Louise Redknapp

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(Thunderbirds are Go Fuck Yourself – NA)

A maiden cunting for our Lou Lou. Why is she a cunt? The silly old whore thought she was 21 again, left her husband and kids to party hard with her buddy, Daisy Lowe, whilst thinking she was going to relaunch her career as every man on the planet wanted to insert his winkie in her.

Sorry Lou, but you were a babe back in the 90s, but you are a wrinkly old has-been now. The relaunched career didn’t quite work out, did it? Not a day goes past without her gurning fizzog in the papers. How Christmas is so hard for her. How her friends deserted her. How she can’t get a date.

Louise, please just fuck off you vain, irritating woman. And put some bloody clothes on; you are not 21.

Nominated by: Paul Maskinback

78 thoughts on “Louise Redknapp”

  2. Team America! Fuck Yeah!! Maybe she could sell her likeness to be used in the sequel to Team America World Police. Maybe she can hang out with fellow slag Katie Price and they can commiserate the cunts.

  3. Poor loose Louise – the least talented of the screeching, talentless flash in the pan “Britpop” girl group Eternal, married footballer Jamie Redknapp, allegedly fucked half of Cheshire then got understandably cast off for being past it and fucking useless – fame is fleeting unless you have some talent behind it daaahling!
    But all is not lost – I foresee a twenty year career on “Loose bowels Wimmin” so she can spend the rest of her irrelevant skank broke life whining how badly life has treated her, then on to degrading porn!
    Chin up Louise! (For the money shot! 😀)

  4. You wonder how these blokes get taken in by these fame hungry, money grabbing whores. Louise, Angie Best, Lizzie Cundy, Colleen Rooney, Beanpole Beckham, that bitch who snared dumbfuck Gazza and that Vardi slag. Of course we’ve also got the classics …… Yoko Fucko and our very own Sparkletits.
    They should be like Saint Gary……fuck ‘em and dump ‘em.

    • ‘fuck ‘em and dump ‘em.’
      That’s a good motto Freddie, let’s be honest after you fucked a new bit of pussy it’s rarely gets better and usually gets worse. Once conquered, move into the next.

  5. As tasty singers from the 90s go, I’d put her in the Championship with Sheryl Crow and Leanne Rimes but not the Premiership with Brittany Spears and that Natalie Imbruglia (totty but cunty). Still better that being in League One with the Spice Girls or League Two with münters like Sugarbabes, scary Marys TLC, and that one with the greasy hair, sandals, and stinky coochie who moaned about being ironic.

    • Languishing in the Isthmian League Division One South Central we have Courtney Love and Kerry Katona.

    • CM you are something of a rarity on this site in that you are versed in football and female totty/warblers.

      • Unibond Autoglass Sunday League: Shirley Manson (goldfish faced fuck), Linda Perry (from 4 Non Blondes), That ladyboy from Elastica (Justine Thingy), Cuntney Love (naturally), Meg Matthews (ex-Mrs Gallagher).

        Christina Augilera was Premiership leader for some time though. With Rachel Stevens (S Club 7), Liz Phair and Sarah Cracknell all fighting for a Top Four place. Gillian Anderson won the title though. She counts because she did make a weird dance record years ago. Certainly gave me the horn.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIx7amfJefw

      • That Patsy Kensit was worth a Thomas The Tank back in the distant.

        Even if she was a starfucker who was humping a bluenose yob cunt.

    • Interesting categorisations there Capt. A few observations:-

      No mention of Girls Aloud. Here goes:-
      Cheryl : Div 2 (pet)
      Ashley: Div 2. After gaining several back to back Promotions
      Nadine : Prem L but can only stay there if she keeps that gob shut (which is easy with my knob stuck in it)
      The Blonde One Who Keeps Banging On About Her Cancer : Championship. Fit but crayzee
      The Other One. Oh who cares?!

      Now then fellow-cunters. I invite comments on these beauties:-

      Debbie Harry (late 1970s only)
      Linda Ronstadt
      Sonja Kristina
      Grace Slick
      Stacia (.)(.) Blake. (Go on, Google her)
      Susanna Hoffs
      Belinda Carlisle (early solo era)

      Anyone I’ve overlooked?

      • Isaac, you’ve overlooked Stevie Nicks, early-1970s.

        Linda Ronstadt – Premer League but relegation contender.
        Susanna Hoffs – Premer League top six finish.
        Belinda Carlisle – plastic-faced dullard, Port Vale 5th-rounder.

        I would’ve smashed that Ginge minge from T-Pau. Whigfield was alright but a three-pinter.

      • Issac@

        Stacia had fantastic tits, a true talent in that department.
        Improved Hawkwinds stage presence no end!

        70s Debby Harry was truly beautiful.
        As was 70s kate Bush.
        And are my time traveling girlfriends.

      • My thanks to The Capt, Bert and Miserable.

        How the hell could I forget Stevie and Kate?!!

        I actually fancied Christine McVie and she still looks pretty good despite playing an even greater role than the IMF to keep the Columbian economy afloat.

        Stacia! Never saw her ‘in the flesh’ but Christ she was magnificent.

        Parting thought: the blonde tart in the Human League?

      • Debbie Harry and Sonja Kristina in the sack together would be European cup final and division 1 title wins on same day.
        None of this champions league and Premier league shit for me, both full of complete and utter cunts.

      • Wendy James, Transvision Vamp. Would I. As a Prince fan, Sheila E and Cat still give me the horn,

      • Linda Rondstadt was gorgeous in her Stone Poneys and early solo prime. Grace was bewitchingly sexy during the Airplane years. Every lad who wasn’t a poof loved Debbie back then. Susannah was/is very nice (and the two sisters in the Bangles were pretty tasty too) and Stacia and Sonja were welcome totty in a mainly prog world at the time. All rock goddesses and not a dud amongst them.

        The milfmongous Annie Haslam of Renaissance was a lovely singer. She also gave me an itch in the ditch.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIhObHkX-D0

  6. Jamie and Harry are also total cunts. Happy to promote and advertise any fucking crap so long as there is some money for them.

    The whole family can fuck right off.

    • Agreed Willie, Jamie was part of the whole Liverpool ‘Spice Boy’ shite and the ‘Golden Generation’ of the England side which included over indulged bellends of Terry, Ferdinand and Beckham amongst others. Arry’s guv’nor routine is just embarrassing.

      • That was funny. No fan of footy or either team but it was funny to see Eric the Red slam it back where it came from after James took out his own defence. I saw better keepers in my old Sunday league. Hahah.

  7. Was David Beckham’s sloppy seconds before he was snared by Skeletor Spice. Louise also did many other footballers from Man United and Liverpool before she settled on Jamie Dedkrapp. Well known in Granadaland that Louise was a superbike in the 90s. She rivaled Dani Behr and Melanie Sykes as the North West footballers No.1 Slag. Louise had more rides than a Blackpool Donkey.

    In recent years – with encouragement from fellow slag, Daisy Lowe – Louise’s inner media prossie raced back to the surface and she dropped Dedkrapp, thinking every cunt would find her as tasty as they did in the 90s. Thing was, she never had any musical talent to fall back on. She was very shite as a recording artist and a live act. And now her looks have gone, no bugger gives a fuck about her any more. All she could do in her prime was pose in a bikini for FHM. And she became more famous for that than any musical venture. So, if she can’t do that type of thing any more, if the crumpet is now all mouldy and dried up, then she’s got nothing.

  8. More pricks than Van Gerwens dart board, rogered more times than a police radio, face like plasterers radio etc…….

  9. Well I’m appalled by the lack of charity extended to this lady,haha
    I hope she goes on to star in a Lesbain watersports and fisting extravaganza with Katie Price.
    And goes very much downhill from there..
    Let the dog bark once more!
    Great cunting.

  11. She made a right song and dance when she left Redknapp, therefore making him look a cunt and keeping her profile up. Now age is kicking in she’s having another go at staying in the limelight.
    As mentioned above, a job for life on loose women beckons. They’re all sour faced has been wizened old hags, so she’ll slot in nicely.
    As for no dates, just hang on for 18 months/2 years. I reckon there’ll be a well connected divorcee available with a taste for z list celebrities. Only thing is, he’s thick as pig shit, not as wealthy as he once was with debatable parentage and ginger bollocks. Beggars can’t be choosers love.

  12. A fine and long overdue cunting PM, I know Milfs and Gilfs are popular porn wise these days and there some fine older women aaaaht there but she’s not acting like a classy older sexy woman. I saw a video of the deluded old slaaag dancing and wining her batty like she’s in a girl band. What a selfish, deluded, desperate cunt of a woman she is, think abaaaaaht her poor kids seeing their mother acting like a cunt.
    Go fuck yourselves.

    • B&WC, perhaps the poor girl could serve an internship in one of your establishments in order to regain her self respect and earning potential.
      Warm regards, now fuck off.

      • More I hear about this tart the more I dislike her. Sounds like her cunts wider than the Dartford Tunnel.

      • She would be most welcome Guzziguy and would no doubt be popular amongst the senior clientele (aged 90+) like yourself and Dick Fiddler. 😁

      • I hope you have a big black Mammy Two-Shoes type on your books just for Fiddler B&W.

    • I would not debase myself to be Fiddler’s ‘warm up act ‘ and the thought of going in after that vile beast has indulged in his shameful practices is unthinkable.
      Fuck off!

      • Mr Fiddlers favourite lady is Shanaya rolonda Johnson, she dresses up as a house servant for him and he strolls in wearing his plantation owner outfit…the vile racist.

      • @Guzzi You’re wise not to want to go after me…she’d be ruined for a normal man…you wouldn’t even be able to graze the sides…be like waving a chipolata up a windsock.

      • @B+WC…. If she won’t do a spot of housework for the other 59 minutes of my £200 hour long session, she can Fuck Off..the lazy trout could at least do a bit of hoovering or dusting.

  13. Yet another poor unfortunate who took that famous slogan¹ rather too seriously. There were already far too many of these tediously attention-seeking WAGs quarter of a century ago, surely it’s time to give it a rest?

    Eternal you ain’t, Louise; you’re a scrawny irrelevant has been. Your excessive “time in the sunshine of celebrity” mutatis mutandis the oxygen of overexposure in the media is now more likely to provoke squamous cell carcinoma than to invoke public sympathy.

    ¹ referring, obviously, to the Dogs Trust™² strapline

    A dog is for life, not just for Christmas

    ² formerly “The National Canine Defence League”: the memorable slogan was dreamed up by Clarissa Baldwin for that organisation more than 40 years ago

    • That’s the problem with these has been celebs…the attention they once got is like a drug they crave.

      • I seem to remember the T-shirt which said the opposite, Guzziguy.

        Come to think on it, the kind of nightclubs¹ I used to frequent in the early 90s could have benefitted from handing out flyers saying «the dogs in here are for one night only”.

        ¹ eg The (New) Conti(nental) (Club), 42nd St, 5th Ave, Sankeys Soap, Fridays (opp Withington golf club), Bamboo (Hazel Grove), Faeces (Buxton Market Place), Bredbury Hall… and before the 90s Rotters, Placemate 7, The Amber Club (good for drugs) &c&c. These emporia of low repute were all stuffed to the gunwhales with dogs, slags, scrubbers munters, neds and chavs of every possible stripe… though the occasional honey-bunny made it worthwhile keeping an eye open

    • Misses her family, lost on a hostile world, everyone out to get her,
      You people should have some human kindness.
      I saw her in that film and it made me really sad.

      She did play ET right?

  14. 🎵 Marinaaaaaaa …
    Aquamarinaaaaaa 🎵
    What is that nauseating,
    Smell of fish …… 🎵
    Whenever you’re near ? 🎵

    Troy Tempest would load her into a torpedo tube and fire her off.
    Good old Troy.
    Fish away !!!

  15. Why is it that these “slags” never seem to visit my corner of Northumberland?….every day seems to feature some “tart” who has screwed just about every male between the ages of 18 to 80…and yet not one of the slack-clackered strumpets has crossed my path.

    Come to rural Northumberland,Louise…you might be a past-it auld slapper but I’d still slip you a length.

      • Evening Dick.

        Mince & broccoli masala with mashed potatoes. Now serving up!

        Mushroom vindaloo tomorrow.

        What did you have? Fray Bentos vegan?

    • Dick, Your words comprise an irresistible siren song to these 40-something slappers, I suggest raising the drawbridge after the first 20 get in.

  16. The ignominious fate of the Karen.

    Sold ‘Girl power’, consumer feminism and lies about being a ‘strong, independent woman’ throughout the late nineties and early noughties by the likes of Beyonce, Sex and the City and a sociology degree, it hasn’t worked out.

    Now it’s loneliness (exacerbated by social media), boxed wine, a low-paid, insecure admin job and three kids by two different blokes.

    Go on, Karen. tell me about your 1 AM Gemporia purchases and how you’re ‘living your best life’.

  17. All I know about her is, she fucking butchered ‘Stuck in the middle with you”
    She will never be forgiven for that atrocity.

    Seen more Japs eyes than a second hand Datsun wing mirror.

  21. I had a thing for Karen Carpenter back in the day, I smashed one out regularly over her as I like them skinny, although she took that to the extreme and I got brewers droop…

    • Karen was pretty tasty when she had a bit of meat on her. She also had nice tits. She often cut a dash in a tight T-Shirt in the early days.There was an album cover (‘Horizon’) where she had a tight T-Shirt on and she looked fantastic. A shame she went mad with the drugs and the weight loss obsession. Richard Carpenter, however, is a cunt.

      https://img.cdandlp.com/2012/12/imgL/115782456.jpg

      • Karen was her healthiest in around 73-74, she looked great. Whereas Richard Carpenter was/is a ginormous cunt and looked like John Claude Van Damme with bouffant hair, back then.

  22. I never realised Brains from Thunderbirds was a crossdresser.
    “D-d-does my b-bum look b-b-big in this, m-mister Tracy?’

  23. Careful chaps, the governcunt is debating making misogyny a fully fledged hate crime. Misogyny is open to interpretation, any criticism of anything a woman (not sure how woman is now defined) could lead to a prosecution for a hate crime.

    I had a thing for Louise back in the day, if she’s willing so am I………

  24. Average at best. She was airbrushed all over the pages of FHM back in the day. Made for an interesting ogle in the crew room during the break but she was soon identified as just another talentless hoe with her kit off and a ‘premier league’ footballer in her sights.

    I once bumped into Redknapp senior at Southampton Airport. Ho he, an even bigger cunt in reality.

    • Never did owt for me.
      Too bland, too Public image wholesome,
      Now I know shes a filthy old whore (allegedly) and probably has flames tattooed around her twat im slightly more interested!
      Although guess in person shes a vacant, empty headed Forrest Gump type?
      Shes not intellectually suited as a long term partnership for a bookish man like myself
      Probably just jizz on her face and kick her boney old arse out the door.

    • I agree. She just wasn’t sexy. Louise was sort of attractive enough back then, but there was nothing else. She had a personality that was all put on syrupy ‘girl next door’ shite. Kylie Minogue did that image at the start of her musical career, so it was nothing new. And that was boring as well.

      Anyone else remember Emmylou Harris? Talented and sexy.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbaz_T6BN3g

      • I think you hit the nail on the head with Louise Redknapp.
        Syrupy girl next door type and nothing much else.
        And no musical talent.

      • I remember her well. Got some early stuff of hers and I still watch a bit on YouTube with Neil Young and John Prine.

      • Some people exude sex appeal and sexual magnetism.
        Marilyn Monroe had it in spades.
        Madeline Kahn had it in oodles.
        Goldie Hawn has it.
        Debbie Harry did too.
        Its not necessarily about looks.
        Its just either there or not.
        Presume blokes do too, dunno?
        Bet ive got it.
        😁

      • I agree there, MNC. It’s either there or it isn’t. Katherine Hepburn, Ursula Andress, Carolyn ‘Morticia’ Jones and Shirley Maclaine in their heydays all had it by the shitload. As did Julie Newmar, Janet Leigh, Jacqueline Bisset, Jill St John, Joan Collins, Jane Seymour. What is it about birds whose names begin with J?

  26. Apparently she, s just completed her first mile of cock, she will have to ask old Katey Price where she got her Y shaped coffin made for when it all gets to much…

  27. She was s stunner about 20 years ago. Age has not been kind, she looks really weird now. Like an alien.

    But then again, how many of us look better now than we did 20 years ago?

    He husband is a woke anti white pro BLM advocate on Sky (probably to keep his career going) so she can fuck off an’ all.

    • He was crap as a player too. Compare him to Gerrard, Souness, Keegan, Callaghan and Tommy Smith and even Jan Molby, and Jamie doesn’t come near any of them.

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