Ant and Dec (4)

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When I read this article in the Daily Fail  my piss started to, boil at truly scalding levels!

I often watch morning news on ITV and BBC whilst enjoying my morning cuppa in bed but I fail to see why a rampant talentless left wing loon like Sussanah Reid gets paid £1.1 million a year for sitting on her arse reading an autocue and interspersing it with own propaganda driven drivel.

But that’s not the point of this cunting. Scroll down and your piss will really boil. Two talentless Georgie ex children’s TV presenters have signed a £40 million three year deal with ITV to arse around presenting shite TV shows like “I’m a has been, please relaunch my career”, “Saturday night shite” and now a new quiz show “Limitless boredom”

Yes, you read that right. Ant and Dec are going to cream in £6.6 million a year each for fucking about on telly as only they can.

FFS. The world has gone truly fucking insane…

Nominated by: Dioclese

 

76 thoughts on “Ant and Dec (4)”

  1. It’s the free market economy in operation. Obviously ITV think they’re worth this amount. It would be different if it was the BBC and we were forced to contribute to their pay through the licence fee. But it’s not, so what’s the problem?
    Not jealous are we, Dioclese?

    By the way, what’s a ‘Georgie’?

    • Agreed. They’re a couple of cunts but they’re not trousering obscene amounts of public money so I don’t really care. Same with Bradley Walsh. It’s a matter for them, their lawyers, agents and accountants and ITV.

    • As Mr Twatt (quite rightly) observes, good luck to their lining their undercrackers with copious amounts of fuckwits` cash. And Mr Twatt`s a Geordie. Why aye man, y`cunt.

  2. I haven’t watched ITV in years apart from the odd soccerball match. Ant & Dec have been on ITV for geological epochs. Fuck me, they must be loaded, they should cash that in and live in the Bahamas. They could live in a Lego replica of Newcastle Castle and have Jimmy Nail serenade them with Crocodile Shoes at their pleasure. Ant could fill the moat with vodka and dive in when he felt like a tipple.

    • I haven’t seen this pair since the earliest days of Byker Grove, and I didn’t give a toss even then.

      • Cunts do three things, they urinate out of, they give birth out of, and they give pleasure, the two wank stains give nothing, the only pleasure I would get from these two twats would be a trip to unkle Terry’s oven

  6. It’s an absolute puzzle to me as to how two utterly talentless oiks can make so much dosh by the simple expedient of gurning and gibbering at a camera.
    That goes in spades for that half man, half Klignon cunt McPartlin.

    • What I don’t get it why Who Wants To Be Millionaire didn’t just keep running. That was mega-popular and interactive. You could have a week-long Christmas edition where they guarantee to pay out a million three times by making it easier.

  7. Like a lot of cunts on TV, Ant & Dec are too thick to do anything else with their lives. Worth 62 million quid each, fuck me. You and I would be living in the Bahamas, Costa Rica, Brazil and exploring the world with that bank balance. But you need imagination to see life like that. These careerist showbiz bores will be hanging around like creaky cultural furniture well into their 70s, so either get used to them or do as I do and ignore them. TV is dying a slow death. Young people don’t watch Freeview TV, so unless it changes – and it won’t – it will die out by 2040. ITV must be ran by thicker cunts than the BBC. They could turn their channel into something amazing, but as I say, mainstream media showbiz cunts are thick as fuck, living in the past, no clue about what people want for entertainment in these days.

      • You can google someone’s net worth and get a fairly accurate answer, unless the cunts are dodging tax and have even more. Yeah, if I was 47 and had over 50 mil, I wouldn’t be working, not even a cushy job, as you are still working for bosses and in Ant-Dec’s case, they are in the public eye, under scrutiny, vipers ready to strike. They could retire or semi-retire, do a podcast with their friends, no pressure. Ant doesn’t even have kids! Work must keep him busy, off the booze, poor bugger. Dec must be the careerist of the two and he has a three-year-old girl.

        Showbiz is an odd matrix-within-the-matrix. Once you enter that labyrinth you don’t leave, it has no centre, you just die in it. Look at how many 60s/70s showbiz stars with NINE FIGURES in the bank are still grafting away: Mick Jagger (miser cunt), Robert De Niro (useless with money), Faul McCartney, Rod Stewart (miser cunt), etc. Money is an ego-drug to these cunts.

      • RK@ – 62 million? If I had that kind of money I would strongly consider buying a new chain for the bike!
        Provided there was a sale on..

  9. On the subject of TV, I have written to my MP expressing my opinion about the BBC extortion tax.

    He will be asking me to vote for the other lot soon, getting my constant opinions 😂

    Ant and Dec, it think paint drying would have more charisma.

  11. Definitely a pair of talentless, lucky on their feet, cunts but I don’t watch live TV so I don’t care really. Nice work if you luck into it.

  12. As double acts go only Fred & Rose come close.

    I like the mekon one hes the funniest.*

    *Looking.

  14. … these two cunts epitomise everything that’s wrong with TV culture (lack of it). They’d be amongst the first on the fuckin’ list for offing when the back lash begins.

  15. I’m never sure which is which. When one carks I’ll be thinking ” Oh, I see Ant and Dec, from Ant and Dec has shaken a 7″
    I agree, too, if I already had an obscene amount of money, I’d be living the life of Riley, not working for more.

  17. If you take a closer look at these two talentless twats their style has been nicked from Morecamde and Wise…. but with fuck all talent

  18. Yep on everything inc adverts these pair of talentless Northumbrian hobbits are laughing all the way to the bank. 2022 version of Morecambe and Wise and about as funny 👎👎Unless you are of a certain age ?

      • These two cunts are an embarrassment to the hard, working class Geordie nation. No fucking better than the talentless Beatles who harp on about where they come from but lap it up in luxury miles from ‘home’. Alan ‘Mary Poppins’ Shearer is another one who claims to be working class stock that creams in millions a year from the BBC and couldn’t be farther removed. Dump the cunts in the Tyne with concrete life-jackets.

      • I could not agree more, Mr Knott. 👍

        Nothing boils my blood more than the thought of someone from the the lower orders making good.

  19. Fuck me… 40 million quid for Cunt and Dick aka PJ and Duncan?

    Nice money if you can get it eh.

    I’m still not sure which one of these cunts is which… Oh hang on, yeah that’s right, Ant “Never ending Forehead” McPartlin is the drink driving one as I remember.

    Don’t think there is one single thing on ITV that I’d ever watch although I’d definitely still happily give Susanna Reid one.

  20. The more gormless-looking one often texts when he’s driving. Yes, he does really stupid stuff when he’s drunk.

    Irritating, talentless fuckwits with irritating, childish accents.

  22. Apparently these two cunts are as a tight as fuck with money because they’ve always believed it could all end tomorrow. I can see why they think that as their double act is as old as the Victorian Music Hall and has been done time and time before.
    They’re not getting their dough from the cunting BBC so I don’t give a fuck.
    I hear Adele is getting half a mill a night for a “residency” in Las Vegas. I won’t be buying a ticket and I won’t be watching this pair so fuck ‘em. At least they’re not Gary fucking Linekunt.

  23. Ant and Dec are cunts, not for being paid shit loads, but for being ubiquitous and a one trick act. It’s the same old well rehearsed ad libs, the cheeky chappy patois, taking the piss out of unfortunates. It’s the same bollocks on every show they do.
    Now that cunt Cowell has admitted defeat with the Xfactor, ITV only have these two fake grinning pricks to salvage their Saturday nights. Do what I do. Switch off.

  24. Apparently the names “Ant and Dec” are registered trademarks. Registered cuntmarks, more like.

    • I’d like to select them for an up against the wall shooting.
      BUT then, that’s just me, fighting stupidity with violence.

  26. Plenty of dense cunts watch these d.warf nuisances.
    I must say I’d be quite keen to watch them…fall through a trap door into my roaring oven.

  28. Susanna Reid is fucking hot but only with the sound down.

    Ant and Dec are not worth a comment let alone 12 million English Pounds!

  30. I’d rather stick a red hot needle down my japs eye than watch anything with those two dickheads in it.

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