“Man” Buns (2)

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A cunting for fuck monkeys with topnots, man buns you know what I mean,

I was on road test earlier, its a mile and a half, I saw 7 yes fucking 7 cockwombles sporting man buns, the finale was some stupid ginger prick with a man bun, shaved sides sunburned in a matching red convertible BMW, it made the old Miami vice or pikey mullet look good.

Then of course there is the Jesus type with a top not, usually skin and bone, so vegan, or the minging dirty fucker that looks like sheep dip wouldn’t be strong enough to get this cunt clean and smelling acceptable.

Don’t these cunts have mirrors, are they vaguely aware how fucking stupid they look, doesn’t anyone tell them, I don’t believe they don’t know, they take enough selfies I’m sure.

Cunts with manbuns, bring back serious bullying for these prats, they deserve it with Christmas’s lights on…..

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

54 thoughts on ““Man” Buns (2)”

  2. It’s for feminine men who are to lazy to wash their hair. Those man buns are full of lice. Combine it with a shaggy beard with bits of Big Mac stuck in it and you have a double cunt.

  3. That Gareth Bale has one I noticed.

    Good player but woke knee taking cunt.

    Gays and wokes have these things. I don’t mind man buns. It makes it easier to quickly spot and then avoid a large number of cunts.

      • Gareth Bale has an IQ of about 12. Lived all that time in Madrid and never learned the language? Lazy arsed and thick as pigshit. Also, the ludicrous hair and that ‘heart’ gesture? A friend of Dorothy, without a doubt…

    • Bunboy Gareth Bale is one of the world´s laziest and most shameless footballers. He has become a millionaire by being paid for not playing rather than for his performance on the pitch. He spent eight years with Real Madrid, transferred for a record fee of about 100 million euros, and did well – scoring 105 goals. However, he was always being “injured” and spent more time off the pitch than on it. He never hit it off with his colleagues or fans and even had the nerve (or stupidity) to pose for a picture with a poster stating that his priorities were “Wales, golf and Real Madrid.” Unsurprisingly, Real Madrid could not wait to get rid of him. He was supposed to go to China for another outrageous salary but cried off at the last moment and stayed on in Madrid quite blatantly saying he was doing it for the money even though he was doing fuck all for the team. The Spaniards finally got rid off on a “loan” to his old team Spurs where, once again, he has spent more time on the substitutes bench than on the field. If I was a Welshmen I would be ashamed to have someone like this representing my country.

  4. I suspect that the manbun-wearers who aren’t Gays are the victims of spousal abuse . The reason that they have a magnificent mane of ( usually “dirty blond) hair which needs controlling is because they lack testosterone ( as, I believe, I’ve mentioned before). The lack of the “manly hormone” means that they are susceptible to bullying from their frumpy partners who envy their veritable lion’s-mane of hair and feel the need to belittle them by making them wear a “Man-Bun”…..We shouldn’t be ” Cunting” them,we should be pitying them.

    • I’ve noticed that man-buns are particularly popular amongst the pushbiking community.

      • I think you are on to something with the lack of testosterone Mr F. In fact based on the erudite comments above you are a member of SAGE and Chris Whitty is you brother. I claim my £5 and inheritance to those Northumbrian estate lands of yours.

        Not sure about the cyclists theory however. It’s all a plan by Doris and his Husband ‘Nut Nuts’ to get us all in Lycra and become bicyclists to ‘save the planet’

      • I am Chris Whitty,not just his brother….and I am a tortoise-headed Wanker.

      • Of course I live in a caravan,Harold….it’s the vastest caravan in the U.K.

      • Dont be ashamed of living in a caravan Dick!
        Lots of people do.
        Tealeaf readers, tarot carders,
        Circus types etc
        I think the appeal of being able to do the washing up while still in bed is a draw?

      • It’s the sense of freedom it gives you that I like,MNC….when things get too hot to handle in any one particular area,the Hounds and I just empty our shite-bucket on someone’s doorstep, hitch up our Bedford Rascal and it’s….

        https://youtu.be/egMWlD3fLJ8

  5. I could picture Jess Phillips “husband”, who is probably as gay as a Priest’s picnic basket, having a manbun, and it can’t be long before Dame Keir adopts one as well.

  7. Its the new mullet isnt it?
    More than man buns I dislike that haircut young lads have,
    Like a short back an sides but the tops curly?
    Like a little sheepskin rug ?
    Footballers are the root of most daft haircuts,
    As a youth I had a sensible Mohican,
    Now i just give my scalp a quick polish with mr Sheen.

      • no idea why i put an apostrophe in man ‘bun’s’ fgs – early on set dementia

      • Morning Cuntologist,
        Thats a terrible haircut!
        And he looks a bit upset, rightfully on the verge of tears!
        Young lads have been having daft haircuts for years
        Something they grow out of or male pattern baldness puts a stop to their high jinks.
        Girls tend to experiment with hairstyles a bit more carefully.

      • Reckless use of the apostrophe is now deemed a hate crime.

        Prepare to be cancelled!

  8. David Beckham was one of the first footie players to grace us with a man bun way back in the early 00s

    Not as pronounced or p0ncy as today’s offerings (see Gareth Bale), but Becks looked a right twat wearing one, which looked more like a half-hearted pony tail looking for a home

    Man Buns Matter

    • He was a cunt then and is now.

      What’s worse is his nonentity of a son ‘following’ in his footsteps. ‘Brooklyn’ I think.

      The cunt was at the England/Scotland game yesterday.

      Strange looking twat. Seems to have inherited dog spices strange wide mouthed grin.

    • Beckham was the prototype metrosexual cunt, a grooming products poster boy douchebag. How the fuck anyone could consider him manly after wearing a sarong is beyond me. Now he’s covered in tattoos, looking like a gay barber, or just a common glue bag.
      One of the reasons I’m eternally grateful for being child free is that I don’t have to suffer having one that is football mad. I couldn’t bear that, and would do everything in my power to poison the child’s mind against the sport.

  9. Samurai warriors used to have them and they were hard bastards.

    Nowadays a ‘top knot’ is usually seen on a vegan wearing denim shorts and riding an electric scooter.

    • Imagine a remake of Akira Kurosawa’s masterpiece “The Seven Samurai” starring a right old assorted mix of woke gender-neutral cunts with their dainty little top-knots and fearsome hipster beards.

      And when confronting their enemies, rather than brandish a lethal katana sword they hold up cups of Costa Caramel Cortado with a sprinkling of almonds!

      Fearsome stuff.

      • I think Disney is doing a Pixar version of what Technocunt just described.

  11. Something else I’ve just realised: “buns” is US slang for a bloke’s arse!

  12. Dont see a lot of these round Lincolnshire and Scunny. We havent got a Waitrose which helps I suppose. Also the lack of an artisanal sour dough hand crafted bread artist outlet.
    When you see these cunts it’s a sure sign you should move somewhere less trendy.

    • I make my own sour dough bread.

      I find it matches my mood and humour very well these fucked up days.

      The nation needs more sour dough Cunters.

  13. Bale’s got a comb-over?
    Ha ha ha ha ha!

    Still a better player than anything wearing “three lions”, though😢

  14. It is indeed a sign of a cunt. Makes it easier to spot them I suppose.

    • A forerunner of the manbun was the male ponytail.
      Francis Rossi from Status Quo is possibly to blame but hes never stood trial for it as far as I know?
      It was trendy in the 90s but became a thing for odd old men,
      The sort of Yew tree type that youd see in the paper under the headline
      “Why wasn’t he caught sooner?”

  15. On the subject of hair I have noticed that hairy growlers are making a return.
    Not just the nicely trimmed Brazilian landing strips but full on bushes.
    Of course some women are taking it to the extreme with fannies that look like a stamped bat along with unshaven armpits.
    Dreadful.

    • Im happy about this.
      Ive waited for the return of the exiled hirsute growler for decades!
      As a youth sat in bushes, crippled with lust, pants down,
      A hairy growler was the pinnacle of desire
      Funnily enough if I have a photo taken i look just like one!
      Especially if I’ve got my lips pursed.

    • About bloody time! I never understood the appeal of a shaven little mott that must surely resemble something pre-pubescent. Suspicious of those that prefer it.

      Mind you, when I was a kid my brother’s mate stumbled across his father’s bongo mags and they were full of 1970’s Swedish bush so perhaps I was just corrupted early.

      • I agree, there’s something a bit Epstein about a fully shaved gadge, I prefer the more adult looking well maintained ladygarden, the hairy arrow pointing to the deep end.

  16. I quite like man buns. Means you can identify people you don’t want to talk to from a distance.

  17. If the fuckers want buns, I’d be quite happy to nail a croissant on their skull.

  18. A lot of Polish and Russian blokes have man buns. The Krauts still like mullets

  19. They seem to always be paired with a beard, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a clean faced bellend sporting one. It’s another of those fashion choices, like tattoos, that people think makes them look individual or alternative, yet look like every other tit who makes the same decision.
    I never thought I’d look alternative, but normal hair, still growing strong on my mid fifties head, mostly clean shaved, at least when I go out, trousers that still have an arse in them, and no fucking tattoos, make me stand out in today’s crowd.

    • I had shoulder-length hair in my younger days but it never even occurred to me to wear it as a bun. No point in looking an even bigger cunt.

  21. Where are those scissors when you need them.

    In my maturing years I often pass comment about people to my wife as I pass them. Especially loud Dooshkas (shut the fuck up) or people that look like twats. She is convinced they can hear (probably about right) and that one day I will get my head kicked in.

    Couldn’t give a flying fuck.

  22. My ex wife had long hair all down her back.
    None on her head, just all down her back.

  23. Have any of these freaks actually looked at themselves in a mirror and said ,
    “Fuck me I DO look like a right cunt!“ ?
    I would love to set their pretentious woke topiary on fire.

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