Please bear with me for a personal cunting – Subtitles on TV.
I rarely watch live TV, preferring to record and watch at my leisure and spinning through the Nigerian adverts.
Due to years of furious wanking my hearing is not what it was so I often put the subtitles on. Also there is huge variation in volume of programmes and often appalling music drowning out dialogue as well.
Half the time the subtitles are in and out of sync, usually ahead of the action. They may come right, then drift again. Fuck knows why. Is it because I record and watch playback? Fuck knows.
Subtitles are a cunt.
Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble
Admin now openly trolling the ISAC horn section
(I strongly suspect CC spent days… weeks even, putting together this fascinating nomination, and all you can focus on is the header pic and somehow blame us for losing focus on what the nom is all about. Tut, tut! – Day Admin)
17
Looking at the header pic I thought the subtitle said “subtitties”
Disgraceful
21
I can either watch the TV or read the subtitles, not both together. And if I see that cunt signing in the corner I immediately turn over.
20
When I was kid I didn’t realise they were “signing “ on the art program VisionOn when they explained that they couldn’t send the kids pictures back. I just thought they were making funny arm and face movements.
Childhood innocence. Can’t beat it.
5
Yeah, I’m a bit mutt too, getting worse with age, so I find myself increasingly reliant on subtitles. You’re right, it’s impossible to read and listen at the same time.
I stick to watching shit like Ancient Aliens safe in the knowledge that if I miss a bit of dialogue, I won’t be far wrong if I assume they were saying ‘we can’t explain this, aliens must have done it’s.
4
I hate it when they have someone on screen doing the sign language. They always appear almost in the middle of the screen. Why not just have the subtitles, instead of that cunt distracting your viewing.
0
white subs on a white background – how does that work then!?
In any case it won’t be long before English subtitles are banished and replaced by textspeak and/or some globalist language – Woke-Esperanto
14
Fun fact, George Soros’s father was a major advocate and proponent of Esperanto.
And the Nazis.
4
A lovely set of norks. Second dawn horn. Lovely.
13
35 mile drive and a quick stop for a drink/check IsAC.
All I can say is: Admin, thank you😀👍
13
I must say that I’m surprised that the kind of films that you watch have,or need,subtitles…. Knock,knock
” Hello,Miss,I am the pizza delivery guy”
” Does my pie have thick sausage and extra sauce,tee-hee”
” No,but it’s very cheesy,Miss”
” Oh good but I’m afraid I don’t have any money to pay you”
” No money,eh?…well it’s a stuffed crust,12 incherer for you.Miss… and then I’ll eat your saucy pizza while you moan with frustration and beg for a taste”…………..
There you go,C.C…..swop the word “sheep” for “Miss” if that helps.
(I doubt we will see much of CC this side of 12 noon if he’s seen the header pic! – Day Admin)
14
@Admin…probably have to wait for his wife to get the windy-pick started and chisel him out of his bedsheets.
9
DF@ Afternoon Sir Fiddler – you and I are bastions of virtue and good grace and would never lower ourselves to the point of watching any of these “blue movies” which I believe are available – a sepia photograph of the Duchess of Argyles ankles should be more than enough stimulation for a well bred gentleman like what I proper am.
Unfortunately very few of the coves and scoundrels on this site aspire to our moral superiority!
3
English language films, with subtitles in English
It’s never what the actor had just spoken is it
I suppose a lot of foreigners learn the spoken word through this median
“Equise me Swir, how do I go to picciedillies”
Left then a right, you can’t miss it
“Twank yooh Swir , yooh is werry kind cwunt
7
Reminder:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1Sw0PDgHU4
4
The sound levels on TV drive me bonkers. The cunts that mix sound should be shot. Many a time the dialogue is mixed far to low and the background racket drowns the talking. You turn up the volume and it doesn’t help as the background noise increases too. Cunts.
13
You only have to watch an old film, the quality and clarity of the sound is far superior to modern day, so called high tech technology, which is operated by button pressing, pound shop chimps.
Good morning, Bertram.
12
Bertram@ – Some televisions have an AVL option in settings – it balances out the volume so you do not jump out of your seat when the ads come on – worth checking out.
2
Never seen it, I’ll check ta
0
Not to mention subtitties done from voice recognition.
Wot a heep ov wank.
12
‘Er-indoors can’t hear very well so has the subs on all the time.
BBC news is the worst; they’re about 30 seconds out of sync and the spelling is fucking appalling
The most annoying thing is that when you’re watching something decent ( or should that be indecent?) the subs cover up the interesting bits.
8
I have the solution to your BBC news woes. Simply cover the screen with a piece of A3 paper with the following written on it for the duration of the program, problem solved!
‘diversity is our strength,
architect, and engineer shortage addressed by new arrivals in channel,
Save the NHS, get jabbed,
And in sport,
At the world swimming championship a 6’7″ woman with size 15 feet and an adams apple the size of a grapefruit has broken the wimminz 400 m freestyle world record and no fit, young pro football players have died of heart attacks’
For added realism, write ”white man bad” in a subtle colour wash for that subliminal messaging.
9
I’ve noticed over recent years how people mumble in films. They never actually speak fluently or coherently. Instead they just mumble mumble mumble. Not helped by annoying background noise, which makes the need for subs even more imperative.
9
Ah my pet hate, fucking mumbling, it drives me mad and coupled with loud background mode music/noise, subtitles are the only option.
3
I read something about that mumbling problem recently.
Apparently the directors and producers think that mumbling characters somehow make it more realistic. Bollocks to that. Speak up or lose your viewers.
0
Plenty of things to factor in, your age, sex, background noise, presbycusis etc.
Can’t make out half of the spoken word so I need subs on.
Obviously while perusing the pron channels with the missus in the next room sound isn’t an issue although smellovision might help.
7
Subtitles are all right, I have learnt many phrases watching foreign films, agreed the are bongo movies, mostly from pornhub, I can now say I have a 9 inch penis in 5 languages, nice rack on the nom picture too!
9
As a doctor of Herpetology may I point out that “years of furious wanking” has no known effects on one’s hearing.
You what? You what? You what you what you what?
6
I wonder if they do subtitle for pron films? (asking for the next door neighbour)
Imagine having to be the subtitle editor for such a film as “Backdoor Anal Intruders” and having to decipher/write all that grunting and groaning.
nice work if you can get it I suppose.
3
I’ve never seen a subtitled porno Techno, and I speak as someone with years of extensive study of the subject. I think ‘uh uh uh oh oh uh oh yeah uh uh oh oh yeah uh uh uh oh uhohuhhhhhhh uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’ don’t really need to be translated.
6
I’m old now so I find modern films and TV shows almost impossible to watch without subtitles….I watched Batman Vs Superman the other night and even with the CCs on it was a mission just to work out what the fuck was going on.
Thankfully, all modern games now have CC so I can still enjoy them, most are very “talky” these days.
3
I actually found Batman Vs Superman utterly fascinating.
In particular any scenes with Gal Gadot’s thighs… 😍
3
If Labour ever come to power, and the Front Bench is predominantly “not white”, I suspect we will definitely need subs having to work out all the streetwise lingo/patois, other than for the words “chicken”, “that’s racist” and “put it on expenses”
8
Ah the lovely Melora Hardin. What a beautiful woman. What’s the nom about again?
3
With a name like “Hardin” one can understand all the attention of her in the header pic!
She certain gave me a “hardin” when I watched The Office
2
Oh yes subtitles. I use them when I watch a show with a thick British accent.
1
Me too, and I’m British. The worst culprits are the sports “presen’ers” and you can forget about any drama. If it’s London then I require subtitles and if it’s north of Birmingham, it sounds like a foreign musical. American TV is even worse.
3
Sorry to hear about your self-induced hearing loss CC, but I find this a bit of an odd one. My optician insists that serial wanking can seriously damage the eyesight, but I’ve never heard that it affects the hearing before.
Most of the films I watch are foreign and subtitled, as the output of Hollywood these days is such shit, so I’ve learned to get along with them.
Boy that’s some rack on that girl. Given me the right horn.
Aye up all.
6
I posted this as a cry for help. Hoping some TV/Tech savvy cunter would know how these fucking subtitles could be synchronised.
What I got is:
Blatent Welshism from a Northumbrian deviant. I have passed his response on to Mark Drakeford who will contact Humberside Police to nip up the A1 to correct his thought.
Antipodean sneering added to by Day Admin, breaking off from his/her/they’s morning wank to hurt my feelings.
Worra bunch of cunts.
9
If you have a smartTV you should be able to go into the menu options and look for something like “audio settings”, and from there should be a setting for enabling “subtitles” along with a setting for “time sync delay”
Time Sync Delay, or its derivatives will help you sync the subs with the spoken word by adjusting the speed up or down by 10ths of a second.
All trial and error, depending on how the subs are embedded into the film you’re watching.
2
Will try. Thanks.
1
Just adds a couple of our hours to any film you want to watch, probably Grand Slam if I know you Welsh fellows. But then again you all know the dialogue to that by heart.
1
Subtitles are hilarious on youtube especially when the plantation pickers speak, the subtitles are better than the documentaries they sound like Brer rabbit in the tar pit
5
also the Changs are great on subtitles, Cambodians speak Chinglish and tend to just pick a dozen words and use them in any old order…million pity man sat heart sitting
2
Yes, and articles and prepositions need not apply.
1
I put on the subtitles for most films from the Deep South of the Usa.
Sometimes a bit off putting when it loses track and the subtitles from the last advert break pop up and it says ‘yodel-auyeee’ from that bloody Dominoes ad!
3
I need them for any Yank TV. Different words, different stress. Worse than pakees.
3
Just finished watching Gomorrah. The best crime series I’ve ever seen. All in subtitles but it never bothers me that much. Would highly recommend this series for ISAC members if you’ve not seen it.
1
I was disappointed with series five, the first four were great.
Subtitles don’t bother me, although I have one DVD called ‘The Insomniac City Cycles’ which is in English but also has fixed English subtitles as well. Don’t see the point. No, it’s those little cunts in the corner of the screen signing for deaf people that do my head in. You should be able to turn them off but I can’t find a way.
2
Gomorrah isn’t bad. Since retiring I’ve watched pretty much all the crime series.
Pre-woke Sopranos is up there with BBad but ZeroZeroZero, a more recent one is ok too.
Imho anyhow!
3
What pisses me off is when you get some cunt waving thier arms about taking up about a quarter of the screen. I realise that it’s useful for anyone who is stone fuckin deaf but why the fuck can’t you disable it.
1