What a shallow, pathetic bunch of fucking cunts these are.
Razzing around in some chavved up piece of crap, backfiring on purpose to make it sound like a fucking rally car, these pricks grip my shit.
Usually stupid, with little to offer humanity, they drive around in little convoys, or meet up on industrial estates to do burnouts and other sad shit.
The worst thing about them is that when they inevitably crash, it’s never them that burn to death in the wreck, it’s always some poor cunt minding their own business going the other way.
Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye
Lots of noise from the tin can exhaust that sounds like fart but there not really going anywhere fast. Think all them are car mechanics with their apprenticeship they got from YouTube
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Absolutely priceless from our Lord Almighty, JC
https://youtu.be/pwDZqAW8M4I
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No reverse , well thought out that one WC 😂😂
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Where I live the “Lowrider” is popular with the tiny spoke wheels and “switches” that make the glittery atrocities hop and jump. Money well spent.
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Personally, I don’t care what these daft cunts spend their money on, as long as it’s their money, and not some old dear they’ve robbed.
It’s the speed they travel at. As my neighbour commented the other day when one rocketed past at 80 mph over the posted limited of 20
” Where’s a fucking bazooka when you need one”
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It’s not about money for me either. If they want to spend thousands making an average car look and sound shit fair enough, they’ll still be living with mum and dad at 35 with fuck all to show but a shit car. But trying to drop off late at night and your piss is boiling because some thoughtless little prick is driving around in second gear to make it sound like he’s going round the fucking Nurburgring makes me want to hunt them down and introduce their faces to a claw hammer. Fucking chav cunts.
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Most of the drivers are homosexuals.
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…and the product of single mothers reliant on child benefits.
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I’ve heard a lot of motorbikes tuned to backfire lately…probably homosexual,single-parent benefit-sponges too.
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You ought to live where I do. Motorcycles, the wheelie boys, every fucking day around 3 pm, when the kids are coming out of school!
Swear to Dog, if the kill a child there will be bodies swinging from lamp posts.
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You are right of course Freddie, it was off the cuff and I got it wrong but the same sentiment and it’s an old joke
But many moons ago I heard that joke for the first time my local and we were all steamed up
The cunt had us thinking of every metal that the sun created
We fell about the place laughing , happy days
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I’d happily pay some Cunt in a steamroller to run Phil Tufnell over.
Twat.
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I have no idea why some biker cunts like their machines to backfire. I’ve even seen reviews on new models extolling their tendency to waste fuel by exploding it in the silencer. It’s a defect. Tune the fucking thing properly.
Fourwheeled cunts also do this, it’s not just bikes. The aim is probably to give old people in quiet country areas heart attacks…and if it stops them driving, maybe that’s a good idea?
I have just sold my very silly bike, which never backfired in its life, and will be getting a sensible one shortly. In the meantime I am riding a courtesy CB500F because the dealer fucked up in registering the sensible one. Nothing like the old CB500’s; I do not recommend it at all. But it doesn’t backfire either.
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Backfires usually caused by poorly fitted aftermarket exhaust cans that play havoc with a modern sports bikes engine management, but sound (supposedly) great on a track day.
Old Honda twins are wonderful machines…
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With tiny winkies.
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Definitely have to get a horse now DFF , pronto.
Q : What’s the closest thing to Silver
A : The back of Roy Rogers bollocks
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I hate to be pedantic but Roy’s horse was called Trigger. Silver belonged to The Lone Ranger.
I remember that from Saturday Morning Pictures. Happy days.
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Do you know what Tontos’ horse was called? Not a windup. I think it’s Paint or Pinto.
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Tonto…… Spanish for stupid.
Kemosabe…. (Quién no sabe)…. Spanish for ‘He that doesn’t know’
Strange dynamics in that programme.
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Tonto rode a horse called Scout…Baden Powell rode a succession of Scouts too.
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Many thanks, #DFF. That would have kept me awake tonight.
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I keep putting the replies in the wrong place Freddie , you know
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Wandered far off topic there. My apologies.
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Burberry chav cars was quite the meme about 10 years ago https://www.flickr.com/photos/star_ph-uk/16461704
Are cunts still doing up their 1.0l Vauxhall Corsas to emulate a V12 beast wagon?
Slightly related: I think the Eu passed some law against working on your car or some shit; cunts. They can fuck off; I’m not paying stealer ship money to have simple stuff replaced. Which reminds me, on my BMW X5, the parking break went. A new one costs £945 + fitting. Found some break specialists on Flea Bay of all places that refurbish these parts and YT helped explain how to remove and fit it yourself. Thank you very much, saved me at least £700. Fuck the EU and the stealer ships and fuck electric cars as well.
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The Reich attempted to ban aftermarket and pattern car and motorcycle parts, but I believe the cunts failed.
They also wanted sealed drivetrains to prevent modification or repair.
Twats…
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945+for a parking brake? They’re taking the piss! Is it an electric one? And if so how do you do a handbrake turn?
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Not sure about doing a hand brake turn in an automatic SUV tbh; maybe Jason Statham knows.
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On the subject of no fossil fuels and goodbye to gas boilers.
How the fuck are we going to fly to Mallorca? Imagine the size of the batteries! There’ll be 6 staff, including the pilot & 2 passengers.
Haven’t really thought that one TV Brough, have they?
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” one through”
Christ on a stick!
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HMM modified vehicles,
What I am about to say will not tally with the cunting but it is a cunting in itself.
I used to be very keen on Land-rovers ( the proper ones) and started building a hybryid ( Range-rover chassis land-rover body), things went wrong, lets not go there but I walked away from it.
Years later I restarted with a Vitara ( Santana chassis) did what needed to be done to it, (informed my Insurance company) and built a vehicle that could level play with Land-rover tomcats.
Now my “little car” was quite good, but I then upgraded to the “Blitz” body.
I informed my broker.
I recall the conversation, I have upgraded to the Blitz roll cage system…. we can not insure you for that!
Wait a minuet I have upgraded suspension, up armoured bumpers and under armour on the vehicle why would a total roll cage system change this?
Ah sir we do not insure modified vehicles!
So that was it, I had been driving round for a good 3 years in a road legal MoT accepted vehicle that my insurances would not cover.
I was not best pleased.
As it stands, any modification to a vehicle must be declared to the insurance broker or guess what.
I declared all modifications on mine and was very surprised when they made the “we do not insure modified vehicles” statement.
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How’s it going,Lord B?…still got the greyhound?
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Two, now I have a large white one and the lady has a small black one.
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I like cosmetic mods a lot for wheels, grill, trim and I’ve tried a bit of wrapping. I like car detailing too and bought all the gear to diy it; seemed to work pretty well and obtained shiny mcshine. Not done ceramic coating yet but want to give that a try.
Whilst I’m totally for home car maintenance, I’m not into performance mods at all – can’t see its worth the bother?
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I have to admit that a lot of the modifications that I did to my vehicle did take the challenge out of off roading and some of the fun too.
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My oldest bought a car that had been adapted, insomuch that the ignition start was a button to press, not a key.
The trouble she had getting insurance, it was a fucking Clio, not a Warrior.
Makes me fucking laugh when I think about today’s cars, start with a click!
Insurance companies are cunts.
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Total cunts are insurance bookies
Tell them fuck all ,if you have your MOT your good to go
I replaced my suspension on a 22 year vehicle about 7 years ago
New springs, bilstien shock absorbers and all the chassis rubber bushes including the steering linkages to beat.
Drives like a dream
I wouldn’t tell them cunts that because it’s an excuse to take the piss out of you
All parts were just OEM replacement parts
They must wonder when they look at the MOT report , how the fuck is this thing so close to the original tolerances from factory and is 22 years old, cunts are insurance ,fuck em
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Good nom.
I personally have never had any interest in cars, motorcycles engines or whatever else, so that sort of thing has always gone over my head.
I’ve always found people who are interested in anything like that to be a breed apart but each to their own.
Unfortunately, many years ago, I used to have a neighbour who tinkered and modified motorcycles mainly but sometimes cars as well, all day long, everyday, while claiming sickness benefit and getting his house paid for by the state and other goodys.
The amount of good for nothing loser type cunts who used to doss around staring at engine parts and other shit was off the scale. Cunts from far and wide congregating pretty much outside my house to stare at a fucking wheel rim or a stripped down engine for 6 hours without a worry in the world or a job for that matter.
A typical day would usually involve a different bunch of shady cunts dossing around.
Neither the cops nor social security seemed to be remotely interested in this piss taking cunts behaviour which baffled me as well because not only was the cunt up to no good, he was obviously fit for work.
Anyways, then after all the excitement of staring at an old clutch for best part of a day, maybe at around 9pm, the cunts would start revving engines before all ejaculating in unison and driving off loudly, aggressively dangerously (in a bid to over compensate for their tiny cocks no doubt)
I moved shortly after.
I’ve always hated cunts like my old neighbour with a passion ever since.
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I was on a date with a bird and thought I’d impress her by putting my foot down.
She said, “I’ve seen a bin opened like that a fucking thousand times”….
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You weren’t the first so JR
Used to hate it when a bird got that dig in your gut😏😏
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Not bothered about noisy modified shit cars. I’m much more bothered about any car, with the windows wound down, blaring out fucking Umbongo so called music. If you want to play jungle music take it back to the jungle where it belongs.
Cunts.
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We used to have an apprentice, he was a useless lying cunt, he was into modified VW, s him and his mates had to fit rubber sumps to the engines so not to crack when they touch the fucking road, I shit you not, they also used to undo the ends of the rear axle and wedge nuts and bolts in the get that fucked up camber angle you see them all with were there is only the inside half inch of tyre in contact with the ground.
These Lax power cars are fucking lethal, it just as well most of them only have 70 horsepower, but on the flip side its a great opportunity for natural selection to cull a load of these fucking retards, we reckon with the clown we had working with us, the best part of him run down his mums leg, honestly if his dad could go back in time he would have used a condom, he couldn’t have got a worse result if he had stuck it in her arse.
This muppet now spends all his time modifying cars and waiting for, Rescue a cunt, I mean the RAC to come and pick up these pieces of shit, even those guys are saying it’s to low to get on the back of the truck ya cunt.
Oh and the best bit and really sums these cunts up, is the brightly coloured tow eye bracket complete with tow here sticker next to it that is attached to the plastic bumper, they even jump up and down and scream at the recovery driver who has just torn off a piece of bumper…. True story… Cunts
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Was in a modified VW Beetle in Germany 1885
I didn’t know at first but when the cunt (I think he was gay) put his foot down on an open road, me and my buddy were tele transported to another dimension
He had converted the rear with a Porsche engine
Yay he was definitely gay the VW was open top cabriolet converted-in candy red paintwork with white leather upholstery
It was a sight ,no a scream
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There is another kind of car mod cunt, I nominated this fucker a while back, its called (mid life crisis cunts) we have a tit who works close to us, he has a Porcshe but it’s one of the shitty cheap ones, it has a loud exhaust.
This tool spanks it up the narrow road twice a day, it sounds like he is at LeMans but really he isn’t going anywhere near as fast as you yould expect, which is just as well it’s a narrow road with cars parked along both sides…. I can’t wait for the day when you hea waaaaaay, waaaaaay and then a loud bang, I may even get some photos and the chin the cunt as he’s being cut out of the wreckage…..
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A few years ago one of my neighbours kids had a friend who used to pull up in this very old Nissan Micra. This thing had a massive, and I mean massive spoiler bolted on the roof, it looked like his mother’s ironing board and must have weighed about half of what the car did. I mean the engine on this car was probably 1000cc at most and the spoiler must have slowed the car down when he tried a burn out at the lights. I bet some old cunt on an electric spaz charriot would have had a better 0 to 60 time.
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It’s the body kit modifications that make me giggle.
Intake scoop on the bonnet, flared wheel arches, massive wing on the back, side skirts, blue tinted headlamps, illegal blacked out windows and rear light clusters.
Basically something that looks like it has been coated in superglue and driven through the ripspeed section of Halfords.
For the price all of that cost to be stuck on a 10 year old 1.2 Corsa, you could have bought a proper car that isn’t a magnet for the police to pull over.
Bonus points are awarded for seeing said shitpile grounded out halfway across a plowed field with a trail of cheap fibreglass shit behind it, with blue and white police tape all over it and a sheet covering the passenger side.
Usually followed a few days later by bunches of flowers and cheap Teddy bears ziptied to the nearest lamp post and a tatty cardboard sign that reads ‘RIP Dazza – fuckin legend’.
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My Nephew has a track tuned 5 series – drives it like a maniac! 😱☠
Clearly never seen a headless cadaver in the road, one of a number of things I have seen as a result of more aggression and bravado than skill.
Modding cars for me is so they look standard but go, steer, handle and brake much better than the original (it means “swift progress” can be achieved without putting a big sign on the roof saying “nick me officer”!).
The modders perform a useful function in stopping “our travelling chums” from taking over the McDonalds car par parks of an evening though so I suppose the spotty hooligans are doing some good. 😀👍
Wouldn’t want to live near it though.
My hunmobile is completely standard, replaced the Benz with a BMW – it needs a couple of wings, a good clean and detail and some paint touchups (luckily I am reasonable competent from my days of spraying bikes and motorcycles), but I got it for half the book price and I enjoy doing the work – it has way more things on it than I will ever use so the only mods I will be doing is if I can find a cheap DAB head unit.
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I used to love dabbling with my cars Vernon
As you say discretion was always the way
Nobody knows only yourself , it a nice feeling
Being mechanically trained it’s a doddle for me
Haven’t done much lately though as getting under a car now is a pain and dirty
Still service my own but gave up servicing the relations, a saddle I felt didn’t quite fit anymore
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