Rubbish Song Lyrics & Rap

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Looking back, I realise that I’ve cunted songs and performers in various guises; done-to-death songs, boring songs, nauseating songs… I trust that another pop will not go amiss, this time aimed specifically at rubbish lyrics, by which I mean the self-indulgent, pompous, vacuous, or just plain cringeworthy.

This was kicked off yesterday when the wife put on Dylan’s ‘Bringing It All Back Home’. I was able to tolerate his nasal whine for so long, but then came ‘of war and peace the truth just twists, its curfew gull it glides, upon four-legged forest clouds, the cowboy angel rides’.

Now I’m sure that arty-farty types have droned on about the ironic imagery and visionary poetic lyricism of the words (or something), but honestly, I reckon that this song’s lyrics are a pile of pretentious wank.

Not for the first time, this took the missus and I on a trip to pick some of our favourite ludicrous lyrics. She chimed in inevitably with ‘no 9, no 9, no 9…’, and then picked Lennon’s ‘imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can’, from the Rolls Royce radical himself.

Okay dear. I’ll see you and raise you a ‘you consider me the young apprentice, caught between the Scylla and Caribdes’. A perfect couple of lines from that poseur Sting, to which I added a bit of twat cod-philosophy from Neil Diamond, to wit; ‘I am I said, to no one there, and no one heard at all, not even the chair’. Deep stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree.

How about ‘we are stardust, we are golden, and we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden’, said the missus. Mmm, the ‘Woodstock’ generation of Mitchell and CSNY types could take itself a bit seriously at times. I’d include Paul Simon here, for the likes of ‘I have my books and my poetry to protect me’, not to mention ‘what a dream I had, pressed in organdy, clothed in crinoline of smoky burgundy’. Struth.

Then there are those words which initially sound very meaningful, but become less so the more you listen to them. Like ‘Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids, in fact it’s cold as hell, and there’s no one there to raise them if you did…’. Taupin torpor at its best.

Of course I could go on and on, I’ve got a million of ’em. Don’t get me started on the likes of Muse and Lady Gaga, or that infuriating little twit Katy Perry (‘I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock…are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?’).

But I’m limited for space, so I’ll close on the cringeworthy. What could be worse than ‘one day when I was not at home and she was left there all alone, the angels came… and Honey I miss you, and I’m being good’?

Christ on a bike. What a load of old pony.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

And on the subject of shit lyrics, try some Rap, from Miles Plastic

Rap

Well I’ve been ‘down with the kids’ recently. Too long to explain. But all about Rap and a very long video of Ed Sheeran and Stormzy performing together. Fuck know what it was called but how very long it was. And it was on a loop. Exorbitant is the word.

I suppose these two are leaders of their generation musically speaking. The actual sound is a feel good ambient sound which doesn’t vary. And the repetitive beat ad nauseam.

You can actually record your own Rap on your phone. A rap app I suppose you’d call it. So the task was to make your own rap recording. I was struck how seriously the ‘the kids’ took it. (More 18 to 20 year olds).

It was very comical. ‘Shhh… I’m recording….’. One fella– ‘Sheff town Sheff town I’ve been down’. He must have been to Sheffield recently. But that as well-they all did it with a black accent. They were all white.

‘I have my destiny in my pocket’ wasn’t a bad line I thought. Intense confessional stuff about ‘ma girlfriend’. But the beat just the same. No variation.

I thought when I was their age I was into Yes. I know pretentious and overlong but certainly it was all about creativity. And it was all about variation and true experimentation.

Came back home and decided to indulge myself in Yes. The first two videos of like vloggers appreciating them. I listened to ‘Awaken’ and ‘The Gates of Delerium’. The hosts of both vlogs two black dudes with dark glasses.

213 thoughts on “Rubbish Song Lyrics & Rap”

    • The Bee Gees were great until they had their bollocks cut off.
      ‘Ah ha ha ha ah hahaha…’.
      Evening Norman.

    • The Bee Gees were great until their bollocks retracted.
      ‘Ah hahaha ahhhahaaaa…’.
      Evening Norman.

      • Evening Ron.

        The Villa deserved that win today. That useless cunt Lindelof nigh on guaranteed Villa a goal. How can Ole not see where the problem is? Fred was being circumvented by Villa with every attack. Fred is shite.

      • Cheers Norm.
        I must say that win was a great relief. Utd have been turning us over for years. It had become an embarrassment in my neck of the woods.

    • Absolutely true, CG.

      ‘And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time.’
      Of course there fucking won’t.

      ‘Let them know it’s Christmas time.’
      But fanatical peacefuls from African crapholes don’t celebrate Christmas.

      ‘Well tonight thank God It’s them, instead of you.’
      Fuck off, Bonio, You taxdodging fat cunt.

      • Evening Norm-hopefully they won’t “reboot” (I know you hate that, sorry😁) Band Aid again.

        It would be completely BAME & 🌈 -the fucking cunts😂

      • ‘We are the world, we are the children
        it’s time to make a brighter day
        so let’s start giving’

        sang the millionaire pop stars from LA, as they boosted their profiles while wanting to appear so generous.
        Cynical, moi?

      • My 2015 version of that piece of shit by Bland Aid was much better.
        Largely banned by YouCunts amongst others.

        No fucking sense of humour

  3. Best song title ?
    ‘ If You Don’t Wanna Fuck Me Baby, Fuck Off ‘
    By Wayne County and the Electric Chairs.
    Reminds me of when I first asked Ethel out.
    Happy days.

  4. I remember when that “Mockney” from Birmingham, who did that “Dry your eyes mate” shite, was being lauded as the second coming.
    I knew it was the end for commercial music….

    As for rap music, my opinion has never changed on that genre: the “C” is still silent.
    đŸ€”

  5. I believe Def Leppard’s ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’ was either written for or adopted by strippers all over the world. I bet the boys enjoyed all the ‘tributes’ they were sent regarding that song.

    • Listen to Def Lep and then listen to Bryan Adams-they sound very, very similar-because they had the same producer.

      I can’t stand “Hair Metal”.

      • Nor me CG.
        I hated all that shite!
        Grunge was good for nailing that shite in its coffin.
        Although that hair metal shite certainly attracted the wimmin?!
        Told you before I stole a groupie off Dogs d’amour?!
        HeeheeeđŸ˜€đŸ‘Œâ™„ïž

      • 👏👏👏

        Hope you washed them, “before” and scrubbed your “John Thomas” thoroughly, afterwards 😉

  7. Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen is the most repatative annoying cunt of a song I’ve ever heard. It just goes on and on, same riff over and over while he just repeats “born in the USA”.
    I funking hate everything by Springsteen, but this is by far the worst for me….

      • I always thought it was funny that time Reagan made a speech about how great the good ol’ US of A was, and went on about Springsteen had sung about how great it was to be ‘Born in the USA’.
        The daft old cunt couldn’t see the irony in the song, even tho it was ladelled on with a trowel.

    • Fucking hate Springsteen with a passion.

      Just a sweaty bastard clapping his hands.

      “Tramps like us, baby we were born to run”

      What a pile manure. Fucking run then you cunt. As far away as possible.

  8. Clint Eastwood singing in the musical film. “Paint your Wagon”, and in particular these great lyrics…

    “I talk to the trees, but they don’t listen to me.”

    Rodgers and Hammerstein it ain’t

    • A strange one that Techno.
      Written by Lerner and Loewe, who gave the world ‘Gigi’ and of course ‘My Fair Lady’.
      ‘Paint Your Wagon’ was not their finest hour, I’d suggest.

      • PS
        Mind you, if you want to see just how bad it’s possible for a musical to be, look up the utterly excrable ‘Song of Norway’ on youtube.
        You’ll piss yourself laughing.

  11. I have to thank Craig David for his first album. I fingered a girl and got a blowy because of the songs on that album.

    He posts on here sometimes under the alias Black & White Cunt.

    • His song 7 days was originally written as:

      I met this girl on Monday,
      Took her for a drink on Tuesday,
      Tongued her up the arse on Wednesday, and Thursday and Friday and Saturday.
      Then rinsed with Listerine on Sunday.
      😃

  12. Glad tidings and rejoicing:

    That chippy black bastard Anthony Joshua has had a boxing lesson from a real boxer😀👍

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha😂👏👏👏👏👍

    • I also loved that, CGđŸ€Ł. Joshua couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag.

      I also don’t think the chocolate chip will ever fight Tyson Fury now. Because Joshua and that Hearn slimeball know that Fury would turn the chippy bur-lack cunt into chocolate spread.

  15. Great song but these lyrics?

    See the mice in their million hordes
    From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads
    Rule Britannia is out of bounds
    To my mother, my dog, and clowns

    Fuck me.

    And then the wonderful While my guitar –

    I look at the floor
    And I see, it needs sweeping
    Still my guitar gently weeps

    Which George followed up with –

    I told you ’bout the swans that they live in the park
    Then I told you ’bout our kid, now he’s married to Mabel
    (Badge)

    Great songs but dodgy lyrics.

  16. Fantastic night for boxing.

    Joshua exposed. (again)

    Media hype job and nothing more.

    A product of and typical of the times we live in.

    File away under : Cunt

    Take Greaseball Hearn with you while you’re at it pal.

      • Hearn has unashamedly milked that thick fucker for all he was worth.

        The slippery cunt will slither away unnoticed and Joshua will be charming the viewers on Strictly this time next year.

  17. Now fuck off back to Nigeria, you pro BLM, anti-British, drug gang enforcer, sub-Saharan IQ’d cunt👍

  19. I was just thinking would an exponent of rap music be called a rap ist
    And ha ha ha ha ha ha ha fuck off joshua I hope lynx give you the boot for being a useless fucker and besides I didn’t think jigaboos wore deodorants

  20. What happened to great songwriting and great lyrics like the Macc lads classic Sweaty Betty
    She wore big knickers and she worked on the sewage farm
    I got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm
    After 10 pints she looked quite fit
    I couldn’t wait to get my hands on her flabby tits sweaty Betty
    Classic songwriters have all disappeared it’s such a shame

  21. Modesty forbids that I should praise my own lyrical efforts in the context of this post. Best keep me head down.

    What I would say though is that rap music – talking fast to a drum beat – ain’t music. An art form it might arguably be, but it certainly isn’t music.

    • Actually, I’m being a cunt. I’ve actually recorded rap music.
      How could I’ve have forgotten the classic Ratshitter Rap???

      And my Christmas song what I nicked from RunDMC’s Walk This Way???

      My personal favourite own lyrics from ‘Mid Life Crisis’ :
      “I’ve got 16 guitars and a trilbey hat
      Two kids and a dog and cat
      I play down the pub with a couple of mates
      And I sound like Clapton ain’t I great?”

      “I’m not as young as I used to be
      I used to be a jack the lad
      Now my gut hangs over my skin tight jeans
      And bulges through my Hendrix shirt
      And my hair is tied back in a pony tail
      To hide the bits where it fell out”

      Christ! I wrote that 10 years ago. Getting old is a cunt

      I could go on, but I won’t!

  22. During my days playing darts and cards in the 6th form Common room of my local comprehensive in the late 70s, I can remember someone putting a single on our knackered record deck, which had a really weird “out of time, out of space” intro, before the lyrics kicked in with …

    “I,
    I just took a ride in a silver machine
    And I’m still feeling mean

    Do you want to ride
    See yourself going by
    The other side of the sky
    I’ve got a silver machine
    It flies
    Sideways through time
    It’s an electric line
    To your zodiac sign

    I’ve got a silver machine
    I’ve got a silver machine
    I’ve got a silver machine”

    No idea what it was at the time, but it was the sort of song where you just wanted to light up a doobie, open your mind and enjoy the “trip”.

    I wasn’t quite sure what the lyrical were referring too (Time travel and bicycles, apparently), but to my mind it was about motorbikes, and travelling the country roads of Britain on a “silver machine”. And from that point I knew I wanted to buy a bike and do just that (which I eventually did a few years later)

    Turns out it was Hawkwind and their seminal “Silver Machine”, with Motorhead lead singer, Lemmy doing the vocals

    • Saw them at the Lyceum way back. They came on to do a 60 minute set. The front man walked up to the Mike and said “Fuck knows what we’re going to play”

      Their synth man (or whatever they used in those days) a bloke called PickNick started off and they improvised non stop. No vocals, just sound. They were fucking amazing

  23. LYRICS:

    O Fortuna, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing ever waning;
    hateful life first oppresses and then soothes playing with mental clarity;
    poverty and power it melts them like ice.

    Fate – monstrous and empty, you whirling wheel, you are malevolent,
    well-being is vain and always fades to nothing,
    shadowed and veiled you plague me too;
    now through the game I bring my bare back to your villainy.

    Fate is against me in health and virtue,
    driven on and weighted down, always enslaved.
    So at this hour without delay pluck the vibrating strings;
    since Fate strikes down the strong, everyone weep with me!

    Original Latin available at Wikipedia = https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Fortuna

    Ever popular AndrĂ© Rieu seems to have the shortest rendition. I won’t say “pretentious” but conducting holding your violin when there’s no violin part?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJC-_j3SnXk

  24. Used to fly from Nairobi to Dar es Salaam quite often. Pilot used to invite passengers to look out the window at the big mountain poking out of the clouds.

    Always made me think of Toto’s ‘classic’ Out of Africa, and possibly the most tortuous lyrics crammed into a verse.

    “The wild dogs cry out in the night
    As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
    I know that I must do what’s right
    Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti”

    Load of wank.

    • I must admit that I could never quite catch the sense of that lyric;

      ‘it’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
      nothing a hundred men or more could ever do
      I bless the rains down in Africa…’
      ???

  25. The Osmonds – of all people – came up with a lyric that stood out at the time.
    From ‘Love Me For A Reason’,

    “My initial reaction is – honey gimme love, not a facsimile of!”

    A-ha also had some top lyrics….

    All my powers waste away
    I fear the crazed and lonely looks
    the mirror’s sending me
    these Days (The Sun Always Shines On TV)

    I climbed all the stairways
    To find the rooftop clear
    Got a shotgun lying with me here (Early Morning)

    I can still hear our screams competing
    You’re hissing your s’s like a snake
    Now in the mirror stands half a man
    I thought no one could break (I’ve Been Losing You)

  26. Oh yes – Band Aid : My version. Much better than the original.
    All together now

    We sitting round
    In the burning sun
    It that time
    When de white man come
    And he give us lots of money
    So we never have to work
    And dat is how we know
    It Christmas time

    So spare a thought
    For de poor white man
    Who has to work
    Work hard doing what he can
    To earn an honest living
    Wishing he could be like me
    Hanging out and chillin’
    And drinking ice cold beer
    Sitting in de sunshine
    Underneath a shady tree
    Knowing it will soon
    Be Christmas time

    And we won’t be going short ‘round here dis Christmas
    ‘Cos there’s loads of stuff arriving every day
    And the trucks dey keep on coming
    And de dosh keep rolling in
    It’s Christmas time
    There’s plenty for us all

    Sitting round drinking beer and having fun
    Lazing round underneath de burning sun
    It’s Christmas time
    That time we do fuck all!

    Send the money!
    We don’t care – it’s Christmas time
    Truck de food in!
    Save us working in de fields
    Send de workers!
    Build us houses, build us schools
    Keep it coming!
    We t’ink you’re a load of fools
    Life is easy!
    That’s how we know it Christmas time
    Bugger working!
    Just wait round for Christmas time
    Oh no – it Lenny Henry!

    • ‘Rambling Syd Rumpo in Concert’ has to be one of THE great live gigs of all time.
      An absolute legend, and one of the most inspiring lyricists who ever plied his craft.
      Genius.

  28. Ed Sheeran’s A Team used the line ‘crumbling like pastry’.

    When I first heard it on the radio I knew a successor to Dylan had arrived.

    There’s also George Ezra with his robotic primary school crap.

    ‘I’ll be ridin’
    Shot-gUn
    Underneath the
    Hot sun’

    Then the Lumineers with
    ‘HEY!…
    HO!…

    Fucking mongs.

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