Losing Your MoJo at 60+

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“You’ve lost that loving feeling”

Do you know something cunters, getting older is definitely a cunt, but this cunting is about finally admitting your sliding towards the coffin,

At the grand old age of 66 I’ve realised that Lady Quimson, is no longer the Rhodesian hottie I first met on holiday back in Beira in 1973, she was 19 and I was 18,

She was a real fuckable filly I must say, but 48 years later, those looks are gone, and after 50 years of smoking, her pukka looks like a map of the London Underground. And after 4 kids, even with her quite trim figure that lusting I had all those years ago have faded like cheap paint,

My cunting is a simple one, cherish your youth, because if you blink you’ll miss it, sex after 60 is pointless, enjoy it before you just want to be asleep before 9pm. (I’m sure our esteemed and Northumberland cad-about-town, Lord Dick Fiddler might have something to say about that – Day Admin)

(P.S, anyone using Viagra before the age of 60 is a fucking disgrace, keep the pork sword stiff)

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

46 thoughts on “Losing Your MoJo at 60+”

    • Ostensibly the venom of a Brazilian Wandering Spider can cause this rather startling side effect.
      I might be tempted therefore to recommend procuring one of these delightful eight legged critters to all those struggling with the dreaded dong droop.
      However, the other side effect of the spiders venom is death in about ninety minutes so perhaps not the best remedy after all…..

  3. Captain you are younger than me, but you are quite right. It’s depressing, but I wouldn’t touch the spouse with a bargepole. That’s been true since 1968 though. Even lovely Lisa would have to give me a few days notice if she wanted to get her fun bags out for me.

  4. Well, I too am 66 but I still enjoy the old rumpy-pumpy. Admittedly not with the same frequency but then it is always quality which counts not quantity. I suppose having a younger (52) wife who remains blonde and busty helps. And I prefer herbal rather than chemical capsules.

    To suggest any fellows who need a bit of a boost if they are less than 60 are pathetic is harsh. Many men run out of steam in their 40s or 50s. Even if you find your partner very attractive the blood doesn’t flow in a flood to the vital parts like it used to. And it’s not just about reaching your peak but staying there.

  5. Where Mrs Fistula is concerned i have become a real George Roper.
    I am 64 and have no interest.
    But it’s not all bad , there’s a couple of hot birds at work that give me the raging horn.

  6. My wife, 55, has the tits of a twenty year old, with a horny as fuck body that hasnt changed in 20 years.She blows me at least 4 time a week so im looking forward to the next 20 years.

  7. The cunt Alec Baldwin is 63, and he doesn’t shoot blanks!!
    I had never heard of until he murdered one of his directors.

    • It was the cinematographer (person who does the lighting and camera moves). Fuck knows what actually happened, but for something like that to happen in 2021 is insane. Why was he pointing and firing a gun at the cinematographer? Madness. Baldwin is a colossal ass-cunt and has been well-established as a colossal ass-cunt for many decades. Just a hotheaded egomaniac who doesn’t like playing second fiddle to the big stars, is my take on this dangerous douchebag. Good actor, not great, and one who needed to have taken a daily dose of chill pills long ago, but didn’t and now he’ll face court and will forever be “that actor who killed a DP” because he’s a loose cannon nutjob.

      • Yes.
        And also vice president of the West Hollywood shooting club
        And member of the High Noon wild west reenactment society.

        Yeeeehaaa!!
        Go fer yer gun pardner,
        Im Eric the Kid, rootenist tootenist sixshooter this side of the Rio Grande!
        Yeeee
        Haaaaa.*

        * Exerpt from his police statement.

  9. Mainstream people might scoff, but for getting your mojo back on track, 3 grams of magic mushrooms will do far more good than any mass-produced toxic pharmaceutical products.

    • “Mojo” was what the shaman would carry in his bag. No one really knows what “mojo” was exactly, but yeah it could have been psilocybin mushrooms. In East Africa, there’s “iboga” which “breaks open the head” and your ancestors come pouring in! Oh Jeeeeeeeeeeeeesus…

  10. The staff at the old folks home give my grandad Viagra every night, even though he is 97 years old and single.
    They reckon it stops him rolling out of bed during the night….

  11. This kind of picture of an older couple always appears in adverts for life insurance, pension schemes and Viagra. They are always slim with white hair and are having a great time. Laughing their heads off as their false gnashers gleam in the sun. The ads never show a fat bald guy with a ratty moustache and bad teeth and his walrus-shaped wife with cheesy veined elephant legs and dress sense of an Albanian gypsy´s great grandmother.

  12. That “Don’t Know Why” song (Norah Jones) that came out several years ago – perfect for old couples in their 70s and 80s to have sex to. I bet that is why she wrote it.

  13. Being a deviant has got me this far and I have no intention of lowering the colours.

    Mrs Terry may well have other ideas however.

    • The idea of old people shagging turns my tripe.
      Like two iguanas fighting,
      Like a scene from a Ray Harryhausen film.
      Like that gaptoothed cunt Mad donna.
      Needs bromide in her cocoa.
      Because shes got rheumatoid arthritis her knuckles are all swollen!
      Doesn’t stop her fingering herself every hour though.

      • That picture above?
        Old lady screaming in pain as Albert steptoe forces her backdoors open.
        Sickening.
        The things that go on in Sunny acres retirement home.

      • ‘Iguana’s fighting’.

        The old people up your way must look fucking weird, hahaha.

  14. Women’s faces and bodies deteriorate markedly with the passing of time.

    Passed a woman on the next street this weekend, I am guessing at around fifty five years old, absolutely immaculate condition, face, body, everything. Magazine quality.

    Some women have the right genes, others do not. Some women look after themselves with diet , exercise, lifestyle, others do not.

    I have always regularly used escorts and prostitutes over last past thirty years, they offer fine sport. Met some amazing women over the years, British ones and foreign ones from all over the world.

    Even when a man had erection troubles he could still appreciate a woman. My opinions.

    Even if I were to one day suffer a total erection failure I feel I could still enjoy women in the context of e.g. spanking, massage, face sitting, French kissing, in fact lots of things you could do even if you old chap was flaccid.

    I also love the company of women when I am not paying for them.

    About four opportunities to get married, and have children, I never wanted to.

    I have lived with women e.g. periods of two or three years. I don’t think it would really suit me on a permanent basis.

    Children, I find them noisy, disruptive, annoying.

    Over time I have preferred to choose a selection of women. Just like cars, wine, beer, food, I have found to enjoy a various variety of women. I never wanted to commit to just one only.

    I don’t follow the theories of monogamy, sticking with one only for 20, 30, 40, 50 years.

    Best regards,

  15. Get one of them brasses to stick their finger up your arse Dave.
    Ron Knee swears by it!
    Probably charge you a fiver?
    And as a gentleman have a glass of water handy or a rag she can clean her finger with.
    But yeah,
    Finger up the hoop apparently its like a visit from angels.
    👍

    • Remind me not to share the “finger buffet” with the “Knees”, at this years IsAC Christmas party😳

    • Too bleeding right Chief.
      A prostate massage from a woman who knows what she’s about is the nearest thing to heaven you’ll find this side of the veil!

  16. I think as you get older, your needs change.

    As a youngster, it was about quantity-I spent several years juggling 3 girls-North, South, Midlands. I am not proud of that-on reflection it was total cuntitude.

    As I got older-later 20’s, it was about quality and quantity.

    Now it’s about quality. I would never want to have cold, perfunctory sex. No satisfaction there, you may as well “knock one out”.

    I think one of the biggest “passion killers” is when people let themselves go.
    I did a nom about this 👍

  17. My missus is 90 at Christmas.

    Her face looks like the Mappa Mundi.

    I wince when I see her naked after a bath, or in the morning.

    She used to be a stunner. Big jugs, auburn hair, cute dimples in her cheeks. Yet 60 years has ruined everything that I found attractive about her.

    Now she looks like Skellator in cheap drag.

    But she is still my best friend,- and always will be.
    I’m selfishly shitting myself incase she carks it before me.

    I used to have a genuine 7 inches about 40 years ago. Now I have 4 inches of shrivelled up foreskin with nothing inside. (Think a sausage roll with no middle in and just the pastry.)

    My sex life died about 25 years ago, when I was around 60 ish, – never to return.

    • Jesus Dick, almost got me in tears that pal.
      But look at it this way,
      You sowed your wild oats,
      You married a stunner,
      And got all that time together.
      Its a win in my book brother.👍

  18. Tired of looking at worn out, wrinkly old reptiles that resemble Gail Tilsley after being through a hot wash and left in the laundry basket that you slept with last night? ? (I’ll just let you savour that image for a moment) Do what I did and move to Asia. The women here are hot as fuck, love a great time and live to please their men.

  19. At least some of you have a sex life.
    I am in my late forties and it died many years ago.
    Thanks to the other half having disabilities.
    That, the medication, and her dislike for her body, has led to a total loss of libido.
    I always thought I would be at it until I dropped.
    Fate has decided otherwise, and I have to live with a sexless existence until the day I leave this earth.
    Totally unfair as I am not dead from the waist down yet.
    But not her fault either, with the cards that have been dealt her.
    She is a wonderful mother, partner and friend, with lots of endless positive qualities.
    At least kissing and cuddling aren’t off the table I suppose.

    Ron Knees tales of sexual deviancy are an enviable joy to read.
    I live vicariously through his adventures.
    A legend in my book when it comes to bedroom capers.

  20. To me, sex isn’t everything. I’d much rather sit down with a cup of tea and slice of cake. Then rest my eyes for a bit.

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