Relaxed Tailoring

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There are times when Wireless 4’s You & Yours programme can be as funny – in both senses of the word – as the Starmer fanzine LabourList.

Take today, for example (December 2nd 2020) On this week of forthcoming mass unemployment, one item was about yuppie wankers who must “grab a coffee” at the coffee shop instead of making it themselves.

Thirty minutes or so in, though, the reach the nadir – “Relaxed Tailoring” which apparently means “onesies” and elasticated waist suits.

God help us – I am lost for words (for once):

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000py97

Lazy bastards should have been in the services – elasticated waists? if your gut is too flabby daily PT will sort you out – I’d love to see the precious little snowflakes endure that.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs 

59 thoughts on “Relaxed Tailoring”

  1. “relaxed tailoring”?

    is this just another woke phrase for being a lazy chav cunt with no dress sense and basically walking down to the local coffee shop in your PJs or tracky bottoms and knocked-off Adidas hoodie?

  2. That little boy in the image is already thinking “Christ my parents are a pair of narcissistic cunts!”.

    Future ISAC member for sure.

  3. That header picture is racist, sexist, Islamophobic, homophobic and transphobic.

    Well done Admin! 👏

    • Indeed Ruff!
      But what a loathsome looking bunch of smug self-satisfied millennials.
      Pine flooring. Statement useless Fireplace without a fire/grate/chimney obviously bought from the Gavin Williamson outlet.
      If you want to put a useful pile of logs in there too, well I can oblige 💩

  4. Off-topic but important

    Seems that Google is getting fucked over with some of its services- YouTube, Gmail, Google Drive amongst others

    Could be a tech problem their end or a DDOS. But at the moment they’re in shit street.

    • Yes, indeed so Techno. I first noticed Google having major issues yesterday during the late afternoon. On numerous occasions, I had several CAPTCHA challenges while Googling diverse innocuous randomness (via Vodafone / no VPN / on a logged-in and up-to-date version of Chrome / Android).

      This has never happened before. Any heads up on what’s going down, Technocunt? It does indeed look like time to crack open the popcorn.

      • I am quite surprised that Google doesn’t appear to have a business-continuity in place!

        Surely it’s not difficult to transfer services from one location to another – they have plenty of datacentres scattered across North America for that very reason.

        Moreover, it underlines one of the weaknesses with the Cloud, in that when it goes offline you’re stuffed, unless you have a backup copy locally

      • Greatest strength is greatest weakness.

        We’ve seen what happens when you interconnect the global economy tightly.. shockwaves can spread across the entire system like an epidemic.

        Now we’re mixing in the internet and our way of life in total.

        What could possibly go wrong?

    • Glad you posted that. Lost my a/c completely for a bit, then got it back when I switched SIMs, though that could have been coincidence. Weird, and a sharp reminder to get a backup account.

  5. They look a typical Scottish family, particularly the miserable little lad. I’ve never seen so many white people in one room before.

    • And not even one if the kids is half black. So that minx is not stepping outside the marriage for her 10 inches if Mandingo? I don’t think so.

  8. I’ve just realised that this is my second cunting on the same day about sartorial elegance (or lack of it). in my own defence it is rare for me to appear anywhere without looking as if I had just stepped from Gieves & Hawkes showroom in Saville Row.

    That Wireless 4 programme can be heard for a further fifteen days by the way – it has to be heard to be believed.

    • “old suit? Old suit?
      This suit is by Hawkes of Saville row!
      Just because the best tailoring youve ever seen is above your fucking appendix!

      Im not having this shag sack insult me…

  9. Families that dress like that-matching outfits-very suspicious.
    Call social services / child services and have those poor little twats re-homed.
    It’s the kindest thing to do😔

    • Reminds me of the Chav family in Tesco all wearing Liverpool shirts. Poor brain washed/less kids. Fuck off pathetic cunts . As for nutters walking the streets with coffee, gives me apoplexy.

    • No, I’m officially in mourning. One of the nicest, genuine people you could meet in the fucked up world of football or even the fucked up world of France!

      • What do the KKK wear under their robes?
        …see above.
        Onesies? For toddlers not adults.
        Theyd be better off with old school longjohns,
        With the bomb hatch on the backside.
        Easier for them when getting a good bumming.

      • The thing with Houllier was he wasn’t a cunt. Fergie, Wenger, Mourinho, Dalglish, Rafa, and most of the Chelsea production line could all be cunts to varying degrees. Ferguson and Wenger were spectacular cunts at times. Houllier was by most accounts a nice bloke, but so is Ole Gunnar Solksjaer and so was Dave Sexton. By the time of the Premier League, the days of the gentleman manager (Sir Matt, Bob Paisley, Joe Mercer) were long gone. It’s quite evident that almost all big name managers these days are cunts (see Pep Fraudiola), but Gerard wasn’t, and in today’s game, that was a disadvantage.

      • It’s the way of the World in all walks of life Norm.
        The ones who mainly ‘get on’ are arselicking cunts who often don’t have a shred of integrity or self respect.
        When I was working, I refused to play the game.

      • Fraudiola indeed.
        That fella has led a charmed managerial career so far.
        Like to see the cunt manage Carlisle.

      • Agreed Herman. Not even getting back the CL semi finals at both Bayern and City, with the teams he’s had there and the latter being treble winners under Heyneckes, is unforgivable and shows how tactically stunted he is when plan A doesn’t work. The players won it for Barcelona when he was there just like the players dragged Chelsea to the 2008 final when they were managed by Avram fucking Grant.

      • I wear combats, wellies (lots of muddy lawns/fields around here) and my Get Brexit Done You Cunts T-shirt.

        Hope this helps👍

  11. No need to get up. Free stuff. Endless furloughs. No need to wash as not going out. Reality TV. Virtue signalling on social media. Useless stomachs on couches. Socialist utopia.

    • Shove another frozen ready meal into the microwave after a poptart breakfast and wonder how the washing machine works. What a life.

  12. Once, whilst attended a family birthday meal, I was very distressed when my 18 year old, straight, nephew, answered the door in a panda onesie. A fucking onsie😢. His girlfriend appeared wearing one, as did his younger brother of 14.
    Both these cunts went into university😢.
    Is it any wonder this country is so fucked?

    The only all-in-one I endorse are my overalls (necessary with Land Rover Defender ownership).

  14. They are the almost acceptable version of the Jimmy Saville tracksuit bottom. I first came across them in M&S Swansea, a city not renowned for sartorial elegance, last year.M&S called them lounge wear. Chav wear would have been more appropriate.

    • I used to get all my vests, socks and keks from Marks & Sparks. St Michael, top quality.

      Now they sell shite made in Turkey. Fuck that.

    • Dear Wanksock, You obviously haven’t read ‘Aberystwyth mon Amour’ by Malcolm Pryce, where ‘smart Swansea suits’ are much in evidence.

      (Highly recommended for a good laugh anyway)

      Kind regards,
      Lady C

      • I remember when we went to Cardiff in 1974/75 when Man United were in Division 2. Their firm were all in Clockwork Orange type gear and doing Bruce Lee poses. The Cardiff cunt at the front of the line who thought he was Bruce Lee went down like a sack of spuds and then all hell broke loose. Ninian Park was a fucking strange place.

      • It’s in English, not Welsh and takes a whole lot of Welsh piss out of countless Welsh sacred cows. I am sure you will enjoy it. The part about the chemise reminds me of some of the blokes on IaC. Lord Fiddler to name but one.

        It also has Welsh vets (army not animal) from the Patagonian conflict (not unlike the Falklands but in a Welsh area of special interest) who are treated similarly to our own dear boys. (ie badly)

        Toodle-pip!

      • With razor blades sewn into the collars?
        Round my way in Cardiff, I see females out shopping in fluffy pink slippers…

  15. Sirs:

    Reminds me of Pajama Boy

    https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2013/12/opinion-rich-lowry-obamacare-affordable-care-act-pajama-boy-an-insufferable-man-child-101304

    Even in these strange and savage times I make an effort to dress appropriately. The other day I “attended” a Zoom memorial service. I put on a blazer, white shirt and dark tie. With the exception of the deceased’s daughter, who wore a simple black dress, everybody else on the Zoom meeting looked like they just got back from bowling.

    • Connecticut yankee@
      While I applaud your pride in dressing smart,
      At the risk of sounding cheeky haven’t you got any good barbers in America?
      Every man looks like hes wearing a Wig!
      The neck should be tapered,
      Its embarrassing for you as a country.
      Even the 3rd world has better haircuts.
      Come here for your haircut or train people but for gods sake please sort it out!
      You all look like your in remission.

      • Miserable —

        In the US there are hardly any regular barbers anymore. The well-heeled go to “stylists” and the ordinary people go to franchise outfits like Supercuts, which is one step above a barber college.

        But when you’re always wearing a flat-brimmed Chicago Bulls cap who cares about hair?

  16. At least they are not in buurkas. Well, the gels anyway. I expect we (gels) will have to get them soon. You men will be OK and can go on wearing your usuals, although combat fatigues may be banned when the new order gets going.

  17. I’m not a suit wearing person apart from job interviews, weddings, funerals.
    Job interviews at funerals.

    Other times I like jeans as they are comfortable, hard wearing and easy to put on.

    • Im with you Spoons.
      Im no peacock!
      Big woolie socks, rigger boots, jeans that stand up on their own, a “Harry Callaghan firing range & gun club’ t shirt,
      And my sheepskin flying jacket which cost more than any suit.
      Suits are for Jehovah witnesses and undercover coppers.

      • Afternoon Mis. This year, the charity I’m supporting is Jehovah’s Witness – I bought the grandchildren a Jehovah’s Witness Advent calendar each. Behind every door someone tells you to
        FUCK OFF!
        😅

  18. No idea what this means or signifies other than perspicaciously knowing it’s cuntwank.

  19. That photo is just wrong on so many levels.
    The bloke isn’t a sooty
    The woman isn’t blonde
    And the kids are not coffee coloured.
    According to the ads I keep seeing that is the only type of couple that exists now.
    Or in reality.
    The dad has fucked off
    The mum has an Essex facelift and has spent all the benefit money on fags and Stella.
    The 2 kids are still coffee coloured but one is of w** (edited – NA) descent and the other from a parking stanley which was obtained by shagging it for a free bag of chips and cheese.

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