Equity Release for Stupid People

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Cunts that whinge when the chickens come home to roost.

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The greedy old trout must have realised what was involved…it’s the same as those fuckers who get involved in dodgy “get-rich-quick” schemes and then moan when they get ripped off.

It must have occurred to her that if you borrow £300+K and haven’t paid any interest back in years that there would be a bob or two to find when matters came to a head.

There must have been an accountant when her husband died who explained what was involved…although I suspect she knew all along what was involved but is now hoping that she can shame the lender into reducing her debt.

I hope that they tell her to write them a cheque for every Penny and then to Fuck Off.

Hungry old Cunt.

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

51 thoughts on “Equity Release for Stupid People”

  1. These schemes are pushed at us all the time. You would have to be fucking demented to sign up. Presumably the sharks selling these schemes prey on the actual demented.

  2. Her and her husband got gifted the place as a fucking wedding present? Worth well over a million I bet.

    Different world lol.

    My heart bleeds. Couldn’t she just stay in the property and pay fuck all until she croaks? It seems that was the whole point of the deal. To free up money during retirement.

    But oh no. Seems like too much hard work maybe taking care of the place, so let me have my million after not paying a mortgage for 13 years.

    Silly trout. Just don’t sell up and stop whining. There are ex servicemen on the streets. She can live rent/mortgage free in a big fucking house. For life.

    Boo fucking hoo.

    • “My heart bleeds. Couldn’t she just stay in the property and pay fuck all until she croaks? It seems that was the whole point of the deal. To free up money during retirement.”

      I, too, thought that was the point of these schemes, judging by the adverts I’ve seen? Raddled old trout.

  3. It’s the same with Bitcoin investors, or anyone that dabbles in things they have no real understanding or control over, especially the stock market.

    I remember the Thatcher era of privatisation, and ordinary people being able to buy shares into companies like BT. All very nice when share values go up and people are making a nice profit. But as soon as there’s a stock market “correction” and those values fall, everyone is up in arms demanding their original investment + compo returned to them pronto.

    Then of course was the Lloyds Names scandals back in the late 80s. What a joy that was to read about!

  4. She still walks away with a million give or take. Gifted it for nothing, walks away with a million. I’d settle for that.

  6. No sympathy, the deal was shit and if they were stupid enough to sign up to it then it’s just tough luck, I wonder if she had her husband insured (Sun life ‘for the family’)

    Free money available at Shyster and Shyster, loans for the terminally stupid.

  7. Equity Release will be the new PPI scandal and, yes, you have to be a mug to fall for it but the fact remains that the real cunts are the ones selling it. Just when you could bequeath loads of money to that nice Rishi Sunak these bastards jump out of nowhere and steal it. Far better to give your house to a boatload of dingy raiders right now than let these cunts steal the value of it.😁

  8. I suppose the only positive about equity release is that you get some money in your pocket, ok you loose a good chunk of the value on the home when it’s sold but it could be you loose the lot if you go into residential care.

    • Is that scheme still viable? That one where you sign over your house to your kid/s and as long as you’re fine for 7 years, the government/local authorities can’t touch it if you need someone to clean up your dribble/wipe your arse, etc?

    • My understanding was that equity release was for the desperate but it could just about work in one’s favour depending on the predicted rise in house prices over the terms of the loan.

      Farms may be a different matter, but clearly those buying the equity are quids in.

      • I can understand it if you have nobody you want to inherit…why not get a few quid out of it while you’re alive?…but you’d have to be fucking sure that you never wanted to sell and move somewhere smaller in the future.

      • House prices might just crash over the next 18 months if you believe on the Bank of England’s warnings about the need to increase interest rates to cool down inflation and wage rises.

        The current BoE base rate of interest is 0.1%, but the banks set a higher rate when they loan money to businesses and individuals.

        An increase of just 0.5% on the base rate could mean something similar or higher set by the banks on mortgages, which could dampen house prices.

  9. Her husband, who died in 2013, was responsible for filing the statements that showed how the debt was growing.
    So she hasn’t opened any post for eight years?
    Oh, come off it! If you think anyone will believe that, you truly are as thick as you appear to be.

  10. This sort of loan was invented by cunts for cunts.

    The only reason this owd bag has gone public is to try to leverage some sort of refund.

    Good luck with that.

  11. It’s seems obvious to me that Sir Fiddler is banging this old trout and has persuaded her to leave her farm to him in her will.
    Now he’s found out some other cunts own a big chunk of it and he’s fucking furious.
    Still, at least he won’t have to arrange that “accident” now. If I can work it out even Inspector Strapon could suss the cunt.

    • That poor woman, destitute.
      Rather than gloating Dick,
      You should for once do the decent thing and marry her.
      Your not going to get anything better and its a regular legover?
      And she can probably cook,
      She can definitely eat,
      Fat cunt.

  12. Somebody correct me if I’m wrong, because maybe I’ve genuinely got this all wrong, but it seems that she’s moaning after she got given a home as a wedding present, worth about £2 million (today).

    Then, to fuck over their own kids and enjoy the high life during retirement, her and her late husband did some equity release deal, which made them not have to make any mortgage repayments up to the death of both of them, when the debt would be paid off.

    After 13 years of not paying anything to live in a beautiful and huge home, she can walk away with 1 million quid. For a home she got for free. And lived in rent and mortgage free for 13 years.

    And she’s moaning?

    What an entitled fucking cunt if this is the case. If true, I hope they suddenly find another 2 mill owed, to really give her something to cry about.

    Fuck me I’d love a ‘problem’ like hers.

    • Yes, it certainly puts into perspective how lucky we are doesn’t it?
      Glad im not burdened with how to spend a million and how my savings have grown over 13yrs and one less mouth to feed.

  13. Women and mone. Tsk.

    Actually that’s a bit unfair. If my aunty wasnt a bank manager she’d be a loan shark.

  14. This greedy cunt should be miss-sold a lemon curd tart and some exploding bog roll.

    • The real reason that Mike Brewer and Edd China fell out was because Mike tried to bum Edd when he was bent over doing some welding.
      He’s famous for it…he also tried tried it on with Ant Antant so he left and now there’s a new chap who looks like he might be a little more receptive to Mike’s sinister tendencies.
      “Old owt yer ‘and”
      “I’d rather not, Mike. Yours looks like it had vaseline on it…”

  16. Easy come, Easy go I suppose

    Stupid gullible greedy fucking cunt!!!

    she’s still a million quid better off than most cunts though!!!

  17. Equity release is for cunts and obviously there are sharks circling these poor old cunts desperate to lay filthy hands on their properties but think of it another way….

    I am comfortably well off and owe nothing on my house or anything else, I don’t do shitty finance cars, holidays or other electronic tat so I’m ok.

    If I die to today, all my hard work goes to my daughters and whatever feckless excuse for a male they happen to be in with at the time, all my hard work and good sense is suddenly wasted on shitey holidays, cars and 20 ft TV sets.

    I can see why pensioners take the money and have a good time, good on them and I wish I had the guts to do it myself.

    • Spanky-how rich?
      I am sure there are a few “mercenary cunts” on here who would turn “Elton John” for you😉

  19. Back in 2008 I injured my foot and had to take a week off. Sitting on the sofa watching Carol Vordman flogging ridiculous loans convinced me to sell my property. It went through 2 weeks before the shit hit the fan. The cunts up to the same old bollocks today. What a cunt.

  20. Fuck me, given a property that was worth a mill and then some shiny suit cunt ripped her off.

    Bit like my in-laws. A few years back they walking around like billy big bollocks, investing her, there, every time you spoke with them new words like portfolio and shares were dribbling out of their mouths – enjoy listening to the sound of own voices, chat thing like they’re a pair of Gordon Geckos.

    That was until some Romanian property investment firm sold them some pony dream of new properties in the mountains (we all told them they were fucking mad trusting a bunch of Gippo’s but they pressed ahead – “they’re honest, nice people, really they are..!).

    5 years on, some cunt in lucky heather land has about £100K and nothing to show my in-laws. Some cunty Romany Solicitor then got his palms greased up and sold the properties on for a loss – last we all heard this Romanian pikey who bought them has made a killing – looks like a right fit up if you ask me.

    Never trust anyone with a horse and cart.

  21. No matter what they call it. It is a secured Loan

    In a country where house prices go up every year, these loan sharks will reap vast rewards. Your only hope is that the property markets collapse, never to recover again. And trust me, with all the cunts arriving upon our beaches on a daily ( almost scheduled ) basis, that ain’t ever gonna happen.

  22. I know I’m seventy years old now but it doesn’t seem so long ago that received wisdom was that absolutely the very last thing you did if you were up against it financially was take out an equity release loan. Now this scam is being pushed everywhere, much of it by people who once were regarded as respectable. It is though only one of numerous money grabbing vehicles which in former times were recognised for the frauds that they are. When I retired last year I handed back the company car which was leased from one of the biggest companies in the business. A few weeks later I had an email from my former employer to say the leasing company wanted over £2000 to repair damage to the car. The car was 2½ years old with almost 70,000 miles on the clock. The list of tiny scratches with prices in the hundreds of pounds was hilarious. The most striking one was a figure of more than £400 to strip off and repaint the roof because a bird had shat on it! I kid you not! What compounds the fraud to my mind is that the man in charge at the leasing company openly admits on the net that they do not carry out any repairs or refurbishment, the cars go straight to auction. My former employer thought he was going to extort this money out of me. He is more likely to see the sun rise in the west.

  23. I read this story in the paper recently. As the old saying goes, a fool and their money are easily parted.

  24. Looks like a hippo on ecstasy, and the dog looks vaguely like a springer spaniel – all is explained. Like mistress, like dog – negative IQ.

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