M&S plain Jane

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A shocking disgrace has happened. It’s literally earth shattering and will rival 9/11, the Holocaust and Robbie leaving Take That.

Those utter bastards at Marks & Spencer’s have named a donut ‘plain Jane’.

How dare they suggest all women called Jane are plain! It’s a disgrace that some bint has managed to cash in on by selling her story.

I wouldn’t mind, but it’s not even a plain cake and the phrase has been around longer that your faux outraged face has been around.

Ironically the person complaining looks as plain and boring as they come.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9855445/amp/Furious-shopper-blasts-M-S-selling-Plain-Jane-pastry.html

Nominated by: LazyBiscuits

56 thoughts on “M&S plain Jane”

    • The Daily Mail is for right-leaning people who are too thick to read the Daily Telegraph.

      I figured that out by looking at readers’ comments.

      It’s one of those online rags that pisses me off because the pages take too long to load because of all the shitty irrelevant videos and all that fucking celebrity crap down the right-hand side.

  2. Whatever next, Mr Fiddler staging at sit-in at his local M&S over spotted dick pudding?

    • Shes plain, called Jane, whats her issue?
      If itd been called
      ‘fat speccy boring cunt with receding hairline’ donut
      Shed have a point.

      I never complained when they offered ‘ British beefcakes’
      Or the footlong hotdog which is based on me.
      Morning all

      • Hehee 😂
        No, the ‘flaccid footlong”
        A little bit of miserable with every mouthful…

      • Wasn’t there a big cheesy bender? Or did I make that up to take the piss out of some gobshite in Blackpool? It was the 90s, I don’t remember much of that whole decade.

    • LL, ‘spotted’ is probably the kindest description of the thing that Fiddler has between his legs.

  3. I was engaged to a girl called Jayne…she was kind,generous,bonny and unfortunately not as naive as I thought…took her about a fortnight to Fuck Off with the blacksmith….I was distraught and inconsolable…good blacksmiths are fucking hard to find.

    I never shop in M+S…full of middle-class silly tarts with brats called Tarquin and Esmarelda.

  5. Fuck a duck. Is this what passes for “news” these days? I know it’s a 24 hour business and you have to fill the space but fuck me sideways. I think the phrase “stay at home Mum” and her daughter telling her “you’ve got too much time on your hands” sums it up for me. No doubt this dozy bint is well pleased with herself. I couldn’t be arsed to read to the end but I assume these doughnut cunts apologised to the sad old trout.

    • That head the ball who went retard in Plymouth shooting people the cunt?
      He was a ‘incel’
      A adult virgin who cant get their end away.
      They should be offered doughnuts on the NHS and when feeling upset,
      Can fuck the arse off the doughnut releasing pent up stress!
      Also a sugary snack for afters,
      True fact
      Elton John shits doughnuts.

      • Can’t help feeling sorry for the poor fella. He didn’t misgender anyone online, so why all the hoo-ha?

      • The funny thing about these incel cunts is that it’s a label they give themselves. If I was having trouble getting a rub, the last thing I would do is advertise it, or lump myself in with a load of fucking losers. These pricks usually blame their appearance for the fanny famine, but I see plenty of ugly blokes, fat blokes and misfits with partners, so it must be the creepy demeanour or repellent personality that pushes females away.
        It’s a shame that this freak didn’t just top himself, and also a shame there’s no afterlife, where he could see the press calling him the virgin gunman, and constantly reporting on his pathetic loser life.
        Cunt.

  6. They should have named it after AnalEase or Jess Phillips and retailed it as a slimming doughnut – who would fancy eating it named after either of those skanks?.

    I’ll get Mrs Boggs baking some up for “Conference” next month – we will launch it at Brighton along with the other new line – the Mandy fairy cake.

  7. ‘Plain Jane’ on Neighbours was just a really fit bird with nerd glasses on with books in her arms.

    I recall the episode (yes I watched it as a teen – probably for the totty) where some lucky lad got off with her. Her glasses were removed and the ‘reveal’ was that ‘Ooh. She’s actually really fit.’

    Yeah we knew lol. Just a stunner with gigs and granny’s cardigan on. Cheers.

    They fooled nobody.

    So these doughnuts are probably very good.

    • Yeah, but looking at the raddled, ugly, whinging old boiler in the photograph, you’ve got more chance of commanding the next shuttle mission than that happening, with her, Cunty.

      • The fittest Jane ever was Jane Seymour.❤️❤️
        Now itd be Jayne County youd get.
        As a kid also liked Jane from childrens tv love triangle Rod,Jane and Freddy.
        ‘and Freddy’ makes me think Freddy came along later?
        A add on, a viper in the nest.

      • Ooh Jane Seymour in the 70s indeed. She was new to Hollywood for live and let die and didn’t realise she didn’t have to do her own stunts, yes that’s her in the bus chase scene.

      • I was always waiting for the “reveal” where Kylie Minogue turned out not to be a rat-faced,titless, Macauly Culkin look-a-like ….it never happened.

        I liked Leah in Home and Away.

        Mandy Dingle is still an e-mail sending fat Cunt.

      • Jane Russell was pretty, pretty, pretty hot. Though her tits were a bit on the large side for my intellectual taste.

      • Think it was Bob Hope who said; “Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands.” RTC.

    • I only watched Neighbours for the legions of blondes. I think Izzy Hoyland was the one that made me want to crack one out the most.

      Always a bit of a minefield in the early days with Madge, Mrs Mangel and Harold Bishop liable to turn up.

  8. Have the spineless M&S management apologised unconditionally, renamed the product and given the dreary cow a million pounds compensation yet?

    Fuck them all.

  9. Call them Diabetic Dianes doughnuts then.
    Or Fat Cunt Fionas.
    Sugar Tits Sally.

    What a set of shithouses.

  11. Stupid, part-time outrager, but full-time whining arsehole.

    Just fuck off. Yes you are plain, Jane. Plus your head resembles a swollen cantaloupe with glasses and a wig. Go and find something productive to do.

    Cunt!

  12. I would invite this gracious lady to old Tourettes teashop where she can indulge a “face like a pigs arse stretched over a bucket” teacake. Or perhaps a “dried up old bag” doughnut with cat piss sprinkles.

    If there was anybody in M&S with any gonads , they would rename it the “I’d lick her arsehole, they all look the same from the rear” numbnut.

    Cunts to the left of me, cunts to the right of me…………..

  13. Is she hawking her arsehole in that header pic? If she’s looking for a creampie she can look elsewhere.

    • She was fishing for a compliment clearly .

      ‘no Jane! Your not plàin!
      Far from it! Your a stunner!”

      Instead people called her a mardarse and even her own daughter hinted she was a nutter.
      She’ll just have to accept the fact shes lucky to be described as plain.
      A blunter speaker than I would say she was a speccy fuckin pig.
      Obviously im more charitable…

    • Before reading the nom I thought that pic was a borescope looking at a dilated cervix.

    • To me, it looks like an inverted nipple with a touch of melanoma.
      I once knew a very nice Jane, who was so comely that I almost developed a fetish for waxed jackets…

  14. She should change her name to Jacob-she is clearly “crackers”.

    Time for for this “stay at home mum” (aged 52??), to get a job…

  16. M&S made a mistake and should be ashamed of themselves; these are clearly Boring Karen ‘Nuts.

  17. ‘Plain Jane Yumnuts?’ Sounds like a marketing sketch in an 80’s comedy show. I wouldn’t buy anything called that. Strictly for numbnuts…

    The Jane above would be the perfect face for the product. Surprised M&S haven’t recruited her. But maybe her complaint was designed to achieve that?…no…she doesn’t look that bright.

  18. An unidentified female corpse is called Jane Doe. A plain and common name FFS and we all know it. What next? A corpse won’t be able to be given a gender because we don’t know for sure if when they were alive that they identified as that gender?
    I think I’ll go back to bed.

  20. Just rename all cakes and biscuits ‘Karen-feed’ and wait for the tsunami of grief.

  21. Also, has this poor, thick bitch named Jane never heard of the Streisand effect.?

    Clearly a lot of insecurity on her part. She took the name of a confection as an insult, and will now suffer genuine insults as result.

    Nurse! (put the cake down).

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