My Job Application at the BBC (50)

Posted on by

The BBC, my application for a job.

Hello fellow cunters I’ve decided to get on the good old BBC gravy train, the golden tit, why not every other cunt is doing it.

I fancy a Lineker grade salary and believe I’m worth more than what that jug eared cunt gets paid

Here’s my job application, any additions before I submit it will be welcome. If accepted which I very much doubt I’d see it past one episode but I can see a good amount of compo coming my way. Here goes.

Application for presenters job at the BBC.

1. I am right of centre
2. I am anti woke.
3. I’m anti quota both racial and gender. Jobs should be awarded on ability, not colour or gender.
4. I am pro Brexit.
5. I am pro Boris Johnson (with certain caveats). After all there’s fuck all opposition at the moment.
6. I am anti BLM and believe they should be classed as a terrorist organisation. BAN THEM.
7. I am anti extinction (stinking) Rebellion. They should be classed as an anti establishment Marxist organisation. BAN THEM.
8. I believe that reporting should portray both sides of the debate, not just the extreme left.
9. I am not a Socialist, or should I say Communist.
10. I believe that police numbers should be increased.
11. I believe that illegals should be deported, no questions asked. If they want to come here the cunts should apply through the proper channels.
12. Send the illegal boats back to France. No taxi service to the UK by RNLI, BORDER FORCE, NAVY OR ANY OTHER LEFTY WOKE ORGANISATION WHO MISTAKENLY PORTRAYS THEM AS REFUGEES.
13. I believe that Covid reporting should be balanced instead of the project doom reporting currently operated by the msm.
14. I am anti woke football players dropping to the knee. Strange how many non England players in Euro 20 who play in the premier league never took the knee, but will gladly do it in PL games. I think you can label these as fuckin virtue sinalling sheep, and that’s being kind.
15. I am anti non binary gender. These cunts need to understand, there is only two genders, MALE AND FEMALE.
16. Although I do not live I  London (thank fuckin god), I believe that little anti British shit rat Khan should be removed from office immediately. He’s a cunt destroying the capital.
17. The incompetent Met police commissioner (Dick by name, dick by action, but actual confirmed dyke ) should also be removed from office.
18 I firmly believe that the BBC should be defunded.

Although I have no previous experience of presenting I do hope you find my application and CV acceptable. However as a white privileged 60+ year old male I do realise that I have none of the essential requirements for employment at the BBC although I have to say I definitely could do a better and more representative job than most of the incuntbents currently on your station. I await your job offer.

Nominated by: DLP 

68 thoughts on “My Job Application at the BBC (50)”

  3. Good Afternoon Sir/Madam/non binary.

    Thank you for your application Unfortunately at this time, due to the high calibre of potential candidates, we have decided that your application to jump aboard the BBC gravy train has been unsuccessful.

    I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in a position you had fuck all chance of being hired for.

    Kind Regards,

    Mr G Lineker.

    ps… I’m off to the Kent coastline now to hopefully pick a new tennant who’s washed up there today so I can post on Twatter about it.

  5. I look forward to you posting a copy of your rejection letter on ISAC.

    Then take the BBC to an employment tribunal claiming race discrimination and discrimination on the grounds of philosophical and religious belief. That’s w
    hat dark-keys and mudslimes do when they don’t get a job – may as well take a leaf out of their book.

    • I was bored a few years ago so I decided to try and write a book. Anyway I entered a competition to submit parts of my fucking shit book to whoever does the comp. I only found out later It was only open to fucking LGBT or other people of absolute cuntness. As a white straight male I was excluded from the competition. I was shocked at first. Then I didn’t care anymore. I gave in to the vitriol.

  6. Name: Mx Cuntess Organs
    Age: That’s ageist.
    Gender: Gender fluid – I can be male, female or any if the 100+ genders at any time.
    Preferred pronouns: Varies on my gender that particular moment. Could be: He/she/they/them – I will sue anyone who gets my current gender pronoun wrong at any time.

    Qualifications: BA (Hons) in Black and Gayness Studies from the University of Woke

    Experience: Led a feminist, dwarf, gender fluid workshop for those with gender based mental health issues caused by straight white males. Also wrote a column for the Morning Star.

    Hobbies: Rimming and felching gay dwarves. Taking the knee whenever I see a person of colour. Persuading small children to change their gender and hate their parents (if white).

    Expected salary: About 750k p.a like that Sarapong lady, for 3 days a week. I demand 2 days as I need one day off to protect against mental health issues due to having to see straight white males in the workplace.

    What are my chances?

    You got autofiltered for the word ‘dwarf’ if you care – DA

  7. Commie?
    Unhealthy interest in children?
    Read the Guardian?
    Insufferable, smug, arrogant, preaching hypocrite cunt?
    Pathological liar?
    Traitor to the Country and its people?
    Congratulations – there’s a job at the BBC or in politics just waiting for you.

    • Fuck me.
      Ive got a better chance of a job at the beeb than you and im a right Nazi!!!
      Although in my favour im a persistent sex offender and willing to cover up for others evil deeds.
      You need a angle!
      Something that makes you a asset.
      Wear a Bill Cosby mask and leather miniskirt while chest feeding a chinese baby at the formal interview.

  9. This reminds me of a job application I and a few friends made to BCG¹ during a “Milk Round²” in the late 1980s.

    In order to attend an outlandishly lavish and opulent³ day at their expense at the Garden House Hotel, all you needed to do was complete an EAF⁴ and turn up. None of my group were interested in working in management consultancy so we filled out the form in an analogous manner to DLP’s nomination.

    It was a long time ago now, but I recall things like: “in 5 years time I want to run my own large Singapore office with a staff of wet and willing high-class Chinese prostitutes”, “my interests include beating myself off into $100 bills, dismembering butterflies and hostile takeovers”… and suchlike puerile stuff.

    We all had a good day, we got very drunk and one of us was actually invited for an interview in London. He didn’t go.

    ¹ Boston Consulting Group
    ² a yearly fair where employers try to attract the crème de la crème to work for them
    ³ it really was a blow-out. Unlimited Bollinger Champagne and delicious buffets of fois gras on arrival. There was a huge outdoor barbecue with as much tender juicy steak and massive langoustines as you could manage, with amazing salads and side dishes and huge amounts of alcohol. BCG had the reputation of spending £20 000+ (30 odd years ago and maybe 150 attendees) on these slightly embarrassing half-day events
    ⁴ Employer Application Form

    • Langoustines are just pretentious scampi, CS.
      Upwardly mobile shrimp that look down on sea monkeys
      And dream of being lobsters.

      • Part of my point exactly, MNC. There certainly was lobster available too.

        The whole shebang was pretentious tomfoolery (and this was Cambridge, darling, so that’s saying something) – although a surprising number actually took it all incredibly seriously.

        This nom really reminds me of the ribaldry we had filling out those EAFs.

      • Jane Mansfield had lobsters up the bum.

        She suffered from a condition known in the medical trade as Lobsterisimus Bummakisimus.

        Sweet, charming, shy, mysterious girl, she was…

      • Do you mean Jayne Mansfield, RTC, or perhaps someone who works as a fishmonger in Ipswich?

      • Yes CS, Jayne Mansfield.

        Michael Mansfield QC is her idiot bastard son. Or so Derek told me.

      • Strange you should mention Michael Mansfield, RTC. I saw a bloke who looked just like “Gorgeous” George Carman in his prime on the DIY pizza counter in ASDA this afternoon.

        Seems Paul was onto something there.

      • I heard about when The Beatles were in America. Jane Mansfield grabbed George Harrison’s bollocks. Mansfield was also, apparently, a satanist. Not for nothing is it called Hollyweird.

  10. I went for a job recently, at the end of the interview one of the HR bods said, “Well your CV looks good and you’ve interviewed really well, have you got any questions for us.?”
    I said, “Yes I have. This place, it is at least two miles from any school, right?”….

  11. Maybe send it to ‘Anti’ Beeb, you will be in even without even attending an interview 👍

  12. Just say you’ll eat cock whilst taking the knee before reciting from Kerrang.

  13. BBC’s Jimmy Savile never wanted to work on radio or TV. He just wanted to settle down and have kids.

  14. You will never have it so good as the BBC’s Director of Creative Diversity, June Sarpong.

    £267,000 for a three-day week.

    Not bad eh? Another oppressed marginalised wimmiz of colour. She almost makes Lineker look like a grifting amateur.

    • Haha, the only person on the payroll that should be is Alan Shearer. I bet when he gets home after a session with jug ears he wants to give him a good whack. That’s tolerance when you have to take that shit home stewing in your head.

    • How June sourpong can look in a mirror without blushing I dont know.
      Absolutely shameless.
      And talentless.

      • I’ve shagged a couple of mixed race birds but that would be like fucking a mountain back. You have to draw a line in the sand at some point.

      • When you’re as black as Sourpongo is, it’s impossible to see if you’re blushing.

        She has a ‘Get Out Of Looking In The Mirror Without Blushing’ card.

  16. All you have to say on a Beeb application is the following:

    ‘Goodness gracious! Guys ‘N’ Gals! Say everything twice! Everything twice! Unnh!
    Rattle rattle. Jewelry jewelry! Owz about that then! Unnecessary gestures! Jingle Jangle! Say hello to my friend, Mr. Cigar! Ow old are you, darlin? Ur-Ur Ur- Ur!’

    You’ll be well in.

  18. Sir Jimmy Savile is still alive and kicking, he has a YouTube channel. Making sure the BBC never forget their cuntishness in harbouring this cunt and others. They should be shamed until the day they cease to broadcast.

  20. More Beeb news today.
    Jodie Whittakunt is leaving Doctor Who in 2022. And so is that cunt, Chris Chibnall.

    Can’t say I’m optimistic, mind. I dare say a Stakipani peaceful or a munter big BAME mama will be the next Doctor, and all the anti-white misandrist woke bollocks will go into overdrive.😒

    As for who’ll replace Chinballs? Another snivelling BLM loving peafceul apologist rainbow armband wearing emasculated woke fuckcunt. It’s more or less a cast iron certainty.

    Screw the BBC. God bless Hartnell. Troughton, and Pertwee (RIP).

    • Dr.Who-Kassim: Allãh be praised! Get in de Tardis, jaldi, jaldi.
      Assistant: Yes, the stench on this planet is foul.
      Dr.Who-Kassim: No, that’s just my breath.
      Assistant: This lever has shit on it.
      Dr.Who-Kassim: Oh, erm….Somebody was not washing their hands…
      Assistant: Probably the same person who shat in the urinal.
      Dr.Who-Kassim: Set the controls for Molesta 6.
      Assistant: Yes, there are hundreds of children trapped there. We must save them.
      Dr.Who-Kassim: Erm…Yes…save them..

    • Be a Tranny, Dr They.
      Betcha.
      Villians will be heteros, brexit daleks, and white Cybermen.
      The Tardis is a safe space
      K9 gone dogging
      And the sea devils are a protected marine species saved by Greenpeace.

      • Oh I’ve heard of safe spaces before. I dont trust any cunt. So you can retract that statement. Show you hand.

      • I think not, it will be the Gay Daleks, “exfoliate, exfoliate, get her who does she think she is”.

      • Nobody, after what the BBC have done to it. They are the only cunts who are daft enough to kill a golden goose and still expect it to still thrive.

  22. If you want to get a commentary job for the boxing on the BBC, it seems you need to talk like Ali G.

    Fucking hell, have you heard the cunt that’s doing the Olympic boxing commentary?

    Is it that Dizzy Rascal cunt?

    Booyakasha innit, blud?

  23. On job interviews….

    I once went along to a construction yard as I’d seen an advert in the local paper saying they were looking for an ‘odd job’ man …..
    I met up with the site forman and he said the job was fairly straight forward but he needed to ask just a couple of questions … He asked ..’At break times could you brew up a cuppa for the lads ? ‘ … I said yes, of course I’m sure I could manage that … then he asked .. ‘Can you drive a forklift ?’ … I said … ‘How big is this fucking tea pot like ?’ ..

    I’ll get my coat …

  24. Dear DLP- when can you start?

    Only joking- Fuck Off

    Yours sincerely (not)

    BBC

  25. I had an interview recently.

    Woman from HR – “Tell me where you see yourself in five years time.”

    Me – “I’d say that one of my biggest strengths is listening”….

  27. Dear Sir,

    Thank you for your application.

    Due to you having common sense coming out of the ying yang we regretfully have no positions available.

    Please feel free to apply again if you become non sensical, obtuse and borderline gaga

    Good luck with your job search.

    Yours sincerely,

    Mr/Mrs/Non defined gender A.B.B.C Bellend.

  28. Don’t be so sure you won’t get in. All you to do is lie through your teeth, change your name by deed poll to something more exotic, claim you’re transitioning and that you’ve applied to work at Amnesty International. Once at the interview wear your prettiest Nichola Sturgeon outfit, frumpy flat shoes and the saddest wig you can find. A discrete Labour Party badge on your lady jacket lapel will be sure to impress.

  29. Tank you for you enquarry. I cn tell you we is now cas’in a Whi’e Colonialiss Opwessa n slave-owner fo a wemake of Emmerdale, and we wan’ you come to innaview, inni’. Hey, you wri’e da res’, honky, wo’ we pay you fo’?…..

    Alternatively, as we update The Archers to reflect today’s vibrant ghetto culture ( note, the programme will continue the general enlightened trend and be directed by people from da hood and empowered feminists, in accordance with the Corporation’s guidelines), we will be looking for a character actor to play Brian Aldridge as he is gunned down in his farmyard by the righteous BAME posse reclaiming the land that he stole from them in 1700.

    We look forward to hearing from you…

  30. Ffs you sound frighteningly like me . Or are you me and I forgot I typed it? Hang on a minute something odd is happening here……

Comments are closed.