6. I honestly though that this cunt had retired into obscurity in the late 90s, early 2000s after Labour came in, but he lurched forward after the Brexit vote came in at 52% and he has been skulking about like a Primark security guard ever since. Beat it ye, floppy-haired creepy cunt!

  7. I thought he was amazing, swinging through the jungle from tree to tree, only his faithful chimp as a friend.

    He was never cut out for the concrete jungle and should be returned to his natural habitat immediately.

    Free Tarzan

    • Of course he was made for the concrete jungle but it should have been as part of one of the supports for a flyover.

  8. You were elevated to the HoL so you’d have somewhere quiet for your after breakfast, after lunch and after dinner naps, so fuck off back to sleep, you daft pointless waste of a skin.

  9. I can do no better than quote Galton & Simpson’s words of Harold to describe old Heseltine:

    “You are a dyed-in-the-wool, fascist, reactionary, squalid little, ‘know your place’, ‘don’t rise above yourself’, ‘don’t get out of your hole’ – complacent little turd. You are morally, spiritually and physically a festering fly-blown heap of accumulated filth.”

    And his underwear probably stinks as much as AnalEase Dodd’s bloomers as well

  11. I see him as the UK equivalent to Bernie fucking Sanders on this side of the pond.
    Another piece of excrement that won’t flush.

  12. He was a cunt under Thatcher when he swung the mace around the House. He’s still a cunt. He’s on the wrong side of every argument. Cunt.

    • I forgot about that! He’s an mong. What’s he ever done for Britain except steal our money and look like a Belgian sex-cult leader?

      • Wasn’t it tarzan who cancelled our nascent ballistic missile, satellite and space programmes to invest in Concorde, a colossal white elephant vanity project?

        He sounds like a cunt when he speaks too.

      • The technical achievements we’re incredible for the time and even now.

        But it was a colossal commercial failure. The government’s investment was never recouped but cunts like Hezza predicted huge demand and we wouldn’t be able to build them fast enough whilst simultaneously predicting there was no commercial future in space. The oil shock of 1973 didn’t help.

  13. I remember that Tory Party conference speech when attackjng the Labour Party for becoming hard left he stood on one leg and like marching but not ‘left, right, left’ right..’ but ‘Left, left, left, left, left…and him hopping on one foot. Ffs.Such political theatre. He was the ‘darling’ of the Tory Party then

  14. “Billionaire landowner Heseltine wants to stay in the EU to guarantee millions a year in free money and endless Eastern European slave labour”..
    Why do people like this continue to annoy me by not dying?

  15. I can’t be arsed looking it up, but I remember hearing he has interests in the EU (was it property or business or both?) and he loses loads since we’re ‘out’.

    I don’t doubt for a second it’s all about himself and coin.

    I’d respect him if he said that.

    As it is, he can get fucked.

    Stabbed Maggie Thatcher in the back, the snidey cunt.

    • Cuntybollocks@ – Yep, and Heseltine has always been in the background demanding that HIS subsidies continue.
      Because, with a net worth in the region of 1.2 billion he clearly needs all the money he can get..
      As tenant farmers with NOTHING are crucified by the supermarkets.

      • Is he worth as much as that? Isn’t it more like 250 million? He’s in the top 500 richest cunts in Britain, that’s for sure. Go and enjoy life, ye old cunt, there must be OTHER Epstein islands out there…

      • I’m sure you’re right Vernon.

        If he was honest I’d have more respect for him. It’s the slimy way he tries to make out he’s a man of the fucking people, the fucking joker.

        I’d respect him if he just said:

        “I don’t like these foreign types as much as the next man, but I’ve got business interests in the EU and stand to lose millions because of Brexit. Therefore, to protect my wealth…no not yours you cunts, MINE, I’m going to try and get us back in the EU by hook or by crook. I couldn’t give a fuck about any of you cunty plebs either. Fuck off.”

      • I remember back in the 80s or 90s, that he was quite proud about how he kept suppliers waiting for their money (I think he was something in printing). There are only a few people I would wish an immediate exit from this mortal coil, and he is one of them. He’ll be in the depths of Hell with Blair and a few others.

    • He runs a very large (several hectares) collection of trees, which he regards as an arboreum and as such got money from the EU C.A.P. (Common Agricultutral Policy) – but this tree growing is a hobby – he is no more a farmer than I am a Kentish Town shepherd.

      That I think is what fucked him off so much. I imagine in the case of Mandy & Adonis it was the lack of teenagers.

  16. They wheeled out this rent-a-remoaner dinosaur to dribble on the radio a few days ago. Don’t worry cunters, he’s not long for this world. He sounded like he could croak at any moment.
    He needs to be put in secure accommodation for the terminally deranged with A C Grayling as his cellmate.

    • He and Grayling must go to the same hairdresser. “Morning, George, give me the “creepy wizard” look as usual.”

      • Evening Cunty Gordon,
        Im watching a film about some bloke called Oliver Crumbell.
        And its that black fella you were on about!!
        Richard Harris.
        Hes got a right temper hasn’t he?

        Probably hits the bottle?
        But as well as smashing windows and stealing signs,
        Hes had a king killed!
        😧😦
        This king was dead nice as well,
        Reminded me of Obi wan Kenobi.

        To kill a king back in the day was akin to telling God to fuck off.
        A big deal
        Not like now where nobody would care.

        He cant stop shouting!
        He’ll end up dead if he doesn’t calm down.

      • No, that’s “classic” Casuality you’re watching. Delusional patients every episode, and so much blood!
        Shocking, why doesn’t it have a warning? Fainthearted people may actually faint if they watch.

    • Aye and from where I now sit I can see the very rooftops of the old Matrix-Churchill works (Iragi ‘supergun’ bollocks) What a cunt!

      Heseltine? – Liverpool ‘pathway’ fer you me laddy-oh.

  19. I comfort myself that the cunt is tortured every single day by his own knowledge that he was never good enough to step into Maggie Thatcher’s shoes.

    • Spot on Paul, that’s the nub of it right there.

      Always been on the losing side when it really mattered and he suffered his biggest most public defeat to a woman when it really still was a man’s world.

      How that must hurt when you’ve spent your other life running businesses where you’ve got the advantage of having the final say.

      Far be it from me to suggest Tarzan was a bully but something tells me he likes to get his own way.

      Why can’t he just retire with some dignity, why can’t he just accept that he’s yesterday’s man and be embarrassed that the press want to wheel him out (literally) as a failed and massively passed it talking head?

      I don’t care whether he’s continent, or has capacity or dribbles when eating but I do care that he thinks he’s still relevant.

      Total lack of self awareness and zero humility

  20. Like most Lords, he’s a cunt. Either a pædoh like Lord Achmed or a fucking liar like Lord Archer.

  21. Boats sailed on Brexit the sooner he gets his head around it the better it’s called democracy 👍👍

  23. It’s not a question of wether the UK want to rejoin. It’s a question of if they’d have us back.
    We can vote to rejoin until we’re all blue in the face, but if 1 country says Non, Nein, Niet ( OK, I threw that one in for shits and giggles), then that’s it, end of debate.

      • What dosh, we’re more than fucking bankrupt, we’re on our arse.
        That’s why they’ve upt NI, removed the triple lock, frozen personal tax free allowance, let energy suppliers have free rein, I could go on, but whose pocket is this coming out off?
        Not the upper 5%, for fucking sure!

      • At the time the UK left we were contributing approx 12 billion euros a year to the EU coffers, we were the second highest net contributing member state.

        Germany currently contributes net approx 20 billion euros p.a. so if we wanted to rejoin they would expect our contribution to be at least 15 billion net annually if not more.

        Anyway, even now we’re still pouring billions into the EU thanks to the appalling “oven ready deal” Johnson signed us up to in 2019.

    • I think all of them want us back, due to the huge financial black hole that we left that gets to be picked up by ‘the frugals’.

      The only issue would be the punitive terms the EU would dictate:

      1. We have to accept as many dinghy pirates as they see fit.

      2. Germany gets to park its military on every base, air field and dock in the UK.

      3. Gina Miller has to be made Queen for her services to the fourth Reich.

      4. All underpasses, park benches, bus shelters and that spot next to the cash machine in the High Street now belong to the Euro pie keys. Not buying a two month old copy of the ‘Beeg ishoo’ is punishable with five years in an EU funded diversity re-education camp. In Ukraine.

      5. French has to be the new national language.

      6. They are allowed to cut off the gas and electric at any time. Just for a bit of a laugh.

      7. Referendums and voting in general will be outlawed.
      We got it wrong once and are not getting the opportunity to do it again. For our own good.

      8. Anything jingoistic will be seen as a hate crime.
      Mentioning two world wars and one world cup, Trafalgar, Waterloo, Agincourt or any other trouncing doled out to foreign cunts is punishable by death.

      9. We have to adopt the Euro. With Gina Miller, Tony Blair, Hesletine and Theresa May all getting top spot on the high value bills.

      They hate us and always have.

  24. Heseltine, a self serving, remoaning leach sucking on the hope of a return to his golden tit and treacle stick, the EU. How can I summarise Heseltine: Cunt, Twat, Wanker, Arsehole, EU prostitute. Wish the cunt would do us all a favour, just fuck off and die you bastard.

    • Bound to fall off the perch soon, DLP.
      Have you seen him, corpse material for sure.
      Deadpool candidate.

    • Is it just me or has there been a fresh influx of Cunters to the site?

      Welcome one n’ all, with so many cunts and so little time we need all the help we can get!

  25. Often touted as the next prime minister in the late 80s, but he was never as popular as he thought he was. Alan Clarke regarded him as a slippery bastard, and clearly so did many other Tory’s, as he failed abysmally in the 1990 leadership contest. Another MP who’s world view only extended as far as his own interests.

    • It’s cunts like Heseltine who give credence to the David Icke theories about powerful people.

  26. **Joke Warning-the following may TRIGGER those who have donated their sense of humour to the Labour Party**

    Old “Tarzan” was born 40 years too late. He would be perfectly at home today, on the lie-bore front benches-for obvious reasons😉”

  27. My late Grandmother used to think he was sexy; that is all I can say that is good about this man.

      • Evening CG 🙂

        My poor old Scottish Grandma eh but she had good judgement. She always voted Conservative and the rest of the retarded family voted Labour, except for my insightful parents of course, who took it upon themselves to leave Scotland and set up in London (1960s) and always voted Conservative.

        I always liked Grandma’s pronouncement on Dexys Midnight Runners: he needs a wash.

  28. Remember when they closed down the Greenham Common “Overweight Lesbian Peace Camp” near the cruise missile base in the 80s?
    This twat turned up for the TV cameras wearing a combat jacket.
    He looked like a gay Action Man.
    The sad old cunt…

  29. I would like to cunt anyone who cunts a man whom stood up to the ultimate cunt of all time, THATCHER!! Indeed, he was a cunt, but he had his principles, whether you liked him or not.

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