There are lots of reasons for cunting this mega cunt but this is slightly more specific for one reason.
Up here in Kings Lynn around December time the listings for the upcoming shows were released at the Corn Exchange.
https://www.kingslynncornexchange.co.uk/theatre/whats-on/
Now I quickly bought up two tickets for the pub landlord ( end of March) and whilst waiting to be connected to the booking office as I could not seem to book online I perused who else might be up. (See link)
Now kings lynn being kings lynn is very much a Brexit part of the country. Nish take note.
So, just as a tertiary peeping onto how many tickets were sold at his gig I noticed neatly all the front seating had been taken.
Good lord I thought.
After only a week on sale he’d sold a third roughly. Good going I thought must be a few lefties still up here. Fast forward to the 18th January at 1235pm bearing in mind his gig is just over two weeks away. Clicked on link and low and behold even a matinee for pepper pig has outsold him that same week. Even Josh Widdicunt has completely sold out and his gig was released same day and sold just as many tickets.
Looks like only the lefties bought the tickets then back in December because I really can’t see any deviation in sales. Hah!!! You unfunny cunt.
Be interesting to see if it’s cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. i.e no other cunt apart from 150 in west Norfolk, north cambs and south east lincs combined want to see and hear your woke bollocks. That’ll teach you to wind up your audience and get pelted with rolls.
One thing for sure is Kings Lynn ain’t Islington you supercilious, up your own arse, AlBBC arse licking mega cunt. Oh and just look at his blurb to try and sell his tickets.
What a knob.
Nominated by: Onceacuntalwaysacunt
“One of the Guardian’s Top Fifty Comedians of the 21st century”.
With that endorsement they may as well have been handing out the bread rolls on the door. Total cunt, stick to your eco chamber inside the M25.
22
I saw Nish Kumar on telly doing some panel show thing.
I honestly gave him a fair go,
Fuck me,
Painful.
Humour vacuum.
He seems mildly pissed off at all times?
Doesn’t seem to even enjoy comedy?
Hes lucky they only threw bread rolls,
Id be looking for a brick or fresh dogshit.
22
“Seems mildly pissed off “ mnc if you or I were him them I’d be proper fucked off and I dare say you would too. Seen the size of his 👃. What a conk.
11
Throwing bread rolls is cultural misappropriation surely? Why not chappatis and/or samosas. Personally, can’t stand this cunt or his performaces.
12
The bread roll gig?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DVuC6DRKQgA
5
Yes, mildly pissed off ( depending on which female is ignoring him), but then over the top manic when he says anything. He finds himself hilarious but comes across as a cunt.
1
Who TF are the other 49?
7
I don’t know but I reckon that one of them is that spazzo bint who takes about 30 seconds just to say 4 words.
1
Nish who?
8
In the late 80s early 90s comedy was massive,
They were making massive amounts, sellout shows,
‘the new rock n roll’ it was lauded as.
Billy Connolly was great at standup and know lots on here like Bernard Manning (me too)
Heres another I liked
https://youtu.be/JQ91XQyfulU
7
Bernard Manning would be in prison nowadays if he was alive.
Old Bernard ripped into every race and culture. He didn’t seem much of a feminist either (“How old you say? 23? Fucking hell. If you were me daughter I’d still be bathing you.”)
Can you imagine his take on the terror attacks, George Floyd and tranny shite?
It’d be fucking gold.
Surprisingly, Bernard’s best mate was his (as he put it) ‘P a ki next door neighbour’) who used to roar with laughter at Bernard’s piss taking (‘Your house is the same as mine but yours is worth twice as much.’ – ‘How can that be Bernard?’ – ‘Because you’re not living next door to a fucking p a k i.’)
His paternal grandfather’s surname was ‘Blomberg’. Yes, he was a part four be two but didn’t care who he ‘offended’.
He was just a funny as fuck bloke and if snowflakes can’t handle it, they can fuck off. In fact, I recall some show about 20 years ago where they showed ‘risque’ comedy (Manning/Eddie Murphy/Chubby Brown etc) to lefties. A lot burst out laughing (and then covered their mouths quickly and tut tutted in shame) at Manning in particular.
You can’t fight nature. Good comedy is always a bit cruel or it doesn’t work.
31
That house joke had me fucking snorting out loud, thanks cuntybollocks, cushty
7
£21:00. Then I’d have to get there. Maybe a 150 mile journey. Whats that on the train? I dont know £70 or something. I couldnt get back…no. I’d have to stay overnight. £200 for the night down there I think.
Somehow I dont think it would be worth it.
10
Slightly linked but it is very windy up here this morning. Storm ‘Malik’ it has been named.
Says on a website-‘The names chosen reflect the diversity of the UK, Ireland and the Netherlands.’
Fierce battering winds. I bet there will be damage.
10
I’d seal up me windows and doors if I were you.
I could do without me house stinking of curry and unwashed arses.
16
They could use names like Storm P*ki or Storm Stabby, best yet Storm Dinghy, topical names to represent diversity in the UK.
12
Unfunny twat
15
It was certainly raise a titter should a stage roof or 1 ton gantry fall on the cunts head.
As a parting gift they could stick the veg on the same ward as BLM Sasha.
The fucking rats.
14
I’m not saying he’s unfunny, but even the empty seats walk out (sickipedia).
19
Comedians abound on TV game shows, never heard of any of the cunts. Get a daily fix of Andrew Lawrence on You Tube, he is only funny since he tells the truth.
Twat Valley police…….
14
Nish Kumar is to comedy what Josef Mengele was to patient care, if he was white he’d be long faded into the past!!!
30
if he was white he’d be that unfunny cunt russell howard
15
As deeply unfunny as and with a face that’s begging for a brick like Adam Hills. Have the two ever been seen together? I think we should be told.
7
I fucking loath this cunt. If I am watching T.V and this unfunny cunt comes on the channel gets changed. He is about as funny as losing a close family relative.
11
Have heard of him, but never actually seen him in action. And I guess I never will given that he’s a bit of a cunt by all accounts.
I suppose if he doesn’t get full houses at any of his shows he’ll blame it on the usual right-ring suspects rather than himself. And I wonder as a last resort to fill empty seats his management team will do the same as what they do with wimminz football games? Namely, give out concessions/freebie tickets to all and sundry just so that it looks good for the ground is full in front of the TV cameras!
11
He’s either sold a lot more tickets (in the stalls) or the bookings are amiss.
Hopefully a mob of anti woke types turn up with the contents of the local bakers products including brick loaves and rock cakes.
15
frisby a few hundred chapattis at him instead
7
I’ve just sent the following message to Nish on Twatface:
Hi Nish, it’s your mate Geordie here.
I see you’re doing a gig at Kings Lynn on 3rd February. An old friend of mine you don’t know lives near KL and would love to meet you afterwards. His name is Tony Martin, and the address is Shotgun Farm, Psycho Lane, Emneth Hungate, Norfolk. If you could call by after the gig he’ll be delighted to give you a traditional Norfolk welcome. No need to knock, just let yourself in.
Yours ever,
Geordie
28
Those front seats have been sold to public spirited individuals who are only going there to throw bread rolls at the cunt.
7
Nish Kumar. As funny as shitting blood. You’d have to pay me a fucking lot of coin to sit through one of that cunt’s ‘shows’, unless, of course, he was being bullwhipped.
19
I saw this twat a few years ago at an awards night. His entire act was based on anti Brexit bullshit and England being a racist nation He really is a nasty, ugly, unfunny wanker of the highest order.
Cunt.
24
The shitskins all hate the UK yet here they are in their millions, begging and scrounging and grooming kids
16
Comedy is dead now isn’t it? Great stand up has always been about sailing close to the wind, but nowadays the only targets are white man and Brexit voters. Les Dennis was finished when Mavis Riley left Corrie, Ben Elton had to resort to writing shit novels when Thatcher got booted out. What are cunts like this token going to do when Brexit bashing and wokeness go out of fashion?
12
Snuff it with any luck. Cant Shaun nominate him in the Dead Pool? He seems to have a knack of finishing folk off.
11
Blast from the past was quite good and very true to life the wanker ends up with the top job.
0
Another unfunny cunt is that romesh raganation, looking at his face he looks like a carpet rider having bells palsy with his weird droopy eye, and that big toothed unfunny cunt Rob beckett they both need oven 560 degrees would do it
16
The only reason Rangerbanger gets air time is because he is Asian, everyone knows he isn’t remotely funny but pretend he is cos he is brown init
Spaz eyed wanker
15
Romesh is to comedy what Micah Richards is to football punditry. Only where they are because of the colour of their skin and that they suit the current narrative.
14
still can’t see why that Romesh cunt got uppitty being called a coconut …does he cry when he’s called a grapefruit or a pineapple or is it just hairy nuts he objects too
11
Yeah! Romesh Ragaamuffin .Another cunt like Nit Kumar and the burnt um ber ilk. Misplaced confidence and self-awareness in thinking they are hilariously funny with their puerile ‘dry humour’ and dead pan expression. Tootal and utter cunts.
5
When the Mash report came out I watched the first few episodes, other than this cunt it wasn’t bad, but he just gave monologues on Anti Brexit bullshit.
I put in a complaint to the BBC, explained why I thought this was nothing to do with topical comedy but just blatantly Anti Brexit.
The BBC cunts just defended the unfunny P*ki wanker.
17
the more shitskins, the more BBC license payers, the sheckle counters at the Beeb love these smelly cunts
7
Barry Cryer leaves that cunt for dead.
My mate reminded me of a B C joke yesterday.
Picasso’s house got broken into, when the police arrived he drew a portrait of the burglars, they later arrested a horse and 3 sardines.
Went to see Stewart Lee Thursday night and he mentioned B Cryer.
Some years ago S Lee was accused of blasphemy so he did a show that ended with him vomiting in the gaping arsehole of baby Jesus. (To piss off his accusers)
Sometime later he met Cryer at the fringe and Cryer said I’m angry with you
Lee …why’s that?
Cryer …you stole my joke on vomiting into the gaping arsehole of baby Jesus.
S Lee isn’t everyone’s idea of a comedian but the first half was extremely funny. Not so the second.
12
Why are we punished with awful unfunny cunts like this cheap imported shit
Is it to pretend we the British people accept and agree with multiculturalism and all it come with
Talk to real folk both posh and working
The answers will be the same
Some cunt has decided it’s the right thing the people want when it fucking isn’t
Just fuck off you dirty unfunny piece of shit
Watched Bernard last night
Don’t mix radials with cross plies ffs love it
14
Acac# google his punk and nun joke
6
I bet the crap cunt carries around a can of ‘canned laughter’ with him at all times because he is so unfunny. Crap Cunt!
8
Arseholes like Kumar wiuld never have got where there are |(such as it is) without the patronage of the BBC – first Radio 4, the nursery school, then BBC2 or 3, where they really show their charm – not to that many people though – BBC3 went on line because of miniscule audiences but now thanks to the licence fee (for the time being) it goes back to the bigger screen this week, along with the drag shows
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6dALp4VPU8
7
they all need the white man to feed them, cunts
12
My name is being John how I will be helping you….made my laugh, BT cold callers trying to sell broadband contracts say all that shit, just tell them your name is Penelope or Marmaduke and some fukin Indian will tell you their mother is also called that name
7
There will be loads more of these curry-callers when Al-Beeb is forced to make redundancies…
3
I have only ever seen him on that clip, where he was at a Lord Taverners charity event.
Two things came to mind:
-he has absolutely no self awareness. Did he research the organisation and its aims and achievements? Completely wrong audience for his “style”-stick to Islington.
-whoever booked him was a stupid cunt.
Don’t forget-this is the racist, anti-British CUNT that was brainwashing Primary School children with his “British Things” pisstake☹️👎
20
A client of mine works for the Lords Taverners and he was fucking told ” this is not a bunch of leftie students ” and he fucked up with anti Brexit comments anti Tory etc – what a cunt.
1
He’s not funny, he’s a cunt who thinks he’s funny, if he wasn’t Asian he’d never have got a spot on TV.
Never mind Nish, maybe there’s a spot for you at the new Asian cricket club in Yorkshire.
7
“Kumar beaten to death by gang of masked pensioner comedians”!
No?
Fucks sake.
“Brexit, racist, whitey, Trump” – that’s this talentless cunts entire act – but not a word about dinghy invaders or pant shitter Biden..
Fuck off back to India Nish Kuntmar – you are a disgrace to every good, loyal and proud Indian Man I have ever known and I do not want chippy, thick, marxist, hate filled shit in my Country.
Looking forward to his gig tonight though – I am baking grenades into the bread rolls and as there will only be 17 other people there (serve Kuntmar right for letting Family in free) I will have plenty of room for aiming..
7
Comedian my arse. Just goes to prove there is something insane in the membrane of The Guardian and BBC types who think he’s actually funny.
8
Cuntologist@ – They are not meant to be funny – they are meant to follow the script.
As are their audiences – “The Guardian gave him a great write up Cressida”!
I would love to see Kumar do a gig at a working Mens club in the North..
9
I accidentally caught my shin on a corner of “The News Quiz” today. Talent scouts looking for guaranteed loss-making end-of-pier shows need look no further than the current cast, with special reference to Nish Kumar, and the Baddiel voice-alike Andy Zalzman*, basing the entire programme on the premiss that the only worthwhile object of humour on earth – and the only news – is Boris. There was also some Irish cunt who had not yet quite abandoned his sense of humour and two (white) Mandatory Wimminz, one of them not only not a comedian, but not even remotely comic.
* Back in the stetl, that would have been spelled “Salzman”. Pretentious twat.
I agree with this cunting
Long ago this used to be a decent programme
5
Mercifully this cunt has not ‘broken’ the US yet, or if he has it’s passed me by. I don’t watch any of the major networks anyway so even if he had I’d be blissfully unaware. My point being I’ve never heard this cunt or his ‘comedy’, but I have it on good authority that he is indeed an unfunny cunt.
Is he not the cunt that now presents Wireless 4’s News Quiz? Back in the 90s I used to love the News Quiz despite the obvious left wing bias. I still used to stream it occasionally when I moved to the US but it just got too woke. Cunts.
5
See above. Zalzman (who he?) now presents the shitshow. Kumar is included because that was what was stuck to the bottom of the barrel. Edgily ethnic, is our Nish. English with History at Durham, started in student revues.
3
Thanks for putting me straight Komodo, I should’ve read your post first. Either way I’m sure he’s still a cunt.
2
My pleasure. Must admit I don’t always read everyone else’s posts either! I often fail to close italics too….
1
You’re right BH, the News Quiz was excellent when Alan Coren and Linda Smith used to be on it. Both died about 15 years ago and it’s been a heap of shite ever since. I never listen to it now.
4