“Stars” Who are Not on Instagram

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Hold the front page. There are a number of ”stars” who are not actually on Instagram!!! Can you believe it?

Apparently this is so important that celebrity sites aimed at brain dead readers give them more publicity by complaining they are not on the social media. The old saying that there is no such thing as bad publicity is obviously still valid.

I confess I have no idea who some of these people are, e.g. Robert Pattison, Kristen Stewart, Tina Fey, Lisa Bonet, Meghan Markle (only joking Ron! BTW when is the next chapter appearing?).

However, even I have heard of Brad Pitt, Scarlett Johansson, George Clooney and tranny-lover Eddie Murphy although as they are approaching their sell by date perhaps they are keeping their heads down.

See for yourself and weep at what you are missing:
Best Life News Link

Nominated by: Mr Polly

62 thoughts on ““Stars” Who are Not on Instagram”

  2. I run my life according to the wisdom imparted by such celebrities as Joey Essex, Joe Squash and Kerry Katona.
    If they haven’t been in Chat! Magazine theyre nothing.

    That Stevie Hawkins, people act like he was something special?
    Just sat there gurning!!
    Never did Love Island though did he?

    And that karl Marx?
    Lot of people in Islington look up to him,
    But he never got a advert for FarmFoods!

    And that Alan Turing, Enigma Code?
    Dont care what gameshow you were on mate,
    Your nowt till youve swallowed a kangaroo bollock on ‘im a celebrity get me out of here!’

    • Turing swallowed many bollocks Mis

      All human ones, no kangaroos.

      And many a cracked ringpiece in Bletchley Park.

      • Ive been in his house Dick.
        Obviously he wasnt in,
        What with being dead and all.
        Blue plaque on it.
        Smart lad even if a puddle jumper.
        He gets a pardon off me because he helped us get one step ahead in WW2.

        He also invented the first butt plug.

      • Yes, Turing gets a royal poo*fter pardon off me too.

        Kept himself to himself, and saved countless lives.

  3. Needy narcissism comes with the “job”.
    I would watch the “stars” being torn apart and eaten by a Kodiak bear.
    Often.

  5. Maybe we could persuade some on this list over to ISAC? They’re certainly qualified, a veritable shower of cunts.

    Some big name cunts may give a boost to this anti-social media platform enabling it to eclipse twitter one day.

    • What a lovely idea!!
      Itd be rather like a modern form of bear baiting or dogfighting!
      You could get Stacey Solomon to ask Fiddler about his colour coordination in his living room and see how long she lasts?
      And Kerry Katona vs Tommy Cunt Engine!

      • Philip Schofield is available for odd jobs too Miserable. Something about creaming your backdoor gate, I hope he was referring to a paint job!

      • Seen him lately LL?
        He looks fucked!
        Since coming out/forced out hes aged 30yrs.
        Burning the candle at both ends no doubt?😁
        He looks like a extra from ‘Coco0n’.
        No way id pay some elderly bandit like Phil.

      • I reckon old Schofield’s got AIDS.

        He caught it off Freddie Mercury in the ‘80’s.

        He looks ill to me.

        The drugs must have stopped working.

        A definite Deadpool candidate.

  6. What is this “Best Life” bollocks? Shouldn’t it be called “No Life”? Why else would anyone be interested in the thoughts and activities of some narcissistic arseholes?
    As for this Instagram bullshit, unless I can put my farts on it I don’t want to know.

  7. Good nom Mr P.
    I do love a good ‘luvvy’ story!

    PS Been holding off on ‘The Markles’ lately, as I sought of got the impression that people were sick to death of the cunts.

    • I for one appreciate the respite from the cunts, however, seeing that ginger cunt in the news yesterday telling people to give up their jobs if it pisses them off shows how far removed from reality.
      What, doesn’t one have a trust fund?
      Wanker.

  8. I must be hard work yearning adulation day in and day out. I don’t know what wankagram is for but I do know it’ll be populated by cunts, the same I’m guessing as titwank and all the other places people with no lives hang around.

    • Who gives a flying fuck what these airheads think?
      To a man theyre all simpletons.
      George Clooney?
      Right little snowflake.
      And that gurning cunt Bobby deniro,
      Crybaby motherfucker.
      If I wanted the opinion of say Emma Thompson on the question of immigration,
      Id include it in the hate mail I send her.

      “Dearest Emma,
      I hope they cant cut you free of the wreckage you silly goofy cunt.
      I despise you so much I hate myself.
      By the way whats your thoughts on immigration?
      Anyway, hope your ill, and continue to deteriorate.
      All my hate
      Miserable 🖕

  9. I wonder if Warwick Davis is on Instagram?….I’d like to ask his opinion on the subject of postnatal abortion for runty little Cunts.

    • Evening Lord Fiddler-been on holiday?
      Hunting Go.lliwo.gs in the Polish border?🤔

      • Evening,General…been busy working…things are easing off a bit now,thank fuck.

      • Evening Dick, we all thought you had been snowed in for three nights at the Tan Hill pub up in the Yorkshire Dales after storm Arwen. Apparently ‘A Night With Warwick Davis’ was on the bill.

      • Evening,Mike.

        I did enjoy a couple of pints in Brampton one night…rather regretted it the next day though.I used to be able to supp a gutfull and think nowt of it…don’t find it so easy done these days.

        Hope all is well with you.

      • that would be a great holiday, fuck mountain climbing and hand gliding just give me a rifle and a plane ticket to the Belarus border

  10. The world would be a better place, if NO celebrities were on social media.
    An even better place if there was no social media 👍

      • Maybe just MEDIA was the worst thing to befall us. Seeking direct, felt experience is what we are supposed to be doing. Media is like organized religion, it’s a middleman God/religion. Government/media. 15,000 years ago, we had no middlemen, well, we had shamans, but the shaman would give you the plants and mushrooms that let YOU experience what the shaman experienced.

        Media. It’s like can’t experience LIFE anymore with medium, a veil, a screen, like this one you and I are looking at now. When you turn on the internet, you turn off your brain. Well, I don’t, some of you guys don’t, but most people do. We used to mock people who watched too much TV… now look at us. Jackin’ off to porn all over the world until 3am, hitting refresh on forums looking for some juicy bullshit gossip, conspiracies, doom porn.

        We need a new beginning. And the so-called “elite” of this world know that, but fuck off with letting those cunts decide what the world will be this millennium. They’ll turn it into a pleasure dome for themselves and a digital sweatshop for the rest of us. BALLS!

  11. Not sure where the heart of this cunting lies. Are we cunting people for not being on a self important narcissistic platform?
    What’s next, cunting people who say ‘fuck fleeing my shit life to Europe, I’m going to make a go of it at home’?

    • how about all vain selfie cunts get to fuck and all gimmiegrants get fried alive on electric fences or get to fuck in a dinghy shot full of holes

  12. Being a showbiz star circa. 1920-1990, ie. Rudolph Valentino, Bing Crosby, Clarke Gable, Bogart, Sinatra, Steve McQueen, Jack Nicholson, Warren Beatty, Madonna, etc, THAT was awesome.

    Being famous started to suck in the 90s and in 2021, it’s horrible. You can’t sling dick like you used to. That’s why they ended up on Epstein Island.

    It doesn’t really make sense that A-list megastars are on social media. I mean, the point of social media is to promote yourself when you are a schnook, but if you are already a household name from Tallahassee to Tibet, then why bother? If you are a stand-up comedian, then yeah, social media helps as those folks don’t get the promotion that others get in the business. But then, we had a President (Obama) who had a Twitter account! Think about how comical that is. Then Trump went nuts with his Tweets at 3am, babbling nonsese. Another moment where I realised, “oh, this REALLY is all just theatre like I kinda suspected since I was 8 years old with Reagan.

    Fame kills you. Ask Elvis. No one learned from that guy’s tragic lesson. Maximum fame is the ultimate form of loneliness, so people should be careful for what they wish for. In the near future, complete anonymity and “splendid isolation” will be the ultimate prize. Hit it, Warren…

    ( 5 minute song)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3MNG11oynA&ab_channel=WarrenZevononMV

  13. There are some quite funny reels on Inshagram.
    Anyone who is “an influencer” deserves to die from “influenza” (sorry)

  14. This shit is nothing, compared to what’s just around the corner. When the Metaverse kicks off, big time, it will have every cunt and his cunt brother on it. The shenanigans will be infantile. It will be an utter mongfest.
    You ‘aint seen nuthin’ yet.
    Cue song ………
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cia_v4vxfE

  15. I note that Palace have drawn Millwall in the Cup. Interestingly they both have well known sleb suporters.
    Palace have Eddie ‘killer’ Izzard and Millwall have Frank “bruiser’ Maloney.
    Forget football these 2 should have a bitch fight in the centre circle. Much more entertaining.
    My money would be on Frank. He looks like a typical Bermondsey slapper, only much better dressed.

      • The Instagram plan.

        One shake for breakfast,
        One for lunch,
        And a sprig of asparagus for tea.

        Slip back into that glitzy little number.

        Guaranteed to have you looking like Nikki Grahame in time for Christmas.

      • It’s better than the Schofield plan Mis.

        Phillip’s anal training video.

        Available on Betamax this Christmas.

        Insert and pass a grapefruit by New Year’s Day.

        No tears, fissures or lesions, – or your money back.

      • I’ve been on that Chaturbate, spying at those young ladies Gord.

        The sound came on it the other day, and my missus heard that bling bling noise and some orgasm noises, whilst I was lying in bed. I could find the volume button quick enough!

        As for OnlyFans, I think I will wait until summer, as I don’t need to purchase one in the winter. Draughty enough as it is here thanks.

  17. All this instagram and Snapchat bollocks or whatever else is completely lost on me.
    Load of gen Z wank.

    There’s one of them that apparently automatically deletes all trace of whatever the hell anybody posts after something like 10 seconds. Forever.

    Yeah.

    • me too, never had a smart phone never taken a selfie…too narcissistic for my liking, my 20 year old flip phone still works fine if the car conks out

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