Ufologists

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Bit of an unusual one here. Ufologists. Thanks to my Asperger suffering nephew, I’ve had to endure SIX fucking hours of documentaries that he’d recorded on the subject of UFO’s and aliens. Now, I do believe that there is intelligent life on other planets. It’s mathematically impossible (improbable surely? – NA) that Earth is the only inhabited planet. But I don’t believe for one second that other civilisations are coming here with the frequency that the fucknuts I’ve just had to watch reckon they are.

I certainly don’t believe that the US Air Force has hangars full of alien spacecraft that just happened to fall out of the sky. Are you seriously going to tell me that an advanced alien race can create something capable of crossing the vast depths of space, but can’t fly in a planetary atmosphere, especially when its raining? Seriously, to listen to some of these people, they are literally crashing all the time. Bollocks!

And then there are the tales of abductions and medical examinations. A scientist on one of these documentaries said that any civilisation capable of travelling from their world to ours would have to be at least a thousand years ahead of us technologically. If that’s the case, then surely they have the means of carrying out a medical exam from orbit? Or, maybe, aliens are just dicks.

Now we have the former head of Israeli Space Security, General Haim Eshed, claiming that a few decades ago, a ‘Galactic Federation’ contacted the US and Israeli governments and made a pact with them. They want to help us and give us at least some of their technology. But not yet. They want to remain hidden from the wider human populace, because we’re not ready. In that case, why bother contacting anyone on Earth? Oh yes, they also have a base on Mars. Eshed also claimed that they had to intervene, because Trump wanted to announce their existence to the world. And yet they did fuck all when Eshed did the same. Picky fuckers, this Federation, aren’t they?

Some of these potty fuckers have even formed a religion around UFO’s, how demented is that?

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

82 thoughts on “Ufologists”

  1. I agree that it’s impossible that aliens don’t exist. There are so many stars out there, the odds are that on some planet billions of light years away they speak perfect English. But I don’t believe any aliens have landed on Earth. If there were living beings other than us in the solar system we’d know about it, and the nearest star to our sun is 4.2 light years away. So they’d have to travel four years at the speed of light to get here. Highly improbable.

    • The trouble with travelling that fast is that you become smaller and heavier and time slows down. Then there are worm holes as space isn’t linear. It’s a bit like corrugated iron. Like waves and troughs. But enough quantum theory for today.
      Why travel here then not contact us? And what are the chances they’d be bipedal with two eyes and walk up right?
      Life might exist elsewhere but be very simple, like celtic supporters.

      • If you ended up in Bradford, would you talk to anybody? Same principle, look at the inhabitants and think, naaah.

    • But surely that’s the whole point here – we believe they exist but they are keeping it quiet!? Traveling at FTL is theoretically possible, so don’t dismiss it out of hand – don’t forget they said running a 4-minute mile and traveling faster than sound was also ‘impossible’!

  2. The arrival of visitors from another galaxy would be a welcome relief. Of course, it would not make the BBC “news” as Tik Tok videos of Covid “heroes”, hardships caused by Brexit, and the evil of Trump would take priority.

    • He looks and acts like the jack booted doctors on the ramp…the Nazis were supposed to be messing with alien technology so maybe this is the result?

      If the purpose of Die Gloke was previously unknown maybe it was to turn out useless shit skids like Hancock?

      • Just had to look up Die Gloke – some alleged anti-gravitational, time travelling bell by the gist of it?

        In that case probably best to find this technology and put Matt into the magic bell and send him off with a one way ticket back to the Dark Ages where he can prance about saying ‘watch your tone’ all day long and see how long he lasts.

      • I’d rather see the weasely little bastard put in an altitude chamber and all the air sucked out.

  4. I believe that UFOs have visited our planet in the past….if we’re capable of visiting the Moon why shouldn’t some aliens who could be 10s of thousands of years in advance of us,have visited this planet?

    I’m genuinely surprised that people can be so sure that we are the only thing in an endless space and time capable of “being” and evolving…what makes us so special?

  5. 🎼 🎶 “ So remember, when you’re feeling very small and insecure
    How amazingly unlikely is your birth
    And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere up in space
    ‘Cause there’s bugger all down here on Earth”🎶

  7. We’ve got enough aliens arriving in dinghies without having the fuckers dropping out of the sky. Those little green bastards can fuck off back to Alpha Centauri, or whatever it’s called, and claim their own fucking bennies. If they’re so advanced they must have their own NHS the cunts.
    By the way they call them UAP now.( Unidentified Aerial Phenomena) Apparently they want to distance themselves from Ufology which attracts a lot of nutters. A bit like “NEW” Labour.

  8. Why do UFO’s turn up, get spotted and then leg it..?
    It’s like Captain Cook arriving at Australia, getting clocked by an abo on the beach and doing an about turn. Most illogical….

    • What STILL gets me after all these years is that EVERY UFO picture – even in today’s world of brilliant digital repro – the fucking pics are ALWAYS blurred to fuck! The ONLY ones that ARE clear are obviously fake!
      (A bit like BigFoot, The Loch Ness Monster, The Yeti etc etc etc.!)

    • Yeah they always land in the backyard of some pisshead redneck cunt in Arizona, miles from anywhere. How come they don’t land in Hyde Park on a Sunday afternoon? Must be shy.

  12. Two questions here.
    Are we alone in the universe? Probably not.
    Do UFOs visit? Only in the minds of serious weirdos with a penchant for anal probing.

  13. General Haim Eshed is clearly a paranoid schizophrenic. Not surprising considering everyone in a position of authority is psychotic nowadays.

    Name anyone in or around government in the West today who isn’t.

    It’s the culmination of thirty years of the Russians spiking the bottled water.

  14. I think if aliens did ever visit they would take a look at what a shitfest humankind is and blast the earth to bits just in case we took our warlike and weaponised insanity to other worlds.
    If a few harmless eccentrics want to believe there is life on other worlds fair play to them, it is a possibility and if we want to show the existence of miracles then some mooching drunken hippy turning water into wine pales into insignificance compared to the astonishing fact that a marble spinning in the void of space can produce life.
    Still wouldn’t go to the pub with these weird fkers though! 😃

  15. There was a so called UFO event down in Pembrokeshire while I was out in Rhodesia back in 77, the lying cunt kids admitted they made it up, one of them is now a middle aged local businessman, who is still a sly cunt by all accounts, lying snot nosed bastards!!!

  16. What about that alien that landed in that garden in Clapham? They said he was a stowaway who fell out of the landing gear of a plane from Kenya but he could have been a spaceman. A pity he got splattered all over the crazy paving. Splashdown!!! 😁

  17. If there were aliens landing on Earth they would be in the UK, every other fucker wants to come here for some reason.

    It’s pretty certain that there is life in other parts of the universe, ‘but not as we know it’
    The chances of life similar to ours, the conditions of our planet are probably quite rare according to Brian Cox. Why would anyone ‘intelligent life’ want to come here or have the technology to do so….. unless, drum roll….. from parallel universes.

    • The problem is that Brian Cox is actually …… an ALIEN! Now, I know what you’re going to say………!

  18. General Haim Eshed is selling a book. Shame the Galactic Federation can’t help out with the vaccine roll out yet have averted nuclear apocalypses. Maybe it was them who swooped in on Saddam’s WMDs and that’s why we could never find them.

    Seriously though it is possible that aliens exist but only pictures I ever see are so grainy it could be anything!

  19. The mongs that claim that ‘alien beings’ with technology far more advanced than anything we’ve got even now, came down here thousands of years ago, built the pyramids for no reason whatsoever, and then promptly fucked off, never to be seen again?

    Yeah, them fucking cunts.

    • They probably came here on holiday for a change, the kids built some ‘sandcastles’ then they fucked off saying they wouldn’t bother again.

    • They were intergalactic builders and were on their way home from a big job and had a load of bricks left so popped down to Egypt and asked Pharaoh if he fancied a cheap job doing ….. makes sense. 😂

    • The aliens haven’t been so ambitious in recent centuries. Crop circles seem to be about the extent of their antics nowadays.

  20. Any aliens landing here would be subject to immediate Tier 4 / Lockdown rules and butt probing would be be banned unless done with a “substantial meal”

    I think the have abducted Boris and replaced his head with a cabbage.

  21. I assume our Alien Overlords look down upon as an amusement,like a fucked up Alton Towers.
    Then again,the cunts might not exist at all.
    So fuck em.

    • Edit :
      Yes Alton Towers is fucked up at the best of times.
      No saucer types required.

  22. If there are any space aliens in the House of Commons their leader must be Gove surely? Just take a look at the weird cunt.

  23. Daleks are ace. Vicious cunts who have a sucker that can crush a skull, and a death ray that disintegrates internal organs.

    Well, at least they were ace. Now bastardised and tainted by the BBC and their Femstapo woke drivel. The ‘new’ Dalek for the Whittakunt era looks like an anorexic dustbin, obviously re-designed by some woman. Even the Parking Stan Lee Dalek off Spike’s Q was better than this load of shite.

  24. Another horrible 90s craze was aliens and UFOs. This crap was everywhere back then, mainly thanks to that X-Files series. I used to go into Smiths and there would be rows of magazines on this paranormal and UFO shite and crap ‘sci-fi’ publications like SFX and Starlog. To be fair, the programme itself was pretty good in its heyday, but it attracted bellends and saddos by the sack full. Think Trekkies or Whovians (i.e: cunts).

    I recall Jonafan Woss’s pig ugly missus cashing in on it every five minutes for some bizarre reason. I just liked having a five knuckle shuffle to Agent Scully.

  25. Am always reminded of Carl Sagan’s rather excellent “Cosmos” tv series from the early 1980s, and he would often quote Drake’s Equation, when it came to theorizing about how many civilizations are out there in the universe

    N = R∗ x fp x ne x fl x fi x fc x L

    N = the number of civilizations in our galaxy with which communication might be possible

    and

    R∗ = the average rate of star formation in our galaxy
    fp = the fraction of those stars that have planets
    ne = the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets
    fl = the fraction of planets that could support life that actually develop life at some point
    fi = the fraction of planets with life that actually go on to develop intelligent life (civilizations)
    fc = the fraction of civilizations that develop a technology that releases detectable signs of their existence into space
    L = the length of time for which such civilizations release detectable signals into space

  26. To be honest, why would an advanced civilisation want to visit this shit pit?? Unless they wanted a laugh?

    • Course theres life on other planets.
      Ever the eggheads and maths Poindexters say so.
      And they can stay there.
      Im as predjudiced against these green little whopper heads as I am against Ali in his pyjamas.
      Get in your saucer an fuck off.

      • 😂 😂 😂 Genuine lol.
        “I m as predjudiced against these green little whopper heads as I am against Ali in his pyjamas.
        Get in your saucer an fuck off”

  27. You guys know shit about the world you live on. It’s flat, there’s a big dome over it and nothing exists outside it.

    Aliens for fuck sake, some people will buy any fruitcake theory.

  29. Aliens do exist and evidence of them living amongst us in plain sight.
    Even on IsAC:

    Black & White Cunt and his incessant anal probing, with his tongue😳

  30. Imagine the fuss those BLM baboons would cause if they were usurped by aliens?
    ALM instead of BLM? It would be good just to see libfuck heads explode.

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