Cameo
Cameo is a narcissistic website for saddos that want to be acknowledged by celebrities. It’s also a way for B-list slebs and has-beens to make a bit of money. The idea is that you pay for your favourite star to send you a personalised video message.
Do you want Caitlin Jenner to personally congratulate you on your weight loss in a 30 second video? Yours for $2500. Perhaps you would like Charlie Sheen to congratulate you on your successful haemorrhoid operation? Yours for only $350. For $333 Draco Malloy will send you a video calling you a “filthy little mudblood”. For only $30 Perez Hilton will congratulate you for passing your driving test.
The most bizarre thing about Cameo is how degrading it is for these so called celebrities. Every celebrity has a price and Cameo is a meat market of sleb whores hawking their tawdry wares.
Famous socialist Scottish gobshite actor Brian Cox is yours for £149. Paloma Faith will sing a sad song on the death of your hamster for £150. Sarah Palin will say something sexy to you for £187. Even Nigel Farage is on sale for £75. Ted Nugent will make your ear drums bleed for £225. Miriam Margolyes will terrify you for £128 and Jerry Springer will congratulate you on abstaining from masturbation for £101.
The whole thing is staggeringly banal and tawdry. It reduces sleb worship to its basic ingredient- a financial transaction – and makes the slebs look just as desperate as the idiots paying for their services. How low will a sleb sink for a few quid?
Nominated by : MMCM
I smell an opportunity here. I’ll put myself on there as ‘guru to the stars’ and charge more than any cunt on there. Will probably intrigue a few of these idiots that pay for this shite.
I’ll offer ‘advice’ including, “To get to know the famous, you gotta become famous, baby.”
Or “To become famous, it’s better to be really good at something like singing, a popular sport or acting. It’s better if you’re really good looking too. Time’s up. Got to get me lasagne out of the microwave before I help Johnny Depp fit a new carpet. That’ll be £750 you fucking spastic.”
7
‘Spastic.’ One of my all time favourite put downs. Fucking classic.
9
Jennifer Lawrence to show her tuppence and top bollocks. Priceless.
4
Christina Hendricks unleashing them monumental whammers would do me.
Not much chance of it though, alas….
5
It’s April 1st all year round. And there’s nowhere to hide.
4
How about me……?
I will tell them all to get fucked .. for free
1
Can I have Miriam Margolyes talking dirty to me as the Cadburys Caramel Rabbit whilst I was getting sucked off by Sarah Harding?
3