I’m aware that a lot of you wholesome Cunters won’t have heard of this Bellend but believe me when I say Chapman is a Cunt Extraordinaire..a Cunt’s Cunt…dare I even compare him to The King of Cunts…James “FatGut” Corden?,,,,yes,yes I do.
Chapman is the betting “expert” on ITV Racing…the only thing that the loudmouth is actually an expert in is being a fucking Prick. He has blatantly ripped off the “John McCricick ( he was a wanker too…but at least he’s now a dead wanker) act”…this involves trying to make himself into a “character”. He does this by putting on a stupid voice while he screams his “controversial” views over the top of trainers and jockeys who know more about racing than this Cunt could learn (if he ever shut his fucking trap long enough to listen) in a thousand years…he knows better and in ChapmanWorld being a boorish Gobshite trumps experience
and knowledge.
Even his fellow commentators appear to detest the clown and appear to enjoy winding the dolt up and seeing him scream like a spoiled toddler.
* Chapman….I know you’re the type of arrogant Spunkbobble who’ll regularly “Google” his own name…I hope you read this before getting kicked in the bollocks by every owner,trainer,jockey,stable-lad,race-goer,betting-shop punter,television viewer and fucking racehorse in the Country. EVERYONE HATES YOU, CHAPMAN…FUCK OFF.
Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler
I have no knowledge about this. He looks a kwar. Is he a Kwar?
6
I suspect the header photo was taken when Chapman was relaxing following a session in the Broom-Cupboard with Philip Scofield…after they’d both been bummed by Dame Elton.
(Must throw in a quick “Allegedly”, lol – DA)
14
Dick, I am a tad confused as to the exact role of Dame Elton, is he the bummer or the bumee?
Just curious, no more than that.
11
The Dame is ‘bumee’ by preference (known as a böttom) then switches to become ‘bummer’ ie ‘top’
1
So a bandit? What are your views on him being a giver or taker. Does he bite the pillow? Im just trying to get an all round view of the man.
6
GG….Dame Elton is always the bummer…never the bumee. Elton stopped “taking” after the dreadful “Squashed Gerbils” episode at a Barrymore pool-party…Elton is,above all, an animal-lover.
10
SC….I’m now getting worried that this nom. is heading the way of several of my past contributions….removed for “legal reasons”
LOL
8
I take it you don’t especially care for this bloke…
2
Looks like a kwar. Poses like a kwar. Probably a kwar.
7
Bertie’s a kwar. Let’s ask Bertie if Chapman’s a kwar….
7
I should probably clear up….Matt Chapman,to the best of my knowledge,is MOST CERTAINLY NOT one of The Gays…perhaps.
6
So he Pushes up mud without a barrow? A shirt lifter possibly?
6
Horse racing, the sport of kings. No it’s not, it’s the sport of pikies. Just an excuse to rob punters and make them feel sophisticated whilst being fleeced.
Horse racing is the original seedy excuse for gambling, have you seen the cunts that go to the races? Aintree ladies day? An excuse for the shambling dross to try and wear something apart from trackies and trainees for the day.
The Queen loves it, one third German two thirds pikey. A night at the dogs is no different.
16
He certainly looks like a tailgunner and probably the type that Schofield and Elton Loosehoop would (together) be all over like dogs on a hot chip.
Happy to endorse this cunting 100%, although I have no knowledge of this rather seedy looking individual.
9
He looks like a closet Gaylord.
8
He shot John Lennon.
8
Good cunting. He does not look like the type of geezer you would rely on for a tip. Whatever happened to Flash Harry?
6
You could probably drop a watermelon in his arse and it wouldn’t touch the sides.
8
Never heard of this Man – but if Sir Fiddler says he is a cunt that’ll do for me! 😃👍
Never been to the races – I think if I saw some evil piece of shit whipping a horse I would have hold of them and flay their fucking skin off with it.
And, me being a Lord of the realm (no jest – that is absolutely true – tax purposes) – surely they should lay on a chauffer driven car to the bit where the rich types go – I would be at those haughty upper class fillies like a politician on a free meal!
9
Me neither!
In terms of horse racing I was brought up on Brough Scott, Peter O’Sullivan and Julian Wilson. Knew their stuff, and what they did in their private lives were up to them.
10
Well if the above spurious comments about Matt’s “manliness” don’t get us into bother….nothing will.
8
Perhaps we could broaden our thoughts out of the gutter and on to other so-called t,v. (television not transexual) “expert” sports pundits…..I wonder if Mark Lawrenson takes it up the wrong ‘un?
5
Take it thats the fruity gentleman above?
He argues with Jockeys?
Theyll put a curse on him no fear!
Jockeys are irish midgets that go back to the old celtic times,
They were never put in the wickerman (fell through the gaps) and were known for their ferocity, savaging many a foe upto the thigh.
Hey Dick, thats the same photo you carry in your wallet?
You said he was your nephew?
9
My nom. has been mercilessly hijacked by people who seem obsessed with The Gayness (and Dark-Keys,probably).
It’s a fucking disgrace…
11
Trampled to death by the runners at the Grand National seems fitting.
An act of mercy afore it dies of The AIDS.
I’d wager.
6
He looks like the perfect poster boy for the “A fool and his money are soon parted”phrase.
3
As those before me I have not a clue as to who the above gent is – however if you’d asked me on first look is it a gay homosexual faggot or not I’d go with the former ( allegedly)
2
Side note
Fat Alex Salmond gives evidence on 19/1 to the enquiry looking into the £500,000 pissed up against the wall by krankie and company to “ fit him up”
Nicola krankie the following week
Front seats and popcorn
6
Ah, I have such fond memories of when my dad used to take me ‘down the bookies’ in the 80s, dump me outside the William Hill shop and tell me I shouldn’t look through the majolica-strip curtains, so I’d just go and play by myself by the old canal opposite.
3
Play by or with? (Sorry. Been on the sauce).
2
It stopped when I was around 11, so not quite ‘with’ yet. Input that into your sauce-o-meter whichever way it needs.
2
Lord Fiddler, you’ve been on fucking form recently. Once more, I doff my hat. 😉
3
I used to quite like Channel 4 Morning Line. McCririck was indeed a tool but more of the cartoon variety. If you watched carefully, in his quieter moments, he was a perceptive and reflective journalist and delivered a superb newspaper summary.
Jim McGrath a decent source of tips; Francome fully deserving of his Greatest Jockey insights and Thommo holding it all together. You’d even get Posh totty like Leslie Graham although I admit that Francesca Cumani is the most sizzling posh bird ever to front the gee-gees on TV. 😍
2
Never heard of him. Still looks a shifty cunt.
1
Francesca Cumani is on tv a lot here in Australia for the big meetings,sexy as wow. This prick would not be allowed to pick up the horse shit at the track ,let alone try to pick a winner for the punters.
2
I love watching Horse Racing on the box but don’t watch much of ITV’s output because of this monumental bellend.
When the Cheltenham festival comes around he usually gives his banker of the week which he screams can’t get beat, nailed on cert. The price will be odds on and it will lose cos he’s a shit tipster.
Francesca Cumani is also crap at tipping but she’s got nice tits so all is forgiven.
A worthy cunting
2
Vat of boiling piss followed by oven for this cunt
1
The one time Chapman behaved like an adult was the interview with the late Henry Cecil ( horse trainer to you that no fook all about the great sport of skulduggery ) . Chapman was actually really good. It could have launched him into another level but being the wanker he comes across as he couldn’t grasp the thick of it.
3