Love Island (2)

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This moronic and despicable show encapsulates all that is wrong in British television and society.

Every year we are treated to the spectacle of a group of intellectually challenged identi-kit Barbie’s and Ken’s claiming they are on a quest for “true love” and that the prize money has nothing to do with it.

The women look as if they have been created by some of the UK’s premier plastic surgeons. The men have sculpted torsos and bulging muscles to the extent that they look like walnuts in a condom. They all look vapid and stupid and this impression is confirmed as soon as one of them opens their mouth to speak – “I’m buzzin, like, cos I is looking for a girlfriend, like”.

In a recent episode one contestant, amazingly a medical student, made the bizarre claim that if you viewed Earth through a telescope on Mars, you would be able to see dinosaurs !

Just as detestable as the contestants are the retards that tune into this garbage and watch it with slavish devotion. Admittedly, some parts of the series have the fascination of a slow motion car crash – particularly when the resulting suicides are taken into account. But the people that are somehow able to derive enjoyment from this series must be more brain dead than the contestants (if that’s possible).

Love Island sets a bad example. It says that to be one of the young beautiful set, you must be vapid, talk gibberish in an Essex Mockney accent, display a lack of culture with a low iq and be interested in Botox and plastic surgery.

No wonder young people are becoming more stupid and narcissistic.

If the show were renamed “Cunt Island”, then at least it would be more honest.

https://www.itv.com/loveisland

Nominated by: MMCM

74 thoughts on “Love Island (2)”

  1. Its a leper colony .
    Escape from Love Island
    Under the barbed wire past the guard tower and searchlights without getting shot.

    (Rejected pitch for tv series from a mr M.Northern.)

    • A great idea MNC. In fact, it would make the current format of Love Island vastly more entertaining if a couple of Lepers were airlifted into the Island.

  2. The only TV “reality” show I would consider watching, would be a version of “Battle Royale”, where all our Cunts of the year nominees are dumped on a remote shit hole (Isle of Man?) and battle it out to the end 👍

    The winner, thinking “they” (😉) have won “their” freedom, to be given a guided tour of the inside of Unkle Terry’s oven😀👍

  3. Devils island
    Alcatraz
    Skull island
    Anthrax island

    All preferable to this as a getaway.

  5. Judging by the header pic is not very diverse is it!?
    Need more transformers, a couple of spazzers, and perhaps a guest appearance by Anal Eaze Dodds, might warm things up a bit!

    • I’ve got something better for AnalEase – Boggs Productions are taking Alan Sugar’s The Apprentice, and bringing it up to date and woke. She, David Lammy and Kim Leadbetter will be the judging panel for:

      KEIR’S LAVATORY APPRENTICE

      Each week, a team of backbench arsehole lickers will compete to see who handles the Starmer bowel movements best:

      Most adept at wheeling in the commode

      Best at wiping the great man’s arse

      The most discrete at changing his Tenaladies after an “accident” while he discusses affairs of state with union leaders, mothers meetings or EU leaders

      Most adept at inserting the soothing suppositories (the Gays will have an advantage in that task, considering so many suffer from the Farmers)

      Clearing the air with air freshner – will Keir favour the lavender, as favoured by Lord Adonis or the Wild Pansy as favoured by Chris Bryant

      For the final challenge who best copes with the shits outbreak in the Starmer khasi, which coincides with him making his conference speech in a white suit. Purity or shit – what will win the day?

      Who will “clean up” in the final and win the coveted Golden Turd Award (presented by Anthony Blair) and win the right to warm up Keir’s lavatory seat every morning?

      You will be on the edge of your lavatory seat each week, as the contestants are introduced by Angela Rayner and Dame Margaret Beckett, with a peg on her nose.

      This is a One Show/Boggs Joint Production.
      (Sanitary ware kindly supplied by Mandelson Smallest Rooms Ltd)

  6. Front and centre is thespian Danny fackin Dyers offspring,
    The wind whistling through her ears..

    • Good morning Mis. I suspect the fragrant Ms Dyer may be one of the more IQ gifted contestants on there.

      The average contestant having the IQ of a corn on the cob.

      • Morning Paul,
        Dyer jr fresh off her ‘perf wiv serf’ triumph.
        Aye, the average contestant isnt the sharpest of blades,
        All picked from the Jade Goody college of further education.😁

  7. It deserves a cunting for trying to force a blek man to win this year (bleks being as overrepresented on the show as in prison).

    Hehe, a white couple still won in the end.

    So I am told, obviously.

  9. Do they still have Tattoo squawking ” Da plane,Boss..da plane”?…He always made me giggle.

    • Dick，you should get on this show!
      Get your end away!!👌👈
      I can see the tabloid headlines now,
      As the traumatsed contestants are airlifted out wrapped in foil blankets!

      • Already applied,Mis…. “Pen” Farthing has organised a plane to fly me out there..Cheeky Cunt said that I’ll have to travel in the cargo hold and run the risk of being destroyed if I test positive for Rabies,Parvo,Hard-Pad,Mange etc….frankly it’s not a risk that I’m prepared to take.

      • Morning Mr F….do you reckon that “Pen” Farthing is a wrong ‘un?
        Perhaps he really “loves” his animals?

  11. It would be nice to see a group of our new friends The Taliban dropped in to fully enrich proceedings.
    Cunts Island of Cunts.

  12. Glad to say I’ve never watched a nanosecond of it.
    Rather stick fucking pins in my eyes

  13. Why are there no wobble bottoms on this programme ?
    An obvious case of fatism.
    A couple of 600 pounders, rolling around in the surf could make for some compulsive viewing.
    Especially if there’s a Japanese whaler in the vicinity.
    Good morning.

  14. Btw I think spazGB has just won its 3 billionth gold.
    That’ll be just 2 behind a royal family uniform.

    • “So that’s your fifth badminton gold medal. When did you take up the sport?”

      “Two weeks ago.”

      Great athletes? What a load of fucking bollocks.

    • Some of these alleged spaccos barely look disabled at all. Being educationally subnormal shouldn’t qualify you for the special olympics, otherwise all black athletes would qualify.

      • Mental elf, innit!

        They would say that because they look physically abled, doesn’t mean they’re not suffering due to mental issues. Which means they can compete in the Spazza Olympics

        It’s yet another card to be waved around when under the microscope of a critical public

    • Most of Prince Andrew’s “medals” are for his “Services to Female Youth Opportunities and Openings”.

      (Allegedly – Day Admin)

  15. I have a great idea for a show.

    Serial killer island.

    Same contestants as on Love Island, but with 5 or 6 of the most deranged serial killers of all time running about the place too. Lift home will come in about 3 days, don’t worry lol.

  16. Fook me ! There’s a bloke on the telly at the moment, Philip Normal, Artist, Labour councillor and gay activist.
    Campaigning for HIV awareness.
    Normal ?
    Hardly.
    Looks very dodgy.
    Release him into the boys dorm on Love Island.
    When they’re all wanked out and asleep.
    The aroma will drive him crazy.
    That’ll teach the cunts.

  17. Surely any “man” who watches this shite ought to be the subject of the cunting, not the programme itself, which is beyond parody?
    Although I’d watch it if a tsunami struck in the middle of filming.

  19. The Japanese were streets ahead when they made ‘Battle Royale” about 20 years ago.
    I’d watch a version of Love Island if they adopted that idea.
    Better still, don’t tell them until the last moment.

    I’m getting slightly worried about this erection now.

    • Good idea. Or they could cross it with that Japanese game show, Endurance.

      I used to think the Japs had demented TV shows but ours are now worse.

      • Oooh, you can’t beat ‘Takeshi’s Castle’!! Bridge Ball, High Rollers, anyone?

  20. Of course for those cunts living abroad they have their very own show called “Benefits Island”

    The aim of that show is to make your way into the UK by fair means or foul, and claim as many undeserved benefits, cars and housing as possible!

  21. How about a “Me Me Me Island”

    Possible candidates:-
    Princess NutJob
    Greta BigGob
    Katie BlowJob Price
    Kay OddJob Burley
    Megan bobajob Rapinoe
    Amber BigJobbies Heard
    Meghan Handjob Sparkletits
    Lily OntheBlob Mong
    and
    Naga rentagob Munchetty

    All of them fighting to hog the cameras while shouting “Me ME ME!!”

  23. Tracy Island.
    Fill it full of transbenders who call themselves Tracy.
    Then bomb it.
    Then have Afternoon Tea.
    Capital.

    • Yep, a B-1B full of ordnance painted up to look like Thunderbird 2.
      Super marionation?

      Super conflagration.

  25. The opening paragraph of the nom sums everything up in a nutshell.

    Superb nomination, and, I commend it to The House.

  26. Love Island needs a visit from Col Kilgore’s Air Cav! I’ll dust off my old flying suit and volunteer!

    “Gonna shove the skid right up her ass”.

  27. ‘Admittedly, some parts of the series have the fascination of a slow motion car crash – particularly when the resulting suicides are taken into account.’.

    Have you turned into J.G. Ballard?

    I’m shocked you know as much about this as you do, MMCM.

    A bit like a clever friend of mine who used to watch The Apprentice. Know the enemy, I suppose.

  28. A show specifically crafted for the intellectually insalubrious. I’d certainly tune in with glee however it if it were filmed on North Sentinal Island….

  29. Next series should be filmed on anthrax Island.
    Or, if time travel was possible, a pop back in time to bikini atoll.
    Or Iwo Jima.

    Vacuous filth.

  30. Brilliant nom.

    Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for that programme.

    Cunt Island – a particularly low point in a steady stream of cultural low points.

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