Tom Hanks remains a cunt and a disgrace to the film industry.
Not for anything in particular he may have done recently – although apparently his newest offering “News of The World” has been labelled “bland” and “one dimensional”. So what’s new? His films have consistently been utter shit:
Forest Gump – boring gurning shit
The Da Vinci Code – boring puzzle solver shit
The Ladykillers – shit remake
Saving Private Ryan – Americans won the war single handed shit
The Terminal – just plane shit
Castaway – boring shit on an island
The Green Mile – prison giant shit
Big – Massive shit
Captain Phillips – ship shit
(Insert/add any other Hanks film, it will be just as shit.)
If Hanks has a purpose at all, it must surely be to point up how brilliant James Stewart, Clark Gable, Humphrey Bogart, Marlon Brando and all real film stars were. For fuck sake, Hanks is such a cunt that he makes Ben Affleck look like a good actor.
Nominated by: Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea
Only good movie he ever did was ‘Splash’, and that was only good because Daryl Hannah had her kit off.
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I thought Philadelphia was a bit cheesy.
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Funny how years later Daryl Hannah brought about the demise of Crosby Stills Nash and Young.
Neil has left his old lady and shacked up with Hannah, and the Croz basically and publicly called her a slag and a gold digger. Crosby is a cunt, but at least he’s an honest cunt. And, to be fair, they should have split up after Deja Vu in 1970. They have done fuck all of note since that album.
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He’s better than Denzil-every part I play is the same-Washington.
Less shouty than Al Pacino.
Less annoying than Tom Cruise.
He was brilliant as that retard with premature ejaculation and a footwear fetish👍
Look forward to him sniuffing it so they play a season of his films on tv👍
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Double 90’s romcom shite of Sleepless in Seattle and You Got Mail, but that private jet won’t pay for itself. Talking of Seattle they are bringing back Frasier after twenty years, that’ll be a woke shit show of its former self.
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Rarely works.
Who will be playing Frasier?
Kelsey may be replaced by Whoopi fucking Goldberg and Miles by Oprah Winfrey.
Guest appearances by Harry Hewitt as “Jane” and Sparkles as the dog. At leSt she would be well cast.
🤔👍
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They can’t have anyone but Kelsey Grammer playing Frasier, anyone else would be complete shit. KG wouldn’t allow them to turn it into a woke love fest.
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The ‘new’ Frasier is going to be shite. A cast iron woke certainty.
The new Spitting Image didn’t even get past the first hurdle. Some soft turd got ‘offended’ at a puppet of Ed Sheercunt and they instantly caved in. Fucking pathetic.
Always fancied boffing Jane Leeves back in the day.
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Bachelor Party was mildly amusing but I think he has deleted it from his CV now he’s Hollywood royalty.
The look on the twat’s face when Ricky Gervais basically called them all cunts at the Oscars was hilarious.
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But the donkey in Batchelor Party managed to out-act Wanks every time.
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Wasn’t bachelor party the one with the deeply moving “bare arse through the car sunroof” scene? 😀
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Catch me if you can was a great film, in fact Green mile, castaway, Forrest Gump,
ive no problems with Tom Hanks as a actor.
As a ducky lefty hollywoke gobshite I have.
But in my opinion hes a fine actor.
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In some of his movies he wasn’t a bad cunt.In others he was a good cunt.In one he was a dumb cunt.Then in another he was a gay cunt.Over all I’d say he was an ok cunt,but not a great cunt.Not a totally useless cunt,and no doubt a fuckin’ rich cunt.I hope he rejoices in his cuntishness,as we all should.
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Greyhound is a good film.
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Good film, I enjoyed it too.
Hedgehog was a big leap forward, but I doubt the USS Keeling would have been so equipped in 1942. The multiple production companies, including Goetzman’s/Hanks’ own (Playtone) went to considerable expense (US$ 50 mio) in their quest for authenticity, so who knows? Sir Limply, perhaps?
Or maybe ROFL Coconuts will fill us in later today.
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And then there’s those nasty rumours about liking people of an innapropriate age…cunters might like to investigate the claims made by a woman called Sarah Ruth Ashcraft…
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Imdeed Thomas-and his recent move to Greece, where peter-fillya has been downgraded to a “mental illness”😉
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Yes, he is ”another one.”
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I thought I had found an exception to the cuntishness of Hanks, The Road To Perdition. But then I realised I quite liked it because of Paul Newman in his last proper big screen role, and Jude Law’s turn as a hitman.
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Good shout.
A pretty good film with plenty of violence and a straightforward story.
Not infested by woke.
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Only good if you cannot sleep as this potato-faced, soporific dullard will act like the strongest sleeping pill in the world. Miscast as a killer in the one where Paul Newman acts him off the screen as well as playing a hard prison officer in that one where that magic negrô releases loads of alien insects out of his mouth. ‘Big’ was alright as child tv-type crap but would’ve been better with an actual actor.
Mediocre vomit for mediocre people.
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Hanks doesn’t come anywhere near Newman. I also watched Polar Express with my niece a Christmas or two ago. All it consisted of was crap CGI animation and Tom Hanks shouting. What a big gob and a look at me cunt. He’s like an American Chris Evans*
* The ginger bollocked four eyed gobshite. Not the Avengers woke thickhead cunt.
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Fucking low blow cunters.
You list all his minor works and pretend these films define his career, a more dishonest critique I have yet to read. If the entire body of his work was the films mentioned I may agree he is not the Hollywood Titan he is universally accepted to be….but wait…………TOY STORY 1-4, how can you discuss this fine actors work and leave his biggest role unmentioned?
Disgraceful!
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Tim Allen was more fun in those anyway 😁
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I’ve only ever seen Castaway once. Never again.
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I’d written a very interesting piece about how good he was in “Drive Angry” with Amber Heard…well.it was more about Amber Heard and her attractions really. Turns out I’m thinking of the wrong Tom Hanks…but who gives a fuck anyhow?..it’s still an excuse to get a gawp at the lovely Miss Heard….https://images.app.goo.gl/bFbGch7GSD9znyBy7
She can shit on my bed anytime she fancies.
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….and indulge her lesbian tendencies too if she cares to bring a friend who isn’t some butch Munter.
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Gemma will be jealous, Dick.
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Gemma can be her girl-friend….that way neither will be jealous when I swoop in like some hormonally-overdosed Charolais bull..all grunting,snorting and mad look in the eyes….Oh,the times we’ll have.
Morning,Mike.
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You could do the Munter first to clean the pipes for the main course
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@King C.
” Clean the pipes “?… knowing my fucking luck,the only pipe to be cleaned would be the one carrying blood to my heart…I can see the Death Certificate now….”Death caused by clot dislodged due to over -vigorous and extremely rare sexual shenanigans”….well.either that or it’ll just go down as “Covid”
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Now you’re talking! 👍
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I don’t normally go for blonds…cheating,untrustworthy,greedy tarts as a rule…but I’d turn a blind eye if Amber pinched the loose change off my bedside table.
Morning,RTC.
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Definite bunny-boiler (Fatal Attraction) meets Kathy Bates (Misery).
She would tie you down spread-eagled on her bed, and do unspeakable things involving hot custard, pliers, red-hot pokers, clothes pegs. ice cubes and slightly over-ripe cucumbers!
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Good.
Morning,Techno.
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I don’t usually go for blondes myself. Except Olivia Newton John and the office manager from Saxondale.
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That would be Morwenna Banks Norm. Very delectable and married to drippy geek David Baddiel. A tragedy on a par with Victoria Coren being wed to that soft arse, head down the bog at school cunt David Mitchell.
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Only problem is Heard is a bona fide card carrying get the elephant tranquliser 100% certifiable psycho and a man hating tuppence flicking cunt.
Hide all the cutlery.
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” a bona fide card carrying get the elephant tranquliser 100% certifiable psycho”…well at least we’ll share some common ground in that case,Norman…. plus I’d quite enjoy shitting on Johnny Depp’s bed too.
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Apollo 13, was pretty decent.
The only good thing about the Jackanory story that is “Saving Private Ryan” is that he gets shot and dies at the end of the film. (Same for Road to Perdition)
Castaway was overlong and dreary; plus Wilson, the volleyball, out-acted him.
Everything else he’s done is just mind-boggling meh
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Yes, I agree Wilson was excellent and really pumped up for the part.
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Yeah, but even Wilson eventually had enough of Hanks and buggered off. I don’t think that was scripted either.
A volleyball’s gotta do, what a volleyball’s gotta do.
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I think wilson started well but let himself down later in the film
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3 Strokes: Well crafted, sir. Made me chuckle.
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An average actor.Not really a fan.Meh.
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Stopped caring round about that time he stopped caring whether he actually needed to bother making a film or not for an annual Oscar.
And yes, he is a supreme cunt just like the rest of them for the shit he’s been more famous for this past year or so. Which he really didn’t like Ricky Gervais pointing out did he.
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Sorry to drift off topic but me and Mrs Jelmet attempted to watch the fairly recent new Stan & Ollie film last night starring luvvie cunt Steve Coogan.
Got about 15 minutes in before my piss started to boil and had me knock the thing off.
Woke infested fucking garbage.
Within 5 minutes 1930s era Laurel (Coogan) managed to slip in some thinly veiled lefty rhetoric criticism of Benito Mussolini for dropping bombs on all those “poor people in Africa” (yawn) quickly followed by a scene from a 1930s era, packed to the rafters American cinema where a quarter of the people (all watching Laurel & Hardy of course) in there were black. (naturally in 1930s in a racially segregated US)
Within 15 minutes Stan and Ollie then touch down in 1953 Blighty, rock up at an old style boozer in Newcastle complete with the Tyne Bridge in the background only to be greeted by a landlady/member of staff who also happened to be black.
Yep that’s right, travel back in time to1953 in the industrial North East of England and the first person you meet will be one of the fabled Windrush generation.
Obviously the Ministry of Truth in action.
Yeah and of course Tom Hanks is a cunt an all.
Enjoyed Forrest Gump back in the day though.
Good Morning.
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I am baffled – why didn’t the people filming Tom hanks in castaway just phone someone to rescue him? 🤷♂️
It does rather smack of a lack of thought.
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Coogan will never be as funny as either Laurel or Hardy. And I bet Stan never made any such speech about Benito. I bet the black landlady never existed either, pure woke bollocks. In decades to come, that odious cunt Coogan will be known for one thing and one thing only: Partridge. While Stanley and Oliver are all time legends.
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Exactly.
Why do these wankers insult the publics (the one’s who actually fucking pay) intelligence with these pathetically unsubtle (to any cunt over 40 with a brain cell) attempts to rewrite history so as to fit a woke narrative.
It could be argued that these may only be small, seemingly insignificant minor details that may not be worth noticing, except I fucking do and I refuse to watch.
Nobody is on board with your bollocks you cunts!
Coogan the luvvie insufferable cunt.
Unfortunately, for him, his ego and his delusions of grandeur, he is also a typecast cunt an all.
I will admit to being a fan of Alan Partridge over the years but that is the only decent thing he’s ever done.
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I agree, Herman. Partridge was good at first. A piss take of Elton Welsby and Nick Owen. But he has since done it to death and the last version (on the BBC) was insufferably woke. With Partridge purposely played by Coogan as a Brexit voting, middle aged white man racist and sexist bore. I always thought Tommy Saxondale was a better character.
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Funnily enough wasn’t that long ago we sat down to re-watch Stan & Ollie’s ‘Pardon Us’ from 1931. They do half of it in blackface, and that’s not even the start of the political incorrectness. Had a gay old time.
OH the old time gay on the other hand still doesn’t ‘get it’ about woke-infested culture. Because we love L&H he assumed I’d be remotely interested in seeing this new film. I can’t get it through to him that every single mainstream production without exception these days will be full of puke-making Lefty crap, we have to go through the same rigmarole every time 🤦♀️ Sorry for your loss Jerman.
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Woke Up.
It seems to be absolutely everywhere.
Nothing is safe from the clutches of these bastards.
Like an assault on the senses from every conceivable angle.
Film, Sports, Radio, Documentaries… Everything. Cunts.
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There’s no seems about it sadly Jerman, and not even music escapes anymore, or even trying to watch things online without woke ads being shoe-horned in even with Adblockers etc on.
As for the viewing experience, currently trying to work through and weed out my DVD collection to flog off a few as I’m out of gin. Strikes that out of about 3000, maybe a generous 100 are post 1990.
If it’s not the woke shit, it’s the acceptance these past 25 or so years of incongruous sex scenes, eff every other word, shakycam and mumble-mike, and the lighting man on strike. Either in films or on the box. Crapola all of it.
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When Hanks is compared to the greats: Bogey, Jimmy Stewart, Paul Newman, Christopher Lee, Bob Mitchum, The Duke, Michael Caine, Terence Stamp, Jack Klugman, Kirk Douglas, and yes, the great Ollie Reed, Hanks is shown up as the bang average cunt he really is. Even Frank Sinatra was a better actor than Hanks.
Am I the only one who hated Forrest fucking Gump? I thought he was an irritating little cunt.
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I’ll go you one better, Norm. I’ve never seen Forrest Gump.
Who else can add to the list of filums that people think everyone has seen but haven’t? I’ll go with:
E.T.
Gone With The Wind
Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind
Titanic
Avatar
Godfather (none of them)
Rocky (none of them)
Harry Potter (none of them)
Lord of the fucking Rings (none of them)
Hobbit (none of them)
Pirates of the Caribbean (none of them)
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I will chip in Blade Runner, Its A Wonderful Life and any Marvel film.
Evening IY.
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Evening LL.
Good call on those filums. I’m in the same boat. Not seen any of those either.
How are you doing, squire?
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Not so bad thanks mate, both parents jabbed and might be getting mine a bit earlier than I first thought so a bit of positivity after a pretty awful year for most. I’m a sporting refugee at the moment, football was a real passion but now that is down the crapper, possibly for good, I’m looking at other options.
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News of the World? This lot will do me.
Hanks, my arse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sppnIijmjY
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Tom Hanks, News of the World, almost got a cunting from me a few weeks back when I watched it for it’s sickening wokism!
Almost everybody that was in it, that had more than a bit part and was white was a baddie. All the rest were goodies. The Indians, great sports, gave a horse to the girl and Tom in a desert wind storm. The tanned, great sports, hard working and put upon by whitey etc etc etc. It was
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The only three movies I like with him in are:
Saving Private Ryan -for the first 20 minutes, shame bloody Matt Damon didn’t die too in it.
Dragnet for Dan Ackroyd, a fave of mine.
Splash for Daryl Hannah and her arse.
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Matt Damon does bite the dust but not until near the end, where some kraut rearranges his skull with a rifle butt.
Team America was his finest hour, and he was only a puppet…
“Maaaat Daaaamon!” 😆😆😆
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Now…. Suck my cock!!!
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There’s something about him that’s creepy and a bit off. His twitter is a bit hollyweird too.
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Tom Hanks is the most boring arsehole in Hollywood. Shaving Ryan’s Privates was only good for the first half hour after that was like having your fingernails slowly pulled out.
Hoo-ee, what a cunt.
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I quite liked Apollo 13 mainly because I used to live near Houston, toured the space centre a few times and on a separate occasion entirely, I actually met Gene Kranz. Seriously.
Considering what he did and lived through, he’s amazingly humble and seemed a thoroughly nice man. It’s not everyday you get to shake the hand of a genuine American hero. Top man.
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Hanks’ public announcement of his acquisition of Bat Flu was nauseating. Followed by his updates of his wellbeing to his fans blah blah blah.
Yeah, sorry you got the Yellow Fever and all, but seriously Tom – so did a lot of people. The world really didn’t need frequent updates on your health. You’re really not that important. To your loved ones perhaps, but not to the rest of us.
In the words of Jack Regan, “Shut it”.
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