A widescreen, 3D and 4K cunting for television. Not the electronic devices themselves. I’m talking about the utter shit content they display.
In my lifetime, so many things have changed for the worse. Air travel. Football. Society in general. A once enjoyable and much anticipated treat which was television has become utter crap. Here are some examples:
Reality TV. Novel at first, now it saturates the schedules and has become even dumber. If that were possible.
Commercials. These cunts deserve a cunting in their own right, but indulge me. I do not understand why advertisers would want their commercial to run back-to-back 3 times in a row. Or repeat twice or more within the same commercial break. It’s fucking insane. If I see that I immediately hate that company and their fucking product. I can’t be the only one. These days of course we have the woke commercials trying to make us believe mixed race couples are as common as same race. Nothing wrong with mixed race, but come the fuck on.
Programmes with commercial breaks. You’re enjoying a show then just before a commercial break, you get some cunt telling/showing you what’s coming up. Don’t fucking do that, you’re ruining it for everyone. I’d like to enjoy the show without knowing exactly what the next segment will contain. Why why fuckity why do they do that? Their other trick is when they come back from a commercial break, they re-show the last minute or so of the programme you’re watching, like they think you’ve got fucking Alzheimer’s. I strongly believe they do this to keep to the same time slot, but reduce the actual content so the show is cheaper to make.
Advertising within a programme. You’re watching some programme then half the screen fills up with advertising another show. When this cunting idea first started it would be a smallish caption at the bottom of the screen. These days they’re multi-coloured huge text complete with moving graphics, etc. Jesus Christ on a log flume, why can’t you wait to advertise your other shitty show during a commercial break? Oh wait, I get it. That leaves more commercial air time for actual paying advertisers. So to make more money, they’ll advertise their own shows within a programme you’re already watching. Just to make it even worse, they’ll show the same trailer over and over again. Like we all have Alzheimer’s. Best (worst) one I ever saw was the Sci-Fi Channel (now with the gay name Syfy) which usually screens a Twilight Zone marathon during the holidays. Classic, eerie and period black and white nostalgia completely ruined by the idiot broadcaster showing trailers for other shows in full color while The Twilight Zone is on. Or telling you you’re watching The Twilight Zone marathon! I fucking know that you cunts! Talk about completely ruining the effect. Absolutely idiotic.
When I was a kid 3 channels, all of which closed down around midnight, was the extent of our visual entertainment choices. Commercial breaks seemed shorter, less patronizing, less fear mongering and you saw different commercials each commercial break. When a show came back from commercial, it picked up where it left off before the break. Advertising within another show never happened. Who knew what we accepted as normal would change completely for the worse. Three channels became 4, then 5 then 300 and it’s all mostly shit with little to no regard for the viewers’ actual enjoyment.
TV has become an utter cunt. What say you?
Nominated by: Imitation Yank
My way round the shit – Record everything you want to watch, admittedly not a great deal, spin through the commercials, coming-ups, 5 minutes of recap before the fucking programme. Watch or delete the fucker.
I still want to drown those fucking meerkats in a bucket though.
12
That’s precisely what we do.
I haven’t watched a programme ‘live’ on TV for donkeys, apart from the occasional dip into the 24 hr news channels.
5
We do watch some live TV but the breaks are the time for going for a piss, having a wank, getting a drink/snack, feeding the cat or just looking at the wallpaper, the adverts don’t get a look-in.
9
Furthermore, I edit all the adverts out prior to viewing.
We watched a 90 minute documentary on the Suzy Lamplugh case at the weekend; after cutting the adverts out it was down to 65 minutes.
5
Bloody right!
And don’t forget the Brucie Bonus of having to pay for multiple fucking “platforms” so you can watch the one programme you can find on each of the cunts that’s worth sitting down with a cup of tea for.
And also, how many times do BT have to told I DONT WANT FUCKING BT SPORT CHANNEL FOR FUCKS FUCKING SAKE?!!!
7
Cancel the TV licence, don’t bother subscribing to the like of Sky, Netfux or Amazon, just VPN and the world is your oyster!
13
Oh yes, Cuntstable… those fucking what’s coming up next and recap portions that take up more time than the fucking programme itself. My boiling piss runneth over. Mitchell & Webb did a perfect sketch on that very matter which you can enjoy right here https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1bzdVi7lWD8
5
Good Cunting IY, TV is a load bollocks these day for their reasons you’ve mentioned and typically the more of something you have the quality drops and today’s TV is shocking.
Total shite, mostly reality shite with some dough Geordie slag or some Essex slag.
When in London I watch Amazon and Netflix mostly and not live stream TV. I bought an expensive TV for the Notting Hill flat and one of my bitches who works in my Hammersmith brothel said how nice the TV was…I said ‘keep working hard dear and I’ll be able to buy one for my Bristol flat as well’.
Go fuck yourselves.
16
Good evening and welcome to the show.
In part one we’ll be looking back at last week’s show and showing you what’s coming up in part two.
In part two we’ll be looking back at part one and telling you what’s coming up in part three.
In part three we’ll be looking back at part two and show you what’s coming up in part four.
In part four we’ll be looking back at parts one, two and three and show you what’s coming up on next week’s show….
17
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1bzdVi7lWD8
Terrific sketch on precisely this point, right here.
5
I’d ban The Gays and The Sooties from appearing on TV…this would prevent the likes of Philip Scofield and Idris Elba invading innocent sitting-rooms with their depravity and lawlessness.
I’d also ban fat people but I like that programme where some odd little Quack tells obese Septics that they are going to die.
16
LOL. That Idris cunt gets on my nerves in that advert for Sky I think where he clearly cannot sing and is generally being a cunt.
(I must admit, I liked him in The Wire back in the day. But since fame got hold of him he has become a right old cunt – DA)
8
Afternoon,B+WC….you alone on Christmas Day or have you managed to tempt one of your laydeeez to join you?
7
Afternoon DF, Cooking for some of the younger family members this year…the older ones are having quiet ones this year and I don’t want my annoying GIrlfriend hanging abaaaaht getting drunk and making a fool of herself like most women do.
I am such a great cook it’s no surprise really that I am cooking, glad its not a busy one as I was getting fed up with them. I may even go to Church christmas Eve…how abaaaht you old chap?
8
I agree DA, saw Idris strutting abaaaaht my street a while ago and I could tell he had almost as big an ego as me…the cunt.
7
I thought he was good in the first two series of Luther.
6
I genuinely enjoy being on my own,B+W…I go out with the hounds,feed the stock and then put a big lump of belly-pork into the aga…chuck some veg around it after a while and finally crisp it off under the grill.
(What Dick hasn’t told you is his secret scrapbook of nude photos of Jess Phillips, Margaret Thatcher, Shirley Williams and Anne Widdecombe. He’ll deny it of course – DA)
9
I bet there were some Polaroids of Dick around during the Marg of Arg scandal…
3
Fair enough DF, I enjoy my own company a lot to be honest and over the years I’ve managed to get rid of a few friends and that suits me fine. I can happily not speak to any friends for days without feeling lonely at all. I find girlfriends get in the way as well at times…and I cant see myself living with a woman again for a long time to be honest.
5
Top prizes to be won for correctly identifying the reference in the nom caption.
First Prize: A whole day and unlimited ammunition in a machine gun nest mounted above the white cliffs of Dover. Vera Lynn soundtrack included.
Second Prize: A seat at the Brexit negotiating table complete with a super powered water pistol and your choice of liquid: donkey piss, bleach or sulfuric acid.
Third Prize: A month’s worth of 5 minute segments to follow every news bulletin on al-BBC & Sly News to refute the crap they’ve just broadcast.
8
Was it Basil Brush ?…I’ve never trusted that chicken-taking,ginger little Cunt.
6
‘Twas not Basil, DF. Whatever happened to that old bugger anyway? I didn’t mind a bit of Basil Brush humour and malarkey back in the day. Back when TV was sensible.
4
I’m pretty sure that they’ve recently revived him…but “woke”,I’d assume…probably a homosexual vegan sootie in a raspberry-chariot these days.
4
From a song by 1980s US hip hop artistes, The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy. Can you arrange some nice weather and none of this lockdown nonsense for my stint on the machine gun?
3
A 9 out of 10,well timed cunting, Im Yank
(I never give 10!)
3
IY, I know what you mean about replaying what happened before the commercial break. When I was last in the states which was a good few years ago, you could easily fall asleep waiting for the programme to restart. Our breaks may be five minutes, they were twice that long over there. And then you have to take into account the fact that most Americans have the attention span of a squirrel, so they need to be reminded about what’s going on.
4
I think you might be right about that, Allan.
Like with many things in life, TV has been ruined in the pursuit of money and profit. On the Discovery Channel for example, towards the end of an hour slot show, they’ll broadcast a 60 second segment which will contain a one liner or some brief event of moderate significance to the whole show and then immediately go back to a commercial break. It is beyond infuriating. I’m sure it’s just so they can sell more advertising.
Consequently, whenever we watch one of the very few shows on live TV which we enjoy, we’ll record it and then start watching the recording 20 minutes or so into the show so we can skip over the bullshit and commercials. It’s always annoying when we ‘catch up’ to the live show. I’m sure the advertisers know people do this so pay to have their fucking advert shown multiple times back to back so you cannot help but see something of their fucking product. Cunts.
4
Television, sits in the room and pukes toxic shit into your mind if you allow it.
Like most on here I pick and choose carefully what I watch, most often something that’s either thought provoking or educational.
6
I submitted a potential topic last week regarding the coverage of the Big Bash, a cricket tournament currently underway in Australia. Whilst the technology is superb – slow motion,crystal clear image etc. the enjoyment is eroded by the inane commentary and frequent breaks for adverts which generally feature mixed race families. Mrs G has taken a particular dislike to one shrill female commentator,Lisa something or other who is especially dopey. Yesterday, the silly woman suggested that the term Mankad (used to describe an extremely underhand way of dismissing an opponent) should be replaced. She implied it was racist. A few overs later the woman stated that the term, which dates from 1947, embarrassed the Mankad family name.
I do feel that if the term Mankad is replaced we should look at a whole host of terms used in the greatest game of all- Chinaman, French cricket, Jaffa,cow corner etc.
On the other hand we could just tell her to go fuck herself.
8
If it hasn’t got Zulu, guns of naveronne, Elf, the magnificent men in their flying machines, anything with Terry Thomas it can go fuck themselves.
8
Just download TOR (a free VPN), and qBittorrent and the online world is your oyster, sailing the seven seas at your leisure.
All tv is utter shit; there’s thousands of wonderful movies at this site (totally safe, I use it all the time:
yts.mx
5
Be wary of fake TOR torrents – they can fuck up your PC if you don’t have a secondary firewall and AV in place
3
Kill your television, job done.
Neds Atomic Dustbin got that right :
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=xPA0gR1ctQ4&feature=share
Can I just say that I’ve been involved with a television, a hotel window in Cologne and a flowerpot for good measure?
Bin the cunt, it’s 90% shite and has become the modern cult religion.
5
And that fucking ‘History’ channel is a joke. Once gave it a try and they had an all dayer about some cunts who own a pawn shop.
I mean, what the actual fuck?
4
On history channel also fuckers who bid for the contents of abandoned storage units, literally white trash.
I suppose it’s history of a sort but hardly fucking Agincourt
1
Tell-Lie-Vision got taken over in the mid-90s, by the same fuckers who took over print media and proliferated mobile phones and the internet.
I loved TV in the early 90s. Four channels and you could guarantee some decent tits and muff (well cock and bum for me) every weekend night on 4. Over on ITV, they’d run the most obscure films in the small hours by the likes of Jess Franco that you’d never otherwise have heard of.
In 1995 it all changed. For the irreversible worst.
5
You bunch of bleedin bookworms.
TV is great.
Everything I know I learnt from telly!
Like a parent and teacher.
Yesterday I watched ‘return of the pink panther’ and howled with laughter eating my sunday roast.
Tv is the nearest thing to god.
Only watch repeats though.
4
Afternoon Miserable, I’m looking out for repeats of Scrapheap Challenge, remember that? Had the one who played Kryten from Red Dw@rf presenting and teams built stuff like hovercraft or giant catapults from scrap. Was an American version too but not as good as the original.
5
I DO remember it LL.
Never watched it but remember it.
I watched something the other day called ‘the last igloo’.
About inuit (Eskimo 😁) hunter in Greenland,
He was one of the last to do it the traditional way.
It was fascinating!
I was riveted to it.
And shocked because it was made by…BBC.!!
4
@LL.
I’d have been at that Lisa Rogers quicker than Diane Abbott at a KFC family-bucket
6
Ah yes Dick, let her have a rummage in the ‘Team Fiddler’ toolbox.
5
I remember the first American inspired TV beginning to infest our screens years ago – drivel for idiots.
Now we have the same, but with the added bonus of a political agenda and propaganda machines masquerading as “news”.
57 channels and nothing on, and I see the jellyfish has backed down on decriminalising non payment of the TV licence – push it much more and I can see this bastard being dragged out of number 10 by a baying mob.
11
No takers so I’ll end the suspense:
The nom caption is a lyric taken from a song by The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy. The song in all its glory can be seen here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD9pJzZ1XGI
Enjoy!
4
Fuck, IY. I answered your question above, as I hadn’t got down to this level yet and seen you’d given the answer, That means I have to take a seat at the Brexit negotiating table complete with a super powered water pistol. I choose hoss piss as my ammunition, as that’s where my victims will end up.
3
Reality TV. What fucking moron started that term? REALITY—-
the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
1.
“he refuses to face reality”
Similar:
the real world
real life
actuality
truth
physical existence
corporeality
substantiality
materiality
Opposite:
fantasy
2.
the state or quality of having existence or substance.
“youth, when death has no reality”
5
I remember when the Beeb was a half-decent respectable organisation, with informative and non-biased material on offer.
Any time in-between 11:30pm and 1:30am we’d have a gentleman with a received pronunciation accent wishing us all goodnight, followed by the National Anthem to the backdrop of a hypnotic spinning globe.
I’d let it play out until the end, and me and the wife would always stand up.
I cannot comprehend how utterly distasteful the Beeb has become recently. Auntie has morphed into a left-wing propaganda bus.
What makes it even more sickening is the fact that the public have to fund this shambolic outfit.
Disgusting.
7
Watched Minder On The Orient Express the other day. They don’t make good British telly like that any more.
And that bird in it (Amanda Pays)… Imagine shagging that on a moving train.
4
I’ve just read that TV companies now employ something called ‘time warping’, they speed up bits of the TV show, bits that you won’t notice, just so they can show even more adds, despicable cunts
0