(Spot the Gorilla! – DA)
Hello all my fellow counters, I want to nominate tessica brown, yes that’s right it’s not a typo, this dumb yank decided to use gorilla glue to stick her hair down, subsequently the dumb cunt tried to remove the with several attempts, landing her in hospital with doctors unsuccessfully trying to remove the glue from her hair, the dumb cunt is now attempting to sue gorilla glue company, they have released a statement that you should never use the glue on yourself, darwin theory says that this dumb bitch should never breed, the part of me that says gorilla glue she too its description too honestly, what a dumb cunt
Nominated by: Sidthesexistsforeskin
And seconded by Captain Magnanimous:
Tessica Brown is a cunt, isn’t she.
How dare Gorilla Glue not inform people to use their glue as hair product? That’s why Tessica Brown has hired a lawyer and might sue them, the irresponsible, uncaring (probably racist) bastards.
She attempted to flatten her frizz and when nothing else worked reach for this powerful adhesive. Clearly, Gorilla Glue should have indicated some sort of warning which would protect young ladies who didn’t know about potent glue and didn’t have much apetitude.
Wait a minute. She’s 40. A gown woman, and an “influencer” for Tik-Tok (Psh). She subsequently posted videos of herself at the hospital where they had to burn off her hair to try to salvage it. She must’ve gone bananas.
Here’s some advice: If you’re going to do ridiculously stupid things and use products for something different than it advertises, don’t humiliate yourself with videos advertising you’re a moron.
She’s learnt an important lesson here: Don’t be a stupid cunt.
…and thirded by mystic maven
Tessica Brown AKA the Gorilla Glue Girl.
You may have heard of this imbecile, if not, the story is that she didn’t have any hair glue left (something which some black women apparently use to glue their hair flat on their head), so she used gorilla glue instead and now has a head resembling a billiard ball. The daft cow went onto soshul meeja to bemoan her lot and to show the entire world just what a clueless cunt she is.
She has also created a crowd funding page so she can sue the manufacturers, presumably for her own stupidity. The saddest thing is that she has supporters who have apparently raised over $13,000 so far. They have also managed to bring systemic racism into the equation somehow. Another display of human regression.
Does anyone have any paint remover?
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Tessica? Ffs, thick cunts can’t even spell Jessica correctly 😷
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I thought the dumb bitch had trouble spelling Tessa. Or maybe her name is T-essica.
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Who knows, HBC. Our tanned friends do have plenty of previous for butchering decent names with awful slang sounding gobbledygook. I blame da baby mommas 😷
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Yeah, having straight hair is ‘white privilege’, so of course she needed to do it. I feel so fucking ashamed that I don’t need to …not!
Stupid dozy cunt!
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To the tune of the Adam & The Ants classic ‘Stand & Deliver’.
‘Spot the Gorilla! A load of fucking shite!’
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“Snort coke from a mirror – Kill wiv bullet or a knife”
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Evening IY, cold enough for you in Texas? If Trump was still around no doubt he would be copping shit from the likes of CNN and the Washington Post for the weather, obviously an evil plot to kill off the Latinos and blacks.
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Evening LL. Good to hear from you.
Yes, usually sunny and warm Texas hovers around 15 to 16 degrees C this time of year. Earlier this week we had -15 to -20. It was fucking cold. Then the power company decided it would be a good idea to have rotating blackouts. Monday was the worst. Power went out at 10:15AM and came back on at 5:45PM. 30 minutes later, it went off again and stayed off for another 7 hours. Cunts!
No warning of course. So you had to fucking guess when the power would go out, how long for and when it would come back again. One night the power came back on after hours and hours at 3AM. We quickly got out of bed and rushed to make a hot cup of tea and heat up some soup before the fucking power went out again.
Laying in bed fully clothed under 7 or 8 heavy blankets just waiting for the power to come back is not as much fun as it sounds. Poxy cunting weather. A pox on the power company. A pox I tell you, a pox!!!
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At least you don’t need to worry about the food in the freezer going off IY.
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Quick fixes, IY, in reverse order of shrewdness or cost-effectiveness:
a) obtain, at best price¹, a very large (25kW and up) diesel generator and use that to power up resistive load AC mains space heaters (eg oil-filled radiators, fan heaters, bar fires, convection heaters &c)
b) acquire, at best price, a good number of paraffin (kerosene) space heaters². (Rippingilles, Alaaddin, Valor are/were reliable manufacturers in UK). Purloin plenty of paraffin (kerosene), possibly from local airfields and deploy. Ensure adequate ventilation, and to be on the safe side, furnish yourself with an audible CO detector simul
c) purchase at very low price an AC-DC inverter set, a 60Ah car battery, and a propane-fuelled regular gas boiler³. “Splice” this into existing pressurised recirculating water infrastructure (where applicable), burn several kg propane per hour and enjoy.
The latter solution was from personal experience in Ankara, where electrical (and natural gas) outages were a commonplace 23 years ago.. My neighbour, the rather grand German military attaché, paid me well for setting up an identical system in his huge apartment next door. I have retained the inverters, and would be happy to ship them to you for a trifle.
d) acquire, at a good price, electrically heated blankets, throws, & c and use in conjunction with a lower-powered generator. Eat high fat foods and ensure good hydration.
Unser no circumstances be tempted to return to Blighty. Siberian tundran temps notwithstanding, you’re almost certainly better off standing pat in the Lone Star State for the foreseeable.
Good luck
¹ does Home Depôt™ sell such gear?
² if available locally
³ this should be easy, although the splicing may involve olives, Yorkshire joints, and specific tooling – all easily available, though
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Yikes! That’s quite the list, Ajax. Thanks for putting that together. I appreciate it.
I have been informed by Mrs Yank that when we buy our next house, in the budget will be our own backup generator.
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Glue feet to bumper of car.
Drive 20 miles.
Clean car.
Sorted.
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Why didnt her social worker stop her?
Or LeBron the community leader?
Or the local Labour party candidate?
Is Tessica meant to think for herself?
It had her picture on the packaging so obviously intended to be poured over her head?
Fuck me.
An people take a knee?!!
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It was a lucky escape actually, she was planning on to marinade the collard greens with it after she had fixed her hair.
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MNC@ – Tessice was possibly trying for a DIY facelift so the entire world could see her, ahem, “picaninny watermelon smile” 😀
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Do you think she thought the bottle contained shampoo for knee grows?
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Spot the brain cell. Fucking dozy cunt.
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Fuck me, even an actual gorilla wouldn’t be that stupid!
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Plainly, Ms Brown had been watching old Ronseal™ adverts and took it all a bit too literally.
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T Rex (Ferociously strong) tape over the gob would improve the look of this cunt.
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She should use it on the opening of her cunt to spare us from any equally stupid offspring.
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The reason she wanted to flatten and straighten her hair was because she wanted to look more white. No doubt the next thick thing this dim wit will do is try to lighten her skin by bleaching it. Beware bleach makers of America.
Brings a whole new meaning to the word dense.
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She’s not the only cunt that’s done this, there’s a pandemic of stupid in the world.
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She did the same thing as a kid with Robertson’s marmalade.
Its like when a dog rolls in fox shite.
Put Gorilla glue near Harvey price hed bite off the top and pour it on his frizzy nut.
Its just nature.
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Harvey should pour it over his mother’s cunt. Is it possible to manufacture enough gorilla glue to seal that skanky hole?
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It’s Papa Lazarou in drag.
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“Your glue is mine now”..
I really hope this silly girl isn’t allowed near scissors or moving vehicles unsupervised.
Hmm, actually, I don’t!
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Remember the couple who set their camper van on cruise control then retired into the living quarters to make a coffee. Fucking hell. Or the woman who dried her poodle in the microwave then sued the makers of the microwave. The list is endless but gorilla glue in hair is up there.
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My Brother lived in Florida with his American partner for a while – he was amazed by the ridiculous warning signs on absolutely everything – “warning, this car is not edible and should not be used as a trouser press or fishing rod, etc”.
The only things that did not have warning signs on them were the assault rifles at the local Wal-Mart.
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“warning, this car is not edible and should not be used as a trouser press or fishing rod, etc”.
Haha! That was fucking funny, well done.
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Id of egged her on.
Love shit like this.
Stuck rubber noddys an tampax to her nut too.
Stupid twats like this deserve all they get.
I like those home videos of dicks like this getting injured/upset.
Those and those ones where animals attack!
Nothing funnier than some yank getting battered off a bear,
Or a chimp handing out a arsewhipping!
Im upbeat for days afterwards.
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whatever happened to evostick?
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‘DA’ said the relevant word three into his brackets.
Nowt else needs saying.
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Sub Saharan intelligence in action😂👍
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She probably did it so her mates could come round and sniff her hair. Has she made an acquaintance with sleepy Joe?
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An appalling waste of white man’s technology and medical resources.
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I wish it had glued it’s false eyelashes on with it and taken it as an cure for heartburn.
Chocco thick cunt.
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It’s the twats who donated to her crowd funding appeal need cunting too. Fucking bellends.
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Run out of soul glo, eh?
To say that the packaging image misled her would be racist, so I won’t.
Neuter her, for fucks sake.
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So…the box doesn’t specifically say don’t put it on your hair?
I’m going to sue Black and Decker. The hedge trimmer I bought didn’t state that I shouldn’t try to shave it with it, the utter fucking cunts
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Forgive me if I’m wrong but doesn’t Gorrila Glue come with a warning not to get it on your skin and a pair of protective gloves to keep it off your hands? Strikes me as the same sort of idiot who’d microwave a cat to dry it – wasn’t that one of the original stories about this sort of thing? Manufacturers can’t list every possible fuckwit scenario they should just exclude “damage caused by the action of an idiot”, boot out every claim like this and then throw a load of money at a “legal precedent” when they get a “screamer”. Idiots specifically excluded from any product liability. It really ought to be the default. What a cunt.
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I bought a hair dryer once, warning label came with ‘Not for internal use’.
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A kind way of saying ‘Gays, do not shove this up your arse and come crying to us for a handout later.’
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“Super” glue is obviously a white supremacist construct, and as for “contact” adhesive, well that’s just sexual harassment.
If she’d used “two pack” adhesive, would someone in a passing Cadillac have shot her?
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Oh I don’t know, she’s not an activist, just dim and made a huge mistake. Not hurt anyone except herself.
Medical procedures cost and arm and a leg in America apparently. Kind of feel sorry for her. Glad she got the stuff off her head courtesy of that nice plastic surgeon.
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A definite dumb cunt, and pretty fucking ugly as well.
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Heya folks,
Long time reader of the site but first post. What a stupid cunt she is for doing this and then trying to sue.
Glad you finally commented. Welcome aboard – NA
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The idiot should have put the glue between her legs so she cannot breed anymore halfwits.
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Of course she’s suing.
She’s been brought up with her family, her teachers and the media telling her she’s never to blame for anything because she’s black. Any mishaps that happen to her are all the fault of those white devils.
You’d need a book as thick as War and Peace to give away with any product this thick cunt purchases.
If she bought an electric cooker you’d need to include ‘Do not attempt to dry face on rings.’ Or on wire scourers ‘Do not use as toilet paper.’ Perhaps on the contents of doggy poop bins in parks you’ll need to put ‘Do not eat the contents of this bin.’
All this is pointless though. Does anyone really think this fucker can read anyway?
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