(According to the Express this is the New Who – Day Admin)
‘Dr Who’ and Auntie Beeb
To; Head of Advertising
‘The Guardian’
London N1 9GU
Araminta dearest
As you know, Jodie Whittaker has decided to give up the title role in ‘Dr Who’ after the most successful, most publicly acclaimed run in the show’s history. Accordingly, I attach the copy for the advertisement for her replacement, and wish to see it placed in our house magazine (just my little joke ha ha!).
As you’re well aware (and must surely approve!), we at the BBC are rigorously committed to the pursuit of equality and diversity, so we’re anxious to ensure that only the ‘right’ applicants are moved forward for consideration. We therefore do not wish to entertain applications from white, able-bodied, heterosexual males (even though such a person has previously played the part for sixty years), but I’m concerned that stating this could be construed as unethical, and possibly unlawful.
Under the circumstances, I ask you to ensure that the following wording is specifically incorporated into the text;
‘Applications are STRONGLY encouraged from differently abled, gender non-specific persons from ethnic minority backgrounds. A stammer, or evidence of an abused background or gender re-assignment would be a distinct advantage’.
Sincerely
Jemima ffarquarson-ffuckwhitt
Head of Casting and Recruitment
BBC Broadcasting House
London W1A 1AA
PS See you at Tarquin and Bunny’s ‘Rainbow’ cheese and wine thrash on Sat? Most of Hampstead and Islington’s been invited, I hear! Ciao! *kiss kiss*
Nominated by: Ron Knee
Dr who has always been a pile of shit.
Bring back space 1999.
35
And ‘Blake’s Seven’.
That Servalan was proper naughty…https://www.google.com/search?q=servilan&rlz=1CAJCUZ_enGB975&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=G9G6LM-_jZni2M%252CveMoQnYTch2QrM%252C_%253BWeFFPW6Lk5HgxM%252CMy4diqKCFGCZRM%252C_%253BfryuADzP79MCoM%252C7yEuuoWVhTjANM%252C_%253B7fJ6OKj2ULpuhM%252CAWkhByvjfeV3aM%252C_%253BAYOfIfZ5HJx1RM%252Cw3DxrezmUKmPkM%252C_%253BuTmynaq2UcXx1M%252CMy4diqKCFGCZRM%252C_%253BHyYP2OYrAub1MM%252CMy4diqKCFGCZRM%252C_%253BU7hgO3UY-w-8lM%252CMHNMEGptFSMCLM%252C_%253BNWV9gqtmG1H50M%252C2XBXS8arT4AGEM%252C_%253B9OFQv-bfi3PI8M%252CMHUcRrvDJ8qxOM%252C_%253BZvTBdz84bQj0sM%252CuUfMe_lQ7xxicM%252C_%253BlbgIgRCNlnQawM%252C29Eohn818wZ-ZM%252C_%253BCg7zcH_6qr4tOM%252CNfoQ5jQCDBMcDM%252C_%253BRGyKMK64b1oOvM%252C98wDkEnJhhM6hM%252C_%253B_7JASTaiJjeubM%252C7Jv7MlccAk1D-M%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kRhFd4C1KtTU_iTtxfj9jXje4uizg&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiZ18GW-qT1AhVO2aQKHQREA7QQ9QF6BAgeEAE#imgrc=vPBTHcjl79vJ0M&imgdii=smCS0rei37xJrM
Christ that’s some link
15
Yeah, bring back the sci-fi sluts.
Servalan, Glynis Barber. My fave was Colonel Wilma Deering from Buck Rogers.
18
Looks a bit like ms jizzlane
7
Diggy digggy diggggyy hey Buck. !!!!!!
Or whatever it was the robot thing used to mutter. Wilma in that space suit spandex is the stuff of teen boys dreams.
10
That robot, Tweeky, had a head shaped like a bellend.
“Bidee bidee bidee, OK Buck”
10
Gabrielle Drake in Unexplained Flying Wanksock.
12
Lest we forget, Fish
https://www.deviantart.com/captp1/art/Gabrielle-Drake-looks-delicious-as-Lt-Ellis-in-UFO-897631693
2
Brings back a teenage sexual fantasy that I shall share with you all, whether you like it or not.
Tweeky: “Fuck her. Fuck the bitch”.
Wilma: “Yes, fuck me!! You’re so much bigger than Buck!”
Spasticus: “Aaarrrrrggghhhh”.
3
A quote on her role in Blake’s 7 (1978)] I’d been a masturbatory fantasy for an entire generation of young men. I mean, that made a girl feel good.
1
I remember Jacqueline Pearce’s quote that the best thing about her role as Servalan was the thought of all the throbbing boners she gave to teenage boys viewing the show.
Oh, for those happy days when a boner was a real diamond cutter.
19
Dirty bitch.
I think my mom always used to wonder why I disappearedinto my room as soon as the show finished. I’d be rock hard by that time.
13
In one of the photos She looks like Jo Brand; time is a real bugger.
6
It’s still a great trip down memory lane tho Guzzi. She was in my wank bank and no mistake. I’m getting a twitch now.
4
MPG – Sorry mate, but Space 1999 can fuck off. That bunch of cunt stole the budget for UFO series 2. Ed Straker should have launched the interceptors and taken out Moonbase Alpha.
UFO – better plots, better scripts, better actors, better effects, better models, better sets, better music, better tottie. Just better.
14
From what I remember, Space 1999 had a cold, eerie feel about it.
I liked that. And also the theme music is pretty funky.
6
If anyone is interested, UFO is currently showing on Forces TV for those still watching the idiot lantern. Only just finished runs of Blakes 7 too. Benedict Cumbercunts mum Wanda Ventham as Virginia Lake was in my wank bank as well. Shame that he was eventually expelled from her birth canal, the cunt.
6
Space 1999 Series One was good stuff, but then they brought in an American producer for Series Two, who retooled the whole show as a Star Trek ripoff soap opera in space.
And it was bollocks…
2
Will Doctor Who go back to 1936 and stop the end of slavery in Northern Nigeria when it was incorporated into a British colony ?
16
Or the Doc could tackle slavers in modern day Africa.
14
“Come on man” Thats not real. Globalslaveryindex.org.
8
Whilst commandeering the Tardis to displace historic statues into the sea.
7
I look forward to watching the viewing figures plummet even further than they already have.
Fuck the BBC.
30
They could get Mike Craven-Cunt to read kiddies’ stories, now renamed “Jimmy and Rolf’s Half-hour.”
9
‘ Dyke’s in spaaaaaaaaaace ! ‘
I wish that there really were Daleks, and they invaded Earth.
I’d throw my lot in with them
And go on a killing spree
First stop, BBC.
EXTERMINATE ! EXTERMINATE ! EXTERMINATE !
25
Sean Pertwee for the job please.
12
Would make a great Doc, except for you-know-what.
15
Even though I don’t like his politics Idris Elba would make a great doctor imo. He has a lot of charisma about him.
3
Really, the BBC would love that idea, he could smoke a sonic reefer.
6
I hate his politics but unfortunately he’s a damn good actor. Like that other cunt Michael Sheen.
2
Both superb actors. Elba was great as Luther. If only they would keep their virtue signalling traps shut.
11
Agreed. Sheen’s such a fucking luvvy.
5
I’ve been meaning to watch Luther for ages RTC. Is it on Netflix?
2
No idea, OC. I have the series on DVD.
2
I liked Davros.
He was a right evil cunt.
He’ll bum some sense into this modern aberration no doubt.
Dalek AIDS would be perfect.
15
It should be noted I stopped watching Dr Who about 40 years ago so I may be somewhat “behind the times”.
Thank fuck.
17
Same here Terry. I think the last time I saw it, Peter Davison had just become the Doctor.
What I don’t understand is why actual grown adults still watch this shit.
On the BBC no less!
12
Here’s a good’un. Dr Who lands in the 80’s and assists Rolf Harris in recording Stairway to heaven.
12
Or, maybe the next episode could see the Doctor travelling to 17th century Bristol, to give Edward Colston a talk about diversity, maybe send him on a course or two.
4
I thought Sidney Poitier had just died?
How can he be Dr Who?
10
He regenerated.
11
Not so much “Dr Who”, but more like “Doctor WTF Happened”?
14
Time Lord, that is it, Dr Who is a bloke, only straight white blokes apply 👍
Assistant, fit young white bird 👍
Fuck diversity and inclusivity, Bastard Borecasting Cunteration is already overrun with vastly out of proportion diversity.
Cunts.
20
Sci fi, James Bond and “action” films (or “movies” as they call them these days) are all the same to me…….all aimed at the dumbest fucks on the planet. The wokie message will hardly register on their dim minds. As long as there are car chases, cunts getting chinned and shot up that’s all they care about. However as the audience are a bunch of thick cunts in the first place I can see why they think they can convert them to wokeism.
Interesting. Very interesting.
14
So true, Freddie. The dumbing down of what passes for entertainment these days is indeed aimed at those at the lower end of the intelligent population, because the industries are beginning to realise that only the thick are going to continue to pay to view the atrocious Bloody Bollocks Company.
16
We want a real Doctor not a Witch doctor.
14
https://www.google.com/search?q=black+doctor+who&rlz=1CAJCUZ_enGB975&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=9tvm4Wl_1V-tGM%252CEdTwgP1otJypoM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kTNw_hsExtvZpzCmpltE8H6_joDDA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwidseqVm6X1AhWPqaQKHXfHAbgQ9QF6BAgGEAE&biw=1300&bih=612&dpr=1.05#imgrc=9tvm4Wl_1V-tGM
2
Bye bye sonic screwdriver, hello machete – maybe have a mad mullah sidekick? A stabbing here, a fatwa there, Improvised Explosive Daleks wasting cybermen at checkpoints. Who knew.
18
Dr Whoke is a two bob, Saturday tea time kids program. Mickey Mouse CGI, full of out of work actors or ‘comedians’ and laughable scripts. I have no interest in it’s modern incarnation at all. But where it does get my attention is when it’s used as a woke, leftie propaganda tool aimed at youngsters. Just entertain and stop fucking preaching. And go back to using dodgy rubber monsters and wonky sets. And what is a dark key doctor going to do differently? Trade in the sonic screwdriver for a knife and stab people? Get rid of the tardis in favour of a 15 year old bmw pimp mobile? Save the universe from a shortage of fried chiggun? I doubt it very much. Be prepared for some juicy race baiting scripts though.
What a pile of cunt!
20
What’s a dk Doctor going to do differently?
Open a fried chiggun bar on Gallifray?
14
Which is a clever front for peddling crack.
8
They did this with Star Trek.
They made 007 a black wimminz
They are bound to make Dr Who a chippy dark-key👎
Never fear though, Donald Trump Jr as The Master with his “sickle cell” lazer cannon, will soon sort the fucker out😀👍
20
I agree that Dr Who is for children, adult babies and sexual deviants🤔
15
Being of the latter persuasion, here’s my nom for the new Doctor.
Ethnic type, female… What’s not to like?
I’ll volunteer my services to ‘assist’ her as often as she likes.
https://pagesix.com/slideshow/salma-hayeks-sexiest-bikini-swimsuit-pictures/#4
8
Blimey!
4
I predict that she’d bring the ‘dad’ audience flooding back JP.
8
For sure, Ron, especially if she dresses in such scanty items. It’s hard to see how she could wear less without being actually nude..
Excuse me, I need to go and knock one… more nail in that bathroom shelf thingy.
6
It’s the sonic screwdriver in my pocket, honest!.
6
Never mind the first effnick female Doc.
Let’s go for the first only wears a g-string Doc. Salma gets the vote!
Just front up to the Cybermen with those bangers on display and they’ll be too busy wanking themselves into a coma to do any damage.
12
Salma Hayek is a beaner goddess, Ron! Have you seen ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’?
Here’s a very wankworthy dance from the divine Salma:
https://youtu.be/IyCM-IIXF6c
6
Christ that’s evil. What a body.
7
That women needs to be done in as many positions as possible.
With copious amounts of cum splattered on her boobs, repeatedly!!
4
As long as it goes both ways I wouldn’t mind. Sasha Johnson as Davros (I know that’s fucking mean, teehee), Gina Miller as the Master or Lammy, Butler and Abbott as Zygons.
8
That last three wouldn’t work as Zygons Shackle. They’re too fucking ugly.
3
Bin
1
Fuck me, next episode is about gender struggles with a back story about drug dealing and stabbing.
Hope the Doctor turns up soon, I need to score bruh!
8
It’s contemporary; socially, culturally and politically aware. It’s what we expect from the Beeb. We don’t want sci fi fantasy entertainment that the whole family can enjoy.
8
The left always infiltrates all genres and avenues of life, and perverts them to base levels of sickness, dirtying any good memories that you may of had. They are very sick depraved bastards, and need putting down.
17
Tom Baker was the last good Doctor Who; at least he could wear a rainbow scarf and not look like a fa990t.
21
Halcyon days😢
He had an “intense” slight madness👍
Chris Ecclestone was probably chosen for the same reason.
8
He was my favourite. Kind of sinister.
Lost interest when he regenerated.
3
My interest would leap up again if the Beeb did indeed go the whole hog and employ a disabled person in a wheelchair, preferably with an hilarious speech impediment and spina bifida.
It’d tick the right boxes and, by Christ, I’d watch that. It’d be fucking hilarious!
5
Tom Baker still would make a great Dr Who, even at his classic age, but they would fuck him with woke assistant’s and over dramatic gay, touchy feely, bullshit scripts to attract the fairy folk. Dr Who was about adventure, mystery and Science fiction and not primarily based in the fucking eastend with all the rainbow league and C lister so called celebs in tow, I gave up on this shit after Tom left aswell, the end of a true Classic run.
Looks like there’s more diverse shit to come, it needs renaming to Dr Poo, because it’s crap, but at least the woke like it, god help us…….
6
I can see it becoming so bad that it actually acquires cult status. I don’t think it’s quite there yet; perhaps they need to get somebody in the role who’s a full on luvvy cunt in their own right.
A Stephen Fry/Miriam Margargoyle/Patrick Stewart typeSteve Coogan type.
1
It’s already at CUNT status, so nearly there.
1
See that black bird on the left? That’s St Marcus Rashford when he finally goes trannie that is.
8
Is that a bird? I thought it was a bloke!
7
…and Jodie looks like somebody’s just farted.
4
Just in passing, I wonder where Norman’s gone? He likes to have a kick at the Beeb and woke Doctor Who.
6
Norman’s been awol for 3 months+….
3
Same as Spoonington, ISAC’s nicest fellow. Maybe he got weary of all the spite!
Evening RTC!
2
Evening Thomas. We’ve lost several esteemed cunters over the last year. Off the top of my head:
The Empire Cunts Back
Quick Draw McGraw
Mecha-rigsby
Lord Helpuss
Richard 1
Willie Stroker
Cuntflap
Mecha-Rigsby
Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt
Norman
cuntator
WokeUpTodayAndRealisedWhatACuntIAm
CS continues to post using various guises….
5
“CS continues to post using various guises….”
Using his inimitable ‘abstruse special needs blended with superciliousness’ style of prose.
4
B&WC and Nurse Cunty too.
5
We need another couple of good-humoured birds around here for a different perspective on topics.
And a couple of jolly gays.
No transbumders though.
5
I remember flaxon Saxon and birdman as well,must be going back a bit.
I see mince pie guy was back at the top of the nom
2
Evening LL. I think Norman was our longest standing cunter apart from HBelindaHubbard.
3
I just hope they are ALL in good health Ruff🤞
0
I just hope they are ALL in good health Ruff🤞
3
Evening cunters.
I think Mince Pie Guy is a gay. The Empire Cunts Back was a favourite of mine, I could see him going postal in an office somewhere after being pushed too far by the wokeness,
4
Cuntologist is the only regular female contributor I can think of right now. I think maybe women are put off by the word “cunt”. A couple of weeks ago I sent a script of a play wot I wrote to a female friend and she replied surprisingly critically:
“What you have to think is, would my wife like to read this script? If the answer is no then you’ve probably guessed the rest. Plus throw in a few c— words that most women hate and there’s the verdict. I think most ladies draw the line on that one.”
Ironically the first person to read the script was my wife and she found it hilarious! She described it as Harold Pinter meets Beavis & Butthead….
4
Tell your critic that its perfectly fine to have the word ‘cunt’ in your play. Remember the line from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (1975) “…but she’s something of a cunt, ain’t she, doc?” Iconic and punchy. Also its in The Canterbury Tales! If you weed out the feminist mumbo jumbo in this article, there’s some interesting history about the c-word: https://qz.com/1045607/the-most-offensive-curse-word-in-english-has-powerful-feminist-origins/ Fuck me, I had no idea some cunt in ancient Egypt went around saying ‘cunt’ and everyone was fine with that, amazing.
Good luck with the play 🙂 As B&WC used to say, what’s it abhaaat?
3
What happened to Raiders of the lost cunt? She said she was an early 40s something unattached non wimminz female whoo kept herself in shape. Where are you Raiders?
2
Cali Angel too?
1
He’s in my basement. As for Kev and MincePieGuy, both are being put to good use. Mince, as a foot rest.
1
I miss the blunt undiplomatic distaste for all the shit he had to endure through his many years of General Schizophrenia as well as the beyond the realm perspective of General Cunster.I think Nasty Pelosi’s death squad got him, or one hopes he saw them coming and debunked to his underground base in the Appalachians.
3
Good old Beeb.
More woke infested fuck-wittery on its way no doubt.
On the subject of the beeb – the Masters snooker has started on there.
Possibly the best week of televised sport in the calendar. In my opinion of course.
So they’re not entirely bad but they are still cunts.
2
Hopefully there’ll be a highly localised outbreak of chınkyflu that puts only Neil Robertson and that cunt Mark Selby out of action, the pair of boring, tediously defensive twats! Particularly Selby…that fucker really gets my goat!
2
Yes I know what you mean.
Mark Selby is a fucking nightmare of a player.
I’d give his wife one though.
Evening Thomas.
2
Evening HJ…I’ll bet you used to hate the übermensch of snooker cunts, Peter Ebdon.
Have you ever seen the five minute comparison of cunt face’s score of 12 vs Ronnie O’Sullivan’s 147 in the same time?
https://youtu.be/tIyfLTFrN_U
4
Ebdon was on another level of cuntishness at times when it came to his etiquette.
Oft overzealous fist pumping in victory. (for snooker anyway)
Often deliberate very slow play to stifle his opponents.
Yes victory is important and all that but at the end of the day it’s still a spectator sport.
I’m sure I remember Ebdon pretending to faint after winning a close match in the world championship back in the 90s.
Think it might have been against a young Ronnie O’Sullivan and I’m fairly certain it was total theatrics.
A strange man.
1
That’s the best 12 I’ve ever seen. Makes Ronnie look like a pub player.
Evening chaps.
2
Love snooker, me. Best player? Me. Closely followed by Richard Herring:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KP29pPHaO_8
1
Dr fucking Who fucking cares?
The last time I saw this cardboard scenery. pantomime horse shite Hartnel (I think) was the Doctor. How anyfucker could give a fuck is beyond me.
5
Don’t think many do to be honest CC, but it’s a good pisstake at the woke Beeb I reckon.
3
The script writers will have gay daleks next, bumming each other – the cunts
3
They’ve been beaten to it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G5jYKwxuFc
1
They can cast whoever they like. I haven’t the heart to say this to two friends who loved Dr Who but to me it’s always looked like the poorer, more earnest relation of Red Dwarf. I probably watched a few episodes of the McCoy era as a boy and a couple of the newer ones with Christopher Ecclestone and David Tennant but it’s always seemed absolute shit.
2
Wait so the female Dr who got axed now I forgot about that but we are getting a black female one now? I wish they would just end the franchise in a respectable manner
I bought a Dr Who themed pinball table a few months ago thats still keeping me entertained Thats what the BBC should focus on pinball
1