We’ll run out of images of these two, when they stop doing interviews.
THE MARKLES; an everyday story of cunty folk
The story so far; from the seclusion and privacy of her palatial Californian home, the Duchess of Netflix continues to rage against unflattering coverage in the British press: now read on
“Sue them! Sue those Goddamn shits ta hell!” shrieked Meagain, as she stomped furiously across the room. “Whadd’ya mean, we ain’t got a case? Yer a lawyer, ain’t ya? Find one! What in tarnation am ah payin’ yer fer?”. Stamping her foot angrily, the Mistress of Malice hurled her phone against the wall. “Goddamn bas-turd lawyers!” she snarled, before pausing to massage the vein throbbing meanacingly in her forehead.
There was a rustle of movement as Harry the Half-blood Prince crept from his hiding place behind the sofa. “Er, I say old thing” he whimpered. “Is, er, everything alright?”.
“Alright? Course it ain’t, ya haffwit! Ain’t ya seen what those bas-turds ah callin’ us? Looky here! ‘Dumb and Dumber’, thet’s what, cos we turned down the title ‘Earl a’ Dum-burr-tahn’ fer Archie, account of it contains the word ‘dumb’. Fuckin’ assholes!”.
“It’s *cough* pronounced ‘Dum-bar-ton’, my sweetness”, mumbled the Duke of Despondency nervously, then added hopefully “mmm I say sugerlump, is there any chance that you could, you know, save those words like ‘fuck and asshole’ for later, before bye-bye time…”.
“Jesus H Chraast, ya moron”, screamed the Princess of Perfidy, “cain’t ya think with sumthin’ other than yer dick?”. Her thin hips twisting into a snarl, she yelled “see here how they’re laffin’ at ya fer puttin’ ya last name as ‘HRH’ an’ ya first name as ‘The Dook a’ Sussex’ on Lilabet’s birth certificate. They’re makin’ a laffin’ stock out of us”.
A furrow slowly formed across the Duke of Dunces’ forehead as he struggled to grasp the problem. “I say, that ain’t cricket, don’cha jolly well know” he piped up. “What did they expect me to put, plain old Henry Charles Albert David Windsor? Besides which, Americans love all that ‘HRH’ stuff”, he added huffily.
“Ah tell ya Harry” thundered the Duchess of Darkness malevolently, “there’s gonna be some changes when ah’m president in a couple a years… WHAT??” she yelled in response to a timid tap on the door.
” *a-hum* excuse me Ma’m” squeaked a faint, tremulous voice, a flunky shuffling fearfully in. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but I wondered, if it’s not too much trouble, whether you could possibly lower your voice a teeny bit? It’s threatening to wake the baby up…”.
The eyes of the Princess of Purgatory swivelled, focussing on the hapless target like white-hot lasers. “How DARE ya come in here without curtseying!” she bawled at her shaking victim. “And you are to address me at all times as ‘Your Grace’. Now get outta here!. Landsakes, Harry”, she stormed as the shivering figure crept away. “Ya jest cain’t get decent help these days! Ah’ll fire her in th’ mornin’ fer sure. Say, you even listenin’ ta me now?”.
“Er, sozzers, dearest”, said Halfwit, with a sob of relief. “Here’s the chauffeur to drive me to the airport. Got to get to London for the unveiling of Mamma dearest’s statue, what? Must fly!”.
As the door slammed behind the hapless Prince, the Duchess of Duplicity sank on to the sofa, her head in her hands. Picking up her phone, she jabbed furiously at the lawyer’s number once more. “That Haddaway an’ Shyte?” she hissed viciously. “Lissen up. Ah wanna know whether ‘mental inadequacy’ is grounds fer divorce in California…”.
To be continued.
Nominated by Ron Knee
Additional post by – Dark key cunt
The Sussexes (again).
They’ve been awarded some gong for publicly stating that they will be limiting their family to two children.
I spout the fucking obvious all the time but I don’t have any awards for it. I’m a hell of a lot more sensible than the ginger whinger and his witch but no-one sees fit to give me a pat on the back, let along a gong.
The attention-seeking of these two cunts and the even thicker cunts that believe how important they are is sickening.
Fuck ’em all!
And again by – Duke of Cuntshire
What have the Halfwit-Hewitts been up to this time?
It seems that they have been given an award for limiting their family to two children.
I imagine that it’s more to do with drawing attention to the “charity”, Population Matters, who issued the award, rather than a genuine acknowledgement of something worthwhile.
In the link above it states that; “Prince Harry mentioned his intention to have no more than two children during a talk with chimpanzee expert Dr Jane Goodall in Vogue magazine in 2019”.
You couldn’t make this shit up.
And still yet more by – Komodo
I may well not be the first to cunt this particularly glorious story. Which is about Meagain and Hairy – which glorious story isn’t? It starts here:
Population Matters says its campaign to limit families is designed to achieve a ‘sustainable population’, despite their agenda’s similarities to Communist China’s notorious one child policy.
No complaints so far. There are far too many people on the planet, and the struggle for resources is getting bloodier by the day, to name but one consequence of this. But….
Population Matters – a UK based charidee) – has awarded the Duke and Duchess of Woke their Special Award (ie created for the purpose) for not having more than two children.
Note that these two professional parasites live in the absolute lap of resource-squandering luxury in California, where the average number of children per family is less than 1.9. Wow. What a sacrifice! And will they give it back when the rubber rips next time? Remember, Black Lives Matter – even quadroon lives matter a little bit – and she’d have to keep a byblow. Perhaps.
All right, any measure tending to reduce the number of gratuitously privileged cunts dangling from the Windsor family tree can’t be bad, but, even so, this ranks with Save the Children’s 2015 award to the megacunt Blair…
https://charitywatchuk.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/save-the-children-blair/
…as blatant arselickery and fawning to the most sanctimonious shitstirring woke cunts imaginable.
They should have given the award to me. I have no children at all, and am in no danger of having any.
Thus concludes another exciting week of the adventures of Harry & Meghan. Will they manage a week without being nominated several times? Well I’m not Mystic Meg, but it seems unlikely.
Hilarious Ron, these short stories should be published more widely…..
“is there any chance that you could, you know, save those words like ‘fuck and asshole’ for later, before bye-bye time…”.
Brilliant!! 😂😂😂
11
Thanks Sick; glad you like them!
6
Apologies Admin!
I’m afraid that I for one am like a wasp around a jar of jam where these two self-regarding, tone deaf twats are concerned. I just can’t help myself.
12
I detect a certain lack of deference from the above cunters.
It’s a fucking disgrace.
9
I am surprised that you, of all contributors to this august site, see fit to criticise your fellows. You manage to make the most depraved of us look like upright citizens.
4
I thought this pair of cunts were taking paternity/maternity leave for three months? Leave from what I wonder? Not from publicity seeking, whining, virtue signalling and accumulating money that’s for sure.
14
On the two kids award, I thought any talk of population control was considered racist, Africa have a limit of, well no limit, and don’t worry about feeding them Bob Geldof will sort that out.
11
I wish that somebody would sort that scruffy old cunt out.
On the ‘two kids’ thing, I reckon that we should have a whip round and get a medal struck for the twats.
11
The Ron Knee Show is back in town presenting the trials and tribulations of the Markles Family. Hallelujah!
11
Once Halfwit uses his influence to allow ol’ milk chocolate Markel to get her feet on the ladder to become a Senator, he will be obsolete.
He has given his ginger muck to her for two kids, made her very rich and (in)famous and is now using/abusing his title to influence some very important people in the Demonrats to get her where she ultimately wants to be – in the Whitehouse.
Sorry Harry Hewitt, if you can’t see it coming then you are even thicker than a castle wall filled with liquid pigshit.
14
ps great nom, Ron.
8
Thanks to Messrs M and P for kind comments!
6
Brilliant as always, Ron.
Is there no end to Hewitt and Megain’s cuntitude?
7
Thanks Norman.
6
I feel that there is no end to the cuntitude of this pair. It is due , in my opinion, to the fact that they are so far removed from reality that they actually believe what they are saying.
On the other hand it could be down to being a pair of colossal cunts.
5
I agree, Guzziguy. Harry and Megain will be infinite cunts. Unless theres’ a scrape in a Paris tunnel, of course.😉
0
I say Mr Knee did you use the same company that possibly spied on Mr Hancock in his office ?
If so,jolly good show.
I must say this pair of cunts should attend the State Opening of Oven.
13
I haff mah spies Unkle T… couldn’t possibly comment further for fear of incriminating my sources.
7
Sorry Ron. Think I’ve blown your cover (below)
6
What are the odds these pair of spoilt cunts will come running to the defence of Rashford, Saka, Sterling and other dark key England players after all the “racist abuse” they’ve been receiving for being shit in the final last night!
I doubt they give two fucks about football, but given that the game is going viral on social media, they probably won’t be able to help themselves by getting involved.
11
The Markle Manipulator will be working out how to make some mileage out of the Rashfordgate saga.
She will be checking social media in the US to see what, if any, repose there has been.
Trouble is William has already put out a tweet condemning the racism.
8
Some people just can’t miss an opportunity to get to involved and try stealing the limelight… https://mobile.twitter.com/JolyonRubs/status/1414578005737881605
2
Best wishes to all – opening bat post.
Best title I can come up for formal future posts on these two sold-out fallen souls:
Harry-Hewitt-the-Halfwit-Prince-of-Bell-air-head and Megan Sparkle-tits, Imperial Ruler of the Dark Side …
erm … underdone … need to squeeze three or four cunts in the title …
Best regards to all, County Boy
5
@Ron: You couldn’t have made that up. God help you if Meghan ever notices the florist’s daily delivery always contains a microphone.
12
Sick of the sight of them, the sound of them and the presence of them, just fuck off and never pollute my eyes or ears again you ungrateful cunts!!!!!
13
I am just surprised that Hewitt didn’t try to become a Labour MP – one of Starmers Charmers – knows fuck all about real life, doesn’t want to know about it, self-regarding, fawns to every minority, wants to do good and go to heaven and would love to patronise the lower orders, just as long as he doesn’t have to meet them.
If babies came out of the back passage, he could have been Mandelson’s son
2
Off topic
Jaipur: Lightning strike kills 16 taking selfies in India.
11
Bet that was a shocking experience for them!
11
There IS a god. Presumably Kali the Destroyer? Good on yer, Kali.
6
Hold it flash bang wallop what a picture. You know the lyrics.
4
I sense our government will be engineering some lightning strike weather systems to keep people indoors and in fear soon. Keep those angry feet off of the street.
2
This pair of cunts have been nominated 13 times as a couple and more individually, as a general opinion barometer as to how the UK,s general population feel about these arse clowns i think 13 times says it all, im surprised they havnt had plastic surgery and moved to the Sudan where no one knows them and they may even be appreciated.
This business model for Me-gain has backfired spectacularly as she thought she was going to be the next Diana but she hadnt banked on the UK public and press, i think she,s going to have more similarities before its all said and done and then she will get enough tv coverage for a lifetime….utterly useless pair of cunts….
They’d be way up in the 20’s had we not started a weekly megathread combining them. – DA
8
Superb Ron.
We missed your input👍
8
‘There was a rustle of movement as Harry the Half-blood Prince crept from his hiding place behind the sofa’.
No Ron his hiding place is not behind the sofa, its behind the ‘bench’. I have my sources as well and they tme that when Meghan orders him to go and sit on the Bench to bond with. Archie he does go but gives the child up to lookalike.
And the real Harry just sits bend the bench playing Minecraft.
6
Would I be correct in assuming that English is not your first language, Miles? 😃
Good afternoon.
6
Calling a book for children The bench sounds bizarre but after you read the countless poor reviews, it appears the whole book is as bizaree as its title. The Irish times summed it up nicely… https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/meghan-markle-has-written-a-children-s-book-it-s-awful-1.4588508
3
Star stuff, Ron. Keep up the good work. Like fellow cunters, I am sick of the sight and sound of the Hewitts
Sadly for them I see a dark tunnel beckoning – or so my Gypsy Fortune Teller predicts.
The only award they deserve is “Cunts – permanent grade 1”
6
I see Dirty Harry came over for the unveiling of the slag statue but didn’t hang around to hobnob with his family. Couldn’t get his arse back to Sparkletits quick enough.
Meanwhile back in Yankland I hear the IRS are sniffing around the “Archiewell Foundation” questioning whether it should have charitable status. Fuck me, once those cunts get their claws into you they never let go until they’ve screwed every last dollar out of you. Sparkletits better get her legs open and get busy, the dirty bitch.
9
I bet she ordered him not to talk to the family aside the basics required in the unveil.process. Hard to believe this was a man who faced battle in Afghanistan.
1
As usual,the media have got this all wrong. The duchess of deceit is only having 2 kids with the village idiot. She plans to have 2 more kids with Elton John.2 with Orlando Bloom,2 with lenny henry, you get my drift. The dirty evil conniving whore.
10
I can’t see Fat Reg shagging her. If he did he’d surely want to do her up the bum. If I recall my school biology lessons correctly you can’t get up the duff like that. Mind you, in this world of trannies, non binaries, gender fluids etc, I could be wrong. I shall order a text book from Amazon in the morning.
5
The thing I can’t get my head around is it’s like they have hit the self destruct button?
This is a woman who had the world at her feet. She was welcomed by the open arms of the public right from the start, had the fairytale wedding to a prince (many young girls dream of) and then goes nuts screaming media intrusion _ hints on racism,. She then f actuates a FF an arm of the royal family and flees to America only to then open up her life & spill the beans while costing up to every MSM organisation?
I’m honestly consider that this was all planned before she married him. Things took a distinct turn when she started sacking staff and employed the PR services of a company with known association to the Clinton’s.
My prediction is this won’t end well and Harry will have to return being little boy lost. I actually hope it happens sooner rather than later to spare the kids from the shit storm while they’re young.
4
**she then fractures an arm off the royal family**
3
The ginger prince is that much of a dick head, that to have a vasectomy would be a lobotomy.
4
Excellent nominations, all of you. 🙂
Harold and Megatron given an award for having no more than TWO children? Bunch of cants.
I don’t have ANY children. Where’s my award? A years supply of cakes, please. 🙂
I don’t know if it still goes on, but I think there was a tax in China if you have more than one child you must pay tax. I might be getting mixed up, though.
1
Great nom Ron.
The pair of them could do with a “knee-ing.
1
Megan has become the modern day Jr Uwing the person everyone loves to h😭te
0