John Dillermand

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John Dillermand is a cunt, isn’t he.

Your child hits the TV knob and watches a new programme from Denmark called John Dillermand. It’s a crazy, ding-dong programme about a creepy Hercules Poirot lookalikey winkle who resembles a hungover pædo and whose long, thin, red & white striped penis keeps extending from out of his red & white striped dress.

The Flumps, it ain’t.

When you’re a kid you should be chewing on a sausage, riding on your chopper or at the very least you should be watching Peppa Pig waving a ham doll or a pork sword. You should be drawing a silly doodle or practising your mouth organ.

The episode I watched had him standing in his garden and unscrewing an oil can to pour on his barbecue with his pee-pee which unravels like an Inspector Gadget limb.

This obvious controversy could give you the willies but it just gets on my wick.

Ring the bells’ end for this cheap bollocks.

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

(More here – DA https://www.euronews.com/2021/01/07/john-dillermand-danish-children-s-tv-show-gets-mixed-reviews-of-protagonist-with-a-giant-p)

and seconded by Lock, stock & two smoking cunts 

I’d like to nominate Danish Broadcaster ‘DR’.

“Why”? I hear you ask. Well, because they have released a children’s show aimed at 4-8yr olds about a man (John Dillermand) who cannot control his penis!

The mind boggles at who considered this a good idea (for anyone, let alone nippers).

Link below from (of all places) The Guardian. Other news outlets are available if the Guardian raises your blood pressure above boiling point!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jan/06/john-dillermand-denmark-launches-childrens-tv-show-man-giant-penis

74 thoughts on “John Dillermand”

  2. I have fucking seen it all now.

    Diller in Danish is ‘penis’. The name of the show in English is John Penisman.

    On reading articles about it, it’s really upset the librards as they see it as ‘patriachal’ lol. That a bloke has this strong penis with a mind of its own.

    Personally, I think it’s a bit much to have a kiddies’ show about a bloke with a long, magical cock, but that’s just me.

    Why do libtards always get the victims wrong. The victims aren’t the grown, bearded, man-hating Greenham Common lezzas. The victims are the kids, you insufferable twats.

    Still, how fucking mental is this show?

  3. Psychedelic kids tv for those not fucked up enough already.

    Wonder whether Lego will endorse this nonsense?

  4. It could be worse, Dillermand could have been a homosexualist sharing a creme egg with his partner. Imagine if your kids saw something like that! Oh, wait….

    • At least put a decent cock on the fucker.

      The liberals might have more of a case – if he had a raging , veiny , thick , pulsating 12” throbber , with a purple knob the size of a tennis ball.

  5. So with the woke-athon glasto being cancelled this year looks like the cultural enrichment will be the Bank Holiday stab fest Notting Hil carnivore

    • MNC, you could actually see these being sold.

      Like a dodgy as fuck version of Stretch Armstrong.

      The peeeeedos will love seeing the kiddies pulling on nobs in Toys-r-us. I bet the POTUS (Paaaeedophile of the United States) will pay a visit to Denmark if they make a toy version.

      You can see the cunts making them too. Jesus wept. I was happy with me Evil Knievel. World has gone mental.

      • Sad but true Cuntybollocks.
        Whatever you do dont visit the theme park!!
        Riding the rollercoaster has a more sinister connation!!
        Yikes!!

        *Evel Kneivel! One of my childhood heroes!😀👍
        Responsible for millions of kids getting hurt trying to do ‘stunts’!
        Can still feel the gravel burn and hear the sound of teeth hitting tarmac…

      • I’ve wrapped red and white electrical tape around my knob already.
        Just waiting for lockdown restrictions to lift a bit.

  7. Is this a fucking April fools gone wrong.. what the fucking fuck fuck is going on..the creator and cunts responsible what fucking preferably by a giant fucking Giraffe.

      • Pity he doesn’t live in England, with all this rain my gutters need cleaning out 😔

        Ps, good evening bad lieutenant 🙄

  9. Anyone connected with the production of this show should use their own stripey Dillermand and tie it to a couple of cinder blocks, then chuck themselves off a bridge. Fucking degenerates.

  10. As a speaker of fluent Danish and an honorary Dane, I can tell that you aren’t understanding this. It’s in their culture.

    ‘Dillermand’ is Danish for ‘willy’ a word that all Danish boys call their hampton. My kid included.

    The very polite version of this is ’tisseman’ (wee wee man), or ’tissekone’ (wee wee wife / woman) for little kids.

    The Danes aren’t hung up on body parts or body functions.
    Their kid’s TV shows are full of fart, piss, burp and turd jokes. Which actually makes them entertaining for adults too.

    If this disturbs you, please don’t move to Denmark.

    • Back in the 80s my parents came back with a little box of sweets (liqourice?) called Spunk. The box image resembled the same. So whats happening on their TV is of no surprise.

      • They still make them.

        The have a sweet brand called Bon Bon who make:

        School chalk
        Dog farts
        Duck food
        Big tits
        Dirty nappies.

        They even have their own theme park.

  11. This is Denmark though.

    ‘On April 21, 2015, Denmark’s legislature approved a motion that bans bestiality; the goal of the action is to combat animal-sex tourism. The ban, which comes into force on July 1, was passed by a 91-75 vote, with five abstentions.’

    From the above we can infer:

    It’s ok for Danish nationals to pork a pig or hump a horse but wrong when dirty foreigners do it.

    75 members of the legislature were happy with anyone from anywhere having sex with animals.

    5 of the cunts were unsure so abstained.

    In that context you can’t be surprised by the content of their kid programs.

    • A couple of things to note Sixdog.

      1. This is one of those weird old laws that was never repealed, because no sane person wants to shag animals.

      2. The only reason the law was still on the books in 2015 is because it would offend Muslims to remove it.

      It was the Danske Folkeparti (the Danish BNP) who finally got it removed to really piss off the Muslims.

      • I’m not sure that’s totally true OB. There were at the time Brothels in Denmark that catered for ‘animal lovers’.

        Every society or culture has its quirks and its share of deviants.

        ‘Germany legalised bestiality (zoophilia) in 1969, except when the animal suffered “significant harm”.’ I’ve not checked to see if this was to allow Angela’s wedding to go ahead…….

        I’d assume that countries that have outlawed it previously must of also had citizens that liked to indulge, if no one was doing it why bother to make it illegal. I worked with a Dane, great fella, but was obsessed with deviancy, not saying he practiced it but it was often a topic of conversation.

        The Danes may well have a more liberal attitude to sex and bodily functions which leads some of them to places we consider taboo.

      • For a country that has a yellow pages kind of deal for prostitutes, I have to say of all the services I have seen advertised, animals were not mentioned once.

        Try escort-side.dk. For evidence of this.

        Prostitution is seen as just another profession and I think even Danes would be horrified if they found out a neighbour was into beastiality.

        Even ugly lads have the right to get their rocks off occasionally.

    • Imagine being one of those five who didnt know if its ok to drain your spuds up a dogs harris?

      “Hard day at work luv?”

      “Hmmm, yes dear a ethical dilemma.
      Wheres Rover?”

      • More likely they were covering their arse on being called “Islamophobic” when the towelheads fancy a bit of goat diddling due to ‘cultural practices’.

      • Animal lover means something different in Denmark.

        “Fuck that girls ugly but her dog is soooo hot!”

        “I was just about to shoot my load in my wife’s pussy but then she came home and caught me.”

        Image Danes in the U.K. are disappointed by our idea of dogging.

    • Denmark being the world’s first country to commercially produce and distribute ‘see pee’, then took a heck of a long time to get round to banning it.

      The aptly-named ‘low countries’ are where it’s all at for the world’s elites with certain ahem, ‘tastes’. Namely this one, and then the ‘Benelux’ customs union (Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg). The first two of those coincidentally being major global centres of porn and, oh funnily enough, sex trafficking.

      So in a way, yes Mr Dillermand is literally ‘kid’s stuff’.

  13. Not exactly Bagpuss is it?
    Put the fucking lot of these weirdos reet in the oven.
    Then put Tom and Jerry on from 1937.

  14. Don’t wish to spoil it for you, but in one episode he uses his Willy as an extending lead to take his dog for a walk.
    His neighbours are all impressed and want him to take all their dogs for a walk together.
    Don’t know how it ended but I’m hoping the dogs all shot off in different directions, ripping his dick to pieces

      • Evening LL. I knew someone who had a dick this long.
        He ended up serving time for indecent exposure in Nottingham and Leicester and Derby.

      • Maybe not Mis but I know for a fact that you’ve tripped up old ladies when walking your dog in the Peak District!
        😀

      • Hehehe 😀
        Near you today Bertie,-Sandbach.
        Was bit worried last night as we had heavy snow, but was sunny when I got there.
        Must be the gulf stream?

      • Mis – Have you seen Warrington all over the news today with flooding?
        I’ve just taken off my scuba gear after rescuing my neighbour from her roof.
        😀

      • Evening Bertie, I suppose your elderly neighbour should be thankful it wasn’t John Dillermand with a lifebuoy tied to the end of his bellend.

      • LL. Oh she wasn’t old! 32 with an hour glass figure. She just couldn’t swim!
        I had to give a fireman’s lift and my hands might have strayed a little!
        😂

    • Because in real life, if a bloke offered to take dogs for a walk by attaching them to his nob, he’d have the whole neighborhood queueing up, and absolutely nobody would kick his teeth down his fucking throat.

      And I though the Magic Roundabout was mad.

  15. Channel 4 are producing a female equivalent of John Dillermand about a woman with a massive vagina that has a mind and a gravitational field of its own. Obviously, the starring role has been given to Katie Price.

    • “Captain, entire galaxies have been crushed due to the gravitational forces inside that fetid minge. We’re too close captain…8 million miles away…arrrghh…it’s pulling us in…I can see a giant mong trying to smash a lock on a fridge… we’re…too…..close….tell my wife I lov …(beeeeeeeeeeep…- message ends).

      • Katie Prices clown pocket is like the Death Star and her stench trench like the gulley leading to the exhaust port.
        Even a Jedi Master would be defeated by her diseased holiest of holy’s😢

      • Her cunt is so huge , it’s gravitational force simply absorbs lesser-endowed girls cunts wherever it goes.
        Watching Naked Attraction , it’s obvious that this is a serious issue – judging by the number of hairless , almost pre-teen slits these fuckers are displaying.
        Whatever happened to generously lipped , luxurious fuckers that you could get your whole face in?
        Katie Price – that’s what happened.

    • Breaking news: Peter Andre in fatal plane crash over the Middle East. They found his bits in Jordan.

    • I’ve never been able to control my penis. Danish tv can make me an offer but I’d have to insist on wearing a mask.

  17. Beats soppy shite like ‘Watch with Mother’.

    Meanwhile Bob Geldoff’s upset about Glastonbury being cancelled. 👍

  18. What a weird format for a kids show.
    Denmark the country is amazing though, top quality women, quality beer and nice pork. Copenhagen is a great place to visit and it’s the only place I’ve found that 7 out of 10 women make you stop and twist your head like you are some kind of Owl cunt.
    They also have a druggie oasis called Christiania where you can hang abaaaaaht and get high all day.
    What more could you want?

    • I was married to a Danish bird and lived there for 6 years B&W.

      Can you imagine the debauchery!?

      Actually, you probably can. 😁

      • I remember you giving me some tips OB before or whilst I was out there.
        Great place, high standard of living and I remember some people cleaning communal bins, apparently there is hardly any unemployment and it really is pleasant there. I could happily live there if I didn’t live in London. 👍🏽

      • Odin@
        I think your right, a cultural difference thing,
        Seeing as youve lived there your more informed to say.
        Seems pretty weird to our eyes,
        But doubt itll show in the UK!

    • £69 for a Gwyneth Paltrow fanny candle? What a load of shite. At least Nancy Pelosi’s were useful when US troops used them in Vietnam to smoke out Charlie from his tunnels.

      • Don’t ask a Yank for a ‘fanny candle’ Liquors, it means something else in ‘murican. Charlie’s Vietnamese tunnels would smell a lot better than a Paltrow Poo Flambeau brown candle (coming soon, $99.99, click & collect).

  20. Gwyneth Paltrow has defended the high price of her candles claiming that the production process is labia intensive….

  21. This isn’t quirky or endearing, its disgusting. Good job it will go over most 5 year olds heads.

  23. When my son was little about 10 years ago, there was a kids programme called Bottom knocker street.
    I stopped him watching it, just perverted brainwashing shite.
    It starred phil jupitus, a fat talentless cunt if ever there was one.

  26. Sounds like a spoof off Brasseye, like the highly controversial “Pâëdôgèddën” episode, does he also go around disguised as a school?

    • Why is it women complain so much about me using my waterproof camera at the swimming baths?
      It’s not as if anyone is going to see their faces.

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