Sequels Which Stink

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My daughter recently gave me a bag of old dvds for her mother and I to watch then pass on to a charity shop once we’re done.
(Do charity shops accept Swedish schoolgirl lesbian porn DVDs? I’m asking for a friend – NA)

Last night we watched ‘Basic Instinct 2’, which left me asking of those responsible for this cringeworthy effort of a film, ‘are you joking, or what?’. There’s laughably bad plotting and dialogue. There are sex scenes more risible than raunchy, and acting performances so wooden as to resemble the efforts of a set of cricket stumps. All combine to make this a stand-out effort when it comes to the production of stink the place out sequels.

We know why they do it, of course. A studio lands itself a smash hit, and straight away the suits and bean-counters are looking to cash in with a sequel or sequels. This invariably results in an inferior re-tread of the original, which may end up exploiting the initial concept to the point where the audience’s credibility is stretched to the limit. Think ‘Jaws 3-D’, or ‘Die Hard; Die Harder Another Day With a Vengence’ or whatever the hell it was called.

The missus chipped in with a couple of her ‘favourites’ which have my complete endorsement, these being the shameful cash-in ‘Speed 2; Cruise Control’ and the shite ‘Independence Day’ follow-up.

I’ve come to the conclusion that any sequel to a much-loved film should be avoided like a dose of the clap. I prefer to remember the originals of ‘Die Hard’ and ‘The Matrix’ in all their glory, mentally consigning the follow-ups to the bargain bin in Tesco.

I’ll leave all connoisseurs of film sequel cuntitude with a reminder of my own ‘favourite’, the utter nadir that is ‘Grease 2’. Enjoy!

Don’t click this – you’ll thank me later.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

111 thoughts on “Sequels Which Stink”

  1. The Alien franchise – prequels and sequels (Alien and Aliens excepted)
    Terminator franchise after T2
    Jaws after the original
    Dirty Harry films after Magnum Force, perhaps The Enforcer
    Halloween franchise after the 1978 original
    Die Hard after II perhaps III at a push
    The Exorcist/Paranormal Activity/Blair Witch sequels

    Horses
    Dead
    Flogging
    Studios

  2. Does this include TV series’? Westworld season one The Maze was really good. Season two was fucking awful and I gave season three up after one episode.

  3. It’s all about the spondulix in Hollywoke.
    If a film is successful, a sequel – even though it may not be logical, needed or wanted and may even at worse, be detrimental to the integrity of the original, is virtually inevitable thanks to the greedy minds of pressuring studio executives.
    Who can forget the atrocity that was Jaws: The Revenge for instance. Who the fuck came up with THAT idea?!

  4. The fact that most movies and TV are shit tells me that people want shit. That means the world is full of cunts. No surprise.

  5. You cannot remake a classic film, it just doesn’t fucking work.
    Has anyone ever said…” i’m going to paint the Mona Lisa again…. but this time it will be much better?”
    Fuck off they have.

  7. Only Fools and Horses after they found the watch and became millionaires.
    Where as Fawlty Towers at 12 episodes was perfect.

  8. Swedish schoolgirl lesbian porn??
    Does Greta keep her yellow oilskin on?

    Slightly off tangent, but I find most remakes are shite too. All Creatures Great and Small, Tinker, Tailor (ruined by Bendadick Cumpatch), Murder on the Orient Express (ruined by Wankagh and Judi Stench)… Sadly, it’s a long list.

    • NA – no, charity shops don’t accept Swedish schoolgirl lesbian porn DVDs. But I do.

      Oi – I saw them first. Again, for a friend. – NA.

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