Cowboy Builders

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Not the chaps in black, or white, hats.

Those that put their selves on sites like My Builder.

My neighbour needs an overgrown tree removed. She’s recently widowed, so I offered to help, posted on a couple of the ” my job ” sites.

First one, did he ( appear ) coy. A grand.

Second one, £465. What? Did you miss a 1, no £465.

Guess who got the job. He even recycles all the shit, to allotments, wood burner owners, he might have a ginger beard, but I tip my hat.

Nominated by: Jessum Priest

 

and seconded by: Spanky Mc Spank

Seconded, I was cut up by a cunt in an old banger with “check a trade” stuck all over it.

The cunt followed me all the way to my next job so I was foaming mad by that point. When I got out and told him I’d check his fucking trade and post the dash cam footage of him driving like a numb nuts all over their crappy website he couldn’t apologise and fuck off quickly enough.

Check a trade, check my “builder” and all those dodgy services can go suck a dick, most people have horror stories of these cunts.

26 thoughts on “Cowboy Builders”

  1. I’ve had people ring me up asking me to go and put right tree-jobs that have been done “on the cheap”…I always refuse and tell them that they should have got a decent operator in the beginning to do the job . A lot of these cut-price merchants have insufficient insurance and neither the right equipment nor sufficient experience..or are “traveller” types going door-to-door.
    I only employ tradespeople who I know personally or come recommended by someone who I trust.

  2. Some of the biggest, stetson-wearing cunts are employed by the large housebuilders.

    In my career, I have seen cowboy groundwork, cowboy bricklaying, cowboy plastering, cowboy decorating, cowboy plumbing. The fucking list is endless.

    Buy a new home? Fuck off; I’d rather dangle my love spuds in the mouth of a hungry crocodile.

    • Yeeeeha!
      See em off at the pass boys!

      Cowboy builders are indeed cunts.
      Theyll take someones life savings without a shred of guilt,
      Theyll leave a family in a substandard and dangerous property,
      They dont care if your elderly, blind, disabled, whatever.
      They just want easy money.
      NEVER pay upfront and always check them out first.
      Feel sorry for anyone whos been scammed off one ,
      They’re the lowest of the low.
      Go for yer gun pardner!!

      • Fucking winter has returned up here…dusting of snow and a freezing wind.

        Morning,MNC
        Morning,All

      • Met Office have long maintained that it’s statistically more probable that we’ll get snow at Easter than a White Christmas. Easter isn’t even especially early this year and the Beast from the East a few years ago was quite late in March as I recall.

        Having said that, it has been a fucking cold Spring here, very little rain but decent sunshine.

        Happy Wank Holiday, fellow cunters.

  3. I think by appearing on the “Checkatrade” site the individual or company thinks this is such a fillip to his moral value that he feels he/they can inflate the price. I was recently almost caught out myself – I got one of these Checkatrade jonnies in to give me a quote for wallpapering a 12 x 10 room – can’t do it myself, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I was supplying paint and paper. The estimate came in at over £1000.

    The job remains undone.

    Like Trustpilot and all the rest, no really damning review will ever appear, so they are not much guarantee of good workmanship. Like ebay, every seller gets at least 99.5% rating – most get 100%

    • If you’re in North M/C Mr Boggs I’ll have a look for you. I’m bored off my tits at the moment.

      • Ah right W.C. the reason was Ive noticed a few who have mentioned North M/C and thought you may have been one. No worries, walking with the wife it is then.

  4. I am amazed that insurance companies use cowboys to sort out repairs. In July 2013 my cottage was damaged by a flash flood . The builders sent to repair the damage were hopeless; the plastered couldn’t get the plaster to accept paint despite three attempts, the painter useless and the joiner a crook in that he tried to convince me that he should reuse the damaged skirting boards.
    Eventually, I refused these jokers access to my property and the insurance company paid me to use my own builder.
    I cannot understand why insurance companies are prepared to allow cowboys to tarnish their reputations even further.

    • Because Insurance companies wouldn’t give a fuck. All they want is regular £ premiums coming in.

      If they can’t find a loop hole & have to pay out, they want to spend as little time & money as they can get away with. They are Cunts.

      I always use comparison sites and always choose the cheapest best value quote. Brand loyalty is for chumps. They just put your £ renewal up each year to milk you dry.

      My car insurance went from £340 one year to £590 the next (no claims made). When I phoned the Cunts, “we may be able to get it down to £550 – have you had any other quotes?” – “None of your business! – your offers crap – I won’t be renewing”
      I went on the M cat site : £275 for the same cover.

  5. Bring back “Indentures”! Bring back BS Kite mark ! Bring back common sense! But above all, bring in the right of summary execution for all fucking caravan cruising cunts who knock on the door!

  6. I went on the ‘my hammer’ website once to see what other electricians were charging and couldn’t believe the bids on jobs there. It was full of Eastern Europeans literally doing it for nothing…. £5 to change a light fitting, £5 to change a socket, new socket for £10, rewire for £350. How can any cunt afford to do it that cheap? By not being qualified or insured and cutting corners I guess.
    I’ve worked with a few guys that were on checkatrade, some were good but extremely expensive, some were gormless cunts that somehow had glowing reviews but couldn’t wire a fucking plug…. these sites are all bollocks.
    The building industry should be properly regulated (current regulatory bodies are just leeches) and all cowboy builders should have all their assets stripped and face lengthy prison sentences in hard labour camps.
    I don’t blame some people for hating tradesmen, there are some absolute immoral cunts out there that have no problem ripping people off. Unfortunately it’s hard to tell between them and us decent tradesmen so some people would rather not take the chance….

  7. Quite a few years ago I done some work for an old lady.
    An old sweetheart she was as well and a pleasure to do work for to be honest.
    She must have been in her early 80s, had a dodgy ticker, hadn’t long lost her husband and lived in her own modest mid link terrace house in town.
    She was busy telling me that 6 months earlier a couple of blokes from the Liverpool area pretending to be roofing contractors had been on the prowl by her house, noticed some apparently dodgy guttering and knocked on her door offering her their “services”
    Basically without lifting so much as a finger, these bastards coerced the old dear into accompanying them down to her local bank so she could withdraw substantial amounts of cash each day to pay for these “repairs” which were subsequently never carried out.
    They just fucked off with a couple of grand of her savings.
    How these cunts sleep at night is way beyond me.

    • Despicable types Herman.
      They prey on the vunerable, the trusting and the naive.
      And theres plenty of them around.
      I only use tradesmen I know,
      And im on a list of tradesmen for the council and a large charity for safe tradesmen for vunerable people.
      Don’t know if other councils do the same thing?
      Assume they do.
      Dont rip anyone off …but might expose myself to them.😀

  8. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9435773/Grooming-gang-leader-spotted-shopping-Rochdale-abused-children.html

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9435651/Exposed-Scammer-17-selling-fake-documents-80-help-arrivals-UK-dodge-Covid-tests.html

    A doubler for.BH Monday. Words fail me on both. One should have been heaved out the country and just look at the mug on the 2nd. Not like a jo dakky to flaunt wealth

    (This needs its only separate nomination as its not relevant to the current topic – DA)

  9. I know people that have been victims of cowboy tradesmen-the problem with some “guilds” (I am referring particularly to the guild of master craftsmen 👎), is that the only requirement for membership, is a cheque book.👎

    Pie-keys tend towards, driveways, roofing and tree work. The police are too shit scared to do anything about them.

    As mentioned above, polish and other eastern type builders are cunts.
    I looked at a house for sale years ago, it was originally two large Victorian semi-detached, that had been knocked into a vast detached with a huge garden (120 feet by 350).

    It looked fabulous, yet I spotted several things which had my spider senses tingling.
    I noticed an old fellow next door in his garden, so engaged him in conversation.
    Turned out that it was renovated by a team of poles, who lived in it and worked all hours.

    That house took years to sell-I imagine lots of poor fuckers shelled out in surveys, only to walk away.
    Things like rsj’s are fucking important.
    I know of a couple who bought a house renovated by Polish trades. The gas job in the kitchen stopped working and when an English trade investigated, it wasn’t come extend to mains gas, it was piped from a large gas bottle, buried in the back garden 😳.

    Caveat Emptor

  10. I saw a couple of pikeys in a transit van in a petrol station, proper ginger pikeys.
    Their tranny was sign written with their company on checkatrade, I instantly thought lying pikey cunts, but I Googled the company and checked out checkatrade wensite and sure enough the pikeys were on it, complete with a picture of the van.
    So checkatrade helps you invite pikey cunts into your house, good one checkatrade, it proves the websites, book my garage, find a builder and hundreds more are all bollocks….

  11. I contacted a tradesman via the small ads in the free by paper who said, “no job too small”.
    When I explained that the job involved banging a nail in the wall to hang up my calendar the cunt wasn’t interested.
    Lying bastard.

  12. I had a decorator quote me £1000 to decorate my front room last year. I’m not the brightest spark but I also don’t have the word ‘cunt’ tattooed on my forehead.

  13. I’m starting a new website called “Suck My Balls”

    It does have strict eligibility criteria though.

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