National Treasures (3)

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I don’t mean that boring old shite they keep in museums (although it is certainly bad enough)…I mean actor/singers who are revered even though they are actually past-it old farts who haven’t done anything worthwhile for years….Stephen Fry, Joanne Lumley, David Jason, Dawn French, Paul McCartney, Miriam Margolyes, Cliff Richard…that type of Cunt.

The coffin-dodging selfish old Bores should stop using up valuable resources that I may need in the future…and it’s not as if anyone would give a fuck if we never again had to hear them droning on about their long-gone Glory Days.

Most of the Cunts are ga-ga anyhow…it’ll be doing them (and us) a favour if they repeated the same tired old anecdotes for the final time to the tune of “Abide with me” at the local Crematorium.

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

76 thoughts on “National Treasures (3)”

  1. Patrick fucking Stewart ought to go to the top of that list – theatrical old duckie, caked in makeup holding forth on every chat show about how naughty we were to vote Leave, even though the pompous old cunt has lived Stateside for years. Probably another one of those who live in lavender marriages. Nearly all the old national treasures are remainer poofters (Fry certainly is)

      • The only time Stewart did anything useful was when he carpeted that fat cunt Corden for being a fat cunt funnily enough.

        Live at a press conference, I think he was pissed

  2. As soon as someone is declared a “national treasure” it’s a cast iron guarantee that they are a cunt.

    David Attenbore, Fry, Queen Helen Mirren II, Dawn French-Fries, Beardie Branson, Bendydick Cucumberpatch, Grayson Perry have all been declared “national treasures” and all are cunts to a man.

  3. Everytime someone is described as a ‘national treasure’ they have a tendency to cuntishness.
    More Ferrero Roche than gold,
    Contain nuts, bit tinfoil, bit cheap an nasty.
    Like all treasure they should be buried deep.
    X marks the spot.

    • National treasure Queen Helen Mirren II (who I’m sure really thinks she is the Queen after having played the part) is a prime example of “more Ferrero Roche than gold”.

      People think she’s a national treasure because she occasionally says “fuck” in public places. Really this is a sign of dementia.

      Eminently fuckable when she was young, I’m sure now her paps are shrivelled and her clam is a hairy dry, encrusted slit.

      Now I’ve put myself of my breakfast.

      • “…. occasionally says “fuck” in public places. Really this is a sign of dementia.”…..bad news indeed for myself..although it has been suggest afore,I must admit.

      • To be serious for a moment, I heard Vanessa Redgrave, another national treasure on Wireless 4 a few weeks ago on the series “A Good Read” and the poor old soul sounded as if she were struggling for breath, and out of it, not in a drink/drugs way but in a sort of dementia type way. It is the only time I have felt sorry for her. She was really having to be helped by the chairwoman. I’ll try and find the recording on the I Player so you can hear for yourselves.

      • @Dick. Enjoy the ride, start downing bottles of whisky in the bottle shop before and after eating a tinned pie in the supermarket. Then move onto the change rooms of the local young ladies netball club.

      • Fuck! I thought it was fucking tourettes so now I’m fucking fucked with fucking dementia. Cunt!!

      • Celebrities with dementia can be hilarious though, remember Norman Wisdom trying to molest every woman he met then doing a pratfall shouting Mr Grimsdale! Or that crazy old yank who thinks he is the president and sniffs children.

  4. I’m also sick of seeing trailers for travel programmes where the Old Cunts are wheeled around the globe being “screamingly hilarious”.
    They should all be forced to travel on the wings of American transport planes…I’d love to see Gyles fucking Brandreth telling us another of his anecdotes as he did an impersonation of a Barnes-Wallis bouncing-bomb.

      • James Corden – the fat slug. A talentless sack of shite. Why the Americans love him is beyond me.

      • Morning Dick👍

        Bet you consider me a national treasure ?
        Dont want to embarass me by saying it eh?

      • Morning,MNC
        Morning,All.

        If ” consider you a national treasure” means that I’d like to see you stuffed and exhibited in The Natural History Museum…then yes.

      • @Dick. I’m sure Owen Jones would like to see MNC stuffed and exhibited in a local park…. allegedly, lol

  5. A very valid cunting. This hackneyed phrase is often applied, habitually, to Stephen bloody Fry. That lanky, predatory, arsehole-reaming, bent-nosed ponse, whose spoken word is littered with junk such as “nay”, “tummy rubbish” and “poppycock”.

    National Treasure? National fucking Irritant more like. Fuck off.

  6. Fred Dibnah
    Lemmy
    Norman Wisdom
    Stan Laurel
    Vivian Stanshall

    Id describe these as real national treasures.

  7. Seems to me most of these people declared “National treasures” have been so by not dying yet. How long can that cunt Cliff Richard dine out on singing in the rain at Wimbledon or the Queen Mother of pop and Diana groupie , Elton John exploit a nations faux grief?

    • Singing in the rain was Gene Kelly not Cliff LL.
      Cliff sung congratulations about getting a all clear on a HIV test.

      • Summer Holiday was a homage to a lost couple of months clubbing with George Michael and Boy George in Ibiza.

  8. National Treasures should be locked up in the Tower of London…….keep them nice and safe from cunts like me who want to destroy them.
    “You’re in Cell number one Mr Lineker. Now now, no point crying…..it’s for your own good. We know best.”

  9. Overpaid Luvvie Cunts.
    Dull as fuck,perhaps seen as comforting to the residents of Wuhan Care Home.
    I suppose a redeeming feature of this troop of dullards is that they are all white.
    Therefore should be consigned to the MSM bin and replaced by a grinning Tar Baby.
    Perfect.

  10. Attenborough can fuck off. Typical establishment hypocrite.

    Lenny Henry: Fuck off.

    David Dimbleby: Can fuck off too, take your flabby son with you.

    Nish Patel: Not a national treasure (yet) but the cunt wants diversity. So get to fuck.

    • Lenny Henry – Christ on a stick. Ever since he appeared on Opportunity Knocks as a dark-ey Franck Spencer, he’s been an insufferable cunt.

  11. If most of these fuckers aren’t irritating enough, we have to endure inane media questions like “Sir Paul, how do you manage to stay so young looking in your seventies?”. Because he’s never done a proper days work in his life you daft cunt. That and the Botox, along with enough hair dye to refill the Grand Canyon. Then there’s the refusal to retire gracefully. David Attenbore, reeking of formaldehyde, just sounds senile, repeating the same “the end is nigh” bollocks. Dear old David Jason has been destroying his own legacy for years and don’t get me started on Judi Fucking Dench.

    • …and the three inch layer of Polyfilla and Max Factor the TV people had just put on him.

    • FMC@ – Steady now Sir – MNC has a secret crush on Judi Dench!
      Sorry – meant to say “would like to crush to death”.. 😀👍☠

  12. I will miss Brian Blessed when he goes, give him a field marshals uniform, a big axe and parachute him into Kabul.

  14. Olivia Coleman 😡

    Not to be confused with Ornette… or Cornetto, eh MNC?

    And lest we forget: if the national treasures hadn’t been so upfront campaigning in favour of Remain, Leave would not have won by such a large margin.

    • I can’t stand Coleman either RTC. Can’t see what the fuss is about.
      I’d add Elain Paige, Rod Stewart and Bob Geldof to the list of cunts that wallow in their own self importance.

      • Olivia Coleman looks like the daughter of Mister Ed.
        She is also an insufferable up herself luvvie cunt.

    • She proves that ugly old actresses can still get work, the ones who can’t were only cast for their perky tits and blowing the director.

  15. Good Morning.

    A phrase I use, occasionally, is to tell someone that they are a “Celebrated,Unique National Treasure” a sophisticated version of “See You Next Tuesday”.

    I always have a good laugh when I hear Bonny Tyler interviewed, her desperation to be regarded as a national treasure is palpable.

  16. Of course in this age of cancel culture. celebs only qualify for National Treasuredom, if they pass all the Woke tick boxes

  17. I miss the treasures of old:

    Jimmy
    Rolf
    Stuart laughing his bollocks off for no discernible reason.
    Fred on a floating map.
    The Hairy Ringpiece on the radio.
    The cunt who’s act was ‘Awight, Awight’

    Time will never dim them. Treasures, one and all.

    • Stuart Hall’s commentary for football on BBC Radio Manchester was poetry, an absolute master at his craft. He really was brilliant. What have we got now? Karen ‘Asthmatic Parrot’ Carney’ and Alex ‘Innit’ Scott. Dear me…

  18. I think lots regard Eddie Izzard as a National Treasure.

    A bit like when the same type were advocating John Bercow as a Prime Minister of a “National Unity Government”.

    For fucks sake.

    • I am just waiting for Dame Keir to proudly announce Izzard is the prospective Labour MP for anywhere except North London, and enjoy the discomfiture he feels when the voters refuse to vote for him. Dame Keir always has that pained expression although Mandy has forced an extra large butt plug up his arsehole, so God knows how he looks when Izzard comes fourth, after the Greens take third place.

    • Since the He Man cartoon series ended, Skeletor has fallen on hard times… 😆😆😆

  21. David ‘Please give me a kinghthhood’ Beckham? Cunt doesn’t even live in this country. Same as Lewis Hamilton. He should fuck off coz he’s a tax dodger living anywhere in the world except Britain. Owning a British bulldog doesn’t make him British, it makes him a cunt. Just like Sean Connery who pretended to be Scottish but hadn’t live there for half a century or more. Cunts!!

  22. Gillian Anderson should be a national treasure.

    Born in Chicago, I grant you. But the lady was brought up in London and she prefers Blighty to the USA. She is also a fine actress and is sexy as fuck. Her English accent also is a big plus. She’s always given me the horn, but that voice really tops it off.😍

  24. More national treasures.

    Kate Bush
    Windsor Davies (Shut Up!!!)
    Malcolm Allison (even though he was a bluenose)
    Marc Bolan
    Fenella Fielding
    Christopher Lee

    • Sid James
      Robert Shaw
      Patrick MacNee
      Peter Cushing
      Andrew “Quatermass” Keir
      Richard Johnson (for being a Shakespearian actor while also appearing in a film like Zombie Flesh Eaters!)
      Richard Todd
      Honor Blackman
      George Sanders

      All sadly deceased, but better remembered than any of the current “treasures”

  26. Frankie Howard
    Kenneth Williams
    Diana Rigg
    Henry Cooper
    Graham Hill
    Babs Windsor
    Malcolm Simmons multiple World shooting champion and originator of Accuracy International and the legendary L96/L101 sniper rifle ask the Taliban 👍
    Patrick Macnee aka John Steed

  27. “Anol leeking”. “Dey leek laak ass cream”. “Feesting”.

    Hats off to the guy, doing the Rod Hull Emu beak action inside “dee udder mun’s anus”

  28. Sir Bobby Charlton is a true national treasure.
    Munich crash survivor, 1966 World Cup hero, first Englishman to win and lift the European Cup (and he scored two in the final), all time England and Man United top scorer (until that fat grannyfucking cunt Wayne Rooney overtook him), and a real gentleman.

  29. Other national treasures…

    Alf Garnett
    Stan Ogden
    Jack Regan
    Arthur Daley
    Blakey (‘I ‘ate you, Butler!)
    Rupert Rigsby
    Gene Hunt

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