Maggie Smith

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Wouldn´t be great to watch a film or television series without seeing this prune-faced old bag and hearing her strangulated Lady Bracknell voice?
She turns up everywhere and looks more like a midden bin full of ashes and fish bones that´s been left out in the rain every time I see her.

Fuck off you old strumpet – to Downton Abbey, Hogswarts or that shitty old van you lived in when you played a bag lady.

And take your decrepit old pals Tom Courtney, Pauline Collins, Billy Connolly, Michael Gambon, Judi Dench, Vanessa Redgrave, Bill Nighy and Joan Plowright who are always appearing in your films with you.

Give me Barbara Windsor (RIP)any day!

Nominated by: Mr Polly

54 thoughts on “Maggie Smith”

  1. She was never any great beauty but fuck me, she hasn’t aged well, has she. I never see her anywhere simply because I never watch the type of shit she’s in. Easy, innit.

    • The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie was made in about 1968. I saw it then and she looked pretty rancid so perhaps she has aged that badly; it is more a case of her staring point being pretty desperate.

  2. Not sure about Dame Maggie, but the one I cannot stomach is that scraggy old cadaver, Glenda Jackson.

    Jackson is or was a Labour politician so worth a cunting in its own right.

    All Maggie Smith seems to do in acting roles nowadays is croak endlessly whilst always being sat on her bony arse and denting cushions. Agreed, she is a cunt.

    • Agree with you Paul, Glenda Jackson is thick as a brick but has all the answers i.e. a typical Labour politician.

    • I quite fancied Jackson when I was in my teens in the 70s. She was pretty good looking in “Women in Love” – a Ken Russell film, which to my tiny mind meant women lezzing up. But in actual fact the film was controversial for its time (1969) because it had nude wrestling going on between Oliver Reed and Alan Bates!

      I’m sure Jackson was a regular on Morecambe and Wise; nice tits but pretty rough teeth!

      Then she became a Labour/Socialist/Luvvie cunt and disappeared up her own hole!

      • Anything made by Ken Russell or Michael Winner is worth a whirl. The two best British film directors ever.

      • And you got an eyeful of her minge in The Music Lovers, if you like that sort of thing. Beats Omnibus every time.

    • Yes that cunt Jackson. Another lefty extolling the virtues of socialism while pocketing huge sums of cash. She’s been an ugly hound all her days,like Smith. If Connery were alive I’d include him too. Another lefty nationalist who left jockland asap to make….money.
      Cunts one and all .

  3. So you don’t like her but why exactly is she a cunt?

    Not much of a nom. I’d have binned it…

    • Called in some reinforcements Dio.

      Richard Burton condemned one of Britain’s greatest actresses, Dame Maggie Smith, as ‘dull’ and ‘plain’ – and complained that her performances had ‘turned him against sex’.

      • I liked RB. Really good actor. Now he should have lived longer and MS should have shuffled off sooner .

  4. Fucking actors.

    You wouldn’t ask your doctor to install your solar panels. You wouldn’t ask your mechanic to write your will. You wouldn’t ask your plumber to educate your children. So why does anyone care what actors think about politics?

    At least doctors, mechanics and plumbers have useful skills.

    Actors. I shit them.

  5. You put your left wing in
    Your right wing out
    In out, in out, you shake it all about
    You do the wokie pokie and you turn around
    That’s what it’s all about

    Oh, oh the wokie pokie
    Oh ooh the wokie pokie
    Oh, oh the wokie pokie
    Knees bend, arse stretch
    Ra, ra, ra

    Good old fashioned cockney tradition. What’s wrong with you cunts?

    • See you’ve had access to the new London Song book. The rewritten Lambeth walk is very good. Unfortunately all the other entries are in cuntish or umbongo type languages.

  6. Dae Maggie was a great pal of Kenneth Williams (I’m not sure if she is one of the women he proposed marriage to, as he did with both Hattie Jacques, Annette Kerr and Joan Sims, but both the late Sheridan Moreley and Russell Davies has often pointed out who they tended to copy, as well as compliment each other.

    On the other hand Kenneth Williams would never have shed a tear of this BBC tory this morning, I suspect it is a cause Dame Maggie would mount her Stannah stair lift and “Upwalker” for:

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/ef0b40de-fbfc-447c-ac91-266b2f0c6c81

    Why are we treated so bad, bruv, innit.

  7. All these old luvvies are just hanging on with some controversial mutterings in order to stay relevant and contemporary. In essence they really don’t believe in what they’re saying because they’ve already made themselves a comfortable lifestyle, a few mansions, shitloads of cash buried in a few offshore tax havens et al.

    So now they’re approaching the end of the road, they come out with shit about Brexit, Covid, BLM, climate change…. and all the other popular political pastimes, safe in the knowledge that it won’t affect them or their little bubble world of make-belief.

    This old bat, Patrick “Make it Shite” Stewart, and Emma Thompson, are three luvvie cunts that instantly come to mind that should have all been dead and buried years ago…. and yet STILL they hang on to life and spout shit!

  8. So what’s your problem with her? You don’t say why you think she’s a cunt? She seems pretty inoffensive to me and I’ve usually enjoyed her acting. Strange nom, this one.

    • Haha

      Charlton Heston and some bird pretending not to be drunk, Eleanor Parker if I recall correctly.

      Was watching 55 Days in Peking last night until I fell asleep.

      Charlton could actually act once upon a time bless him.

      Flora Robson as the dowager empress of Chy-na. “China is a prostrate cow”!! Well they ain’t fucking laughing now are they. Chinky cunts.

  10. I thought this was about Maggie Smith ( musician/singer ) If it was them Maggie Smith was a fucking good singer.

  11. Tom Courtenay’s still around? Fuck me, talk about the long distance of the lonely runner.

    Yeah Maggie’s a cunt. Always has been always will be. Other than being Miss Jean Brodie, with that bird’s arse in it. Even I would have licked that shitter, as they go.

  12. Vanessa Redgrave. Now there’s a cunt of monumental proportions. Another champagne commie bitch. These old luvvie are all the same, flashing their socialist working class hero badges but shunning the plebs at all cost. As for Connelly just fuck off you tedious old scarecrow. Waffling in about how bad Brexit is from his house in…..Florida.
    Cunt.

  13. I watched an old Auf Weidersein with Bill Nighy in it. I noticed 2 things:
    He looks like Joanna Lumley.
    You never see them together.

    Was Bill/Joanna ahead of Izzard’s game ?

  14. I had to suffer Downturn Abbey The Movie so she deserves a proper cunting for being in that….it was dogshit…D O G S H I T

  15. I must admit to not really understanding the Windsor wankfest on here considering she had five abortions for the sake of her career.

  16. The list of luvvies sounds like a Rambling Syd Rumpo song – Tale of the Somerset Nog, IIRC…

  18. I’m aging badly for sure. I look like the Dr Jekyll version of my younger self. Who the fuck is that looking back in the mirror? A wrinkled slap head who thinks he doesn’t need glasses yet and a back with more hair than a Yeti.
    Aging is a cunt.

  19. I’ve not heard Maggie Smith go off on a leftie rant; is she known for this? I’ve liked her in a lot of performances, even in Down Town Abbey (as pronounced by P. Diddy).

    In terms of aging, well Maggie is 86; can’t hold that against her. By contrast, Joan Collins and Jane Fonda look good for their age. Talking of aging, Bette Davis aged terribly.

    • Some age well (Raquel Welch) and some don’t (Brigitte Bardot). Elisabeth Sladen (RIP) and Jane Asher both looked superb for their ages a few years ago in a Doctor Who spin off. Bette Davis always looked like a frog anyway.

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