In a recent nomination of mine, it was suggested that I don’t like charities and I stated that Oxfam in particular was worthy of a cunting on its own right – so here it is.
Oxfam have always been totally out of touch with reality. I remember many years back in a former life being asked to test a new computer system which was designed to be rolled out in the African villages to keep track of project costs. I had an ideological problem with this. It goes along the lines of the old saying ‘give a man a fish and he’ll eat it but teach him how to fish and you’ll feed him for life’ or something like that.
This computer system was going to put local clerical workers employed by Oxfam out of work – which seemed to me to be going against the whole ethos of the organisation.
Then it got better. ‘I’m not happy with your rate’ says the Oxfam manager. ‘For every £1 and hour I can knock off it, I can feed a starving family in Africa for a week.’ ‘Tell you what’ says I, ‘I’ll match every £1 an hour you knock off your salary.’ Not only that, but how many people could they have fed for the cost of the computers?
This is the organisation whose former chief executive Dame Barbara Stocking saw her pay rise over three years, while revenues fell but donations increased. In a statement, Oxfam said Lady Stocking was due to paid £119,560 in 2012/13 – which means that her pay increased by 19 per cent from £100,008 in 2009/10 “which is in the lower quartile of what other large charities paid for their chief executives”. Isn’t that a bit like saying it’s OK to give a fat cat banker a whopping great bonus because all the banks do it?
And I wonder how many starving families in Africa she could have fed on that pay rise. After all, at the time she earned more than David Cameron.
I’m not anti-charities as such. If people want to give them money, then fine. Go ahead. But as far as I’m concerned, I’ve got better things to spend my money on than helping to fund political campaigns I don’t agree with and to piss up the wall on top heavy admin costs.
There are far too many charities and as far as I am concerned Oxfam should be the first to get the chop…
Nominated by: Dioclese
(More skeletons in Lady Stocking’s cupboard, Day Admin – Daily Mail News Link )
That smelly scruffbag Bob Geldof and the gittish Midge Ure have alot to answer for. All those starving Ethiopians they “saved” back in the late 80’s have now produced 24 children each, thereby perpetuating the problem.
Come on AIDS (or a simian-specific and more voracious version of chınkyflu), pull your finger out, there’s a few hundred million too many Africans that need thinning out.
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The funny thing is Bob ripped off ultra twater’s idea and became very rich Midge not so much.
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I think Midge Ure is a decent guy, ergo you didn’t see him indulge his pockets like the cunting Oirish Worzel Gummidge tribute act.
St Bob saw an opportunity to dine out a second time after “I don’t like Mondays”. And fuck did he dine well.
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Ethiopia now has the fourth largest economy in Africa. Any suffering there is entirely due to local policies – they do not need outside help.
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Fuck all these charities, especially RNLI and the cunt with runny eyes that puts me off my tea cunts,.We did adopt a donkey nice picture of Timothy in the hall and free Christmas cards and stickers, the boss of this only takes £110k a year so much less than the Westminster cunts.
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30 years ago it must be or longer in that i received a letter
It more or less said that i could adopt this young boy for 20 quid a month
the score a month was to go towards his education and that he would be in direct contact with me throughout his learning through the charities official channels of communications
this boy had a name and a history that the charity provided
It was tears in the eye type stuff superbly constructed
i wondered ,after almost choking on guilt , how the fuck did they know my name and address when computers were packman and space invaders
it was then that it clicked ,that there was one customer who was insistent on my address and how to spell it with the number included
the cunt, she made fuck all ,cause i wasn’t adopting fuckin no one from a distance
but when i thought about it that cunt bitch was on a commission for every one that fell for it
must say the photos of the boy and wording in the letter were tugging the heartstrings
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I believe in the old adage that charity begins at home. I wouldn’t give the steam off my piss to any of them that sends money outside the UK, or doesn’t help British citizens. I no longer donate to RNLI and neither does the shipping company I work for, and we may one day rely on their brave volunteers.
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PS: I don’t donate to fucking kids charities either, because I fucking hate the little cunts!!!
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Me too, Foghorn. In fact, I don’t donate to any human charity. I’ve been a proud member of the ASPCA for well over 10 years. I make a regular donation to them every month. Helps to save and care for our furry friends (especially cats who rule!).
Sometimes when I’m in the supermarket and the person on the cash register asks if I’d like to donate to some bullshit children’s charidee, I always proudly announce I only support animal charities.
Fucking bastard gimme-gimme-gimme kids and their bastard scrounging cunt parents can ask for help. Animals can’t. So fuck ’em. As the ASPCA slogan goes, “We are their voice”. And cats rule. 🙂
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I quite agree! I got stopped in a mall last week and asked if I would consider donating to UNICEF? I looked at him thoughtfully and asked ‘why would I want to do that? There must be millions of feral kids running round just waiting to breed the next generation of urchins. They don’t need saving, the herd needs thinning’. He looked shocked as I walked off to get my morning coffee!
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Cats do indeed rule IY.
As I write this at 0430 GMT our ginger cat Monty is asleep on Lady Guzzi whilst Grumps is telling me that breakfast time is fast approaching and he’d like a few prawns to keep him going until then. Cookie is out; she is too aloof to spend time with mere humans.
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For every cause that a charity supports, there’s a CEO coining it at the top. 620 cancer charities in the UK, 620 top dogs out of a gig if/when a cure is found. Not in their interest.
Arms manufacturers need conflict like pharma need illness.
It’s not opaque is it!
Kerching!
We are a nation of simps today
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All charidee enveloeps go into the recycling without opening. Name and address removed of course.
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“Da ting is, Lenworth, dat de natives all fight among demselves, so dey can never become civilised.”
There used to be 167000 charities in England with more in Scotland, Wales and NI too. Including great ones like The Jimmy Savile Charitable Trust:
https://register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/charity-details/?regid=326970&subid=0
Oxfam is a shit show. Because “de natives all fight among demselves” you get a lot of displaced people where there isn’t any water. Teach them how to be plumbers, drainage and sanitation engineers and that’ll sort out the drinking water and shite removal problem.
I admire The Salvation Army and MacMillan Cancer Care. They really help people. Oxfam can fuck off. Bob Geldof is a twat.
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