A quick Le Cunting for the French counting system.
Who the fuck came up with all this nonsense!? I did a bit of Francais at school and I’m sure we’ve all picked up some over the years, everybody knows how to say “Please may I have two beers“ and “My cheese trousers are on the table”, but croist, can any self-respecting Englishman order 79 beers or 87 pairs of cheese trousers!? No, because their numbers are fucking retarded.
They literally have no separate words for seventy, or eighty, or even ninety for that matter.
Here’s an example of what might occur in a Francais maths class:
Teacher: “Ok, can anyone tell me what 60 plus 10 is?”
Little Louis: “Sixty-ten Madame!
Teacher: Bien joué Louis! Now, what’s 20 times 4?”
Little Louis: “Four-twenties.”
Teacher: Parfait! Last one. What’s 4 times 20 plus 10 plus 9?”
Little Louis: Four-twenties ten nine, Madame!
Teacher: Bravo Louis!
It’s no wonder we don’t get on with this lot is it?
Nominated by: Insignificunt
Sleepy Jo Biden, Suckdic Khunt, Wee Jimmy Krankunt-all big fans of the french counting (Cunting) system.
Probably.
“Eye up Garrrrson. Ji requiremnon me petit-dinneerje, seal vuus plate. Et deux-bier-presssssss-it-on. Mercy!!!”
11
Emmanuel Macron fait une pipe a Justin Trudeau. Son grandmere/femme regarde. Ils sont déviantes.
12
I managed to score 4% in my compulsory French exam at school. Such was my contempt for what passes as a language in France.
Mainly because of crap like their counting system and trying to decide whether a table / chair etc was male or female.
17
They also have a letter which is never pronounced – h. What’s the point of that? Why not simply have 25 letters? Lazy, smelly, AND daft.
12
Nothing smellier than a Frenchman’s breath, CM.
We are probably lucky they don’t use the ‘h’ or the stench would be enough to make maggot gag.
4
Not dissimilar to Maori. There are words for the numbers 1 to 10, but thereafter it becomes 1 ten and 1, 1 ten and 2 etc. as there are no words for 11 and upwards. One hundred has its own word but then the process starts all over again. It takes a fair bit of working out quite what the actual fucking number is at times.
10
I learnt the Maori alphabet when I lived in NZ. It is …
D B A
as in DB, eh? For the non-Kiwis on ISAC, DB is a disgusting beer brewed in NZ and the Maoris have the habit of putting “eh” at the end of most sentences.
4
I only order one beer at a time so the French mess can be avoided.
Just be careful.
7
You’ve never felt the urge to order 79 beers at once, as per the nom? Pfft…..you haven’t lived!
Good evening Unkle
6
Being Scottish and asking for ‘twa beers” results in receiving trois beers but being Scottish, this is no problem.
8
You can’t avoid the mess when you order several canisters of gas for your four (oven), can you Terry?
1
Luckily it’s not French or I’d be in a right mess.
3
Just shout harder at the Fuckers and remind them that if it wasn’t for the English they’d all be talking Kraut.
17
PS…Most French Males are Gay…the only reason that the nation doesn’t die out is because most French Females are so hairy and masculine-looking that The Gays,after a bellyful of their shite wine, occasionally slip into the “wrong” hole.
De Gaulle was a botty-basher.
21
Typical French people probably believe their numbering system has ooh, la, la, flair and chic. That is the French for you, being different for different’s sake.
These cunts built tanks for WW2 fitted with reverse gears only for retreating and gun turrets that fired live French bread batons instead of rounds.
I hate the French.
Le grand fuck off d’accord.
17
Don’t let them fool you.
They can count EU subsidiaries and fish caught in British waters like their Carol Vorderman.
Funny because they have 15 words for surrender?
17
It’s a little known fact that the French national flag is two white stripes on a white background.
12
Or…
What are the three colours on the French flag?
White, white and white.
1
I would love to organise a ‘design a new French flag’ competition for the kids of proud Brexiteers and state that any submissions will get bonus points for depicting the 2nd Crusades, Crécy, Azincourt, Waterloo, 1914, 1940, Mers-el-Kébir, the Maginot line, Vietnam, generally bending over and taking it from Germany and generally advancing in the opposite direction. 😁
£20 cash prize.
All submissions will be send on to the French embassy for judging.
4
I seriously have no idea what this is all about but the Frenchies, and any other w*gs can do what they like in their own country, none of my fucking business. It’s when they come over here and start telling me what to do I get the fucking hump.
They can base their mathematical systems on the hairs on their arses for all I care, nothing to do with this cunt.
18
Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning, Freddie? lol
8
Frenchies is it?
Name one good thing that came out of France?
No, me neither – their national symbol is a chicken and they are so lazy they havent even got round to attaching cables to that pylon yet – lazy workshy sods!
How many Gallic pond robbers does it take to defend Paris? No idea – they”ve never fkin tried! 😀
Used to know one brave Frenchman though – he was a naked lion tamer!
Claude Balls..
The only time any Englishman should visit France is with a longbow.
(Francoise Pascal, from “Mind your Language” rings a huge bell! – DA
https://external-preview.redd.it/9kxeAGhkGnqeMpN3F7Ap_ieNA6dIhw8-eov3mxedB1g.jpg?auto=webp&s=e063ecc1465b1aaf8310f45a26bc9e71f2ea9b50)
10
I learnt everything I know about the french from Kenny Everetts Marcel wave.
Wine swilling, smoking jacket wearing, greasy types.
And since spent the next forty years ignoring them.
12
What a jolly nice young lady! Methinks I shall buy Miss busty a beret – I have a wholly ungentlemanly idea!
Right, time for le Grande bicycle ride – I shall drape some onions over the bars and ride backwards! 😀👍
4
You know I like her admin, my other half is fluent in french but that’s where any likeness to Miss Pascal ends sadly.
6
Le cunts le lotevem
6
The Eiffel Tower was meant to be a temporary structure built for the 1889 World’s Fair. But the cunts were too lazy to take it down…..too busy with long boozy lunches, smoking Gauloises and letting the Krauts run all over them. We kicked their arses countless times and then saved them in 2 World Wars. They can never forgive us for our innate superiority. Fuck Macron, fuck De Gualle and fuck the French!
18
A wholly unnecessary Nation of people. Surplus to any requirement !
4
So that’s why the French woman in my brothel has been underpaying me all these years. I shall have to take her with me on holiday, which can be bonus I have been promising her the last 3 years.
5
Good morning and go fuck yourselves. 😁
9
Well been on this miserable rock in space for nearly 65 years and never knew the cunts only had numbers up to 69!!!! Then had to make them up. Every day is a school day. I hated french with a vengeance.
7
This cunting is very harsh. The French have but one purpose and one purpose alone. Purpose one, preparing to field for England v Germany and serving as a warmup match for the Germans prior to the big match v England that the Germans will inevitably lose.
No need to count when you’re always knocked out cold in there first round.
7
Good evening B&W. Get with the times you slow cunt 😉
4
D’oh! Posted in the wrong place. Stupid colonial cunt that I am.
4
First nom and published, a proud day! Can I put the letters ‘Cnt’ after my name on my email signatures or something?
7
From now on when someone calls you a cunt you may respond.
“Oi, that’s Mr Cunt to you!”
4
Haw heehaw heehaw! Snail eating wankers…
5
I think it was MNC who said on here last year sometime, “snails and frogs legs, basically get all their food from ponds” I’ve used this as an insult many times since 😂
7
Nous, les chattes françaises, sommes des singes d’abandon sans rapport avec le fromage. On mange de la merde.
6
Vous etes Gerard Depardieu. Je prends cinq euros.
4
voici votre prix monsieur
0
Would you fuck me Brigitte Bardot? I’d fuck me, I’d fuck me sooooo hard.
It puts the lotion all over my baguette, or it gets the hose again.
5
An exception to the general rule that Johnnie Frenchman is a rotter, in my view:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9ByRANbXDs&feature=emb_logo
1
At least in Switzerland, they had septante for 70, and huitante for 80. Think the variants existed more or less side by side.
Belgium might be the same…
1
And ‘nonante’ for 90.
1
B&WC@ Watch out for those shifty French hoes – they may be Kenny Everett in disguise! – turn the malodorous mares upsde down, shake vigorously and watch all those filched Francs fall out of their filthy corsets!
And close that bleedin’ tunnel ‘fore we all get rabies!
Alf Garnett had those fkers sussed!
4
Definitely deserve the nuke for that.
1
Do we have any prospect of going back to lbs and pints instead of this ridiculous metric bollocks?
3
Reeves and Mortimer did good sketches about farting Frenchmen. La Rue Crouton??
Looked just like Sartre, in shabby raincoat.
2
Years ago there was a lovely French girl where I worked, I would have counted backward, forwards, sideways and upside down in any language for the chance to fuck her 😂
Other than that the French are cunts but the country is very nice 👍
1
There’s a lot of negativity on this thread. I suspect some of you did not enjoy language lessons at school.
I shall be forwarding this discussion to my colleagues in the French department and will ask Mr Dark Key Cunt of the Physics department to do likewise.
FYI – Normandy is great. My wife and I have discussed retiring to Bayeux many times. Great food, booze and history. What’s not to like?
3
It´s easier in Switzerland where you can use septante, huitante and nonante for 70, 80 and 90. The irony is that the French think the Swiss are slow-witted yokels. That doesn´t stop them from having clandestine Swiss bank accounts to keep their money out of the hands of le taxman. And who gains at the end of the day? That´s right – the yokels who use the French money for their own ends and as a weapon to blackmail any French political or business leader whose Swiss bank account might turn out to be an embarrassment should its existence be made public.
2