Alexa (and kids crying to mummy due to it)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-57680173
Apparently the handful of lasses (may be some lads too, you never know these days) called Alexa are getting howwible jibes in the school play ground, things such as being told “Alexa, dance” etc. Didd fucking ums.
In my day there wasnt a kid in school who didnt get the pleasure of being chased, kicked, harrassed and called every name under the sun. You just tell them to fuck off and smash them in the bollocks.
Its called growing up.
Complaining about a fucking voice activated computer bitch.
Fuck off.
(Commentary on the stupidity of voice activation devices in general are welcome – NA)
Nominated by: GeneralZod
If they’re called Alexa their parents are the sort of cunt who worry about what wage slave Vlad or Svetlana will make the sandwiches at ‘Pret’p after Brexit.
3
Unfortunately we are tracked constantly by these monumental cunts.
Great cunting, thank you.😎
2
can I digitise your face. look into the selfie camera straight on three quarter left and right, top a bit down thanks, helps me put names in your happy facebook pics.
Who are all your friends? I’ll just access all of them from your email twitter linked in etc, may not tell you about it thought you’d agree. anyhow its done now.
let me set up your login. Index finger. Thumb. All the others. Other hand too, and your palms. Toes yes while we’re here. Press now your nose. and your dick, never know when we’ll need it, oops when it will come in handy for you.
Say that phrase again, higher pitch lower pitch. Now Outside where there’s not much echo. Back inside, I can turn on the lights, don’t worry I can see where you are already with the IR scanner and I’ve already scanned your body to recognise your gait.
Anyhow, you wanted me to boil the kettle?
Nah don’t worry about Wifi for me, I’m already linked and they already pay for it. You just have to buy your own.
We are the dead.
Yes you are the dead.
8
I’m a tech dinosaur it seems. The phone I have hasn’t got any apps installed other than those put on at factory (most never used even once) and I don’t have a Google account to get any apps from them either. I cancelled all sky TV & internet years ago. The next most modern technology in my house is an LCD TV I bought over a decade ago. I’m hearing I have a firestick new in box I wouldn’t know how to use.
I wouldn’t have the know how to use / set up any of these modern devices in a way I was sure my data was safe so I don’t bother with any of it. Even my TV is hardly on until late night as daytime TV programs, news and adverts are a cunt.
I listen to music & radio mostly. I’d rather listen to views of people I don’t know phoning in to stations and read real people’s opinions on here than listen to paid actors on BBC & Sly drip feeding me their narrative of choice.
I’ve never filled my life with tech stuff, so I’m not feeling that I’m missing out on anything aside the ability to watch some high profile sport events on TV. Friends visiting say I live like someone 30/40 years older because I can’t give them a WiFi code, I say go home and surf in your own house. Cunts.
2