The Birthday Cake Game

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I often put Radio 4 Extra on for a bit of light relief, as there is some good stuff on there, but there is also a load of unmitigated shite, usually made recently, to be avoided.

The most recent example is The Birthday Cake Game – presented by Richard Osman, in which two or three smug so- called comedians are asked to guess the age of various celebrities. They then ring up a member of the public and ask them questions, in order to guess that persons age.

When you consider the great comedies and characters this country has produced, it is a truly depressing spectacle, and as an idea for entertainment is arse-numbingly boring.

It speaks volumes that, when I heard the show, I had just got up after about three hours sleep due to noise from the house directly behind, and this show still made me feel like what was left of my brain was dying in my head.

Crap like this just should not be allowed. I really hope they pick my number to ring one day so I can call the cunts as many expletives as I can fit in, before they cut me off.

Birthday Cake Link

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

55 thoughts on “The Birthday Cake Game”

      • I always thought it was pointless. Richard Osman is as welcome in my home as a microwaved dog’s turd.

      • I thought it was a great concept for a show. Giving the most obscure answer as opposed to the most obvious was a breath of fresh air after Family Fortunes and other shows where it didn’t really test your knowledge. My favourite game show is Mastermind as it really tests your memory. Those shows where the answer is a piece of piss truly are ‘pointless’. The Krypton Factor was amazing, really wish they’d bring that back and have a massive cash prize of at least £10,0000. The whole men v women aspect would be ‘problematic’ to the woke brigade, though.

    • Osman should go and get a proper job – if he could!
      And why the fuck does he wear a dead squirrel round his neck?

  2. Osman is your typical BBC arse crawling wanker, he looks like Buddy Holly with gigantism. The ‘comedians’ are all his anti-Brexit, anti-Tory chums recycled from every shite panel show going, who are about as funny as a ballbag in your zipper.

  3. The R4Extra repeat is from the previous weeks 1830 Wireless 4 output. It is clear they scraped the barrel when they commisoned this shitshow. Radio still has that Uriah Heep relationship with TV – Old Dick does so much TV and he is willing to knock a couple of noughts off his fee to go slumming on radio. Lets tug our forelock and be grateful for any old tripe he cares to show at us.

    For one thing, with every “spontaneous” game show scripted to within an inch of it’s life the ages of all those dragged in will be well known with a little bit of research (there was an 1130 R4 programm yesterday on the “hilarious” Have I Got News For You (1990 – ) and, despite Merton and St Hislop’s off the cuff remarks that show has a scriptwriter…..

    Last year when Covid first came along the Mondays 1500 “Brain of Britain” was delayed due to lack of recordings so there was in as a replacement an impromptu quiz game, wherein the oldest undergraduate in the business Steve Punt put the questions, always finishing up with snide remarks about the government, even when there were no politics in the question.

    Incidentally, Wireless 4 still hasn’t managed to damage “Brain of Britain”, with sensible contestants (ordinary members of the public, no “celebrities”) an urbane host, Russell Davies and nobody playing to the gallery. An oasis in a sea of shit.

    Spare a thought though for the old washed up celebrities who populate the 1830 weekday Wireless 4 slot – where would Tony Hawkes, Lucy Porter, et al be without them – except at the Labour Exchange?

  5. I can’t bide Osman…he looks like he would peep over the partition wall while you were having a shit….and touch himself.

  6. Osman is a lanky, smug cunt.

    Apparently he has submitted hundreds of idea for game shows to the BBC.
    He considers himself as some sort of comedian on the show Pointless but he comes across like a complete cretin.
    Why anyone would want to appear on that show is beyond me.
    The prize money is a miserly thousand pound.

    His other show is even worse.
    He hosts 4 ‘celebreties’ who few people would recognise, who are all his ‘chums’.
    I doubt very much that any of these celebrities would want to spend more than a minute with the cunt outside of the TV studio.

  7. Theyd do well not to phone any of the ISAC inmates.

    “Not a dark key is he?”
    “Is he a puff?”
    ” Fuck off mithering”
    ” Your not getting any money”

    Christ.
    Be like thie Sex pistols on Bill Grundy.

    • How did you get this number ?
      Ring again and I’ll break your fucking legs.
      😂
      Morning, MNC.

      • Hehehe 😀
        “Your not from HMRC are you?’

        ” Im not having the covid jab, fuck off”.

        Richard Osman would rue the day he got any of us!
        Morning Jack👍

      • “Hello Richard, is this live?”
        “Yes, good afternoon.”
        “The BBC are a bunch of commie p00fs and pædophiles and so are you.
        And that cunt Lineker should be shot dead for treason.”
        And I still haven’t had a licence “officer” round my house, despite lots of pathetically threatening letters.

      • Morning,Jack

        I have had to revise my opinion of Cunts in motorhomes…I did wonder if it was you that I met.

        I had arranged to meet someone in a forestry carpark who was going to show me a job…unfortunately as we were stood talking,the Hound who comes everywhere with me must have smelled the bacon that was getting cooked in a motorhome at the other end of the site…invited or not,he’s always dressed for dinner and barged his way in to pull up a chair….I didn’t realise until I heard the shouts and saw the tin-tent pitching like a row-boat in a gale…I shot across making my apologies and called him out. The couple were actually really nice about it….a lot nicer than I’d have been if some wet,muddy beast the size of a Shetland pony had invaded my kitchen.

        This doesn’t mean that I won’t tip your motorhome into the Coquet river if you ever show up on my vast acreage.

        Morning,All.

      • Wasn’t us, Dick. If it had been, we would have gladly given him a couple of rashers.
        There’d be fuck all for you of course.
        Morning, Dick.

  8. The whole of society has gone backwards over the last twenty years. Everything, education, comedy, light entertainment, driving skills, compassion, being a good neighbour, immigration, customer service, the English language…..fucking everything.
    Ant and Dec are no comparison to the Two Ronnie’s or Morecombe and Wise.
    The world is fucked, have a nice day if you can.

  9. I hate gameshows.
    If one comes on I’ll flick over.
    Although Bullseye was good
    And Roy Walker was ok,
    “Say what you see”.
    And its going to be overhauled in the name of woke,
    You just watch.
    Ellie Symonds the water midget hosting the Generation Game and celebrity Squares with Nish Kumar.
    3-2-1 with Oscar Pistorius.

      • Morning Ruff,
        Mmm, know Mr Monkhouse was a consummate professional and a funny man with a legendary joke book,
        But never liked him.
        Had a ‘oily’ air about him.
        Like a used car salesman or yank tv evangelist.
        I imagine Bob to be the type to shave his balls and enjoyed being pissed on?
        Golden shot!!😀

      • PS: heard you was dahn sarf yesterday. If I’d known you were coming I’d have baked a shîtcake.

      • Yes! Darn sarf.
        It was very flat.
        And I didn’t enjoy it.
        I brought some intellectualism to Oxford.😀

      • I wrote and recorded a song about Bob Monkhouse. Called ‘Bob Monkhouse Blues’

        Woke up this morning baby
        Found Bob Monkhouse in the kitchen, yeah
        He was making breakfast for two
        I said “hey Bob, you got some breakfast for me?”
        He said “no, I only got breakfast for two.”
        I said “oh Bob, who else you makin’ breakfast for?”
        He said “I’m making breakfast for Anthea.”
        I said “Bob, ain’t Anthea Bruce Forsyth’s little girl?
        He said “yea, she’s been unfaithful to Bruce and come home with me.”
        I said “God! Why don’t you make us all a little breakfast boy?”
        Bob Monkhouse he hit me in the face then,
        With a gold chain around his neck!
        And I am blue.

        © RTC 1979

      • Hehehe 😀
        See now thats entertainment!
        Nothing like a robot wanking infront of a python to cheer up the audience.
        Why Transformers is shite.
        No self abuse.
        Morning Thomas!

  10. Another great BBC high-brow intellectual program. Before the BBC gave us Carl Sagan’s Cosmos and Kenneth Clarke’s Civilisation. Now they give us brain dead shite like the Birthday Game presented by that Frankenstein look-a-like Richard Osman.

    Cunts.

    • If you want high brow or factual MCMM wouldn’t bother with the BBC.
      Best documentaries ive seen in ages were on PBS America.
      America in colour was a riveting history series.
      David Attenborough is the BBC’s natural history go-to.
      But hes fuckin rubbish.
      Doesnt even give the animals silly voices!
      No.
      Johnny Morris was the pinnacle in that Field.
      Attenborough isnt fit to lick the elephant dung off Johnny’s wellies.

  15. Osman is just another fucking maggot crawling out of the expired body that was comedy. A loping smug supercilious mangina.

  16. Christopher Hitchins had the best description for Osman’s sort: “a stupid person’s idea of an intelligent person.”

  17. He’s just a “Dick’

    DFF excepted of course, I don’t want to be hunted down like Cool Hand Luke.
    Still shakin boss!

  18. What the fuck is Richard Osman for?

    He has no talent, is a fucking shite presenter with a nerdy awkward style. His ‘jokes’ are about as funny as a burning orphanage.

    Unless it’s an illusion, he seems to be about 7ft tall. If he’s ‘in proportion’, maybe the gays that run the BBC take his mammoth love sausage up their ringpieces, as bribes for Osman to get million squid presenting contracts?

  19. I fucking hate radio presenters / DJ’s. Most are bell end cocks who hold themselves in too high regard.

    Just put music on and shut the fuck up, especially that Evans and Kemp cunt.

    Don’t get me started on LBC though some of the cunts who phone in do deserve it.

  20. Agree with R4Extra being a curate’s egg. Some old comedy which is funny, some old comedy which crashed and burned due to not being funny, and old to antique non-comedic stuff which really highlights how utterly shit BBC radio has become since. The only output not obtained by loading up the elderly tape deck concerns woke little girls wittering about podcasts* which are thankfully not available on air and easily avoidable on the internet.

    The Birthday Cake Game, of which I incredulously heard three minutes before retuning to LBC News ( it may be incessant repeats, but at least the quality is consistent) is par for the course. A cheap repeat of an R4 schedule-filler. And in 30 years’ time you may still be listening to today’s episodes on R4 Extra. You may. Thankfully I’ll be dead.

    *Indistinguishable from programmes, but digital and therefore cool.

  21. Totally agree. Radio 4 extra is great for old radio but shite like this shows the decline in recent years. I heard this for the first time the other day and I couldn’t believe it got commissioned. Utter crap. Dont get me started on that fookin lezzer on Just a Minute either. CUNT.

  22. Having a spare 2 seconds I researched the following about Richard the Turk;

    He grew up in a place called Cuckfield (’nuff said).
    He is the younger brother of that bloke who played bass in Suede.
    He met Armstrong at the University of Oxbridge (hence the nepotism in getting his gurning mug on the screen).
    He is a cunt.

  23. Richard Osman loves his comedians who no cunt has ever heard of. They regular feature on his House of Games.

    They’re usually wimminz or black wimminz, sometimes North American or from the Southern hemisphere.
    All insufferable unfunny cunts.

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