The Methodist Church

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Not the only meth in this picture I suspect.

For allowing gay couples to marry in their churches.

There was a great Not The Nine O’Clock News sketch where Mel Smith played a liberal Anglican vicar arguing for Satanists to be allowed into the Church. Very funny.
Well, sodomy used to be decried as one of the ‘abominations crying out for vengeance’.
Now it is to be celebrated. In church.

Two blokes getting married eh?-‘to have and to hold, from this day forward, till death us do part’. Does one say ‘to love, honour and obey’ I suppose the submissive one will say that.
‘Here comes the groom, here comes the groom, all dressed in pink’.
I wonder what poor John Wesley would think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWa3LyvFOdc

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-57658161

Nominated by: Miles Plastic

 

69 thoughts on “The Methodist Church”

  1. Good nom. This is where other denominations are or are headed as they too seek to bow to the Almighty Wokeness. We see the doing away with absolute Truth in so many ways.
    2+2=5.
    Fuck off.

    • I have to laugh at the fact that the Catholic Church seems to have
      declared itself as the arbitrator of everything that’s ‘pure’ in religion.
      However, place any of these cunts at the top of the tree and the result will always be the same – the ultimate destruction of man.

      • The set phrase final arbiter would suggest that “arbitrator” is stylistically perchance a whisper on the questionable side, Albert. Certainly not arrant nonsense, but perhaps a whisper errant.

  2. With gayness being so prevalent nowadays, they need to diversify into this sort of thing to stay in business, the money grabbing cunts!!!

    • I agree Cap’n, the lgbtxyz bus bandwagon is rolling along; any organisation must jump on.

  3. Protestants will accept anything if it’s trendy and “right on”. No backbone. Just look at the CofE. Women bishops, anti-Brexit, socialist to the core. Won’t be long before they allow gay marriage. Perhaps they already do?

    • Good nom Miles👍
      I dont get it?
      You either believe in the Bible as a Christian
      Or you don’t.
      Cant choose, all or nothing!
      Its not fuckin pick n mix in Woolworths.
      It hints at not really believing,
      A lack of commitment.
      Im not a Christian
      I have nowt against gays,
      But if your God says its wrong?
      What?
      He was mistaken? Ill informed?
      Have some backbone you turn the other cheek cunts!
      Call them out, tell them theyre doomed to burn.
      The carpet kissers at least takea firm view.
      Although partial to a bit of sword swallowing on the quiet.

      • Miles@
        In your nom, do you mean Ron Weasley?
        What would poor Ron Weasley think?..

      • John Wesley Miserable. The founder ogf Methodism. Reading about him he literally rode the length and breadth of the country preaching.
        I was sad to see the stone steps which were always outside the Temperance Hall here in Barnsley have been taken away. ‘John Wesley preached here’ and the date. He had a brother of course Charles Wesley. He wasn’t as outgoing as hiis brother but he wrote some of our best most oft-remembered hymns.

      • Wonder if he’s any relation to that cunt Brad Wesley who wrecked havoc in the town in the Patrick Swayze film Roadhouse?

  4. Unfortunately for the Methodist church their biggest congregations are in bummer hating Africa. “they eat the poo poo”. So good luck with that message. Even more redundant than the C of E.

  5. I wouldn’t be seen dead in a Methodist Chapel… especially if they were conducting some kind of Satanic Bumfest.

    • Agreed WS. All religion is the same. It teaches salvation is a work of man for God. However the Bible teaches that it is a work of God for man. But many religious denominations use the Bible as their Holy text. They obviously have to ignore or distort large parts of the Bible to believe what they do.
      It’s hard to find someone who will just teach what the Bible says no matter how unpopular it might be these days.

      • Same daft faury rales, different name. Methodists. How methodicsl.

        Christians hate homós but Jesus had two dads.

    • Dead right Willie. The problem we have in stating that people who believe all kinds of nonsense are fools is that the fools who believe in gods are actually protected by the law. As pointed out by Richard Dawkins you can tell someone they are talking out of the wrong end unless they say this is down to their religious belief, then you are breaking the law. One consequence of religious belief is the fact that we don’t elect our head of state. The royalists peddle the “Divine right of Kings” in all sincerity. Remember the definition of a cult; a cult is a religion of which you do not approve. All religions are cults.

    • Agree. Made up drivel from start to finish. Whenever I have the misfortune of having to sit through any religious shite (usually during funerals these days), I just have to tune it out and think of something else otherwise it just boils my piss, especially the shite where they talk about conquering death. Lying wankers.

    • Yep. Root of all fucking evil. My biggest gripe the s the fact the cunts have infiltrated the education curriculum with it and they have different schools for different religions.

      All schools should be totally non religious where children go to learn how to read, write, spell, speak, numeracy but more important, listening and applying critical thinking then questioning what they are taught.

      Far too much ‘parrot fashion’ style learning.where they are told / programmed with information with no thinking. Not much good when it comes to leaving school for the big bad world.

      If parents want their kids religious educated, they should do it at home or have them attend the religious worshipping house of choice at night or on the weekend. Not at school.

  7. Never understood why every organization whether it’s church or industry
    is hell bent on the gay scene
    It seems to me that there bean counters think it’s the right path
    How many are gay , I’ve no idea
    If I were a captain of industry
    I would be advertising to the majority
    I wouldn’t mention a gay , trans , or a fuckwit that’s undecided
    My motto would be
    Buy me because I’m just like you ,the majority
    Trump almost had it in the bag, but he was never the right man for the job
    It’s a pity

  8. It’s ok holding hands and the occasional peck on the cheek but surely they can’t approve of bottom action.

    The dirty bastards 😂

    • They do WHAT to other blokes arses?

      You telling me they put their fertile sperm in the dunghole of another man? not much respect for themselves, their biology, the future.

      And religions are fine with that?

  9. Never understood why any self respecting woman or poof would want anything to do with the Church.

      • They love munching the wafers pretending they’re noshing on Jesus’s holy wanger.

      • For some women, it is about social standing in the village. Cream teas, church raffles, making jam, jumble sales.

        I suspect there is more to it than my facile observations. Most of the churchgoing women I know have an overweening opinion of their own social standing.

    • Well said RTC, organizations that belied them
      but the benders push the agenda nonetheless
      Infiltrate every FaceTime of life
      I never minded before but the time has come

  10. All religions seem prone to bumfoolery behind closed doors so I suppose the Methodists are bowing to the inevitable. How they can square this with biblical teachings is beyond me. And why would shirtlifters want a church ‘wedding’ in the first place?
    Fuck knows.

  11. The Protestant faiths are so fucking desperate for “bums” on seats, they will take any fucker😂

    • Could install dildos on the seats. Give a new meaning to the word “pew”

  12. Churches are a business so as a cynical cunt I suppose they are chasing the ‘Pink Pound’ while pretending its about being “progressive” and “moving with the times”. The Gays are well-known to have surplus income with well paying jobs in the arts and the BBC, is this any different from say Amazon or IKEA putting the rainbow flag on their websites during Pride Month? Its sure as shit isn’t because they give a fuck about the fudge nudgers.

  13. What did I say to to get my post moderated and taken off? A hint would be good for future reference

    It was terrible, try to post better and contribute. “Gayness is a well known illness, practiced by deviants and flaky fruits, they should go down well with the methodist loons.” Oh I wonder why it got binned let’s call in Poirot. I wouldn’t mind, but all of your posts are this bad. Step it up. – DA

    • It is, Messieurs/Dames, très bon to observe that you are rigorously promoting and implementing the highest possible standards of probity, as well as precision in semantic, grammatical and syntactic accuracy. Most gratifying, DA.

      I easily deduce from your rediffusion of Onehullofacunt’s pre-moderated contribution above that your opprobrium to his buffoonery was quite obviously the lack of hyphenation in his ugly and pedestrian usage of that worn-out old pot-boiler «well-known». A shocking faux pas and no error. Everyone knows that phrasal adjectival constructions modified by “well” must be hyphenated.

      Well I laughed at least. Hercule CS it is. Sorry that wasn’t sarcasm, I do tend to enjoy your florid purple prose posts. They make a lovely change. – DA

      • Très bien, mais cela – ce n’est pas la chose principle. Le mec Onehullofacunt – il est incroyable

        Eh, bon. Maintenant c’est l’heure du dîner.

      • OneHull, perhaps it was moderated for your saying “practiced” instead of the correct ‘practised’.

      • Purple patches aside (I had a few of those yesterday with my Clerk), I hope you don’t get nightmares at my 975 word essay in which I solved those differential equations to make a little point about jumping up and down.

        I admit the otherwise pretty straightforward first year undergrad maths was rendered grotesquely opaque by the disappointing output via html and WordPress™.

        Sorry about that, but the point about jumping up and down and landing in a slightly different location seemed relevant – if a trifle arcane – at the time.

        [A simple dish of grilled sea bream, cauliflower and samphire with a light mixed-leaf salad dressed of wizened old black olives from Şanlıurfa and toasted belacan from Singapore beckons… tata]

        Nice enjoy, prefer sunchokes over samphire personally. – DA

      • That trifle arcane sounds nice CS?
        100s an 1000s sprinkled on the top?

  14. The West Boro Baptist church should start an outreach program. Their website godhatesf*gs.com if I remember correctly

      • Evening Komodo,
        I like that t-shirt,
        ‘Bible Gun camp’ 😁
        Id wear that!
        Because Christianity shaped this country and much of the things that make us ‘British’
        Im loathe to stick the boot in.
        Although personally id only join a religion that endorsed wild naked abandon, drinking and the Whicker man.
        You well?

      • Evening MNC. I’ll pre-empt CS to point out that “wicker man” is probably what you intended to say, rather than referring to Alan Whicker – a 50s/60s TV presenter of some charm and erudition, and only slightly satanic.

        That done, I’m inclined to agree with you, and bear in mind that while lampooning the crazier Christians is tolerated by Christianity (these days), no such tolerance is shown to those taking the piss out of Islam. A bit of old-school religion, complete with morals, ethics and manners, might not be a bad idea, much as I like the occasional debauched orgy.

        I am well, thank you, and I hope you are too.

      • Oh aye, im always well thanks.
        Doubt CS would be so rude to point out a simple spelling mistake and mock the grammatically challenged?
        Itd be a hollow victory.
        I remember Alan Whicker,
        A dapper man.
        A man who wore a cravat or neckerchief,
        And it suited him!!
        I tried that?…gyppo .
        Bet mrs Whicker moaned like hell with Alan coming home with upset tummy after all that foreign travel,
        Pebble dashing the loo.

        “Shirl!! Bring more bogroll!
        Ive the trots something terrible!”..

  15. It’s a gay person’s right to believe in the same old bollocks that straight people are allowed to, even though all the guide books, supposedly written in sky wankers own words, all say their lifestyle and sexuality is a sin and punishment is death, and burning for eternity. I wouldn’t join a club that thought that of me.
    Mental upon mental.

  16. Methodist Church services are rather dull as I remember. Here is my hand round up of Church experiences:

    C of E – dull as dishwater/like Robert Runcie talking straight at you for 500 hours
    Church of Scotland – spartan
    Salvation Army – brass band in uniform who wants money
    Catholic – won’t say anything in case I upset Miles
    Baptist – hands in the air/emotional
    Evangelical – same as Baptist with even more motivational speakers

    • Actually Cuntologist Wesley/Methodism.ain’t so far from Catholicism. Reference for formal liturgy, the Early Church Fathers. And a very near understanding of the sacramental nature of Holy Communion.
      Also, he refused to condemn Catholicism as ‘the whore of Babhlon’ stuff. And had dealings and dialogue with catholics. Almost unheard of from the times he was living through.

      • Well I think its fair to say all denominations are ultimately similar because they are all Christian! As far I know most denominations all recognise the Eucharist and that Christ died for your sins. Doesn’t matter; too much time has been spent by Christians debating doctrine and meaning.

        As for this Methodist move to welcome gay marriage; its a theological issue that each Church has to consider and is legally free to decide to welcome it or refuse it. On the one hand the Old Testament says it is wrong for a man to lie with another man, yet the New Testament does give the message of forgiveness and inclusivity.

    • The Wee Frees up in Scotland are pretty grim… They excommunicated Lord Mackay of Clashfearn, simply because he attended a friend’s funeral, in a Catholic Church. He just stepped over the threshold, that was enough…
      There’s no such thing as a free church.

  17. Catholic friend of mine married a Jewish girl in a. Methodist Chapel (they’re chapels not churches). All the others refused, so I’ve respect for them for taking a stand.

    If its legal for gays to marry then I have no problem with them having a religious ceremony if that’s what they want. Wesley would have agreed I think…

  18. Dioclese@
    Hope you are in good health?
    When you started up ISAC is the site as it currently stands what you had in mind?
    And if there was anything youd change what would that be?

    Ps
    For what its worth you did a good job,
    And know im not alone in enjoying it!
    Cheers👍

    • Hello MNC. Thanks for asking. Health actually not that brilliant but that’s life. Seems there’s something wrong with my brain thats not yet identified although CT scan confirms no tumour. I get uncontrolled spasms and have recently been conversing with several dead people. I have to have a DATScan next whatever the fuck dat is…?

      Actually I didn’t start up ISAC. The Eye was there as ever but the chief cook and bottle washer was a guy called Grumpy Old Twat or GOTTY as he was affectionately known. The site was a more modest affair then – maybe a couple of posts a day. Anyhow GOTTY disappeared. Just like that. And the site was left to die so I approached The Eye and asked if I could take it over. I was loath to let it die as I enjoyed it and recognised it for what it was – somewhere to sound off. Bit like an on line pub moan.

      Under myself, I’m proud to say it flourished but then I fell foul of the authorities. I published a post criticising a prominent MP. This was just after the Jo Cox murder and it was reported to the Met. I was dragged down to London and interviewed under caution. I think the DC in question had better things to do but in order for it not to proceed I wrote a sincere grovelling apology to the MP concerned and resigned from admin duties on ISAC handing it on to another like minded reader.

      Since then it’s gone from strength to strength. the workload is frankly too much for one person and there is now an admin team. I will not say anything about them in order to protect their anonymity. They do a first rate job IMHO. It’s not easy as I know only too well and they get fuck all for it.

      ISAC has no membership and never asks for donations. The server end is generously funded by The Eye. The admin team donate their time for nothing and we should all thank them for that. I think we share a common belief in free speech. They are trolled mercilessly and do a great job keeping the contributors on the straight and narrow. We should respect that in how we all deal with each other. They give fair warning to people who overstep the line (and sometimes the law) before kicking them off which I think can in no way be described as censorship.

      Is the site what I expected way back then? Well, I can’t say I gave it much thought back then but I think it is surviving being a victim of its own success and long may it continue…

      • Hope your health improves and thanks for your work once again.,👍

      • Seconded in spades MNC. Found ISAC by chance as I suspect most people on here did. It seems to me to be unique. It’s the only site where intelligent people can express honestly held opinions and views of the world without being amongst the nutters on the social media sites. The great thing is the way those who post are not constrained by what society in general decrees you should or should not think or say. Best wishes and good health to you Dioclese.

        Thanks Dio pointed this out to the rest of the team. – DA

      • Thank you Dioclese , for taking the the time to explain the background of ISAC and thank you MNC for asking the question
        Long live

  19. knobs caked in shit now … In 20 years Peodophillia will be accepted and god help anyone who objects. That’s if we last that long.

    • I’d accept lovely Liza Nandy in a schoolgirls uniform, just as long as she still had those lovely big and bouncy knockers

  20. Who would have thunk it, a Christian denomination actually trying to bring people together. Outrageous.

    Gimme dat ole time hate n’ division, it’s good enough for me.

  21. Supprised the church has taken so long to embrace the rainbow league, afterall most of the clergy are shirt lifters, or pedos anyway.

  22. They choose the Methodist Church
    Must have spotted an opening
    Can’t envisage the Roman Catholic Church allowing such , not currently
    They have their five minutes
    And then what , I want to marry my sister and my granddaughter
    I love the world but the people who are loudest spoil the afternoon

  23. Put the spunk tube in the lady hole and create a life anything else is just fucking around.

  24. “There was a great Not The Nine O’Clock News sketch where Mel Smith played a liberal Anglican vicar ”

    I remember it. He said “coming out of the toilet” instead of closet, but I guess it means the same thing to the likes of Mandy and Adonis…..

  25. The late, great; and wonderful Clive James once said.
    “Religion is an advertising agency for a product that doesn’t exist.”

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