Belts and Braces

Posted on by

(Desperately trying not to think of MNC – DA)

I keep seeing a couple of daft old sods who wear belts and braces.

They waddle around with their beer bellies sticking out between the braces and hovering above the belt. What´s the frigging point of wearing a belt AND braces?

Are they neurotic and insecure?

Bondage fans?

Is this the first step before taking to adult nappies?

Nominated by: Mr Polly

58 thoughts on “Belts and Braces”

  2. I don’t know, but I like it!
    I wear a thick leather belt but no matter what,
    Whenever I bend over I blink the brown eye.
    You see I suffer from builders bum.
    Braces I wore years ago as a young skinhead,
    I didnt realise you could do both, belt an braces but im a slave to fashion!
    I really am, and if thats whats ‘in’ then im doing it too.
    Wish theyd bring back ‘paki bashing’
    For the full nostalgia experience.

  4. I don’t wear both at the same time. But I imagine wearing a belt and braces gives the wearer extra reassurance.
    Imagine meeting her royal highness her majesty the queen and your trousers fall down. Make sure you wear clean underwear just in case. 🙂

  5. The cuntings are getting stranger. Who’d of thought we’d be here basking in the glow of MNC’s brown sun?

    Usually I’d not have a drink at this hour but I think alcohol may be help erase some of what I’ve just read.

    Cheers and bottoms up.

  6. In Once Upon A Time In The West Henry Fonda shot a man whilst scoffing at him wearing belt and braces 😁 And rightly so 🧐

  7. Personally, I think the Belt and Road Initiative is a tad more worthy of analysis and consideration than this unusual nomination. It is certainly more salient to the contemporaneous circ(umstsances) than, say, C(r)aptain Tom.

    Play Misty For Him

      • Me too CS!👍
        It took me a minute to work out what it was .
        Can smell the summer smell of mown grass,
        Lovely!👍👍

      • Guten abend Liebs! Ihr können mich – jener und jeder – ruhig mal bedanken… aber absolut ohne zu jener Zeit wenn (oder sogar gleicherzeit ob…) ihr seid total einverstanden meinerseits.

        Apologies, I’ve been drinking rather more heavily than my hepatic processes (cytochrome CYP 450 enzymes) can swiftly contend with. I even ended a sentence with a preposition there, as if further evidence of my in disposal were needed.

        Ganz wichtig ist, eigentlich gleichgültig, ein Verständnis über diese “kontemporäne” sogenannten Umstände. Als Frisch stellt es ein gutes halb-Jahrhundert her: “nur keine Umstände!¹”, Leute!

        Aufhängen sollte man Sie!

        ¹ Max Frisch, Biedermann und die Brandstifter (1953)

    • Extra apologies for the cryptic “play Misty” reference. I have just received via TNT overnight a large-ish consignment of LP records. Erroll Garner features highly in the collection, and I’m rediscovering his art via my new Audio Technica OC9ML cartridge and
      trusty Linn Ekos II tonearm. Ciders and naloxone all round.

      Lovely jubbly. Erroll was ganz und gar spitzenmäßig. Super!

    • I mentioned the Belt and Road Initiative months ago CS old chap.
      Malheureusement je ne peux pas trouve ca maintenant.

      Do try to keep up 😉

      • I mentioned it last January. Sadly Happily the post was deleted.

        The reference I gave/give was my old mucker, a former Consul-General to Chongqing, whom I know pretty well, Tim Summers. Chatham House resident in Honkers this last twenty years an’ all that. It’s his area of expertise, but he is also very good at chess and sight-reading.

        I certainly do keep up on such matters (sight-reading, I mean).

        Steady as she goes Harold. Sorry ’bout that, an’ all. I’m not the expert, but Timothy is.

  8. 🥲🥲🥲

    Yoooaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn 🥱

    The joy of belt and braces has ended bringing me great hilarity…

    😎😂

      • No, CS. If I want to feel groggy, sleepy and somewhat comatose I just read one of your posts in full 👍 Or if I want an example of the aptly names ‘belt and braces’ I read your duplicate reply in German 😁

        In all sincerity though and cruel and unusual banter aside, good luck with your forthcoming nuptials, dear boy 🥳 Word to the wise though, keep the speech as short as poss eh 😉

      • That wasn’t German¹; it was pissed-up bullshit. I’m mashed.

        Pleased however you enjoyed the intentional quasi-ironic tautology of the duplicate posting. I’m genuinely impressed you got the satirical component of that syntactic manœuvre. Very high marks.

        Welcome to the Hall of Shame of Sock Puppetry, btw

  9. Guten abend Liebs! Ihr können mich – jener und jeder – ruhig mal bedanken… aber absolut ohne zu jener Zeit wenn (oder sogar gleicherzeit ob…) ihr seid total einverstanden meinerseits.

    Apologies, I’ve been drinking rather more heavily than my hepatic processes (cytochrome CYP 450 enzymes) can swiftly contend with. I even ended a sentence with a preposition there, as if further evidence of my in disposal were needed.

    Ganz wichtig ist, eigentlich gleichgültig, ein Verständnis über diese “kontemporäne” sogenannten Umstände. Als Frisch stellt es ein gutes halb-Jahrhundert her: “nur keine Umstände!¹”, Leute!

    Aufhängen sollte man Sie!

    ¹ Max Frisch, Biedermann und die Brandstifter (1953)

    • ZEIT (1972) is my favourite Tangerine Dream album. The later CD re-releases never quite did the original Ohr 2LP vinyl release justice.

      • A personal fave is Froese’s solo (ish) Epsilon in Malaysian Pale from the early 70s. I had many-an acid trip with Phaedra as the intro track, and loved Tangerine Dream … Happy days indeed, but life gets better and better.

        Looks like I’m getting married again 🤔. I didn’t get QC and have had enough of working in this country. Partly why I’m so drunk… – we’re going to live outside UK for sure. Either MoBay, where she has property already, or Barbados, which I’d prefer.

      • Congrats CS.👍
        All the best.
        I’ll tell you now, Im not being best man.
        Im sorry but montego bay is too hot for me!
        Sorry to let you down.😀

      • On balance I prefer AQUA. Although the Virgin pressing was atrocious! For once the CD was an improvement.

        Good luck with the impending nuptials and escape from Blighty. Keep us all informed – perhaps we can join you on Skype or whatever for your wedding?!

      • Ajax MKV? I remember my dear old Mum using the lemon scented one to clean the enamelled cast iron bath in the 1970s.

        Naturally prior to the introduction of Jif (the original brand name for Cif , before the fucking cuntinentals corrupted the brand name).

      • Interestingly (or perhaps not) I was in Ankara in ca 2000 when Reckitt Benckiser (formerly & Coleman) changed the name from “Jif” to “Cif”. Part of the reason is/was because a “c” is pronounced as a “j” in many languages, including Modern Turkish.

        For example, my Christian name James is/was usually transcribed as “Cems” in Turkish. Evidently these countries were/are a more important market segment than UK. Thereby hangs another tale.

      • James, I enjoyed your ‘Hyme from a village’ and ‘sometimes’.
        Well done.👍

      • Tnx for the warm wishes. I expect any evacuation will be annoyingly delayed until 2022… but I’m more happy (and pissed) than lately. Plus my shoulder is hugely less painful suddenly.

        Niiice! Erroll Garner really was a cracking pianist. I never could do that left hand right hand separation of beat. The swing of it is just mental

  10. Did anyone catch Kweer Starmer’s speech this morning? What a fucking YAWNATHON – stone cold loser! Made Boris seem almost credible.

    • Ducky starmer and the Labour party are focusing on being more patriotic 😀
      No shite!
      Expect them to be mentioning the armed forces, using the Union Jack and dressing smartly.
      They must of consulted a think-tank over why the ‘red wall’ they took for granted turned on them.
      Some in Labour are outraged!!😀👍👍🇬🇧

      • Every time anyone mentions Starmer and the labour party I just see that picture of the hopeless cunt and the other ugly cow down on their knees for what is in effect a terrorist organisation.
        Fuck labour and all who sail with them…

  11. Off piste but I think I may be going down with something…

    The new Harry Styles single is really rather good IMHO.

    Where is Dr Norman?

    • Ever the attention-seeker eh, Paul? [emulating Coolforcunts there]

      Get to fuck, as others would have it.

      • Bloody hell Gutstick, you’re up late!

        Better still than exorcism might be a good night’s sleep. No? Try my cocktail. I’m currently fixing a transmitter from the Fifties.

        Haunted by the X78 triode hexode valve’s lack of emission, and a mutual inability to sleep.

        I am frankly pissed. Not just Chaplin & Corks 8.2% cider, but also some Lancastrian greenery, sharpeners, and even a large kebab isn’t curtailing my unrest.

        What would Tommy Cooper say (apart from fuck off)?

Comments are closed.