A Z-list “don’t you know who I am?” cunting please for this decrepit “sex symbol” of the 1990s who got where she did by showing her tits off in tabloid newspapers and low rent TV shows, and opening her legs for the “right” people. Like that other plastic media whore, Stacey Solomon, she has long since ceased to pretend she has talent, and relies on stupid stunts to keep her name and face in the press -usually when they have something to sell.
This time the bargain basement scrubber claims she was “spat” at by a minicab driver:
Isn’t it funny that, just like Slaggy Solomon (the one they call La Gob) Klass has a brand new range of clothing she wishes you to know about?. Klass thinks she has class, but it is something she will never have, even, if unlike Solomon, she doesn’t sell “her” tat through Primark.
Both wimminz share remarkably similar lifestyles – each has several children by different fathers, and are permanently “engaged” to men who are meant to be the ideal daddy for the babies. In truth, the men are after a cheap fuck and the honour of being mentioned in despatches. There must be less demeaning ways to get a blow job.
Perhaps ITV should give them one final TV show where they could wrestle each other with chainsaws – a final chance to see their gaping arseholes and plastic tits, and worn out gashes. “The Queen of the Clunge” – introduced, of course, by Phillip Schofield.
They could even have a special viewers prize – a night out with the winner, followed by a day at the clap clinic.
Nominated by: W. C. Boggs
Mylene is well past her fuck by date and is starting to look a bit scrawny and plastic. She’s probably a walking laboratory of gonorrhoea and venerial disease. When will these scraggly old scrotes realise that everyone thinks they are slaggs? All she’s famous for is slutty behaviour. No one can remember what she did originally. Pathetic.
18
Absolute pile of bollocks. If it was an Uber, as claimed, then the cunt is easily traceable, that is the whole point. This article is just an advert for her cunting clothing business and her wanky radio programme. Myleene Klass on Smooth Radio, fuck me I bet that’s a great listen. Can I get it on podcast? As for the names of her brats…..poor bastards.
17
I will never forget her car crash ‘Celebrity’ Mastermind contestant disaster! Specialist subject? Friends, the shit yank series!
Did quite well on that, which is really only a testament to what a bubblegum brain she is! My then girlfriend remarked, “Oooo she is not bad at all”. I replied “Wait until the general knowledge round” sniggering! Holy fuck, as predicted I think she only managed to get one right. She had a face like a slapped arse all the way through it, clumsily blurting out ‘Pass’ every 10 seconds whilst glaring at the question master! Thick as pig shit!
I have tried to find this gem everywhere but alas no sign of it on YouTube etc. If any of you knowledgeable Cunters dig it out please post the link.
Hilarious!
As for the nomination she is a no talent fucking waste of oxygen that is the personification of straight to Hello magazine like the rest of the wasters the hard of thinking love to read about!
Fuck off!
20
I remember this well, especially her abysmal peformance in the general knowledge round, particularly woeful as the celebrity questions are piss easy.
But it’s worse than that. Her specialist subject wasn’t Friends.
It was Sex and the City.
Series Three.
2
Well remembered, Guardian Hater.
Holy fuck, her specialist subject, Sex in the City, four knackered old bags, including SJP, possibly one of the ugliest women on the planet and widely media hyped as a sex symbol! She did pretty well in that round but oh my god her general knowledge, especially as you say the celebrity version is watered-down and yet she still managed to get the best part of fuck all! Her face was a picture!
Glad to see I wasn’t the only one that remembered it, well sort of.
1
I think mangy Myleene is telling lies – presumably a clothing, makeup, perfume line or a bag of wank new album is being dragged out.
I wonder if Myleene and Jussie Smollett nicked Lady Gagas dogs?
15
Awaiting moderation? Devilled if I know what word has triggered that?
🙁
(“Sniggering” contained the N word, which of course WordFence, really doesn’t like. I’ve released your comment though. But expect a knock on your door in the middle of the night! – DA)
7
Thanks for the heads up, DA, I shall avoid using that word unabbreviated in future 😉
(That’s okay, but if the hate police do knock on your door tonight, just offer them a KFC with extra chiggin’ & ting and you’ll be fine – DA)
11
At one time I definitely would’ve liked to have put my penis inside her vagina and had an orgasm, but now?
Not sure, haven’t seen what she looks Ike lately. She was fit as fuck though, once upon a time.
Who cares what the cunt has to say?Her job is (probably ‘was’ now by the sounds of things) to show blokes her tits and growler as wank material. Nothing more.
14
I used to have a soft spot for her that wouldn’t have stayed soft for long, but as numerous barometers on this site have said, well past her use by.
11
That’s a very biological description for a shag, are you a doctor or librarian. Well stated overwise sir…she love you long time.
3
Another self righteous twat letting us all know how thoughtful she is protecting other people. Fuck off you dumpling no one’s listening.
11
Mutton dressed as lamb as me old dear would say.
12
Deprive her of oxygen.Slag.
8
Is she some sort of chinky?
Looks it.
Egg flied lice.
Get fucked.
15
As Myleene has a large dose of effnik inside her i’m surprised she didn’t jump on the raaaaay-sism bandwagon. On the other hand, a white mini cab driver in Londonstabistan? That’s stretching credulity a little too far.
15
If I was a kneegrow trying to get all up in dat, I would ask, “You’re gorgeous! Do you have any black in you? No? Would you like some?”
Din I’d tear that shit up yo!
5
Standard behaviour from beardy sandal wearers whom make up 99.9% of Ubers employees.
6
After I had a few pints I would still damage her anus with my penis. Then I would turn her over and damage her face with my fist.
She’s a putrid creature who should be harvested for her body parts (after everyone has had a turn on her)
7
The fucking lying publicity seeking cunt has a habit of making stories up, like the one where she was supposedly “attacked” by a gang of teenagers had had a bag of chips dumped on her empty skull. Fuck me, that must have hurt. Or this one from wiki: “In January 2010, Klass claimed she received a warning from Hertfordshire Police for brandishing a kitchen knife (through a window) at a group of teenagers who entered her garden while she and her daughter were alone in the house. She said that she was “utterly terrified” and “aghast” at the response by the police. Hertfordshire Police denied making any such warning and stated that the law allows householders the proportionate use of force to protect themselves. It has subsequently been reported that it was Klass’s agent or publicist who notified the police of the incident and who then passed on the story to The Sun’s reporter, Emma Cox.” Bullshit should be her middle name.
15
Ah, the phantom racist cab driver with no name who can’t be traced and isn’t on CCTV. The same one that was ‘abusive’ to Lily Mong?
Pull the other one, Klassless. It’s got fucking bells on.
14
I think shed stink
5
I remember my old ISAC mate, Birdman had a thing for Stacey Solomon. He was a character.
9
Dear old Birdman. Remember him well. Didn’t he live on Gibraltar or in Spain somewhere ? Wonder whatever happened to him ?
2
Klass is a bit like Sheridan Smith; eminently fuckable around 15 years ago, but long since turned to ratshit.
Must have a coochie like Chislehurst Caves after the use it has had over the years. Perhaps you could mature some Cheddar Cheese in there? Myleene’s Exclusive Cave Aged Cheddar.
Ol’ Myleene does love a bit of cock, eh?
9
Whad ya expect from a tart hailing from Gorlestone-on-sea, the less glamorous neighbour to Great Yarmouth?
7
All i remember of the silly rinkydink looking tart, was that shit band were they thought they would do the Sclub 7 thing, you pretty girls, egg and spoon and a couple of arse bandits, seemed to be the recipe for shite music that never fucking ends.
Except it did end for these cunts after they did one song with a video that looks like their setting fire to their own farts, then as the careers die its shit soap operas, ads for fuck knows what, followed by rough porn and a mention on ISAC, https://youtu.be/t8dZgf6uBOU ,sorry cunters for the ear fucking your about to receive, please forgive me….
9
I’d still happily smash it in every hole.
So many of these celebrities these days that they have to release every minor story to stay relevant. But compared to Solomon, Katona, Katie Price and a few others, Klass would certainly still classify as very bangable.
10
I hear Katie is getting married for the seventh time. I wish she had married the halfwit Prince. She’s only slightly more slaggy than Sparkletits and at least she wouldn’t drone on and on about wokery pokery all fucking day.
Harry could also give us lectures about Harvey’s mental elf. That would keep him busy.
Hello you cunt.
8
If it fails to perform on request then oven the bony cunt.
7
At least she tries. It`s hard working at the coal face. No pun intended.
5
What has happened to me very reasonable comment? Due to circumstances using me old crapphone on a hookey wireless connection.Anything to do with it or just admin.shite?
4
She plays a mean Fiddle-perhaps we can have a wip round and buy her for Dick Fiddler for the weekend-see if it is true that many a fine tune are still played on an old Fiddle(r).
😃
6
Being all for embracing foreign cultures and customs, I’d ask Mylene if she’s a dab hand with ping pong balls.
3
She is not worthy of comment, She is a has been never was. Why are we even discussing her?I don’t hate her I just even care what she is up too how many kids she has and whether she is still breathing
2
I’m a classical pianist, fuck me up the ass big boy, come on my tits. Real class!
2
I still would though.
2
You’re right, I know, Join the queue, bring some penicillin and a camera, good to go.
1