Carly Simon – You’re So Shite

Posted on by

Carly Simon is a cunt.

Hasn’t done anything of note for decades (if ever), and she has dined out for years on ‘You’re So Vain’. A crap song anyway, but the way cunts in the media are so obsessed about who it’s (supposed to be) about.

Simon has deliberately kept people guessing about this record, and dropping hints about who it was aimed at, gaining tons of publicity in the process. And this ridiculous ‘quiz’ is still going. Who is You’re So Vain about?

Seriously, who fucking cares?

Carly Cunt’s Version

This version with The Stones is better.

The Stones’ Version

Nominated by: Norman

79 thoughts on “Carly Simon – You’re So Shite”

    • Wasn’t it Woody Allen who said he wanted to be Warren Beatty’s finger?

      • Warren Beatty’s finger ?…that surprises me…I’d have expected some appendage attached to Paul Gadd to be Woody’s choice.

      • Woody isn’t a nonce, though. Mia Farrow is mental cunt who I’d maybe cunt on here if I could be arsed.

        (WordFence doesn’t like nonce, hence why your comment ended up in the MQ. Best look for alternatives next time. Cheers – Day Admin)

      • If not I’m sure Roman Polanski is free as long as you live in a non-extradition country.

      • Woody taking photos of his 15 year old adopted daughter in the rick is perfectly acceptable though, eh?😒

      • Wasn’t aware he took pics of his adopted daughter naked. If true it’s dodgy as. Is it true?

    • Soon Yi was way past 18 by the time Woody got with her and he’s ended up staying with her for decades, which hardly shows him as a Glitter.

      So, safe to babysit, yeah. I wouldn’t let Mia Farrow babysit, though, given she tried to coach her own kids into believing they’d been messed about with, and given that she brought up that mincer son, Ronan Farrow. There’s a cunt for you…

      • You missed out ‘allegedly’. I know whom I believe (hint – not Woody)

      • Thanks for pointing that out. Yes, it was alleged that she coached her kids. Two of her kids have alleged that and the allegations of abuse came from Mia Farrow 8 months after she’d found at Woody was having it off with Soon Yi.

        Hard to see how she didn’t do it for revenge, especially with her sending Woody Valentines cards like this. When someone is that deranged I wouldn’t believe fuck all they said.

        Ronan Farrow does back Mia up, but he’s a massive mincer worthy of a cunting.

  2. Another very horsey looking woman on ISAC.

    Mind you the Tyler fella is a very horsey looking man.

    For me the impressive thing is rhying ‘yacht’ with ‘apricot’.

    • ‘….as you watched yourself gavotte…’

      Definition of gavotte
      1: a dance of French peasant origin marked by the raising rather than sliding of the feet
      2: a tune for the gavotte in moderately quick ⁴/₄ time

      That’s pusing believability.

      • Nah he’s not up this early Miserable. Snoring away he is the ‘Oxford Dictionary of English Grammar’ fallen to floor beside his bed.

      • Yeah, and those coffees won’t make themselves, either. It’s a hard life being a barista and pretending you’re Petrocelli.

      • I’d have thought he sees himself as Quincy. You know the only coroner in the world who sees a dead body they decides to catch who did it despite it not being his job at all.

      • Always angry that Quincy wasnt he?
        Seemed a bit unstable to be a coroner?
        Usually cool calm and professional types.
        Always seemed at stage 2 of a nervous breakdown.
        The cops should of nipped it in the bud.
        You do your job and leave us to ours, and stop scowling!

      • There was one episode which involved him proving the Holocaust happened and another where he cured anthrax. I bet the other coroners hated the slacking cunt.

      • Quincy. Jack Klugman was a great actor. He was brilliant in the (original) Odd Couple.

    • Tyler has got some explaining to do about the very dodgy circumstances surrounding him and his adopted daughter. He seems to have got a free pass on this for some reason.

  3. She wrote it about me, but I’m far too modest to admit it! 😀
    And vain? The cheeky bint – I shall have words when I have finished sitting for my portrait!

  4. I always thought it was about James Taylor, but that’s just some shit I read in the media donkeys years ago.
    “Seriously, who fucking cares?” says Norman. Well you fucking do for a start mate.

    • Carlys a one trick pony looking cunt.
      I don’t think its a bad song, and think shes savvy to keep them guessing.
      I too heard it was Warren Beatty but in those circles it could be any mirror kissing LA twat.
      Theres loads of these Laurel Canyon types from the 60s an 70s that did it better,
      Carole King for one.

      • Carly humping the likes of James Taylor and Mick Jagger helped her career at the time. And some say ‘Vain’ is about Jagger. And Mick’s (alleged) response was the Stones song ‘Starfucker’. Where Mick (allegedly) tells Carly ‘I’ll make bets that you’re gonna get John Wayne before he dies. ‘Cause you’re a starfucker’.

        Lovely stuff.🤣

    • I’ve never understood the fascination with ‘You’re So Vain’.
      But Simon’s piss taking and teasing about who it’s about has daft cunts in the media falling over themselves. Robert Plant doesn’t drop constant hints about Stairway To Heaven or what (or who) it’s about, does he? But Simon has dined out on this song for years, decades. The obsession by the media with ‘Vain’ is down to Simon milking the damned thing. She had scores of famous knobs in the 70s and went down more times than Man City did in the 80s. So it could be about any fucker really.

  5. She actually wrote this song following a one-night stand with me….it is her response to my own ” You’re a Moose-faced old Cunt ( and you’ve got a fanny like a dustbin)”

    PS…Steven Tyler’s daughter, Liv , is worth a quick scuttle.

    • PS…I saw a most upsetting ad on the telly last night for Childline…it actually brought a tear to my eye and a little sob…apparently Esther Rantzen is still alive.

      • Liv Tyler is gorgeous.
        Her dad looks like a burns victim Mick Jagger.

      • I sometimes wondered if the dirty old man was knobbing Alicia Silverstone…she seemed to appear in a lot of Aerosmith videos.

        Morning,MNC
        Morning,All.

      • Morning Dick,
        I took a instant dislike to Steve Tyler soon as I saw him.
        Hes probably in his 70s now and still the type who wears sunglasses indoors, cowboy boots, and screeches
        “Are you ready to rawrk?!!!”
        That how he says ‘rock’, rawrk.
        Probably wears snakeskin thong undercrackers, hes a disgrace.
        And his music is pitiful.
        Just dreadful.
        Has he been tampering with Alicia Shiverbone?
        Yes.
        Why I despise him so much.😀

      • Esther is one of those people who I believe has real teeth. But she has so many of them they’re like ‘falsies’ filling up her whole mouth. And impeding her speech. Jacinda is the same. They mangle their words because they have so many teeth.
        There maybe an argument for ‘teeth reduction’ in both their cases.

        What will be the fate of Geronimo the alpaca Mr Fiddler? That’s what’s worrying me more.

      • Morning,Miles.

        It’s a shame but that Alpaca must be destroyed if it tested positive for bovine T.B.

      • In my circle she has been known as Esther Rancid ever since she stabbed Bernard Braden in the back.

    • I thought she did ‘Nobody Does It Better’, after your One Night Stand, Dick?

      • No,DCI…you’re getting confused with Belinda Carlisle’s ” In Too Deep” written after my bell-end tickled her tonsils when she climbed off the top of the step-ladder and straddled me.

      • Chance to renew acquaintances with Belinda soon. I trust you’ve got your Meet and Shag VIP ticket for October 11th in Gateshead, Dick?

        (PS is it true she changed her surname in memory of fond times with you in the north of England?)

      • I assumed it was ‘Hounds of love’ by Kate Bush – just how much have you been putting it about, Dick?

    • The lovely Belinda Carlisle was once asked if she’d actually been to Carlisle. She said she went just the once, and that it was shit.

      She’s right and all. We played them in the FA Cup in 1978, and the place is a total craphole.

      • Belinda wrote ‘I Get Weak’ after I shagged her out (in every sense of the word) after a dirty weekend in Blackpool.

        Last time I saw Carly Simon, she had Lester Piggott on top of her.

  7. Ok, I have to admit that the Hung Like Hanratty classics …..

    Clean Up Your Dogshit

    Overdose and Die

    The Devil Went Down To Wetherspoons……and….

    Stop Playing With Yourself

    are all allegedly about me. As soon as my application for Legal Aid comes through i’m suing the arse off those cunts. I’ve made it in the name of Abdul Mohammed Childmolester so I reckon i’ve got a good chance.

  8. The latest ‘coy’ revelation from the orthodontically wayward Simon herself confirmed the song was about Warren Beatty and also a host of others.

    She won’t reveal who the ‘others’ are. Well, there’s a surprise.

    Silly old fucking trout.

    • We’ve only Carlys word that Warren Beatty is vain.
      Maybe hes modest?
      Maybe warren innocently offended her ?
      “Braces could sort out your choppers”
      “You look a bit like Trigger,Roy Rogers horse”
      And shes spitefully accused him of vanity.
      Now if Warren combs his hair in the gents mirror,
      “At it again Warren? You fuckin love yourself!!”
      I think Carlys a vindictive cunt.
      The B sude of the single was ‘He bums binmen’ about Liberace but replaced on the reissue with ‘He killed his wife’.
      Allegedly about Robert Wagner.

      • They reckon old Waggy offed Natalie Wood (allegedly).

        That Stephanie Powers in Heart To Heart. I’d have knobbed that until my tadger fell off.

      • I reckon he did Norman.
        As quite a few law enforcement thought the same.
        Only witnesses were Wagner himself and actor Christopher Walken.
        The wicked pair of cunts.

    • Thing is, there’s plenty of candidates for ‘You’re So Vain’ because Horse Face Carly was such a goer in the 70s. You name ’em, she probably had ’em. Beatty was but one who was trawled in her shag-a-lot net at the time. Mick Jagger, James Taylor, Dennis Wilson (RIP), Jimmy Page and fuck knows how many others there was. What amazes me is how. Because she looks like Red Rum crossed with Janis from Doctor Teeth’s band from the Muppet Show. These rock star lads will shag anything, won’t they?

  9. I rather liked her ‘Nobody Does IT Better.’ Of course, The best Bond song, I think. Of course, Ms Simon is still not saying what ‘It’ is! Alan Partridge thinks ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’ was the best Bond film. Wanker.

    Good morning, everyone.

    • Good Morning Twenty.

      Dr No is the best Bond film and Carly Simon was definitely worth a poke back in the day.
      Bit horsey but I like that kind of thing in a woman.

      • Apart from NZ woke poster girl Jacinda Ardern who is horsey but is also a complete cunt.

      • Bond girls? Ursula Undress (naturally), Jill St John, Jane Seymour, Diana Rigg (RIP), Carey Lowell, Tanya Roberts (RIP).

        Bond themes? A View To A Kill, Goldfinger. I can’t remember half of them. Who the fuck sang the themes to Moonraker and Octopussy? Was it Rita Coolidge (I’d have given her one back in the day and all)?

        All post Dalton era Bond themes have been shite and that’s a fact. Garbage? Alicia Keys? Jack White? Adele? Sam Smith?!! For fuck’s sake…. Now they’ve got Billie ‘Dogfish’ Eilish. Whatever happened to Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones?

    • Partridge ? The Wanker’s Wanker.

      As for The Spy Who Loved Me, I ejected gallons of splooge dreaming of Mrs Ringo Starr’s tits which were prominently displayed in that film.

      • Morning Herman, Morning Isaac,

        I like ‘From Russia with Love’ best. The Mat Monro theme song was excellent. I also like ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’ despite Partridge. It was the best of Moore’s outings, I think.

      • Like Rigsby @20,000 I love Matt Munro ‘From Russia with Love’ really great song. I also love Nancy Sinatra’-”You Only Live Twice’.

      • Ringo is the spawniest cunt alive. Gets the Beatles gig after Pete gets the bullet. And then he’s screwing Spy Who Loved Me era Barbara Bach? What a jammy cunt he is.

    • I liked ‘For Your Eyes Only’.

      But only because I wanted to do unspeakable things to Sheena Easton (and still do).

    • I was that Warren Beatty id want the right to reply.
      Id put out a song called

      ‘your fanny stinks and your arsehole is a bit hairy for a lass’.

      See how Carly likes that?
      The grassing little cunt.

  11. Isn’t that sexist?

    Imagine if today a famous bloke made a song about a famous tart which called her ‘vain’?

    They’d be cancelling the cunt.

    Ok, when they do it.

    I like MNC’s song idea above. If I were WB I’d be getting some cunt to write that song for me, if he’s not a dead cunt, that is (can’t be arsed checking).

    • And if I check to see if some cunt is dead, I feel somewhat responsible if they are 6 feet under after I check.

      Does this make me a mental?

      • Not at all Cuntybollocks. Some years ago I had a boss who was a psychopath; I won’t bore you with the details. Recently I discovered that he had topped himself. He managed not to do a clean job of it and DCI’s colleagues spent half an hour trying to save him. Knowing that he had sunk into such a pit of despondency and went out in such a slow and painful manner warmed my heart. I cracked open a special bottle and celebrated.

  12. 🎵 Your dick’s got veins, I bet you think this song is about you. 🎵

    And actually, Cob-faced Carly, I do think the song is about me.

    Have you been peeking at me in the buff, through my window-shades?

    You saucy little horsey-faced trollop.

    • I once heard that ‘You’re So Vain’ was the only pop song ever to be played on Radio 3. Not that I’m impressed.

  13. You know Carly it takes two for a one nighter. He may be vain but there had to be few flags at least. Maybe you should do a followup song called “I’m so gullible”.

  14. “I bet you think this nom is about you, don’t you, don’t you?!”

    Sorry, couldn’t resist it.

  15. She looks like a albino baboon in profile.
    No doubt has the farmers to match.
    even Colombian’s finest wouldn’t have enticed me to have a fumble with this freak.
    Just goes to show how these cunts carry on

  16. I heard the song was about David Geffen of Geffen Records. And Luv Tyler’s looking a bit dopey lately. A bit like her dad

Comments are closed.