I’ve drank since a youth of 12yrs.
Asking adults to go in the offey for beer as a nipper,
Then at 15yr in the boozer.
I’m at home in any pub,
Relaxed and hearty.
But of late I’m off my ale!!
Not sure why?
Am I ill?
Am I transitioning?
Maybe I’m late development gay?
I’ve loads of ale, mead, whisky in the house.
It leaves me flaccid.☹️
Something isn’t right.
I’ve no interest,
Cant muster the urge to pour one!
Every cunts bought me some for Christmas and l don’t really feel like it.
I’m becoming a bit Cliff Richard 😩
Is this a phase?
Its certainly out of character.
Has this happened to anyone else?
And what’s the cure?
At this rate I’ll end up a ‘designated driver’!
I cant bear the stigma.
Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt
your discovering yourself for the second time
the first time you were not equipped with reflection
Enjoy it while it lasts
4
Embrace it MNC, not a bad thing at all.
You may have to change your name to ‘Enlightened Northern Cunt’, but please don’t do a Cliff and release an ENC calendar.
6
Oh the horror. Enlightenment, grab a bottle MNC and get it down you quick and this fever will soon pass, worked for our ancestors a treat and no hospitals needed calling
3
Too much of a good thing, or your defense instincts are firing up in preparation for the fight.
4
Ya poof! 😂
16
A gayer for sure 😉
5
Eh? fuckin’ hell MNC; that we should live to see such dark omens – pull yer’self together man. The restorative power of this gentle sensitive folk ballad might help…
The Macc Lads – Boddies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nmUpy3WDRw
Well you ain’t been goin’ down the pub,
You ain’t been playing darts,
You ain’t been doin’ what you should,
You’ve been hangin’ out with yer tart.
You’ve got fer get some Boddies down thee,
You know where it’s at,
You’ve got to get some ale inside thee,
’cause you’re a fuckin’ twat.
The Bear’s Head’s not the same without you,
You’ve stopped buying flares,
Seen you drinkin’ halves of larger,
You’ve even been washing your hair.
You’ve got fer get some Boddies down yer,
We’ve had quite enough,
You’ve got fer get some ale inside thee,
’cause you’re a fuckin’ puff.
You’ve got fer get some Boddies down thee,
You’ve been where you shouldn’t,
You’ve get fer get some ale inside thee,
’cause your a fuckin’ cunt.
3
Send it all to my house then.
I hope you feel suitably ashamed of yourself.
16
UT@ – Young Miserable is the salt of the earth and a good lad, but this will not do at all – I think I know what is going on here – in between pints of good stout ale a sneaky shifty Frenchie slithered surreptitiously in and added one drop of French red wine to the ale – and that awful, overrated vinegary shite caused an allergic reaction!
I recommend an aid package of Bovril and some nice warm socks – it is the only known cure for “Frenchy poisoning beeritis”!
10
I was tee total until I was 18
1
Good god Mis, that’s dreadful! You must fight it mate!
3
Good God!!!!
Whatever you’ve caught is far worse than Covid.
The bastard freeloading Muzzies arriving in dinghies must have bought some filthy infection over with them.
Take two single malts per hour until this phage is driven out.
N.B. I’m not a doctor, it’s my cure for everything nasty.
7
Periodically, I overdose, and have to take a break.
Don’t beat yourself up, the urge will return.
Also, it’s possible that you have been brainwashed through subliminal messaging to take part in Dry January, IDK what stupid phrase the meedja ( don’t needja) use, but I’m convinced that they use such methods.
11
Don’t worry MNC, I don’t have much of a desire for Alcohol these days, I still like the odd triple, a glass of Prosecco, a pint of Tim Taylors or a nice G&T but I can take it or leave it.
Have a nice cup of tea and don’t worry, if you have a desire for a pimms or babycham then you are definitely gay 👍
14
Or a Snowball, so gay.
11
Hehehe 😀
I was living the life of a 18th century welsh Methodist preacher .
But ive recovered!!!
Doombar.
It was poisoning by some shite IPA called ‘Neck Oil’
I should seek legal advice but just glad to be back to normal*.
Let this be a lesson for fellow cunters!
Stick with what you know.
Dont try these micro brewery hipster beers,
They can fuck you up.
Nearly ruined my life.
*Normal in the broadest possible terms
12
MNC@ – That’s good to hear – I was arranging an emergency aid package of Bovril and warm socks!
And I further believe some shifty Frenchie may have had a hand in poisoning your ale! 😀
5
Wouldn’t surprise me Foxy .
Sort of despicable deed a Frenchman would commit.
8
Great news; many cunters were seriously worried you had caught a bad case of the gay.
5
Maybe it’s a symtom of Covid Miserable.
7
This is a great sign and indication you are ready for the next step. Mein führer demands all his senior SS officers are sharp witted and hyper focused, so no alcohol, but one can indulge in a dabble of crystal meth. Helps with evisceration of the enemy.
I’m certain you’re ready for the promotion 🤘
8
Drinking alchohol is the only way humans open up, discuss, shout, learn and engage in revolution of the mind.. Islam is stuck in AD 600. China is 5000 years old with the most retarded language and no fork. Having said that the enlightenment was born in coffee shops. So proto cocaine before cocaine.
8
The Chinese.
Pissheads since 7000 B.C.
Drinkers of distilled hooch since 1100 A.D.
Makers of the most deceptively easy to drink but sneakily evil and hallucinogenic (thanks to one of the fungi present in the ‘fermentation’ mix) rice wines I’ve ever had.
Epic drinkers of bottles of brandy as if it were mere water…
Those Chinese?
6
OOh those chinky slant eyed fuckers. top iqs, Never invented anything
3
Apart from fireworks, the cunts.
My dog and cat thank them.
If they had a posable thumbs, they would machine gun them, and laugh while they did it.
As would I.
8
Still eat with sticks though.
They know their way around a bat virus genome though I grant you.
7
And can mix a fuck off flu as well
4
But in all seriousness, they actually have a very long and old tradition of invention.
The reason we don’t think they do anymore is communism. It destroys innovation by top down authoritarianism, crushes free enterprise and the entrepreneurial spirit. Governments and authorities don’t invent anything, individuals do.
But authoritarian regimes bribe, bully, threaten and coerce inventive individuals into its service.
Remember the Chinese cuttural revolution is still in living memory, but the Chinese civilization is thousands of years old. Don’t underestimate them.
As Britain slides toward communism this will be coming to us soon.
Fuck me how did we get here from Mis being off the sauce?
15
Good comment Berkshie.
Chesterton who I take everything from, critical of the Japanese, who was wholly Eurocentric, nevertheless called them a ‘noble’ people.
Wait for it–I can tell they are by their poetry. But I cannot find the one I particularly like.
I am not really enjoying my drink. The woman who has just hobbled out on her crutches depressed me somewhat.
2
Take for example Lev Landau. Brilliant Russian nuclear physicist in the post war Soviet era. After seeing the Hiroshit/Nagasaki bombs and the hydrogen bomb, Stalin gave him a choice, make me that or go to the gulag.
3
I did not touch a drop of alcohol for five years.
I call it my “incarcerated in Broadmoor” period..
9
That’s interesting, Vern. Care to elaborate?
4
JP@ – I have only ever been there when visiting Family! 😀 Or was that “Mordor” – not sure!
My young Lady companion “Miss busty” often states the world would be a safer place if I was in Broadmoor, she also said something or other about never listening to her, I think that’s what she said anyway – I wasn’t really paying attention..
5
Nothing hereditary, I hope?
3
I always find that when the symptoms of loosing the taste for beer etc I turn to gods own brewers the monks from the monastery Westvleteren in Belgium, a couple of bottles of the Westvleteren 12 always gets rid of the symptoms rather quickly and I return to being semi pissed and a happy old cunt
6
That some puffy lager?
Id not swallow anything some belgbummer had touch mr Soles !
No id start up a moonshine still before touching anything some ducky belgian type had a hand in.
I hate all foreigners.
7
But by christ do they make some stong ale that’d make you want to take on a whole legion of dingy divers/frogs/CRS/labour types. I can attest CR gas is only shite for the first half hour, after that you just wish you were dead – thanks you PSV cunting fans for that experience. I don’t even like gayball, wrong place wrong time.
3
So you enjoy moonshine?and the moonshine lifestyle
Most drinkers of it are excellent banjo players and squeal like a pig
1
Yeeeeeaaaaarrhh!!
I done gone an got cousin Daisy with child.
Pa”s gonna whup me!
3
Mis, the Belgies make some cracking beers 8.5% ABV is not uncommon. Avoid kriek beers, they are for bumholers. Duvel in Morrisons £2 a pop. Leffe is good as well. Much better than the horse piss the U.K breweries give out.
1
Cuntymort@
Yeah I know that really but was enjoying being racist and teasing mr Soles!!!😁
2
I used to like pissing it up a bit, too.
The local I used to use turned into a plastic yuppie plague pit full of bores and I don’t like to drink on my own, so I’m still in the process of finishing a bottle of malt I got two years ago, while another, scored one year ago, remains unopened. Had a couple of decent bottles of red over the festive (ha ha) season, and that will be it for a month or two.
Either you will get over it, MNC, or you’ll save a fortune…
7
Presently I am saving a fortune, never been better!
2
It’s obvious that you are turning into a puff.
Have you now taken up baking cakes?
Do you take more time with your appearance now…. Making sure that your fingernails are nicely trimmed and the colours of your clothes are well matched?
Are you now watching gladiator or Julie Garland films?
Are you thinking of getting a French Bulldog as a companion for your whippet?
This is what happens if you use a public toilet for a shit without lining the seat with plenty of paper.
11
Maybe Arty?
I did comb the crumbs out of my beard?
And the other day whilst walking I jumped,
Nay skipped!
Over a large puddle and said “oh my!!”
So yer right probably gone a bit camp David?
Get a disabled blue badge for that?
4
For sure. Definitely signs of err, something. Walk with a limp when you go to claims interview. Insist in standing facing a corner of the room, when answering questions.
3
Puddle jumping is a definate sign of on-coming gayness.
I don’t think that you get a blue badge for parking closer to cottaging spots, so a bag of Werther’s Originals in your glove box will have to suffice.
I look forward to your next nomination about the merits of Malibu and pineapple over real ale.
6
Oh, thank you, Art.
Best laugh of the day award goes to you.
3
Don’t drink at all, can’t be bothered with paying to kill myself.
I have no issue with people who do and I certainly wouldn’t lecture them…just can’t be bothered.
Live and let live.
8
No, you can’t judge or lecture drinkers. Telling to people to slow down, cut back, do other things is as far as you should go. If more people did LSD, weed, shrooms, DMT (cured Mike Tyson of being angry, yikes!) then they’d drink less, that’s other reason all the best substances are banned, even though we used them longer than distilled alcohol. Spirits fucked up society. Half a bottle of vodka can make you blackout, even die, that’s crazy that such a substance is legal and all the others can land you in prison with murderers and rapists for seven years.
Give us some choices, Government, duh!
6
Got a point there. If resin were a permitted drug ( not that fucking filthy hydroponic skunk, though) I doubt anyone would bother with alcohol. Only problem being for me that I no longer smoke…
4
Bake shîtcakes instead.
1
I used to drink heavily, to the point where I had two brain seizures, really went down the wrong road. I get drunk every now and again, but the thought of doing it regularly for the next 30 years scares me. It doesn’t kill you, that’s the problem, it just diminishes you over time. It got Oliver Reed at 61, George Best at 59, Bon Scott at 33, oof, John Bonham at 32. Those were tough motherfuckers.
It’s great being three double spirit and mixers in you or one really strong and tall cocktail in you (ooh, missus!) but the problem starts with beyond that: the obnoxiousness, the slurred rambling gibberish, the constant pissing (hopefully in a toilet), the memory loss, blackouts, accidents, losing phone/wallet/keys, getting home, the day after flashbacks, the dehydration, aching muscles/joints.
The best thing is to drink when you REALLY need it and keep to ONE drink during the week, then “a few” at the weekend but not to the point you enter “that place”. That place where you are no longer YOU and you become Uncensored John/Jane. Hard to avoid that place when you are young or in a bad place, lost, lonely. If drink has negative effects – and it does – then you should cut it down or out.
That’s why weed is exploding as the fun substance of choice. It’s just a shame that smoking was banned indoors as smoking weed indoors would be converting pubs to weed parlours and there’d be no kids in them! Weed can fuck you up to, though, we all know Bong-Bong Brian, the guy who lives in Weedworld now, spaced out forever, but most people have it under control and use it before running, gym, work, driving, sex, etc and no one is ending up in Accident & Emergency due to getting high, unlike the masses of people who will end in A&E tonight, some might die. Jesus.
It’s a free choice thing with booze and it should be a free choice with all substances. Weed, mushrooms and DMT should 100% be available via the internet/mail and in regulated super-safe outlets on the edge of town. There will always be booze, 14,000 years of imbibing will never go away, it shouldn’t as it makes people merry and funny. You just need to look after yourself, your mates and strangers when boozing.
PEACE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93a-t5tokpQ&ab_channel=febmariano
“Remember me for what I did on the field.”
– George Best
22
CG, indeed it is a choice. I regularly drink more than is good for me.
I’m always utterly astonished when my annual Mot returns a perfect everything, including liver function.
I take it as a sign that it’s OK to carry on.
Frankly, I’m astonished my liver isn’t the size and texture of a walnut.
11
Good point and well scripted CG, but having smoked hash on a biblical scale when young and dropped out of everything
I still think its not for teenagers, especially the weed they produce currently. its to fucking high too quickly.
no balance between the THC and CB
its a paranoid trip , yet every fucker thinks its so cool and like any other challenge some unfortunates will fall through the cracks.
i also have heavily tripped on LSD and SHROOMS and others besides
my point is in agreement but have it regulated but balanced so as for youngsters not to get fucked up which has been the way with the brews of skunk and shunt for years now
i liked Amsterdam for its leniency on smoke in the 80s having a range of levels of high and that is what needs to be introduced
proper strength printed and not left to whackos to control
its coming the legalisation or toleration but its going to be run by the same mafias that control todays market
had a bit of moroccan blonde awhile back, it reminded me of what it was all about , absolute happy beach sitting in the sun pineapple drink and no paranoias
11
December 24th:-
-3 bottles of 12 year old single malt
-12 500ml bottles of ale
-3 bottles of Merlot
January 1st:-
-3 bottles of ale
-1 bottle Merlot
No problems here👍
Just enjoying the last of the Merlot as I type this.
Mead you say😍
A trip to Stockport is needed.👍
6
Marching down middle of Stockport shouting ‘DRINK IS OF THE DEVIL!!!’. Thats where he should start. Yes a new Temperance campaign is what we need in this country.
Just off to the pub for my Guinees and brandy.
6
Enjoy😀👍
2
Sounds like a worrying attack of The Gayness, MNC. I suggest a visit to the Hofbrauhaus in Munich – ground zero for piss artists.
You haven’t been listening to Kylie in your van, have you?
Most Australian men are gaylords. It’s why my good lady wife had to find herself a portion of prime East Anglian meat.
4
Maybe right Mike?
Started humming showtunes in the van,
And knitted Fiddler a smashing scarf!
And worryingly started greeting other blokes
“Cooey!! Hello honky-tonk!”
5
On second thoughts-stick your mead up your arse😢
4
When I went to the Hofbrauhaus in Munich it was 100% good behaviour, no one being a dick, it was packed, no seats. It’s just beer after all, the Bavarians don’t seem too big on spirits, vodka is super hard to get in Munich and I never, ever, ever saw gin. They drink schnapps from time to time but even that Jagermeister shit wasn’t on the go, not prominent on the bar, that company must have spunked buckets when it became popular in America and then Britain, they must have had to build a new factory. Horrible stuff. Yiu’re meant to just have a wee nip after a meal not guzzle it with the equally vile Red Bull. I feel sick just flashing back to when me and me mates would spend 25 quid a time on that shit in the vain effort to appear… (what?)… macho? Cool? Hip? Drinking can never make you those things, alas!
6
You’ll be fine. Think it’s called getting old. I’ve drank since I was 14, I used to drink everyday. Now I just enjoy a couple when I feel like it. I drink for refreshment now not to obliterate the reality of the daily grind.
If you look at the 60 somethings down your local doing what they’ve always done, still believing pleasure is found in a bottle, you have to wonder if they have ever really lived.
7
Evening Six👍
Im a social drinker, rarely drink alone, or at home,
Driving all the time tends to be weekend drinking.
Good point about the old pisspots!
Wouldn’t want to be like that.
People treat you weird if you stop drinking, notice?
Same when I stopped smoking.
“What do you mean?!!
You used to smoke!”
Like a accusation.
Like youve pulled a sneaky trick!
Like they resent it!
“Bet you start smoking again!”
Get fucked🖕
7
That aimed at me luv?
5
See below
1
An erudite comment, indeed.
Care to expand on your comment?
1
I think its just a phase Mis, maybe because it was Christmas you think you are expected to drink? I didn’t have a drink all year up until Christmas week and have regularly gone months without bothering, sometimes you just don’t feel it.
4
Evening LL .
Definitely the microbrewery.
My mate was on the lager,
Said he had the squirts and same as me, off his drink.
At same time .
Give the place a swerve from now on.
Monsters!!
3
Twat you on about ? jag-pig
1
Giving up booze is easy, I’ve done it hundreds of times.
8
Ha ha👍
3
On a more positive note, Saudi United have been knocked out of the FA Cup by a struggling League One side. At home.
5
Villa vs Man U tomorrow.
As a lifelong Man U fan, I hope Villa fucking slaughter them👍
4
Doesnt surprise me. Stockpost well known for shandy drinkers.
2
Mis this Christmas/new year, I had a Brandy and Lovage a couple of days before Christmas. Two glasses of sparkling wine Christmas day and a Budweiser (Czech not the American) piss water to see in the new year. Worked for me, just didn’t feel like drinking.
1
Morning Mis, I’ve got the ‘genuine’ cure for you.
Nip out for a brisk walk one morning and finish up at a Robinson’s house for some snap.
Maybe a walk around Wildboarclough on a crisp morning and finish up at The Wild Boar inn on the Congleton to Buxton road? Colin and his missus do some cracking old fashioned dinners at the right prices.
Then sink a few bottles of “Old Tom” barley wine with your meal. The rich, warm complexities and the easy quaffability of this tipple would be certain reinstate your faith in ale. Don’t go too overboard, four bottles will more than suffice. When drinking it, appreciate the fact that it has been brewed in your home town since 1700 and whatever, – and marvel at the beautiful countryside you have around you.
Maybe leave it another month for your stomach to settle and for the day length to increase, so your not walking at dusk.
I’ve been off colour a bit of late, and not been able to drive around the peakland pubs as much as I would have liked. It’s depressing not going to a pub Mis.
Its not normal.
Listen to Dr Dick and you will be as right as ninepence come march.
All the best youth. And keep your pecker up! 👍
2
Cheers mr Vandyke👍
I know the wild boar inn!
And wildboarclough.
Im fixed now, thanks to a pint of Doombar.
Some hipsters had poisoned me with a bad IPA.
Off to Edale shortly,
Waiting for the missus to get ready.
Me and the dog been ready over a hour .☹️
1
Sounds like the onset of The Gayness.
It’ll be cream eggs and Babycham next.😁🍸
0