Pornography (2)

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Has anyone noticed how boring and soul destroying modern pornography is?

When I was a young teenager nothing was more exciting than illicitly acquiring a few porn magazines. Whitehouse, Lovebirds, Fiesta, Mayfair and even those crummy little black and white contact magazines were intoxicating and became treasured possessions, to be hidden under the bed or at the bottom of a draw, away from the prying eyes of my mother.

Of course the quality was appalling and many of the models looked like they were doing it for drug money. But it was great, nonetheless. Just occasionally we would come across the real deal, a Danish porn magazine like Colour Climax and I would disappear into my bedroom for hours on end.

That soon came to an end when my mother discovered my new hobby, alerted by my bleary-eyed and tired appearance, and my prized collection disappeared. She did however leave untouched a few copies of Mayfair, perhaps wisely concluding that it was fairly harmless stuff and that I should have some outlet for my sexual frustration or else a pregnant girl might appear on the doorstep.

The problem with modern pornography is that it’s too available. The average 14 year old boy must have seen it all by now. The glamour and excitement has gone. And for the most part the porn is too soulless and explicit to be enjoyable. Every perversion is catered for and once you’ve seen it all, and there’s nothing left to show, all the mystery has gone and there’s no place left for the imagination to roam.

The moral question has always dogged pornography. Is it exploitation? I don’t think the models are exploited and many are paid well. They and the producers are the ones doing the exploiting. I have no doubt that it can mentally harm models that do it for a long time.

Anyway, the whole modern pornographic industry has become a cunt. They’ve robbed our teen boys of the innocence and excitement of the Great Porn Quest, which was a right of passage.

Nominated by: Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine

and seconded by: Infidelgastro

I’ll second that. Those well thumbed little books were like treasure. My brother had a few and I once showed them to some older kids in our air raid shelter. They made me leave and I had to wait outside whilst they perused them. They’d arrive in droves every day until my mum cottoned on. Then my brother copped it.

Magazines with a fully clothed woman on the front and removing an item of clothing every page. Suspenders, stockings the lot. It normally became too much before the end as it is now.

Fucking hell I miss those days and those granite erections too.

144 thoughts on “Pornography (2)”

  1. An timely cunting. Yes I remember going along the old railway line where I lived and we would always find an old Whitehouse or Mayfair in the grass. Slightly soggy(rain you manky baxters) and with the obligatory clip sheers inside. Take it home, hide it , take it out later and…….well you know the rest. And the pictures were erotic at that age. Porn on the net today is mechanical soulless crap.

    • Speak for yourself guzziguy, I’m 66 and can still fuck like a rabbit, Lady Quimson can vouch for that!!!

    • I know what you mean Guzzi, I can’t even manage a hard stare these days. There are some filthy degenerates on here who seem to get the ‘orn at the most inappropriate images. I won’t mention any names to protect the guilty, dog knows why the perverted swine.

  3. Popping down to my local newsagent at the age of 15 and being welcomed by a “knowing” Mr Patel, the owner.

    I’d be standing in front of the magazine racks pretending to look at “Computing Today” or “Sincliar User” while covertly glancing upwards at the top shelf and “Mayfair”, “Men Only”, “Club International” and “Penthouse”

    Had to wait for all the customers to fuck off out of the shop before I grabbed some or all of the above, handed them over to Mr Patel along with a fiver. And he would hide my embarrassment further by tucking my dad’s daily copy of The Sun inside one of the mags.

    Happy days!

    • What Micro? Your Computer. Personal Computer. Gosh, just some of the titles I bought back in the day. A relative used to send me copies of Byte magazine as well. A weighty read, but well worth the effort.

      I miss the simplicity and exclusivity of it. It felt special to be ‘into computers’ back then. Now every cunt’s got several and thinks they’re a hot shot because they can surf, email and download anything and everything.

      Fuck off!

      Computers and the internet were meant for IT professionals only. Techno, you with me? 😉

    • Remember as if it were yesterday. Waiting to summon enough courage to take the chosen magazine(s) to the counter, where more often than not the proprietor was Indian or Pakistani.

      Once told by a woman behind the counter that I was too young to purchase such material and had to leave the shop empty handed. Never forgot that or the newsagents that it happened, next to Goodmayes train station.

      Started off with Mayfair or Penthouse, moving on to Whitehouse or Playbirds.

      Remember a friend coming back from Germany with some hardcore porn, including Animal Farm.

      Then onto VHS porn films, which I rented for £1 for a couple of days. Always made me smile that the video was always placed in a Happy Shopper paper bag. Right next door to the local curry house so would get my take away at the same visit.

      Really happy days never to be relived.

      • Remember the not the nine o’clock news skit about the meek customer in the sex shop being offered a bag to carry his purchases. Thinking he’ll get a plain paper bag instead he gets a bag with SEX and PORN etc in huge bright letters.

  4. My brother and I had a stash of porn and an out of date Durex hidden under the floorboards in our bedroom. We are both at boarding school and one Wednesday evening are summoned to the housemaster’s study who informs us that the stash has been found by some bastard who had come to fix the gas and presented them to mother with the words “I believe these are yours madam “. Mother had tried to delegate dealing with us to housemaster who she thought would beat us but sensibly told her it was not a school matter and he would give us an exeat on Sunday for my father to deal with. My old man collects us and marches us into the dining room and lectures us on the perils of living with 4 females in the house, he had included our 2 dogs, who didn’t need corrupting. He then produced a stick and said for “Christ’s sake Yelp when I hit the chair”
    About 20 years later, when he died, I found the stash in the back of his wardrobe.

  5. Modern porn is badly effecting young men. Seems they can’t get turned on by a seeing some pussy anymore and when they get a real woman in bed they need to reenact the extreme activities they’ve been jerking off to for the last few years.

    A great cunting and one that’s brought back a lot of memories of hedge porn to us older cunters. It does seem the more permissive society gets the more it deteriorate.

    The west has been poisoned in ever increasing steps over the decades that followed the war. Gangsters are now hero’s to many not the few, deviancy is celebrated and people have become narcissistic and hedonistic letting the values that sustained our society fall into
    The sewer.

    Porn didn’t cause all that too happen but it’s an ingredient in the mix. I do like to live in a free society and people should be able to make their own choices but lads going through puberty shouldn’t be able to access extreme porn just by doing a google search.

  6. It’s got to fuck teenagers up, that’s for sure. They probably all think the men need to have 12 inch dongers and six packs and can go for hours. The women they pound all have big tits and have orgasms every time.

    But enough about my sex life, this sort of thing must create a warped version of sex for the younger generation. I bet loads of young lads think it’s normal to whip it out when you’re going to blow your load and unload on her face (when it’s your or hers first time). I bet a few lads have been screamed at for that lol.

    I recall the rights of passage too, of grabbing a scud magazine from the top shelf of a newsagent you never usually visit. Looking in both directions first outside to check nobody is coming in. A quick glance up, grab a mag or two without really looking properly and putting them on the counter with a tenner. A whimper of ‘keep the change’ and I hurriedly shoved it into my already opened rucksack.

    It was a military operation. Like D-Day, sometimes it had to be postponed due to a girl from the office being inside the shop or somebody walking along the pavement in the general direction of the shop.

    Due to not checking, I did end up with a few dodgy mags on occasion. Readers Wives was full of munters (fag ash Lils in council houses with their diseased rats out). Wasn’t Rose West in it once? One mag had naked women having their feet sucked on almost every fucking page. Fucking weird.

    It took an SAS type mission to browse the art pamphlets carefully before buying though.

    They have it easy nowadays, just a few clicks on the phone for a free tsunami of filth, but it’s got to be fucking people up.

    Repent!

    • Foot sucking?
      Wouldn’t be a redhead from round Windsor way, would it??

  7. I often have wankgst after selling hello to my monster whilst watching a scud flick. I have a weakness for Secretary porn, white blouse, glasses, black skirt, stockings. I do reminisce sometimes for Club International magazine, the holy grail of scud mags. Razzle wasn’t bad although the readers wives could look like Arthur Mullard on occasions.

    • Bob@
      No word of a lie, I once saw Rose West in Readers Wives!
      Before she was famous obviously.

      • Afternoon Miserable. Fucking hell, I bet that dirty bastard Fred took the pictures as well. The pair of horrible cunts.

      • I bet Rose West was probably one of the dirtiest cunts you could get in the bedroom. Obviously you would need to shut your eyes tight and pray Fred didn’t come out and clock you from behind with a candlestick. Her that does them cruising programmes on the telly often singing a couple of songs often triggers the wild shagger type radar too.

      • Rose West was a busy prostitute, working from home.
        Fucking punters whilst her teenage kids did their homework in the next bedroom.
        Evil fuckers👎

    • Some of the munters in Readers’ Wives had fannies that looked like a small rodent that had been run over by a van. Bright red swollen fanny lips with little pimples. Or the clap as it’s known. Cellulite and hairy arses, with skiddy knickers on the sofa that they found on the local tip.

      Nearly threw up looking at a copy of it.

      A brave wank indeed.

  8. I think pornography is sinful.
    It paves the road to hell.😁
    Ive not found hedge grumble in the woods in years!!
    Miss it.
    Not for me the glossy Playboy but finding a dog eared Razzle in the woods?
    Id howl like a fuckin wolf and abuse myself right there impervious to the frowns of golfers and stern looks of dog walkers.
    Nowadays the youth dont know about this pleasure,
    Why theyre all little bandits.
    The soft twats.

    • I knew you were a Razzle Man MNC 😁

      It seems to have better quality totty in these days.

      Back in the late 90s I remember the models being a bit rough around the edges.

    • I can’t remember where now, but a couple of years ago I stumble across a discussion similar to this (maybe was this site) and apparently there are people out there trying to keep the tradition of porn stashes in public places alive. There was links posted to different areas nationwide with ‘treasure maps’ to help people find the stash and there was rules about leaving something if you took something away so that there was always something to be found at every location. If I remember right, it was called geo something or something geo.

      • Bob@
        It was the nearest I got to hunting and bloodsports.
        Fiddler likes hunting with his hounds, but bet if the quarry was a tattered slightly muddy copy of readers wives chucked in brambles I was like a fuckin bloodhound!!
        😀😀

      • Geo-cacheing Bob.
        Not meant for porn loving wankers though.
        It is the preserve of Tesla Driving Woke cunts and the middle classes.
        Beneath me, obviously😉

      • @cuntfinder that’s what it was called. You just can’t remember the site it was being discussed on or the name of the site someone linked with all the UK location clues but there were left ads of them.

      • There are those micro libraries some do-gooders put up next to their letter box, take one, put one back.

        Surely they could include a small top shelf for dog eared grumble to come and go? Although I spose it takes some thrill out of the chase

    • Excellent. I came across a mass listing of mags on eBay about a year ago by chance when I went into check ‘the sellers other listed items’. Was a woman seller who clearly was offloading her old man’s collection. There were loads of them, this guy never missed an issue. I was actually quite shocked as I didn’t know this stuff could be sold on eBay. Bit naive of me suppose but I don’t browse eBay much, only make targeted purchases. Never sold a thing on it either despite having a shed full of stuff. Scammer stories put me off. I’d likely drive 400 miles to murder the cunt who scammed me out of a fiver

      • Oh really, so what were the other items then the lady or back issues of the radio times

      • Loads of other music & piano tuition books and loads of women’s shit like clothes, shoes bags, jewelry etc. They could well have been here but description was along the lines of the Volume / issue number and stated she knew little else about them other than that l. She had volumes of them individually listed.

    • Fucking hell, that woman on the front cover looks like her top half has become detached from the bottom half.
      Unless it’s The Paul Daniels edition.

    • Am I mistaken, or did blokes in the 70’s all have cocks like a Pygmy with retarded development?
      (Johnny Holmes excluded, obviously 👍)

  10. I’ve started watching the channel that shows origami porn.
    It’s paper view obviously….

  11. If it exists, there is porn made about it….a sad indictment of the modern world!

    Fuck off!

  12. Online porn is all too fast paced and just ridiculous quite frankly, not even arousing. Neither the steroid monkey who has taken several viagra pills nor the poor looking sodden ham wallet look like they’re even enjoying it.

    Exploitation? Just let amateurs record themselves then. At least it’s genuine and they enjoy it.

  13. I still get a thrill if i see an old Color Climax or New Cunts Magazine. Back in the day finding one of these mags was highly stimulating and there’s nothing more pleasing to the eye than a great big black hairy fanny in the style of Jimi Hendrix haircut.
    These days it looks what it is, boring and mechanical.

    • I recall copies of Whitehouse, which I think used to come with a single record, that you could play on a record deck and listen to some trollops wanking off or getting fucked by some dodgy geezers!

      Then there was good old softcore Mayfair under the editorship of Kenneth Bound back in the late 70s early 80s. He always censored the girly’s naughty bits with loads of little black dots for some odd reason.

      That said the mag also had a great cartoon strip called “Carrie” – a dumb blond bint always have accidents that meant losing all her clothes.

      Very tittilating, so to speak!

      • My dad had a couple of Mayfair in his stash, full of fucking fag & aftershave adverts

  14. I hear about young blokes taking Viagra to keep them going. Fuck me, when i was a teenager i needed i pill to stop me getting a hard on .

  15. What was the grumble mag that specialised in the fanny stack?

    Several young ladies laying on top of each other.

    I have noticed that hairy growlers are making a comeback lately.
    I hope that they don’t take it to the extreme.

      • The Razzle Pile Up!😂
        Fuckin ell, I can’t remember what I did 30 minutes ago but I can remember a stack of birds arses from 30 years ago

  16. Back in the 70s VHS porno movies, hired from our local video shop, were just plain weird. The men sported Magnum PI moustaches and had rugs attached to their chests. The music was psychedelic. The action usually involved repeated snatches – I think that was the term – of the ‘same old scene’, taken from slightly different angles. Grunting and gasping was monotonous. Anyone watching without prior knowledge of the facts of life would be none the wiser by the end as to what had been going on. Looking back, I realise that the fat bloke who ran the video shop was a cunt.

    • I grew up on Electric Blue videos in the 1980s

      All very softcorn and tame given that they had to be scrutinised by the BBFC and given a special “18R” certificate, meaning they could only be bought from licenced sex shops.

      • I remember seeing a small selection of Electric Blue videos in my local video store back in the day. Always seemed to have a lingerie clad pouting blonde on the cover with the obligatory ‘come to bed’ expression and provocative pose.

        Nobody would ever rent those due to the embarrassment of taking it up to the counter. Always wanted to, never did.

      • Come to think of it (phnar, phnar), Techno, the 80s and Electric Blue may well have been what my addled memory was groping for! Back in the 70s porn was largely confined to print.

    • You could guage how big a cunt the video shop owner was by the size of the fine they gave you if you didn’t rewind the tape

    • “Looking back, I realise that the fat bloke who ran the video shop was a cunt.”

      The fat bloke who ran the video shop most likely also owned the hairy arse that you were watching pounding away like a diesel piston engine……….. sleep well tonight.

  17. ‘Legal Porno’ are a company that makes extreme gaping anus sex, they seem to be on every website now and specialise in how wide can you go and how many ten inch black willies can you accommodate in your back door stuff. Horrible how they clutter up my favourites list, I haven’t got room for anything else.

  18. The last time my missus shaved her minge Dynarod added sixty quid for a night time call out….

    • Should have left it on the lawn for nesting birds. They could have built a 3 storey nest.

  19. I grew up in the late 60s and 70s, the occasional mag I found by accident, or by design, were pd harmless. A lot of women in clothes (even if it was a case of ‘nude under a trench coat…), and often the short stories/readers’ letters were seriously horn-inducing. Fondest memory, of discovering a copy of Mayfair under parents’ bed, was finding a centrefold girl who I remain convinced was the stable girl from the time my mother decided I should have riding lessons. As there had already been a very enjoyable ‘incident’ with this stable girl (nb NOT actual sex – I was just short of 9, I reckon she was about 14, but had the easy way of someone familiar with horses/farm animals), the magazine was much treasured. Oddly, I never recall it being disposed of…
    I look at hamster and hub occasionally, but haven’t found much of interest, tbh.
    The best porn is really your own imagination.

    • My best is what’s left of my memories. I really did have some fun over the years, with the odd girl that was way above what I could have expected.

  20. I was gonna do a cunting about pregnant whores doing porn as they are utterly disgusting cunts.
    How much of a filthy slag do you have to be to get multi-fucked and suck off animals etc while actually having a near fully develpoed child in your disgusting womb?
    All women who have filmed porn while being pregnant are cunts!!
    So many stupid whores are worthy of a fist in the face!
    FUCK OFF totally to cunts who say “I could never hit a women 😢”
    You stupid bastards…..there are countless bitch cunts who deserve to be kicked to a fuck!!

  21. I have to agree the easy access to anything and everything gratuitous porn-wise, is not a good thing. I can’t see how it helps boys (or girls) healthy sexual development to be exposed to such material at a too young an age. What can you do? That genie is out of the bottle now. Must be challenging being a parent now when the offending material isn’t physical.

    Like many of you, it used to be a thrill to find some hedgerow jazz material in my early teens. I used to ride my bike everywhere and would actively look for it as I rode along. When old enough to buy it, my weapon of choice was Knave. Loved it!

    One time, I’d driven to a few towns over where nobody would know me. Staked out a newsagents and waited until I knew no one was in there and the coast was clear. Quickly swooped in and grabbed a copy of Parade (just to mix it up a little) and got to the counter only to find the person serving was a young girl, perhaps late teens, early 20s. Pretty too. She took my payment and handed me my change without a word, but looked at me as if to say, ‘you’re a decent looking bloke – why are you reduced to buying this filth?’. I felt horrible, guilty and a bit ashamed. It’s funny how certain things stay with you.

    • I used to buy mine at petrol station I never otherwise used. Usually on a Sunday after being at the tip dumping rubbish using my painter & decorator mates van. I always put in a tenner of fuel in prior to giving him it back. I used to stick on his overalls before going in as his name was on the side of the van so the woman who served me probably told the town what a dirty bastard he was as I bought all sorts of filth out of curiosity including the ones with the big fat sploshers.

      • …ha ha ha😂

        The prize for funniest post on this thread goes to the man who dwells Subterranean 👍

  22. Talking of pornography look at this, the utter cunt.
    Euro 2020: England players to take the knee at Euro 2020, says Gareth Southgate.
    I hope they are humiliated.

  23. I have IPTV on my telly with about 900 porn channels on. They come with the package, pun intended.
    I never watch them of course but I’m told the girls on the teen channels look like they have have 3 kids and a mortgage.
    My mate from Derby is an ex porn star. Annoys the fuck out of me when he reminisces.

    • I ditched Sky TV, broadband the lot way back in 2018 after 20 years of having the full package. Apparently there is a way to get all the sky packages for a reasonable annual subscription fee. Is this thing I hear people talking about the same thing as this IPTV you have? What’s easiest way of going about it? I currently only have Freeview shite though I have a brand new unused firestick thing some cunt gave me for Christmas a few years back. Any advice / links for education appreciated.

      • Ok BB. I personally don’t use a firestick but prefer an android box.
        Basically you purchase a code for 12 months.
        I use AliExpress about 40quid.
        But there is an easier method if you have a smart TV that takes apps.
        Apps like SIPTV and setiptv are two such.thats easier.
        First off let me know which tv you have. We can go from there if admin allows.

        Of course. Knock yourself out. A cunter helping another cunter out is all good with us. – NA

      • Unfortunately I have an old Toshiba 40″ telly with absolutely no internet. I don’t mind not using the firestick thing and would happily buy another box if it’s easier to set up & use. Thanks & thanks admin 👍

      • Forgot to say my TV has loads and f ports like hdmi & usb and has a big slot that says dvb interface. Just doesn’t have built in WiFi or smart features. I will probably upgrade at some point. Never upgraded to smart TV as all them I looked at had that fucking iPlayer built in which they told me can’t be deleted. I don’t want my TV hard rooted with software that dictates I need a loicence for channels I don’t watch.

      • Infidel, the latest IPTV packages for siptv are shit with regular looping, buffering and no sound on FHD channels. Shooter iptv is the worst. There are hardly any IPTV subs on ebay now and those that are selling them joined yesterday!

        So i’m told 😉

      • IPTV
        Trust me on this. With a modern TV siptv will work fine. Buffering is pretty much always internet connection.
        The best way to achieve IPTV with or without a modern TV is an android box costing about 30 quid. Plug it into the TV and establish a WiFi connection. Download an IPTV app ie. smarters or similar and type in your line which is an m3u
        M3u is a code bought from a provider.
        All this shit looks really complicated but it’s not.
        I’m reluctant to keep going on about it as all TVs/ apps/boxes etc are different.
        Maybe infidelgastro is there on twitter (never fucking used)

  24. You should all be ashamed.
    You bunch of dirty bastards.
    Get to church.

  25. When I was14 in 1981 my friend and I discovered an Indian newsagent that would happily sell us Whitehouse and Lovebirds. But getting up the courage was excruciating- staking out the shop for hours on end until it was empty and then making a dash for it. Oh the joy – we felt like we’d accomplished something, like the Dam Busters or the SAS. Now you just click a button.

  26. Met Yvonne Fisk the husband of the owner of Mayfair mag many years ago when I were a young lad. Got quite excited at the prospect until you saw her,short fat and haircut like a diesel dyke, very disappointing. Happy days

  27. Porno is just for wankers.

    I’m glad I come from the earlier era, where it was actually erotic. A sly glimpse of vag, tasty boobs, and Bush you could actually get lost in. Now it’s pretty vile, tattooed dead eyed sluts high on fuck knows what getting pummelled by some greaseball who needs drugs to get an erection, or surrounded by a load of freaks wanking while they take turns to shit in her mouth.
    I was going to say if you’re wanking to that you need help, but shooting is a far better option.

      • My entire porn collection consists of a couple of Mayfair mags from the early very 90s (remember Rachel Garley, oh my) and a couple of copies of Club International dated back to 1976, my era of finding them as a ten year old that I rescued from destruction at a garage clearance about a decade ago. Ore innocent times. Keep your smackhead viagra porn, I have absolutely no need of it.

  28. Porn is certainly crap these days, everywhere you look it’s ugly shaved cracks, tattoos, piercings and feet. They certainly know how to put a bloke off. Best of the bunch is Natasha Udovenko, if she wore socks and grew some pubic hair, that’s what you’d call wanking material.

    • Nothing worse than a woman covered in tattoos.

    • I dig chicks with certain tattoos and piercings…… and shaved parts…… don’t care about feet if I’m honest……. never understood that particular fetish.

  29. Freemans catalogue – foundation garments section for me as a very young cunter, then progressed through Harrison Marks “artist models” booklets to Health and Efficiency and various other jazz mags sourced in bushes etc.
    Kids today, got everything laid on for them, no effort at all

    • Gotta love a woman in some nice CE open bottom shapewear. Mature / older women always have better underwear collections than the crap served up in the likes of Anne summers and other high street stores. My ex gf had a great collection on her washing line at all times and one of my neighbour usually has a great display of hers out on windy days you cannot miss. She scares every cunt away with her Adele CDs on full blast though.

      • That CE is some shit that my predictive text put in. It shouldn’t be there. Cheap Chinese fucking phone is fucking up all my posts and don’t know how to edit them or delete & repost. People must be reading them and thinking I’m some pikey who dodged school

      • CDs are the discs / music format that the neighbourhood floozy uses to blare her Adele collection out of opened windows most warm sunny days

      • Thanks Basement Bob. I’m still none-the-wiser as to what CE means in the context of CE open bottom shapewear.

        I assumed it’s a kind of lingerie/swimwear or something?

      • @two in the stink The letters CE shouldn’t be there. You be been typing the word nice and predicted text completed the word and I’ve continued typing CE, the last two letters of the word nice which have appeared after nice if that makes sense?

      • @Basement Bob

        Not so much! That makes no sense at all (unless the NI means Nortern Ireland) …… in which case that’s a bit fucked up.

  30. Porn was virtually non-existent when I was young.

    I think Mayfair, and Penthouse appeared in the late 1960’s? They were certainly a revelation at the time.

    I can still remember a photoset featuring “Nurse Dibble” requiring “urgent attention”. She was draped over the bonnet of her Morris Minor, with her flange resembling an out of control privet hedge on display. Hardly arousing.

    Before the 1960’s there was a magazine called Heath and Efficiency. It was based loosely on the theme of naturism. It had full frontal photographs of naturist families in it, – the children included.

    The magazine’s intentions were clearly dishonourable, – and the naturism theme served only to waive the publishing regulations at the time.

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