Ufologists

Bit of an unusual one here. Ufologists. Thanks to my Asperger suffering nephew, I’ve had to endure SIX fucking hours of documentaries that he’d recorded on the subject of UFO’s and aliens. Now, I do believe that there is intelligent life on other planets. It’s mathematically impossible (improbable surely? – NA) that Earth is the only inhabited planet. But I don’t believe for one second that other civilisations are coming here with the frequency that the fucknuts I’ve just had to watch reckon they are.

I certainly don’t believe that the US Air Force has hangars full of alien spacecraft that just happened to fall out of the sky. Are you seriously going to tell me that an advanced alien race can create something capable of crossing the vast depths of space, but can’t fly in a planetary atmosphere, especially when its raining? Seriously, to listen to some of these people, they are literally crashing all the time. Bollocks!

And then there are the tales of abductions and medical examinations. A scientist on one of these documentaries said that any civilisation capable of travelling from their world to ours would have to be at least a thousand years ahead of us technologically. If that’s the case, then surely they have the means of carrying out a medical exam from orbit? Or, maybe, aliens are just dicks.

Now we have the former head of Israeli Space Security, General Haim Eshed, claiming that a few decades ago, a ‘Galactic Federation’ contacted the US and Israeli governments and made a pact with them. They want to help us and give us at least some of their technology. But not yet. They want to remain hidden from the wider human populace, because we’re not ready. In that case, why bother contacting anyone on Earth? Oh yes, they also have a base on Mars. Eshed also claimed that they had to intervene, because Trump wanted to announce their existence to the world. And yet they did fuck all when Eshed did the same. Picky fuckers, this Federation, aren’t they?

Some of these potty fuckers have even formed a religion around UFO’s, how demented is that?

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

82 thoughts on “Ufologists

  1. Doesn’t the Pied piper of morons, David Icke tell his dribbling followers that the moon is a space ship?
    Cunt.

    • He is by far not the only one to suggest this.
      But unfortunately all the other theorists get pigeon holed when icke gets involved.

  2. My fellow Cuntologists, allow me to introduce to you the insanest jellybrain on the interweb. Here`s a link to his book (three 1-star reviews) with irrefutable proof that aliens have indeed visited the Earth …
    https://www.amazon.co.uk/ALIEN-Mysteries-Solved-William-Swithin-ebook/dp/B006OW2GBO
    And here`s a link to his latest video where he rants about NASA not actually landing anyone on the moon (you`ll find the rest of his raging meltdowns there as well). Seriously, uncork a beer, take a deep swig, sit back and laugh your scrotum off at this utterly deluded fuckwit …
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYZQL5_7jIk

  3. Is it not strange that in this age of smart phones when everyone has a video camera at hand there are no still no convincing films of UFOs? Or ghosts for that matter.

    The universe is 46 billion light years across so any civilisations are likely to be well spread out and would need to travel at ridiculous speeds to reach each other. To all intents and purposes we are probably alone.

    Either that or all the other life-supporting planets are also in lockdown:)

  4. There’s batrillionsquillionzillion planets out there. Of course other fucking life exists. But we throw ours away if we yearningly search for it, rather than wait for it to come to us.

  5. It wouldn’t surprise me if aliens have landed on Earth, took one look around and said ‘Let’s fuck off from this loony bin”…..in alien talk obviously.

  6. 10 million light years to stick a probe up some weird geezers arse. Not my idea of a super advanced society. Hey Zorge let’s go halfway across the universe for a really good session of pervery with them wackos in Peterborough. Well if the alien bastards think they are going to practice their intergalactic shit in my neck of the woods well the dogs and I have tinfoil hats access to many weapons and I no longer have to report to the local police station

  7. It’s Flying
    I don’t know what it is.

    The very definition of an Unidentified Flying Object

    I’m an Idon’tknowwhatthefuckitisologist. A claim to be proud of!

    Definitely galactic sized cunts

  8. There could be many things beyond our human understanding.

    I’m not into aliens or UFOs but who knows there could be creatures waiting to communicate with us, or not if they think we’re unable to understand. It could be beyond the physical.

  9. I have to admit that I misread the nom as “Urologists”.
    They like to finger your bum using the excuse that they are checking your prostate.

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