Spitting Sportsmen

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Spitting footballers / golfers / cricketers – I’m sick of seeing these dirty bastards continually gobbing on the grass. We’re in the middle of a pandemic yet they allow these thick cunts to spread disease and nothings ever done about it. You actually get coppers at these events with no crowds but fuck all is ever done. Too busy fining an old dear for taking a breather on a park bench? I wouldn’t fine them, moneys no object to them, I’d take points, lower their scores. I never gobbed on the grass when I played sport, why the fuck do they have to do it? Especially the modern day footballers, absolute thick as shit scrubbers. What makes me laugh is when one of the players accuses an opponent of spitting at him whilst there’s 4 pints of gob on the pitch already. Stupid fucking cunts.

(Check out this news story about footballers, spitting and swine ‘flu from 2009. You read that correctly – 2009! – NA)

Nominated by: Bob Frapples

40 thoughts on “Spitting Sportsmen”

  1. Spitting and getting the snot aaaaht your nose onto the pitch is part and parcel of the beautiful game. Gary Linekunt however shitting in the pitch brought the game into disrepute. The cunt.

    • That was a disgrace B&W, no wonder he was free to goal hang all the time as no fucker wanted to mark him. At least St Gary wasn’t cleaning the earwax out of his massive lugholes on the pitch.

      • Exactly LL, I bet he threatened the keepers with shitting in their penalty area if they didn’t let him score.

    • I don’t play football, but I do ride a bike in Canadian winters.
      On a cold morning, I probably shoot off about a dozen snot rockets on my ride to work (about 5 miles) and likewise on the way home.
      I think they freeze quickly enough not to be dangerous.
      Some cunt needs to do a study.

  2. If that’s Kyle Walker you wouldn’t want to be near his humongous goz in the picture.

    I think he tested positive for the bat flu and was told off for having parties with brasses.

    Imagine the shite you could catch off the dirty cunt, gozzing all over the shop?

  3. I could spit over some of those lingerie football players and ladies beach volleyball players too, spit, dribble and shoot.

    I’ll get my coat, well more of a mac really.

  4. The Torygraph wanted to charge me £2 to read the article kindly provided by NA but here’s one for free:

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1223519/Footballers-warned-stop-spitting-matches-prevent-spread-swine-flu.html

    Quote: “Footballers, like the rest of us, wouldn’t spit indoors so they shouldn’t do it on the football pitch.”

    WRONG! I spit all the time indoors – sometimes into the shitter, sometimes in the sink, sometimes into tissues which then go in the wastepaper bins. Occasionally in the street if I think no-one’s looking. 😆

    • You must be part Chinese those buggers spit all the time.
      The Japanese had the right answer when they took over Hong Kong, Christmas 1941. They put notices up “No Spitting In Public Places”. The Chinese ignored it and on Boxing Day a Jap platoon was sent out on the double for a patrol around Hong Kong. The lieutenant’s orders also said see if you can do something about the spitting. First bloke he saw spitting he called him over and asked if he had seen the notices, then told him to get on his knees and apologise to the Japanese Emperor. Whilst the bloke was doing this the officer took out his sword and removed his head. He did it another half-a -dozen or so times before he got back to base. Result no more spitting until the British returned in 1945 and took a far more lenient attitude.
      I went to a boarding school in the late ’60s and we were banned from spitting on the playing fields. They had caning back then so you did it at your own risk.

  5. If things really are as bad as we were being told, these fuckers shouldn’t be playing anyway. Clubs, journalists, tv & radio crews and all sorts of other hangers on zig zagging across the country just to avoid giving sky and BT some money back. And our illustrious leaders condone it. Good for morale, keeping spirits up blah blah blah.
    Also, how come they’ve all got sharp haircuts when most of us are beginning to look like Bob Geldof?
    Double standards? Perish the thought.

    • Fucking right plus they’re hugging and kissing each other bunch of wankers and cunts.
      Love this site.

  6. When I smoked if I gozzed theyd bounce.
    Like that ghost on Ghostbusters or something.
    Doubt id do it if on telly or if I was a professional sportsman?

    But if you want to offend a social worker type
    Lefty student
    Scent of lavender
    Or ducky darling
    Either gozz out a big lunger or better still,
    Casually put a finger to one nostril and expel a big snotter😁
    Theyll wilt like daffodils.

    Maybe grin and say ‘married luv?’

  7. Ducking fisgusting, MNC! How dare you defoul England’s clean and pleasant land.

    You should be careful. It might have the opposite effect and attract the ladies instead repulse them. 😀

  8. Evening Spoons!
    Hope your in good health?
    Dont worry, I go back later and scoop it in a donation envelope for War on Want.😁
    Don’t let little mtembe say I never gave to charity….

    • You wicked man, MNC! 😀

      All is well. Thanks. 🙂 Lately, this lockdown situation I lose track of what day it is, though.
      You well? 🙂

      Have you been visited by Headless Bethan or the deaded Derek Acorahh lately? I wonder what their take on covid and spitting would be. Dog bless them. 🙂

      • Good thank you Spoons.
        Scouse Derek and Bethan?
        Oh their in fine Spirits.
        👻👻

    • Very difficult to run for 90+ minutes as a footballer and not spit out excess mucus !

      Ps, Manchester United are the gentleman of English Premier League football B&WC, whereas Liverpool are the dirty scoundrels 🧐 😷

    • He’s from Liverpool so I don’t see how anyone could expect anything else. Sadly, because he is from a third world city he got his pundit job back 😷

      • He wasn’t charged for the incident and he avoided being fined. Just a pathetic apology which due tomorrow the accent most couldn’t even understand.

        At the time Sky said the 40-year-old will “get the help he needs to guarantee something like this never happens again”.That translated to being suspended until the end of the season (presumably on full pay) and seemingly fuck all else.

        Resorted to spitting at an innocent 14 year old gir for banter made by her father that he simply wasn’t able to take.

        What a big man and inspiration to young and aspiring players up and down the country.

        Lowlife, selfish Scouse cunt.

        Used to love top tier football, now cannot stand it because of the players, clubs and organisations that put themselves above everything and everyone else.

      • At the time it was suggested that he wasn’t spitting at anyone, just a scouser asking for directions.
        The phlegm gargling cunt….

      • With you 100% Willie. He is simply a dirty animal from Liverpool, end of. The only reason he was not charged with any offence, perhaps threatening behaviour or common assault is because of the Hillsborough stigma and the cowardly police trying to tread softly!

        I did get one laugh out of it though, I sent Sky an email asking if they would add subtitles to his apology because I couldn’t understand a word he was saying. Never even got a reply 🧐

  12. The international game of kick ball is the biggest Cunt of all Sports.
    I preferred a switch to randomly cutting Lewis Hamilton break lines and watching his car take out 200 spectators.
    Now that’s worth a yearly subscription.

  13. Thank Dog Matt Hancock isn’t a footballer. Silly twat would be wanking onto the pitch.

  14. Documentary starting on BBC2 called downfall, that will be about Hitler then thinks I, no it’s about Trump, nothing like drawing a parallel without saying it directly.

  15. Recall a classic football clip from the ’70s featuring a German v Dutch grudge match. One of the krauts sported a cunt cut perm which naturally fascinated our Orange friends who spent the rest of the match secretly gobbing on the barnet. Krauto never sussed and finished the match dripping in saliva. Hilarious commentary. Tried to find it on YouTube but no go. Got it in your archive Norman?

      • A former Dutch work colleague once told me that the biggest insult he ever received was when someone mistook him for being a German.

      • You can fuck off with your links Sir Limply. I made the mistake of clicking on the one you posted about Belgian beer early this morning with a mild to mid range hangover and got my fucking retinas burned out with what can only be described as one of the most atrocious webpage background colour schemes in the history of the internet. Whoever chose that needs fucking curb stomping! 🥾

        No offence old bean.

      • Yes remember him walking off and the camera zoomed into the greeny in his perm. Dirty bastard, cannot stand gobbing. I was on The Damned’s speaker stack back in 77 and watched it all flying through the lights, YUK.

    • Funny remember it in B/W and a lot more gobbing on the Kraut and the camera staying on it. Hey ho.

  16. Ipswich Town Football Club once riding high in the top flight of English soccer and Europe, currently 9th in Division 1 (old Division 3).

    After yet another home defeat and only one shot on target in the 90 minutes, current manager Paul Lambert described the team effort as “a really good performance””.

    Time for Lambert to be told to fuck off we think.

    • He got a severe cunting from my mother on Skype yesterday, William.

      Paul Lambert is a total cunt, a miserable Scottish bastard and an ineffectual wanker. Why the fuck was he given a five year contract extension?

      Bring back George Burley.

    • That is a different Niall Furguson to the shagger at Imperial college. Still Sleepy Joe signed 17 executive orders but cannot remember what they were.

  18. If you can get a £80 fine for spitting on London streets then there should be a comparison on pitch. Blo2ing your nose on an opponent is perfectly acceptable.

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