(One for the seat-sniffers out there to welcome the first day of May! – DA)
A cunting for cyclists again because they are cunts, these fuckers are cunts, they block the road, slow you down, then film you trying to get past and the cunts report you to the law and give them the evidence.
These pricks slow you down to the point were you have to get a riggle on to get around the fat fuckers on the virge of a heart attack riding tree abreast up any given hill in Wales, chatting like old women.
These cunts have been given to much slack now, so they have gone from cunts to ubacunts.
Wankers pulling caravans up mountains in Mondeos are bad enough but cunt cyclists are much worse.
Holding up traffic while you chat should be an instant slappable offence in my book,
wheelieing past them at speed isnt wise, but is understandable, however this rider then lied to plod and is now in prison, but when he gets out i strongly suspect there will be a few lycra clad dead bodies and trashed bikes found chucked off mountains in Wales next year and i for one wont be shedding a tear for these cunts, fuck em.
The militant pricks have branded all cyclists as cunts, even the ones who arnt cunts, which is unfortunate for them, but such is life….
Nominated by: Fuglyucker
Lucky saddle,
13
The male ones are weirdo cunts with those stupid helmets that make them look like Alien and the repulsive Lycra shorts that make them look like Gollum. And they are incredibly aggressive- particularly in London. Cunts.
The female ones on the other hand – nothing nicer than being stick behind a nice pear shaped ass working those pedals.
The male ones can fuck off.
16
Depends who the females are: Imagine being stuck in an open top car on a hot summers day behind AnalEase and Lady Nugee in their lycra, peddling away with the piss stains in front and shit stains behind and all the bluebottles congregating round them. That said, I am sure that vision will make Starmer want to grab two pairs of AnalEase’s bloomers, sniffing one pair while wrapping the other pair round his knob to jerk off into.
7
Could be worse. You could get stuck behind Flabott on her Penny Farthing.
11
These tax dodging woke are like maggots with no concern for anybody but themselves. BTW their CO2 output is 40,000ppm+ so they do the opposite of what they preach, sealing out oxygen and producing lots of CO2, hypocritical cunts.
8
Get used to it, the tree huggers want all us trash to be on them sooner rather than later and Suckdick is leading the way. During lockdown cycle lanes have sprung up all over Londonstabistan and his latest cunning plan is the LTN (low traffic neighbourhoods) This is where you block off side roads to snarl up the traffic on the main roads which gives you an excuse to extend the charge zones, jack up the prices and get the peasants cars off the roads. I’ve also heard rumours of widening the pavements to cater for social distancing. Now the only way you can widen the pavements is to narrow the roads, which leads to……yes, you’re getting the picture! Every city in this country will look like 1960’s Pekin with millions of fucking cyclists everywhere. Meanwhile Suckdick and his rich pals will be swanning around the empty roads in their expensive electric cars like they own the place and you better stick to the cycle lanes you poverty stricken cunts! It’s coming and you heard it here first.
17
Holy moly that’s a nice view.
3
The two abreast and middle of the lane cunts should be hanged in front of their crying children.
11
I find that one can easily relieve the frustration caused by these Lycra clad cockwombles by winding down your car window as you pass them and shouting ‘cunt’ or ‘wanker’ as loudly as you can. I would advise you only to do this if they are heading in the opposite direction – then they don’t get you on camera. Enjoy!
9
‘Tuck your fat arse in’ is my favourite. I reckon a concerted effort could cause enough of a crisis confidence to get a lot of them to stick their two wheeled nauses in the shed for good
4
Theyre like wasps.
Come out in summer, irritating, aggressive, all over the fuckin place, and make a mess of your windscreen if your doing 70mph.
13
Top Tip for Cyclists…..Save money on expensive pushbikes,lycra outfits and bell-end helmets by having Levi Bellfield tattoo the word ” CUNT” on your forehead using a six-inch nail and his trusty lump-hammer.
13
I do my best to give them room as I pass. I am rarely successful.
7
Epping Forest is full every weekend with aggressive cunts riding off-road racing bicycles. The aim seems to be to go as fast possible whilst trying to run your dog over or spook horses. Horrible, nasty cunts. I’d break them all on a giant bicycle wheel.
11
Epping Forest. A superb unofficial graveyard. Allegedly.
Thetford Forest?? Well, I used to live in E. Anglia, in happier times. It wasn’t talk of flying saucers that kept me away from Thetford at night, I can tell you…
2
And riding on pavements piss me off.Public flogging for them
8
Me too. 95% of the cyclists I’ve seen in the last six months have been riding on the pavement. Yesterday I had to get out of the way of a man and his two kids, all three bikes were heading right towards me. Have they made it illegal to ride the fucking things on the road?
8
Slapped one off his bike once. An old fella was on the zebra crossing and moving a bit slow for the lycra wearing queers liking so he shouted a load of abuse at him. When i told him he was out of order and should have a bit of respect he replied with ‘oh, i suppose he ‘fought for us in the war didn’t he’ and boom. These days the fanny packers have those stupid cameras on and act victims to anything and everything, cant just abuse them anymore.
13
Been reliable informed that cameras worn by cyclists are a snug fit in the arsehole of said cyclists. Not had to try as yet, with summer on the way they are like a fucking plague so you never know. That would be one for the evidence. Happy Mayday one and all.
3
Good to know. Theres one in the west midlands whos posted about 9 videos of himself being assaulted by motorists and still hasnt clocked its because hes a cunt yet
4
I saw one with a womans arse.
Bloke like, but a strangely female arse clad in lycra.
And I heard a voice in my nut
“MISERABLE. I AM GOD.
THIS STRANGELY AROUSING ARSED CYCLIST IS THE WORK OF SATAN TO TEMPT GOOD BOYS LIKE YOU TO ACTS OF DUCKY.
DO YOUR DUTY MY SON.
KILL HIM.
Well! What a moral dilemma!
The Almighty has given me a task but what about CCTV?
Is killing a cyclist by van a prison sentence?
Those 3 prostitutes I got off with
but this time might get caught!
I said
“Big fella, what about the cameras?
Ill go to prison, and its chicken pie for tea!”
“ALL ABOUT YOU BELLY AREN’T YOU? YOU LITTLE PUFF!!
Anyway luckily the sexy arsed pushbiker turned off sharply but Gods fuming with me.
Watch out for female bottomed bike riders and vengeful dieties.
7
I see you’ve hit the gin early.
12
Your OK just part of a government propaganda program to inculcate us with the joys of lgbtbtbbca ways and weirdness. Two paracetamol a hot bath six bottles of Batemans Weasel skinner you’ll be fine.
2
You have a woman’s bottom my lord.
6
I’ll gladly offer those maidens my helmet.
Why can’t all cyclists look like that. All I see are anorexic lycra spasmoids enacting a wiggo fantasy racing to nowhere.
6
Thousands of these cunts out and about during lockdown 1.
It’s the “Modern Parents”, towing two seater trailers with their young children, breathing in lorry fumes in rush hour, who are the worst offenders.
Or do I used to believe…
Recently, I observed a strange new attachment to a cycle: a seat fixed over a single wheel, in front of the bicycle 😳
Now the cunts are using little Tarquinius or Jacinda as fucking battering rams.
It won’t end well….
🤔
13
As I don’t drive, I cycle now and again, so I suppose I am classed a cunt, but what get’s my goat is the lycra clad cunts who don’t use the millions £+ bike lane which takes up half the road near where I live, and if they do use it they zip past and glare at you because you are not going like the clappers.
I wear tweed and moleskin for my cycling attire. 😁
10
Wobbly riding in the middle of the road, three abreast, spandex wearing, leg shaving cunts.
A fucking nuisance. They should have a camera on their fucking handlebars, to show how they never indicate.
7
These cunts should have to pay insurance, every other fucker else on the road has to pay it
I don’t mind the odd cyclist but it’s the fucking clubs that piss me off riding in a peloton, wankers!
Cunts!
7
It’s not just the roads. The so called country walks are infested with younger (than me) male cunts. Some politely flick their little bells to indicate I’m coming. Not the way I announce I’m coming, but it’s a thought.
Then there are the arrogant twats who fly past on their £1000 bikes with big fuck off tyres. Cunts.
7
I cycle a lot – it is a good idea to not hold people up or ride like a jerk in large groups – it tends to avoid being punched or dead.
Nobody should be on a bike on the road until they have completed a cycling proficiency course.
Lycra?
Sex fiends, and probable Civil fkin Servants!
Tracky bottoms in cold weather, shorts in warm weather, loaf of Hovis in front basket (well it is Yorkshire!)
5
Vernon, in Yorkshire, one is more likely to see a chap with a “swarthy” complexion, with a book about a kiddy-diddling sky fairy, a bottle of bleach and other assorted chlorine;orine based products, NO bacon.
Riding up and down the road near a primary school…
🤔
7
CG@ – Luckily the pyjama gang don’t cycle – I suppose bikes don’t have a boot to stuff 12 year old white girls in!
Never seen one on a bike.
4
I once saw a whole gang I of them out for a bike ride in the Hertfordshire countryside. It was one of the stranger sights I’ve seen.
0
Nice pic, but this is not what you see in Wales, most of the cycling women have huge legs, small chests and red angry faces, about as sexy as a tin of live bait.
The blokes all look like they are on slowed down version of stage 3 of the tour de France, with motorcyclists the flies are stuck to the fronts, cyclists the flies are stuck to their backs, because they are that slow, especially the prick with cameras hoping and praying someone will get close enough for them to cry about it to the law…… Cunts
7
The trick is to let them crash into you.
If say I cut in front of one and it upsets him?
Well, I can brake sharply followed by the muffled thud as he hits my tail lift.
Nothing says road courtesy like a broken nose and dental work.
5
Cyclists and joggers are cunts. Sick of those fucking joggers running past me on the pavement panting and sweating. I’ve always thought that cyclists are jobsworth cunts as well.
5
Too many cycle lanes and not enough lorries turning left.
6
Fucking right MNC, I suppose a checker plate pattern across half the face like a waffle just adds to you glee
3
Pretty sure I cunted these arsholes before. They swamp country lanes at the weekend with their gay prowess. They possibly like watching the lycra clad bum of the man in front, or sniffing it. For balance I knew one of these sniffers, and frankly his wife was so ugly, I would have turned gay too. But he was ugly with no social skills too which is why he had to meet up with lycra clad men at the weekend. Unfortunately they ungly fucks bred so look forward to tons of ugly cunts on country lanes
4
Cyclists!
When I was a kid I would cycle from Boxhill to Dorking everyday for work because I did not have a car, once I had saved enough I bought a car.
Now I had a 3 speed Raleigh Grifter, heavy as fuck and a nasty habit of slipping gear as you go up hill and smashing your bollocks on the cross bar.
So after the olympics Boxhill is fucked,
Cunts come from all over the country in their cars, park up and cycle up and down it , any side of the road they want, sudden stops, U turns you name it!
Thats why I have a fucking dash cam, so on the day I do score one it will just be evidence that they deserved it and they will have to finance new underseal for my car.
It’s total bollocks, they can add up to an hour to my daily commute as Tarquin cycles from Guildford to cranleigh, Tarquin has a carbon neutral form of transport but is totaly oblivious to the mile long tail back behind him thats chucking out twice the normal amount coupled with the required insane overtake and acceleration in the hope of making up the lost time.
Now this is my experience (in Tarquins defence he seems to have a state of the art road bike with fuck knows how many gears and all the tour de France kit) However I pity the poor cunts coming from the other direction, because there is some bell end who cycles from Cranleigh to Shalford railway station on a folding bicycle every day, He is also followed by a considerable Que of pissed off motorists who probably feel the same as me.
Now slightly off topic, there was a dead cyclist found in the hedge on horseshoe lane, the police did not suspect foul play, so I am wondering is it “OK” if you knock them off down narrow winding lanes and plod turns a blind eye to your community service?
1