Wimminz who don’t STFU

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Women who wont shut the fuck up when they don’t know shit

Dear Mrs CuntyMort had a brain freeze when I was putting up two noggins in a ceiling so I can mount a strip light and KNOW the fuckers fixed firmly. Whinge and fucking whine, I was watching something, well get your arse out here now says I.

She goes off on one and got am imperial fuck off for her pains, fucking cunts want to help but if you ask oh brother. When the ceilings done shes putting the strip light up. CUNT

Nominated by: CuntyMort

87 thoughts on “Wimminz who don’t STFU”

  1. WTF?

    My missus didn’t get where she is today by putting strip lights up her cunt.

  2. Oh Cuntymort..šŸ˜•
    Youll never be Gender equality in the workplace minister with that foul mouthed attitude.
    Haven’t you learnt yet that dropping a tool, preferably a heavy screwdriver or hammer on her head speaks louder than words?
    Dont show irritation, simply give her a scalp wound then rush to her aid showing concern!

    “Jeepers! You ok luv?”

    “Gosh, you don’t look well have a sit down”

    Once shes apologised for distracting you, and stemmed the heavily bleeding wound you can carry on unhindered.
    They soon learn.
    My missus has 15 centre partings.

    • Have you ever took Mrs M to work in the van Miserable? ‘Accidently’ forget her at a service station if the nagging gets a bit too much.

      • @LL
        Ive just seen on the news that the binmen might be going on strike?!
        And had a brainwave!
        I’ll collect binbags for Ā£5 a bag and dispose of it legally for anyone white.
        Rubbish building up is a health hazard, and attracts rats.
        Chinese will welcome the rats,
        Straight in the wok,
        But no one else does.
        So come on binnys,
        I dare you to strike!
        šŸ“šŸ“

      • Bin strikes, energy crisis and a millions out of work, its just like the 70’s!

        The peacefuls probably live in ghettos similar to Techno’s Dhaka nomination so won’t notice for a few months.

  3. You should have put on the vacuum cleaner straight away cuntyMort when finishing the job and followed her into every room without saying anything just to tidy up of course

  4. My business partner has the futile strategy of doing EVERYTHING his wife wants and not telling her to STFU. She micromanages him and he is pathetic because he thinks it will result in peace but there is no peace. I keep my mouth shut as it’s not my place but if she ever dares to treat me the same…
    She seems to have gotten the vibe that I am a man not a doormat and so far no ugly encounters.

  5. If I’m doing any job and the missus decides to impart her seasoned knowledge I just down tools and fuck off.
    Oh I wasn’t interfering! Too late now I sulk, get on with it.
    Tea or coffee only now, no advice.

  6. WIFES – Will It Fucking Ever Shutup.
    Mrs Mitten is generally quite good though sometimes decides she wants to spark up a conversation when Iā€™m watching something.
    Mentions something needs doing but doesnā€™t nag. Overall Iā€™m lucky.

  7. I’ve learned from bitter experience not to speak to the wife unless absolutely necessary. Once I start her off she never stops.

    Often she’ll come into the room unbidden and for half an hour launch straight into whatever nonsense her evil shit-for-brains mother and idiot brother have been getting up to before clocking that I’m doing my damnedest not to listen.

    Likely as not this will happen while I’m posting on ISAC. That said, she’s got a heart of gold and I wouldn’t be without her.

  9. I learnt early to stop doing any work for Mrs Fistula because she does nothing but moan about the most tiny detail.
    If she wants anything done now she has to get a tradesman in and she has to pay the poor cunt.
    But if his work is not to her obsessive standard she wants me to complain to him the cheeky cow.
    No cunt will come round now because of her pedantic behaviour.

  11. If a man does something and a woman isnā€™t around to tell him heā€™s doing it wrong, is it still wrong?

  12. I was initially a bit bemused by this nom but then it occurred to me that if anything electrical, plumbing or mechanical is to be installed or repaired she assumes I know what I’m doing and leaves me to it. If it’s anything concerning cosmetics or decorating etc. around the house that’s her area and I don’t demur. Not sure there’s anything useful you can draw from this, I guess we’re just old-fashioned.

  13. Do not overly involve a woman on any job.
    Do not try to explain the logistics involved
    Do not show them any drawings or plans as you will be changing every fucking detail because they understand ergonomics better than anyone trained for such matters.
    Because if you change details to suit there whims you fucked ,either way she will make out ā€œthat is not what I meantā€ and end up with a bollocks of a job.

    • Just in the interests of fairness , not all women are like that but fuck me when you meet one itā€™s to many already

      • My other half can mend anything and make use of almost anything he finds in skips and in the road etc, it amazes me and has saved us loads of money and grief, plus he enjoys it so I don’t interfere and let him get on with it. It can be amusing sometimes, like when a neighbour reports to me that they saw him climbing out of a skip on the main road at 7am, or when I pass a box of old rusty doorknobs and bolts on a garden wall a few streets away, and know with absolute certainty they will end up at my house. Even managed to make a device that electrocuted slugs making their way up to our strawberries, and a trip wire device that chucks a bucket of water over trespassing cats. A bit like Q from James Bond, with a much lower budget.

    • Nail on the head there.
      I’m just renovating a house and after a replastering job she decided not enough sockets.(hairdryer thing)
      Sunk the electrics and Ariel into the wall for a flat screen and today she says, shall we get a TV stand.
      I’ve drilled through for an outside tap and that’s wrong too.
      Women eh
      Can’t live with em
      and
      Can’t live with em.

  14. I don’t mind women having rights. When the bang on about them and expect to be paid the same and do less work takes the piss frankly.

    If a bloke and a woman goes for the same job during probation, they should be paid the same. Then after probation is over they should negotiate the pay after that in interview. If the women beats the bloke fair play. The market dictates the pay not gender. Although they always have you by the short and curlies because they are just none paid prostitutes. It just comes out the salary instead.

    • Clown@
      I agree,
      If a job has a fixed salary a woman should be paid the same as a man.
      Some women are leaders in their chosen fields, and are capable, skilled, and innovative.
      Obviously not if it involves reversing a car!
      But im no sexist, and even though joking above Id never mistreat my missus,
      Im fiercely loyal and would never cheat.
      Although I’ve plenty of prejudice
      Women aren’t one of them.

      • Same here never cheated on my past misses, fucked a few married ones though. Not by choice, just ended up that way in Magaluf.

      • Sorry Mis but there’s the story of of when Madge went bush bashing in her Defender around Balmoral with the Saudi crown prince. He was apaleptic with fear as she was facing him in the back seat whilst driving by instinct. God bless her dark humour.

  15. My dad always used to say that it did women good to take up knitting. It gives them something to think about while they’re talking.

  16. My wife told me a few days ago that according to some feminista on Facebook, if your “male partner” buys you traditional female-related Christmas gifts, then the woman should “reject them for being sexist and misogynist”

    Therefore, if you’re thinking of buying your “partner” (can’t call them “wife” or “the missus” anymore), a box of chocs, perfume, sexy undies…. don’t, otherwise you’ll be nicked for hate crime.

    • Ive bought the missus chocolate knickers in the past Techno,
      She didn’t seem offended?!

    • Buy her a 250cc Trial bike, a new snap on toolbox, .22 rimfire with Leupold scope and a bottle of 25 year old single malt šŸ‘

      • My other half told me that , as I had a birthday last week, I could have some new windscreen wipers as a present, as the current ones are playing up and I do spend some time in the car, just made me laugh really!

  17. If you married for conversation, you fucked up BIG mister!
    (Ā©ļøLieutenant Harris, Police Academy).

    A wise man once told me, agree with everything they say for a quiet life.
    How fucking boring is that!
    A good row keeps things interesting.

    I once had a ā€œgirlfriendā€ who was a stunning redhead, who was an Astrophysicist-she probably found me a dull conversationalist šŸ˜™
    Fortunately we spent most of the time at gigs or making the beast with two backsšŸ˜€šŸ‘

  18. If I DON’T get said items for the wife, I’ll never hear the fucking last of it.
    Honestly, women.
    Now, where did I put that Ann Summers catalogue?

  19. Have you ever sat in the back of a car with 2 Wimminz in the front? Not only do you get GBH of the earoles with their incessant rabbit but every 3 or 4 seconds they turn to look at each other. You are sitting there thinking…..for fucks sake keep your fucking eyes on the road!!
    Terrified though you are you canā€™t say anything because they will both turn round and tell you to stop fucking moaning.
    Thank fuck they have seat belts in the back these days but best to avoid this situation in the first place. Itā€™s bad enough Wimminz driving but no way should they be allowed to have another one in the car with them.

    • Sit in the front with one that is yattering, and try not to notice how many times both hands come off the wheel to gesticulate.

  20. Cake.

    The news today concerns cake. A police officer has been sacked for paying 10p for a jaffa cake at the tuck shop rather than what it should have cost; Ā£1:00.
    And a bakery has been closed for using ‘Illegal sprinkles’.’The shop, called Get Baked, was visited by agents on October 1 who told them they ā€˜must cease use of [the] sprinkles with immediate effectā€™.

    ‘They bakery was closed for a while’.

    A bit draconian cunters? In both cases I think.

    • A quid? For a fucking Jaffa cake? Thatā€™s daylight fucking robbery!
      Some cunt should be arrested for that.

      Oh, wait a minute…..we donā€™t do that anymore.

      • It is my understanding that the officer’s intention was to hand out the Jaffa Cakes to those brave Insulate Britain demonstrators sellotaped to the Queen’s highway.

        Clearly no good deed goes unpunished. šŸ™

    • What has that bakery in Leeds biscuits and most town centres in Yorkshire have in common?

      Both have been fucked by hundreds and thousands of illegal colouredā€™sšŸ˜‰

      • Yorkshire couple retire to Spain. They’re unpacking on day one, when the woman says, “Oh bu gger, thas’ forgetten bloody gravy. Aye up though, I think thas an English couple livin’ t’across roo-ahd. Seth, can thee go an’ see if they can spare t’any until I go t’ shoppin’ t’morrow?”

        “Aye love,” says Seth.

        Seth knocks on the door, a bloke answers and Seth says, “Ahst any Bisto?” and the man says, “Fuck off you Spanish cunt.”

        (Bernard Manning)

    • 100% when the EU actually signed off the cladding (Which I will add come on the whole from a French Company) on their pet projects of cladding whilst dumping the worlds worst on us. So who is responsible the EU C or British Fire Safety or Private Testing? Who’s to blame? No one! That’s who!

      When I grew up in the local paper you had planning permission and deaths. Pretty boring on the whole. Now the internet is gone stratospheric, they ignore the original points and go to woke crap.

      • The point I’m making is they are stopping other countries from trading because they think they’re all great.

      • No not a Ā£1 for one jaffa cake. I got it wrong Freddie.

        ‘A police officer has been sacked after taking two packets of Jaffa Cakes from a charity stall without paying full price.

        PC Chris Dwyer paid 10p for the confectionery, and then claimed he had paid the correct amount of Ā£1’

      • And the chairperson of the tribunal was one Akbar Kahn.
        Poor copper had as much chance as Derek Chauvin.

      • @MP

        He gets sacked over a packet of Jaffa cakes, and yet that useless Metropolitan police chief, Dick, is still hanging onto her job despite her incompetence over a huge rise in crime, and murders in the Smoke!

      • True enough Techno.

        Its the pettiness of it. It was a charity stall. Presumably a tin. He might just have thought you had to make a donation.

        Who was the person who dobbed him in I wonder? It says they went through the amount of money collected and it was 90p out.

        I dont know…how much are coppers paid? He has lost say his 30,000 pound a year job for 90p.

        I have a lorry driver mate and he was fighting for his job over 1 tin of tuna. He was reinstated but it was a close call.

        On the other hand I have a teacher friend and he will take books, not pay on the train. Always looking for something for nothing. Illeagal or not.

        And the copper dug a hole for himsel if you read the report. Saying he put in 20p pieces where none were found.

        What is the famous quote? ‘What a tangled web we weave ..(forgot)….to deceive’.

      • How many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he has not ripped off a charity? I know I have.

        Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

      • Neither have I, to be honest.

        I just wanted to make the poor little corrupt policeman feel better about his wretched self.

        It must be very stressful having to investigate all those non-crime hate incidents, day in, day out.

    • He deserves not to be a upholder of good practice Miles
      Fucking trying to lie his way out ,if true of course
      No better than the shit heā€™s supposed to apprehend

  21. For sale.
    43 year old girlfriend. Slight wear to the corners
    6.1 foot tall, Dark hair, blue eyes.
    Great Tits for her age.
    Please note incapable of DIY or cooking
    Ā£14.99 starting bid or buy it now Ā£25.00
    P+P Ā£7.50 second class recorded
    Seller rating 100%

    • 6ā€™ 1ā€? Sheā€™s not Olive Oil is she?
      Hold on, sheā€™s not a New Zealand Olympic weightlifter is she?
      I think iā€™ll pass on this one mate.

      • I wish I’d passed on it as well.
        Funny you say Olive oil. She’s obsessed with me eating greens, she whines loads, she’s clumsy and a nightmare.. I’ve got tattoos and smoke. Oh my god I’m dating a cartoon bitch….. Betty boo, Jessica rabbit, Cadbury Carmel bunny or even Betty Rumble would of been better..

      • I’m afraid not that function is broken. But still her tits make up for it..
        Happy to trade for any vintage beta max tapes you may have..

  22. I had a date with a bird who I’d wanted to fuck for ages. At the time I was dossing down on a mate’s sofa, so the plan was to take her out to dinner then get her back to my parents place and bang her senseless in their bedroom.
    Everything went well but just as we’re peeling each other’s clothes off she says, “Are you sure we should be doing this, after all this is our first date.? And do you really think you should be fucking me in your parents bedroom.?”
    I said, “Don’t worry about it, just ignore them.”….

  23. I’m lucky mine is fairly quiet. Only time I’d day she’s a pain sticking her oar in is if I try and cook. She’s got a bit of the ‘You don’t wanna do it like that, you wanna do it like this,” when it comes to cooking, so I don’t bother trying much now.

    Suits me, I’m a fucking lazy cunt when home. I can say, “Can you make me spag bol? I’d do it myself, but you just won’t let me without taking over anyway” and she smiles and gets cooking.

    Sorted.

    • I do all the cooking and washing up. She does all the washing, ironing and toilets. We are both strangers to the hoover.

  24. My missus is an expert on the things she doesnt do – gardening, baking bread, dog walking, cooking, shopping.
    In all these things I listen and learn.

  25. When I have glazed over, I get “you’re not interested in what I’m saying are you?”. Difficult to reply to that without digging a bigger hole.
    It’s like the Simpson’s dog listening to the family ‘blah blah blah walk blah blah blah food blah blah blah’
    STFU.

  27. On the subject of wimmin with big gobs, I see Adele still sounds like Adele then….

    Utter fucking crap. A cruise ship singer at best. The female James Blunt at worst. Absolute garbage.

    (I have just this minute processed a nom all about Adildo. Due to be scheduled in the next few days – Day Admin)

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