Cheddar Man

Greetings, pale, male, and stale cis-scum! I, Olwain Tolkien-Abdullah (pronouns they/them – misgenger me and I WILL SUE) have hijacked that filthy heterosexual Chimp Licker’s account to cunt that legacy media relic:
‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?’
I watched an episode of this the other night and was shocked to see that not only did it feature a WHITE PERSON, but that the ancestors of that white person were ALL WHITE TOO!
For shame! Where’s the representation? Don’t they know that, according to the Natural History Museum…
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/feb/07/first-modern-britons-dark-black-skin-cheddar-man-dna-analysis-reveals

…the first Brits were BAME (even though they had blue eyes) and were therefore, I infer, Peacefuls – even though they preceded the advent of that religion by millennia?

And to make matters worse, all their ancestors had produced offspring by male-female pairings, thereby tacitly endorsing non-non-heterosexual means of reproduction!

But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, bearing in mind this terrestrial teleblog is the product of the rabidly right-wing BBC! But I remain hopeful the great British public will have the good sense to ignore their own biased genetic inheritance in favour of flavour-of-the-week socio-political fads…Allah willing!

Nominated by: Chimp Licker

67 thoughts on “Cheddar Man

  1. when they first DNA tested old cheddar cheese he was Mediterranean with blue eyes, more like a syrian or a Greek…now he’s a fucking Congo dandy a brother of Idi Amin but The Red Lady of Paviland is 30,000 years older and turned out to be a pure white male with red hair. Joggers are just getting on my tits now. trying to sponge off our history….and they stink

  2. What a cheesy article! No doubt he was up to no Gouda. That’s not very mature! Well cheese a jolly good fellow… I Camembert the rest of the words. I need to think very Caerphilly what I’m going to say next. The laughing cow is taking the piss out of me. I can’t do feta than that.

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