SOS Silence Of Suicide

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SOS Silence Of Suicide

As a now very old cunt with me sleep rhythms totally fucked Yours Truly spends late pm and the early hours in a state of maudlin inebriation drinking through dwindling stocks of a very decent single malt laid down over the generations. “It’s a quarter to three and there’s no-one in the place but you and me…” You know the scene, reflections on a wasted life, a little blubb over me late lamented wife – thoughts on all the friends (not many and outlived them all), foes and marks who made me the cunt I am – then I think to myself “Fuck ‘em” and take another single malt.

TV advertising in the wee hours consists of funeral plans, gaming, dating and charities. Fuck ‘em. Latest is this creepy voiceover from the outfit above inviting punters to man phone lines and social media on a voluntary basis with the aim of talking cunts out of topping themselves (full training provided). Bugger that. As a veteran of this site “Failure to oblige” (you cunt Shatner) is the bane of life and the true challenge of this grossly over populated world.

For the Stattos out there the stats are educational. For every 25 attempts only 1 actually does the business (Yankland). At a rate of 130 successes per day the total cull could be 130 x 25 = 3250 Yanks per day. Result. Extrapolate that for the rest of the world on an annual basis and climate change is sorted.

https://sossilenceofsuicide.org

https://save.org/about-suicide/suicide-facts/

My proposition is the promotion of suicide. It is nature’s way. Support TOTY – Turn On and Top Yourself (full training provided). You know it makes sense.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

59 thoughts on “SOS Silence Of Suicide”

  1. America is the suicide center of the world.
    It is also the alien abduction center of the world.
    There are a lot of nutters there.

    There are countries where life is simply not worth living.
    Poverty, hunger and no hope.

    I wonder what the suicide rates are for places like Africa or India.
    Somehow those people manage to soldier on without telephone helplines.

    • Cheerful as fuck!😁
      Im thinking of volunteering?
      Sort them out easily.
      Mostly just a bit mard,
      Not enough gravy in their diet or good brewed bitter.
      Moping about feeling sorry for themselves,
      Do some star jumps and get a few pints down you!
      Be back to normal in no time!
      Id never take me own life.
      Fuck that!
      Assassinated me!
      Thats proper that is.

      • I wouldn’t last long doing that helpline:
        “So you’re female age 27? Text me photo.
        You’re not bad looking. Can I have 20 minutes with you before you off yourself?”
        Or: “you’re going to use a shotgun? You should go outside. Think of those who will have to clean the bits of brain tissue out of the chandelier you cunt!”

    • Hard to commit suicide when all you have is dirt and not the luxuries of tall buildings, bridges, and railway lines.

      I mean you could try swan diving into a crocodile infested lake or sneaking up on a lion and grabbing its nuts, but that takes some serious determination.

      • Africa is suicide poor.
        Bob Geldof should do Suicide Aid!
        Help em out.
        Donate paracetamol and vodka.

      • In India they are mostly Hindus who believe in reincarnation. So maybe they chance it and think there is no way I can come back as a curry wallah or drying out cow pats again.

    • Throughout the world, I’ve always noticed people who have fuck all are happy as fuck. I was going to work yesterday morning and that fucking terrible band Linkin Park came on. Long story short, I’m fucking glad that cunt killed himself. Cunt

  2. I share Sir Limply’s early hours melancholia – after 1 a.m. I am, more or less, fully awake, and the words of T.S. Elliot comes back to me, about not going through the door we did not open, and all that. You turn over every regret you have ever had, and they are magnified. After all this fruitless contemplation, you get up, but tiredness creeps in late morning,and despite myself , I doze off after luncheon. The spouse is by then through her second or third soap of the day, and now has “classic” episodes from years ago in the afternoon to keep her going to the “new” evening episodes.

    One thought/regret/statement lingerss all day and night – why did I marry the old trollop?

    I can’t really support suicide for ordinary decent people, but if old Adonis despairs because he can’t rejoin, or Blair’s conscience (if he has one) caught up with him, then I would wish their self hanging well, and crown them the queens of swing.

  3. The only thing stopping me getting a good nights sleep is the cat, he seems to think that my bed is for him to share (reluctantly) with me 😂

    • Love a cat on the bed. It’s a symbiosis, I know the kitty is there yet I sleep better than ever.

      I’m definitely less suicidal when I’ve got a cat

      • Yep.
        Had six of the buggers at once, years ago, (don’t ask).
        All kipped on the bed, best nights sleep ever…. until brekkies! 😴🤤

      • Brings a tear to the eye.
        Big tuff cunters, going soppy over Kitty-cats.

        (One of mine is curled up on my lap as I type this)

      • And the same here. We’ve kept two or three since we married, so forty-seven years. When we are down to one we get two more. Oldest one now is fifteen.

  4. The benefit of being a cynical fuck means I can justify my otherwise pointless existence in the hope that if I stay alive long enough I might get to see humanity itself commit suicide. What a hoot that would be!

  5. One of the worst things about getting old is when you shit the bed and then have to spend the next half hour gently smearing it on the wife’s arse so she thinks she did it….

  7. Suicide, the ultimate opt out clause. If it is going to get widespread support there needs to be an efficient clean up service that prevents loved ones finding the corpse. None of this spur of the moment messy shit. Perhaps there could be a number to call for Local Authorities to send round cleaners after a polite time has elapsed. Swingeing penalties would need to be imposed for cunts who are just attention seeking and do not follow through. No doubt organised crime could offer the policy makers advice on such matters eg bodies could be rolled up in carpets so as not to disturb the neighbours or frighten the children, and plastic sheeting should be required for the purpose of preventing spatter (VAT free, obvs).

    • Time to reinvent red telephone boxes as suicide booths. Put in 50p and dial 666, then the floor opens and you fall into a disposal unit.

    • Repurpose the old phone boxes as suicide booths (a la Futerama). Once you’ve paid the door could seal shut, pump in the Zyclon B and then flame throwers could incinerate the remains before the floor opens up to dispose of the ashes. BT are missing a trick here (unless they are planning to unveil a similar solution at COP 26 maybe).

  8. Hmmm … a difficult one to contemplate 🤔
    Here’s the thing … a troubled mind is a troubled mind. Seldom can you take an individual that has really and I mean really considered ending it all and bring them back from the literal edge. They tend to become a total liability to all around them and of course when they do finally get on with it the resultant aftermath leaves open wounds and a lot of scars on everyone that is connected. Thankfully, I’ve not had to deal with it directly but I’ve seen the devastation that it leaves in its wake …
    I know it’s a bit trendy but PTSD in its purest form (it comes in many guises and is uncaring as to whom it saturates) is absolutely fucking horrific as it burrows deep and consumes the soul. In some it’s impossible to detect as certain individuals are capable of constructing a facade that makes them appear impervious to the rigours/pressures/stresses, call it what you will, to the way in which they impact their immediate surroundings. It’s generally that hindsight thing … yeah should’ve seen that coming … but you probably wouldn’t have nor would you have recognised it even if you did.
    Gloomy subject for a dark, dank Friday afternoon …
    If you do know someone in a mess try not to judge them too harshly …

    • Maybe depression is not avoidable in some people
      But a lot of people are to serious and literal in everything the read hear or see
      We have had nothing but fear mongers with governments and MSM for way to long.
      We all get pissed off a times with the whole fucking lot but after a few hours of that shit I just say to myself “fuck em all”
      Must a said 30 times already this week

      • I tend avoid reading newspapers, watching the news, Facebook etc. It’s depressing otherwise.

  9. I thought the Japs were world leaders in offing themselves?
    Have they fallen behind?
    Maybe the tsunami from a few years back cleared the gloomy ones out?

    Fuck me it’s hard to keep up,I think I’ll have some wine.

    • The Japanese had a different view of suicide. The bushido “death before dishonour” and all of that.

      In some ways the Japanese idea of death on a battlefield mirrors that of the Vikings going to Valhalla.

      However, the “Kamikaze” (Divine Wind) pilots of WWII only had enough fuel to go on a one-way trip. Even if they had wanted to back out at the last minute they were pretty much tied to their fate.

      The whole seppuku thing was about restoring your families honour. In Japanese society (a real patriarchy and women are often very much subservient to men – not that the neo-liberals and SJW give a shiny shiiite about that of course) is very much about family honour and not losing face.

      Sorry for the CS like discourse (did he get banned again??)

  10. Suicide is a can of can’t. I urge anyone not to do it and please get help.

    Telephone Samaritans dial 116 123. It is free, confidential, and doesn’t show up on the phone bill.
    Or e-mail them: jo@samaritans.org

      • Cheers, Harold.

        I remember when TiTS was feeling down a while ago. It reminded me.

        (TiTs, was a fairly regular poster up until early September. We will ping him an email soon to see if all is well – Day Admin)

  11. Being the sociopath and misanthrope I am, I’d apply for that job in a heartbeat.

    Good rates of commission?

    Still, the DWP achieves the same end for those struggling to feed their kids and pay the bills.
    ‘We’re cutting your money off, cunt’.

  12. If you’re going to off yourself, don’t choose crucifixion.
    There’s no way you can get that last nail in.
    Get To Fuck.

  13. Please cheer up Sir Limply, your posts are a delight.

    I hear swimming and Tai-Chi I are suitable pursuits for the older person and enough to tire the mind to sleep like a baby.

  14. Can’t agree with the suicide part of this.
    I’ve known 4 people end their lives and each time it has destroyed other lives around them.

    There’s a fella who talked about it on here a while ago and he hasn’t posted on here for some time. I’m hoping it isn’t for this reason.

    • Remember that Harold. Wasn’t it “Two in the stink”? Apologies to all if I’m mistaken. As you say I hope that’s not why he’s disappeared from the site.

    • Spot on, Harold. Far reaching effects that they’ll never see. I can still see, although some of the faces are a blur, the suicide victims I’ve seen. Still hear the grief of the family. Still feel the feeling of despair knowing that there’s fuck-all we could have done. Still go through in my mind the thirteen yr old girl we got to in time and got her into ED. Don’t know if she’s alive, never followed it up, but, the background behind why she did it had a copper and I in tears.

      Oh yes, far reaching consequences.

      • Talking of epilepsy, I knew a girl who’s next door neighbour was epileptic. He was always smiling and waving at her – he obviously had a crush on her.

        She was 22 and he was 18.
        I suggested that she should get pissed then invite him round-take him to bed and sit astride him, then turn on a strobe light:

        -it could be the best ride of her life😄

        She was NOT impressed. Some wimminz have no sense of humour🤔

  17. “My proposition is the promotion of suicide.” That’s a shameful statement. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45 and also shatters the lives of those left behind.

    • Have you come to the right place BH? This isn’t Facefuck.
      Next, you’ll want to cancel Sir Limply Stoke 🙄

      • He didn’t say anything about cancelling Sir L, he doesn’t agree with the statement, and, neither do I, and have posted why, above. Doesn’t mean I want to cancel Sir L, either.

  18. Given my current state of health, I seriously considered it last night but decided it would probably hurt to much so I bottled it…

  19. Oh fuck, I’m off to read about the nominations for Karens or the permanently-offended.

    • Who’s offended? I don’t agree with the statement and have outlined my reasons. I find very little, offensive. (Apart from agendas being forced on me).

  20. I never thought I’d ever even contemplate the idea of suicide, until the woman I was married to said she was leaving me, and it was all my fault. She went on to list her many reasons, and destroyed what little self confidence I had.
    Even when I found out the lying piece of garbage had been seeing another cunt at work, I still blamed myself completely and stood on a cliff edge more than once thinking it would be best for everyone if I jumped off.
    This is utter bollocks of course, but when you are in that frame of mind it seems perfectly logical.
    But, I thought of the effect it would have on my parents, who aren’t in the best of health, and my brothers and sister, and my friends of many decades, and it always pulled me back.
    I’m so glad I didn’t, as I couldn’t give a tuppeny fuck for my ex wife now, and to think I could have ended it all because of her seems ridiculous.
    The whole experience has made me a stronger person, and a happier one, as I have confronted my problems, changed what I can, and forgiven myself for what I can’t.
    I think there are many who have experienced this, and I truly feel sorry for those that couldn’t see past the pain to a better time, and went through with it.

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